Chapter 22: Seo Yeon

It started out so slow I didn't even see it coming and to be honest, I thought he was still into Hui-Jee. But it was true, his behaviour towards me had completely changed since they had their last conversations and he came back drunk. But honestly...since I had lost my memories he had been paying more attention to me as usual...in a different way...he went from distancing himself from me, understandably so...to almost going out of his way to having a couple of interactions with me a day...and the way he looked at me despite his forced smile was just so...sad and lonely that I didn't dare turn against him. It was like he was making his own self-improvements off of his own back to try and be sociable for once. He missed my brother; so he wanted companionship...but I didn't dare take in the other signs he was giving me in case I misread them...god know's I would only be more miserable that I already was if I interpreted things wrong...that he could actually like me...So I decided to act like his sister and spend more time with him...when his father was away at work. He was most definitely surprised at first...in a sad way that made me so angry at his father it was already a miracle that I didn't kill him in his sleep already. I was sad about his...preference but seeing him in his father's home showed me another side to him; a lonely sad isolated side that brought out another side of me I thought I only had for my brother. I was becoming...possessive over him and his happiness...from afar of course. I sought to eradicate his loneliness...which only boosted my own self-confidence from my own problems; a young maiden girl with epilepsy, goring up in poverty, my public fits...I forgot about them completely whilst tending to Seon-Ho, and for that I was eternally grateful.



He had me rubbing his ink-stone first when he worked, we would talk for a long time about both our interests over tea, which surpassingly he wanted me to make rather than the ones the servants made...along with food and clothing accessories I would sew in my spare time. He...actually started asking me for these things directly; I was so taken aback I couldn't help but blush. I had to turn around so he couldn't see how red my face was getting before I accepted and I almost ran out of there, fully aware that he was trying his best to hold back his laughter with all of his might. I got so flustered and annoyed at the same time I couldn't help but go back to my childish ways; I turned around and indignantly throw a couple of small cushions in his face to try and make him stop laughing before I ran to my room and collapsed onto the door behind me. I did everything I could do calm myself down; fanning my face, undressing myself and splashing myself with cold water...unaware that he had opened my door slightly so he could watch me with such immersion that I would have fainted right there and then if I knew what he was doing...apparently he started doing that a lot watching me when I wasn't in his company. He would tell me, later on that he had even hated his drinking habit in the gibangs just to watch me when he had free time...even in my most intimate moments...his loneliness and despair compelled him to watch me in fascination...he told me it brought him to life...If only I had known about these precious moments he was taking for himself...



It had been a while since I regained my memories but things were so tense between Seon-Ho's father and my brother it was impossible to make it a priority. And then there was Seon-Ho, who despite playing his part in this nightmare I couldn't help but notice his sincere efforts to protect me from his father and everything else.

 But it was so hard when I lived under the same roof as him. And maybe I was just being paranoid but from the time I came to his home, he was always maintaining his distance, even if he was reluctant, which was most times. But after that night he came home really drunk...it was like he was putting himself in my path as much as he could. He even began accompanying me to the market, loaning me his stationery, books, and pretty much anything I wanted. He even began sending me presents back on birthdays and holidays...expensive ones....and foods he didn't know that I had remembered when I couldn't digest all the fancy ones his father took great pains to put on the table everyday...and he even sent me some delicacies...choice of ribbons and even a bottle of perfume. But I refused to believe it was anything more than...it couldn't be right? Maybe it was just sisterly affection? Or whatever it was, it couldn't have been happening at a worse time...