Prologue

Looking back at when it first started; what did feel for her? It had been the first time I had actually seen her as an individual without Hwi hovering around her and her epileptic fits. But...she was gentle, kind, caring and she carried a warmth in her that could light up even the coldest of places like my father's miserable mansion. But when she lost her memories she forgot who I was and her feelings that she couldn't help but make obvious. But she was a young girl then; a teenager unable to control her emotions. When she lost her memories...I somehow in a sense replaced her brother I had sent away, even if it was to protect him...both of them...I replaced the brother she had forgotten.

But I couldn't just abandon her and I never would, even though it was just one more burden on my shoulders and consciousness. But she was young, defenceless, and just as much of a part of my life as her brother's and vice versa.

She did change though, I couldn't deny it. The little girl I grew up with, that myself and her brother protected all her life...was certainly not a little girl anymore. She was a fully grown woman with long thick hair, tiny hands, a strong smile and I figure I was honestly ashamed to say that I had never taken notice of before and...she was beautiful; I had to admit her beauty even surpassed that of Hui-Jee's, who turns out she was becoming easier to forget than I realised when I had Yeon in my sight... whenever I wanted. Her vibrant presence was starting to slowly fill up every lifeless room in the house...all the way up to my heart no matter how much I tried to ignore it...I tried with every fibre of my being to deny the only person who would smile and get excited when she saw me, the one person she looked up to answer her questions whether it be on the books she loved or my world which she was forced to survive in with no prior knowledge of, living in this cruel world as a poor ghost whereas I...I was unwillingly born from a cruel nobleman...and his concubine slave, the lowest birthright in the noble world. That birthright made me and others like me half-humans, we were seen as imposters and vultures who would cross all boundaries for half of their word we were made to feel we had no claim on. And Yeon...once a most beloved daughter of the greatest swordsman in our Goreyo dynasty now an epileptic orphan cared for her older brother after their father was unjustly framed and boiled alive in a cauldron in the town square... she had a far worse than mine and yet...I had never heard her complain once. She didn't have a sour bone in her body and my god...she had so much love to give to a world that refused to recognise her; I honestly didn't know if she was that naive or brave...

But facts were facts; no matter my reason I separated her from her brother who saw her more as a daughter than his own sister; her sole guardian since the unjust death of their father. My guilt and remorse were eating me up every day, which turned into months and then years. But she was so loving towards me... I hadn't experienced anything like it for such a long time. She had started to cook, hide behind her books like she used to, help out the servants even though she didn't have to...she always waited for me when I came back from the palace, watched me with her worrying eyes in case I needed anything and took great care of me when I let her...she absolutely doted on me which I found uncomfortable at first...not because it was her but because...well I wasn't used to comforting and caring at all.

But that was all before...before she did what she did. She both gave me a new life full of hope...and admittedly took half of it away when she left. I knew she didn't fully abandon me, and she was the first person to do that. She was still somewhere around me, watching me, caring for me in my sleep, and silently eradicating all plots on my life though she never admitted to it; my ever-youthful girl was just as hard-headed as her brother. I laughed to myself, of course, she was still here, I knew she couldn't leave while I was still here; ready for me to take advantage of all the opportunities she worked so hard to give me. But after all, she had been through and achieved...well, let's just say that it would be selfish of me to taste the spoils of my so-called victory to myself right? I needed someone there with me. I smirked to myself again as I downed yet another cup of liquor. Oh, Yeonie...my dear Yeonie...my Yeon. Mine. Did she really think I would let all her efforts go to naught? That I would let her get away with it all? It was all for my sake as well as her brother's I knew that; she was just as protective over us as we were of her, that much was clear now. But how dare she give me all of this; everything I wanted and she herself hide in a corner all alone without me? She did this, so she was going to stay by my side no matter what she had to say about it and savour every step of success with me. We both knew what she was hiding from; I saw that expression in her eyes that day everything changed. I know she was scared of my mood, my reaction to everything we had all been through...and my changing heart.

I just sighed, trying not to think about the impression she made on my body and soul for one single second so I could look around at the cheap old women they had in the gibang for the first time. As usual, I was lonely even though I had recently made up with Hwi but he was off somewhere, most likely around that corrupt bastard Yi-Bangwon as he couldn't even function without him...and I was lascivious I was not ashamed to admit. My mind wandered back to the time I 'accidentally' saw her change clothes in her bedroom when she had no idea I was looking. I was getting passionate just thinking about it. She was small but slender, fair, fully developed in all the right places, and dimples in some other places that I desperately wanted to trace with my fingertips; she had a body I could hold in one arm and work with the other...

My fantasies were so strong they were sending me to my knees. I couldn't take it anymore; I had planned to bring her back to me at the right time and preserve her honour in the right way; she was worth all of that. But after what happened...and what the mere thought of her was doing to me I really couldn't take it anymore. It had been a long time since she awoke all of my senses, but my desires were growing stronger after all this time; overtaking every part of me...and she was responsible for it, so she should take care of it.

I made myself at home in the Gaya home that she still had no idea I set up for her and waited quietly. I took a look around her room and a rare smile crept up on my face; she had decorated it just like she did my mothers' quarters when she lived with me. I looked through her makeup, her accessories, clothing...and just as I had predicted; she had stashed away my army headband under her pillow and some other fabrics from my clothing. As funny as I found it, I still had tears rolling down my face. I looked around some more and found the wooden basket she made me purchase her in the market...full to the brim with diaries and letters. But before I had time to delve into that, I heard her make her way inside. But I wasn't going to hide; not this time.

She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw me. At first, she was in shock before turning both emotional and elated to see me. But when she saw the look on my face and my demeanour, she tried to turn away but I pulled my sword out and pointed it to her back after reaching for the door first and slammed it shut. I then made her face me. She began to tremble in fear, so I thought I should attempt to act like the nobleman I was, for a while at least and I grabbed her by the waist and pulled her into my arms so close that our noses were touching to keep her stable. She asked me why I was looking at her like that, but all I could do was brush her hair against her lips and before I could answer her we were both caught up in the moment again and embraced each other like it was the most natural thing in the world, but the minute my hands started wondering she tried to wrestle me away. But I wasn't going to let her get away with it this time. I pushed her against the wall again and i told her we were going to finish off what we started and see it all the way through this time with no more disruptions. We both had tears in our eyes but she saw I was determined. She took one look at me and she knew I wasn't going to leave her room tonight. But there was nothing that she could do, and we both knew she didn't have a right to stop me anymore.

She took a deep breath before holding my hand and leading us both to her bed. I took up most of the space so she had no choice but to sit on my lap. She rested her small face into my neck like she used to but I was not in a gentle mood today. The smell of her hair was all I needed for my desires to take over once again and I started to undress her on the spot. Seeing her tremble in my embrace again was only making her more desirable to me...