Chapter - 33

The pads of her fingers were starting to wrinkle as the bath continued to leech the oils from her skin, but Rias couldn't force herself to be concerned. It was just a silly little temporary imperfection, and nothing to flee her haven over.

Akeno's hands moved gently through her hair, working the shampoo into a lather before rinsing the suds away. The silent steady companionship was a comfort, and the Ruin Princess knew that while Akeno normally loved to tease, her Queen also knew when such silliness would be ill received.

Rias didn't want to be teased right now. She didn't even want to think. Waking up with her mouth dry and head pounding would be enough to put her in a bad mood on a usual day. Remembering her utterly shameless and scandalous conduct was enough to make her want to melt into the cracks between the tiles of the floor.

Alcohol was no excuse for what she'd done. She'd caved to the offer of champagne with fond exasperation and no expectation that doing so would lead to her acting so brazenly. What must her friends think, having seen her hanging all over a man and flirting like a harlot? What must her brother think after she'd been so rude to him and more petulant than a child half her age? What would Sasuke think, as the victim of her unashamed behaviour?

And as far as Rias was concerned, Sasuke was a victim. How else could her Pawn respond with the way she'd thrown herself at him like a whore? If he put on a face of lust and need, it was just that – a face. An act he'd assumed because she treated his friendly teasing as deliberate sexual overtures for the sake of her own ego.

Rias wondered if Sasuke felt a little violated. Whatever façade of strength and apathy he'd managed to craft, Sasuke was her servant and weaker than her.

She'd heard from Naruto after she reunited them that Sasuke had short childhood in the custody of a negligent step-parent before being abandoned to a life on the streets. His only refuge had been the few short months of their chance meetings when Naruto had been able to sneak out to the village, which had ended after Souji's discovery of his excursions. Five years living hand to mouth in fear from of his life from stronger demons and fallen angels – her Pawn was surely afraid to go back to a life like that.

What if out of fear of returning to that life – or being punished by a member of the 33 clans that ruled the Underworld – Sasuke had decided it was best to simply bow to Rias' whims? He'd certainly run off quickly enough after she'd kissed him, probably exhausted and unable to keep up the act.

Rias settled her forehead on her knees, swallowing back the taste of bile in her throat. Perhaps it might be better to release Sasuke from her service. The combined force of his coarse generosity and pride might be enough to convince Sasuke to feel responsible for her personal troubles, but that self-imposed obligation was not in his best interest.

If Rias bypassed Sasuke's consent and appealed to Naruto directly, that would make sure that Sasuke was going to be looked after while freeing him from any duty he felt that he owed her. Her nephew would most likely want to have Sasuke's explicit agreement before trading her Pawn for his pawn pieces, but Rias was confident that if she just honestly explained things to him that he'd see things from her perspective, and agree. And not talk about the details of her disgrace after the fact.

Naruto was kind in that way, no matter what unjustified resentment she harbored for him.

"It'll be okay, Rias." Akeno soothed helplessly, moving from washing the curls of Rias' blood red hair to lathering gentle hands over the pale planes of her mistress' back. The sensation was familiar and comforting. How many times over the years had she shared a bath with her best friend? It was beyond count; their common ritual of relief and absolution.

Rias still remembered the first time she'd followed Akeno into the bath, caring for her broken little Queen after finding her fleeing her own clan. The desolate glimmer in those purple eyes had broken her heart at the time – it nearly broke her heart at the mere memory of it.

Grayfia had quietly wondered if the half fallen angel would be able to overcome the trauma of her mother's death and the loss of her family. But Akeno had, beating all the expectations of 'wiser' and 'more learned' devils. It was a reminder to Rias that no matter how deep the heartache or how sharp the suffering, that eventually all wounds began to heal in time.

"Yes." Sliding tired lids down over her turquoise eyes, Rias let the silent tears run. "I think you're right."

*

Oookay.

This was awkward. Supremely, magnificently awkward.

Naruto watched Rias morosely push around the last morsel on her plate, the potato sliding through leftover gravy with a barely audible squish. Sasuke was no better, what with the way he'd never once spoken to anyone and remained in his little loner corner at the edge of the table staring constantly down at his meal.

When he'd allowed them – yes, allowed, because no one got frisky around Naruto's relatives without his permission – to get drunk Naruto had pictured them playing around a bit and blowing off some steam. He hadn't pictured a depressed version of the Cold War being re-enacted at the dinner table.

Gulping the last cut of hearty beef, Naruto washed it down with a cup of water and waited. And waited. And then waited some more, until finally Sasuke rose to his feet with a screech of chair-leg-on-wood floor and left the dining room.

Naruto threw a nod at Akeno, acknowledging the Thunder Priestess' grim countenance. If Rias hadn't been in the room, he'd have planned out exactly how they were going to go about things. But no words were really needed. Naruto had known Akeno for eight years, and the silent divide-and-conquer tactic was expected. She would continue to work on Rias, and Naruto would handle the Sasuke side of the shitshow.

Jumping to his feet, Naruto scurried out of the room. To his annoyance, Sasuke was already at the end of the hall and turning the corner. Cursing their height different and his shorter legs, the Gremory heir broke into a silent jog, striving to keep the Uchiha in his line of sight without spurring the other devil to actually start evading him.

The chase paid off when Sasuke ducked into the library, Naruto hot on his heels. "Nowhere to run now!" The redhead crowed victoriously, locking the door with a click and quiet sparkle of power. The only way out now if Sasuke took it in his head to run was teleportation, and Naruto was more than skilled enough to track the raven's signature all across the Underworld.

"What do you want?" Sasuke growled sourly, refusing to give Naruto the satisfaction of his attention and scanning the bookshelves instead. It was the typical sort of bullshit Naruto would have expected from him, minus the implicit running away to hide like a little kid, which was exactly what Naruto accused him of doing.

"I'm not running away!"

Drawling out a "Really?" The younger devil cocked a mocking crimson brow and shoved his hands in the pockets of his black slacks. "Because it sure looked to me like you were shaking that ass all the way home."

"Don't be so crass."

"Sure thing, mom, want me to go rinse my mouth out with soap?"

"Eat shit and die."

"So if this is the tsun tsun, when do I get the dere dere?"

Sasuke just glared venomously, plucking a book from the shelves and cracking it open. Bloodshot dark eyes began to pointedly scan the pages, and when the Uchiha flipped a page it was clear this was a pathetic attempt at dismissal.

"Why are you reading The Mammals of Canada?"

Catching the book when Sasuke chucked it at him, Naruto peered down at in illustration of a dissected vole before shrugging and setting the text aside. "Can we cut to the chase here? Because seeing that stick shoved so far up your fucking ass is giving me hemorrhoids of sympathy."

"I'm surprised you even know what hemorrhoids are."

"Haha, keep joking wise guy. While you're at it, feel like telling me if you popped her cherry?"

"What?"

"You know." Rotating his left hand in a vague circle, Naruto smirked mischievously. "Pressing dangly parts. Sinking the pink. Corking the onion. 'Aggressive cuddling'. Wiggling the toothpick. Taming the strange…"

"Fuck, you're vulgar. No, I didn't." A shallow flush lit up Sasuke's pale cheeks, and the Uchiha glared steadfastly at a point several feet above Naruto's head.

"Did she pop your cherry?"

"No! Nothing happened, and even if it did, I certainly wouldn't be the one getting popped."

"Sasuke, you sly old dog, you dirty old man you. I knew you had it in you." Hopping closer, Naruto dug an elbow into the taller devil's rib and reveled in the grunt of irritation. "So who had the pleasure of making virgin boy Uchiha lie back and think of Konoha?"

"I'm not taking that from you, you socially retarded reject. I beat you by years. How old were you before you figured out where babies come from, dobe?"

"Was it Sakura? It was, wasn't it? Sweet heaven, I'm not sure if I should be disgusted with you for getting down and dirty with a fangirl before you had hair on your balls or pity you for getting some good old medic-on-cripple action."

"I'm going to kill you. I swear to fucking God, I'm going to end your life."

"So not Sakura. Hmm. Did Orochimaru have a taste that ran towards young boy bungholes?"

Sasuke gave a choking sound of inarticulate rage, lunging for Naruto and cursing as the redhead jumped over him.

"It was Karin, wasn't it?"

Utter silence.

"Man, what's with you and sticking the wick in my relatives? First Karin and now Rias? Don't tell me that it's some kind of homoerotic substitute for not being able to give me the old salami." Naruto grinned widely at his friend's fit of sputtering.

"I told you nothing happened you fucking fool!"

"If nothing happened, you wouldn't be so worked up over it." Shrugging, the Gremory heir boxed in the recalcitrant Pawn with a spate of reasoning. "But you are, and dinner was quieter than a necrophiliac undertaker opening a cold one, so something did happen. And if you didn't do the dirty, then you're probably getting your panties in a knot over kissing her?"

Frowning, Sasuke turned away and gritted icily "I am not going to stand around here and listen to this bullshit." The Uchiha stomped over to the door, trying to unlock it only to have a red zap nip at his fingers.

"I didn't say you could run off buddy boy." Scratching the top of his head, Naruto sighed and wondered how to deal with Sasuke's wrought up emotional state. Jokes and needling aside, the rage and whatever justifications Sasuke could clobber together were just to cover up his personal intimacy. Making friends was hard enough for the emotionally damaged Uchiha, getting sexually involved with anyone in a way that wasn't strictly about scratching the itch was probably enough to send Sasuke into mental spasms.

Fucking Itachi's mind games and fucking Danzo's policies had managed to break a little boy into so many pieces that even when put back together again the pieces didn't fit quite right.

Best to be short and sweet and then let the increasingly wild eyed raven run off to lick his inner wounds.

"Look, I'm not going to beat around the bush and talk outta my ass here. You kissed her, or maybe she kissed you. So fucking what? If you don't have any romantic attraction for her at all, then just acknowledge that and move the fuck on. If you are even the littlest bit curious, acknowledge that and fucking do something about it. You're lived a long time for a human Sasuke, and you have ten thousand more years to go. How fucking long are you going to let the past rule you?"

Tough love, but that was their way.

Without waiting around to watch the impact and imminent emotional collapse, Naruto teleported himself away from Rias' estate with a swirl of red light.