The Hokage Takes Action

After almost flowing outside village premises, Malaria swam up to shore. Shaking his trousers and twisting his aburame™-coat to get rid of the water, he suddenly paled. He just found out why the mosquitoes were being so obedient inside his body - they were laying eggs.

As any mosquito hater most likely knows, any stagnant body of water could become the nest of an infestation, if not a plague of new mosquitoes. For some reason the bastards within Malaria thought he wanted them to multiply when he jumped in the river. Feeling the thousands of little eggs and the almost 'proud'-feeling he felt from the bugs within himself, he truly wanted to take the Itachi route and jump of a cliff to squash them all.

In a week to ten days from now he'll have a double share of bloodsuckers to 'take care' of. Bringing up the memories of 'the hundred knots of the noose' again, he started knotting his overcoat into a makeshift snare. Climbing up a tree nearby, he swung it over a branch and tied it tight.

'Today is the day' he smirked to himself; 'Life and death, first death to mosquitoes, second life due to suicide to mosquitoes, second death due to mosquitoes.. If I get a third mosquito life.. No! I refuse to even believe it!' With determination shining in his eyes, he climbed up in preparation for a snappy and quick end to this nightmare.

Unbeknownst to Malaria, a certain Uchiha male was walking with a toddler Uchiha Shisui in his arms by the river, spotting the suicidal Aburame child tying a make-shift noose just outside the Uchiha clan. Not really trying to stop him, but rather questioning he shouts; "There is a world of answers, outside the loop!"

Startled by the profound sophistry, Malaria trips and lands on his back. Instead of an expected 'crack' of bones breaking or screams of pain, only a 'splat' could be heard. Somewhat dumbfounded, the Uchiha man walks closer with a wide eyed Shisui in his arms. Looking at the expresionless kid who's eyes were covered by the Aburame™ glasses, he couldn't help but notice the glint of insanity behind the stoic face.

"The clock is ticking. ThE pAsT iNcReAsEs, ThE fUtUrE rEcEdEs. Possibilities are decreasing, regrets are MOUNTINGGggg!" Malaria squeezed out through clenched teeth. "Do you realize the punishment you've given me by opening your bastard mouth? Their children are now dead, a sludge on my back..! They're feasting on me to drown their sorrow!" Malaria started wailing, the mosquitoes were consuming his blood at a rapid pace.

"Oh no, I'm getting anemic.. Bastard Uchiha, filthy pink-eyed, self-indulgent emo's with loading screens for eyes..", as Malaria descended further into madness, the mosquitoes started leaving his body, swarming around him like a black torrent. "My little 'swamp angels', my little 'mozzies', EAT YOUR FILL KAKAKA!!"

The swaming mosquitoes for once obeyed wholeheartedly with the command, swarming straight toward the Uchiha male. The only thing they knew was that the reason behind their offspring turning into slop was because of the target infront of them. Without having to think too much, the Uchiha held on tight to Shisui and darted towards the police station.

He couldn't really use a fire technique with a small toddler in his arms, and the mosquitoes were truly too many to count. Figuring he should ask for some assistance until the Aburame kid calmed down, he chose to ignore the maddening rant he partially couldn't understand.

As the mosquitoes chased after the Uchiha, Malaria was left alone and feeling like the blood in his body had been swapped with itchy fluids - so he gave up and passed out. What else could he do, force himself to stay awake feeling itchier than humanly possible? Impossible, truly and completely undoable.

—

As Malaria was having his episode, Sakumo finally got to meet the Hokage. Despite acting as the Anbu commander for the longest time, he still had to follow procedure. Entering the office he found Hiruzen smoking his pipe while working on some documents. Either that, or looking through the crystal ball on his lap.

Walking in and kneeling down before the desk, he asked what was on his heart; "Hokage-sama, have I done something wrong? I'm giving my all to the village, but I'm afraid to say I'm almost having doubts about my current mission situation.." Hiruzen who was listening attentively had a slight glimmer in his eyes, waving his hand and comforting Sakumo with ease.

"Sakumo, what brought this about? You have a larger share of work because you're the most diligent and fastidious of our combat force. On top of that, your strength combined with your wisdom leaves me at ease when I send you on the most difficult missions." Hiruzen tried to cheer him up. "Has something happened? If it's about Kakashi, there's no need to worry as he's one of Konoha's brightest seedlings."

'Kakashi is so bright he's almost lighting himself up in flame. As the adage goes; In the place where the leaves dance, fire burns… The shadow of the fire shines on the village, and once again, new leaves sprout.', the Hokage thought to himself. He could barely wait for Sakumo to croak so he could take Kakashi under his wings. He would make a superb Anbu no matter what angle you look at him from.

Before Sakumo could give further voice to his grievances, an Anbu appeared inside the office in an instant.

"Hokage-sama, Commander-dono, something happened at the Police Station. It's swarming with mosquitoes that simply won't go away no matter how many you swat." The man reported. "Allegedly a Aburame genius got apprehended in a cell and forced into a humiliating genjutsu earlier today, and this is probably said childs revenge. We haven't located him yet, but the situation is dire." the Anbu finished.

Opening their eyes wide, both Hiruzen and Sakumo raised themselves to their feet preparing to go to the scene. 'Could it be that stinky brat?' Sakumo thought to himself as they left the office, rushing towards the police station. It wasn't a long trek but when they arrived they saw a black cloud noisily buzzing around every single Uchiha police officer on the scene.

Nobody dared to use fire ninjutsu inside the village, especially since the police station is neighbouring the Hokages very own office. So, all they could do was run around with rolled up papers, smacking and slapping everywhere around themselves. A few 'defeated' civilians lay on the ground crawling like worms trying to itch the numerous bites all over their bodies.

"What nonsense is this!?" Hiruzen couldn't help but loudly rebuke. "If you can't use fire, use water instead! How hard could it be? Water Release: Great Waterfall Technique!" In short order, the sky was seemingly covered in a lakes' worth of water sprinkling down. Almost instantly all the mosquitoes got flushed to the ground, the buzzing in the air stopping as all you could hear was exhausted grunting from the police officers scratching their pocked bodies.

"Where is the Aburame child that caused all this? Bring him to my office!" The Third Hokage commanded before turning around, walking back to the Hokage building. The Uchiha police officers wanted to use the 'Hiding Like a Mole Technique' to hide their shame as Fugaku walked out of the station. Fuming and barking orders; "Find the brat and send him over - at once, make haste!", before he walked back inside to swat some leftover mosquitoes.

—

Malaria was soon found laying under a tree where his coat-noose was dangling in the air. It wasn't very far, just outside the Uchiha clan on the north stretch of the river. Noticing how he was passed out, the Uchiha officer that found him dragged him by the leg and dropped him in the river. Coughing and spurting mouthfuls of water, Malaria jumped up like a majestic seagull. Spotting the offender, he wanted to spout some profanities but got interrupted before he even began.

"You've been called to the Hokage office to answer for your crimes. Hokage-sama expected you 10 minutes ago, now piss off." The officer snidely remarked before walking back to the station to report 'mission complete'.

In an instant the water on Malarias' back felt colder than it should be. Shivering slightly he untied his 'noose' and wore it as he walked towards the Hokage office. Glancing at the aftermath of the Great Waterfall Technique and the squirming mosquitoes on the ground he could practically feel his bugs indigniation. For once they too wanted to improve and take revenge on all who wronged them.

Somewhat satisfied that about one hundredth of his swarm somehow survived and made it back to himself, while being unusually obedient, he realized that's how things should've been from the start. 'No wonder Shino could use survival of the fittest to breed crystal immunity. With this kind of obedience, anything is possible.' Malaria thought to himself.

Arriving infront of the Hokage building, he couldn't help but gulp. The entire police-station-swarm-fiasco could be attributed entirely to his depression from living as a walking mosquito buffet. Not that anyone has been sympathising with him so far, perhaps the Fire Pope will be lenient if he overhypes his insect ability?