Chapter 54: Seo Yeon/ Seon-Ho/ Seo Yeon

It was the day before Nam-Jeon's sentencing before I received word that he had managed to escape...and he would be coming after me of course. I just looked around at my loved ones who were all in the same room in the inn we chose to stay at in case anything like this ever happened. I had a few friends who I kept close to lock the door of the inn as well as to lock Seon-Ho in his room as well and to keep both places heavily guarded with all their resources that I could borrow. I then sent a note to...an ally I had recently aquatinted myself with. I then made my way to the Nam's mansion where I took Seon-Ho's horse so I could be sure that he couldn't interfere with my plans. I barely got away as I distracted the guards who were sure to be coming after Seon-Ho as well as I rode with his and my brother's life on the line.

I lead them in circles for a while before loosing them as I made my way to the family ranch I worked at and acted like everything was normal. But it only took a short while before he found me armed with more than 100 of his men, obviously prepared for all of the men to be here to shield be. But I didn't let him affect me, I carried on with my chores while he gave me his spiel about how I could never defeat him and the difference in our social classes...but what really caught me off guard was what he said about his son "a girl of your background, low caste and an epileptic deformity of our society; I really have no idea what my son sees in you. To think that he actually fell for scum like you. He was always waiting for you when you came back from the market and he always watched you as much as he could like a devoted pet, like you were his light or something. All my years of disciplining him to be a man, a soldier...all wasted on a disabled girl who doesn't even know how to be a woman" I didn't let him get to me although he was certainly hitting my weak spots. But I kind of blurred out the rest of his speech...until he was ready to wreak havoc on the ranch and kill everyone in his sight, including me...and I was ready.

I didn't move an inch as his men turned the ranch upside down, thank goodness I was here alone. He got off of his high horse with a smug look on his face I had seen over 100 times when he got his way but I still didn't move. He came charging at me like a bull and grabbed me by a handful of my clothes and he slapped me with the other hard onto the ground before he unsheathed his sword...until my ally came out and stopped him in his tracks.

"Well well...look who escaped his cell only to recklessly destroy the property of a Prince and try to kill someone under his protection? I'm pretty sure my father wouldn't be too happy to hear about this...especially when he was on the verge of freeing you thanks to my stepmother's dependancy on you. Oh well... I guess your sins had to catch up to you one day. Yeon my dear, are you alright dear?" He took me by the arm onto his side before all the men finally caught up to me...even Seon-Ho. In all my years of knowing him I had never seen him look so angry before...and when saw my split lip, the small cut on my forehead and the dirt on my clothes he had...a dark expression on his face I had never seen on hims before...only on his father. The prince had a flabbergasted Nam-Jeon arrested on the spot but before even my brother could react to my current state Seon-Ho pushed his way through the crowd and actually started beating his dad. We were all stunned for far to long before the all regained their senses and Hwi, Moon-Bok and Chief Park had to physically wrestle him off of is father whilst Jeong-Beom had to grab Nam-Jeon and he helped the Prince secure him on a horse as they made their way back to the palace. The prince looked amused but he started walking towards Seon-Ho...and out of instinct I placed myself between them, begging for forgiveness on his behalf. He was still out of his senses with rage but I knew the Prince wouldn't ignore my plea. He rolled his eyes at me and muttered something about me always getting my way like my brother always used to before I could collapse into his arms...and I blacked out.

******************

I ran around to find her once I had word that she regained conciseness. I looked for Hwi first but himself and his men were gone. I looked all over town running around like a madman until I saw her...being dragged away by some guy I swore I had seen around my father's mansion. I was frozen on the spot as this was my second time seeing her in the presence of another man...and I hated it. With everything in me I was getting angry every second he had his hand on her. Didn't she have any idea how worried I've been about her? That I couldn't eat or sleep until I heard she was ok? That I waited outside her room for her to wake up? So what the hell was she doing with this kid and not looking for me? I still had a lot to unleash so it was a good thing I came prepared as I felt my dagger folded in my robes as I started following them.

I saw this scrawny kid who looked to be Yeon's age...and a noble by the looks of him grab her by the arm as he made his way to one of the most expensive tea places in the village. I just snorted quite loudly, the kid was lean, he didn't have a single muscle on him. He wasn't even tan like I was...this kid probably used his parents money to lounge around with no ambition or work in sight. I set my sights on her instead...I could have sworn she kept looking around uncomfortably trying to find routes to leave. But before I could move she was already in the tea shop. I suddenly felt a horrible sinking feeling in my gut...and the flashback of what I went through the last time I took a woman to a tea shop.

I hesitated a little before making my way into the shop...and that horrible feeling of mine sunk lower and lower until it turned into anger. She was sat on the biggest table with the biggest tray of teas that I could provide for her on a weekly basis...as I saw this creep offer her the 'lovers tea'. I had to hide behind something as I felt myself sink the floor, getting what probably was a small taste of the hell I must have put her through with...well lets not go there. I was getting so angry but I wanted to see what she would so. I had a hard time keeping my hands to myself as I watched her actually hesitate about picking up the drink. I lost my patience right there and then as I threw my dagger at the tea cup this asshole was actually trying to put into her hand himself. As usual Yeon didn't even l look to see who had thrown it she didn't have to as I dragged this guy outside and knocked him out with a couple of punches until my hands bled. How dare he...how dare anyone lay their eyes on what was mine...the one thing that was mine. First Bang-Won and now this guy?!

I stormed off to Ihwaru where I drank more than I ever have before without even looking at Yeon I was still way too angry. Women had come in and surrounded me as usual, trying to fill up my cup even more but the truth is that I couldn't even look at them. I didn't want them anywhere near me but I thought it would be the best thing to do to make Yeon jealous.

I just didn't understand. She had always liked me almost since the first day we met. Even now when she had lost her memories she still loved and cared for me. So what had happened to her to hold back now when I finally felt the same way? Did I do something wrong? Did I mistreat her in any way unknowingly? Or was it because she felt uncomfortable about my past with Hui-Jee? I got so angry at that moment that I smashed my cup against the wall. The room fell silent but I didn't care. A half-naked concubine came and placed her hand on my shoulder and I almost broke her hand but before taking a long hard look at her thick makeup, her fake jewellery, and her empty smile; nothing like Yeon.

I carried on drinking until the room went silent again and I turned around to see what happened and got the shock of my life when I saw an underage Yeon in the room looking for me with a face full of worry. She looked over at me and looked like she had something to say to me but then she saw the women hanging around me and gave me a hurt look before running away.

I shot up out of my seat and went running after her but she was nowhere to be found. I looked everywhere I could; the market, her workplaces, the fields but nothing. I was going out of my mind; I stomped my way through the mansion and almost broke her room doors down but she wasn't there. I just crumbled and barricaded myself her old work room and slept; waiting for her to come back.

****************

I went to find him as soon as I could but when I saw him surrounded by a bunch of women I couldn't return to him. I was hurt angry but mostly I felt remorseful. I was still living a double life and I couldn't tell the man I love in order to protect him. Hwi told me ages ago that he had started to follow me so I made sure that he only saw the places had started working at but he had no idea about how I spent the rest of my time, who I was meeting, and the things I have done and had been a part of. If he knew...on top of the things he had already found out, the secrets I was forced to keep that could change his whole life...and mine as well.

I just broke down in my brother's hideout whilst he was away. Which was another reason that was weighing heavily on my mind. Hwi had already told me the whole situation and even made me part of his plans so I could protect the man I love. But I couldn't keep lying to his face. I had to keep my distance until the time was right...after that, I vowed to leave the situation up to Seon-Ho's hands; If I were to be his sister, lover, or nothing at all. The mere thought of his rejection and anger towards me was enough to break my heart as I cried all night long. No one really knew why I put myself through so many jobs when I didn't have to, to train and study...but I couldn't let them know, not until I had concrete proof...I had to lock away my pain until the right time came. And had no idea what the hell I was doing anymore until then...