Chapter 74: Seo Yeon

He had me by the arm so strongly I thought he was going to snap it off. I closed my eyes, I had been avoiding this precisely due to his temper. But I still could help but notice how big his hands were that almost wrapped around my whole arm...not to mention how we were kissing out of nowhere and how one of those big hands of his were wrapped around my waist whilst the other were touching parts of my body that I didn't even knew existed. I just looked at him as he gathered himself before he marched me down to fly kites, something I had always dreamed of doing with him, and I couldn't help but wonder how he found me and what was the real purpose of him taking me out today after what just took place. He practically pulled me out from behind him and pulled me onto his chest as he faced the kite in my hand as he continued to question me. "So was everything a damned act before? When you had your epilepsy? In front of me as well?! And how many times were you framed? I can imagine a girl with your mind was always targeted for something or another right? And exactly how much torture did you take for all these years for your brother? And for me? Why the hell didn't you come to me when you've suffered this much!" I couldn't help but cry again as we began to fly this kite, I couldn't believe he had thought about the pain I had went through, and he was actually getting more angry about it then I had realised. "When was I supposed to tell you? When your were dealing with your father? And my brother? And the guilt from the military exam? Or when you got to the palace and buried yourself in work late at night until the early hours of the morning?"I was so lost in my thoughts I really didn't realise that he had buried his head into my neck, resting his nose on my cheek and as ran his free hand down my arm. His hands began to wander again and we both had a really hard time controlling ourselves in public. It soon became dark but he wanted to take me out to eat before dropping me home. We ere still holding hands, even thought he was still holding onto me a little too lightly. We were walking until I noticed that he had stopped and pulled me aside to an empty room in the inn before we could eat. I stayed in one corner and he stayed in another, both of us desperately trying to hide our hands in case things got out of control...and right now that was very close to happening... "m...my mother..." that was all he needed to say for me to make my way to him without hesitation and wrap my arms around his waist. "Your mother was barely a teenager when your father started victimising her, too young to understand that she was being groomed. Your father wanted power and concubines were no longer hidden secrets but a sign of power. Nobody loved your father, nobody wanted him, so he had to trick a child to become his. Your mother had no choice in the matter; but no matter how badly she was abused she loved you the most. Please stop resenting her now" I pleaded with him. He had rare tears falling down his face and without thinking I pulled him into my embrace and kissed him so deeply to take his mind off of it, I didn't even realise where my hands were going until he started getting out of control. I had to practically wrestle him off of me; not because didn't want him to carry on...because we were both dangerously close to. I wasn't used to the touch of a man and I was trembling all over; that put a dark smile on his face. He practically pulled me onto him and traced me all over until a maid interrupted us and called us for our food; I couldn't get out of there fast enough. I shouldn't have done that...I was just too caught up in the moment...no, I was always wear around him.

We went to a remote inn with food and just sat in silence, he had already guessed everything he wanted to find out so there wasn't much to say anymore. We continued to eat in silence until it was time for me to return home to my brother. He looked at me rather bitterly for some reason so I got up to leave on my own until he reached his hand out and wrapped it around mine again. I had no idea what was bothering him but he was slowly getting drunk. The inn was empty at this point so there was only the 2 of us, he looked at me with this...glazed look in his eyes before he pulled me out of there and dragged me the hideout, before something happened between us that we couldn't take back. He took me by the hand and dropped me off. I was getting embarrassed as I had to step back but apparently it was too far back for him and he reached for my hand and pulled me so close to him that I landed on his chest. I pulled back from him as he started a casual conversation out of nowhere sarcastically, slowly torturing the both of us until he took my hand and put something in it; it was a silver pendant from one of my favourite market stalls. And in that moment all of my insecurities came back with the women he surrounded himself with in Ihwaru. I looked at it for a while "it's beautiful. I'm sure Hui-Jee will love it" I didn't dare to look at him in he face but I already felt the mood change. I could tell just by the way he began to breathe so close to me that he was caught off guard, then he got angry as usual. Without saying a word to me he just stormed off, noticing his temper had gotten a lot worse since I lived with him. He made his way back through the shelter like a ranging bull...and I had a sinking feeling deep down inside me, regretting what I had said already.

Tears spilled out of my eyes, but I had to make sure that he was sure of who he wanted...and if he would stay faithful as it was the first time I had seen him express interest in women properly. We weren't exactly strangers in love, we were both connected by my family. And I couldn't risk his precious friendship with my brother if something bad happened between us. I was putting myself in a bad mood the more I thought about it. I stormed off back to my room and stayed there until it was time to attend his father's sentencing.

I knew it...I knew he would be angry at me but...but it wasn't just anger was it? It something more...deeper...and darker...he was angry at me, that much I knew...but at the same time he...touched me, smelled me and had me in his gaze everyday.