Chapter 108: Seo Yeon

Seon-Ho's return was a relief for me, but it also scared me as well, how much I was loosing myself in him. No matter what struggles he had been through he always came back bigger and stronger than ever. The once deprived, lonely and tortured boy had indeed gown up to be the man his father always wanted him to be. But he was his own man...and a man he surely was. He smiled at my face in front of everyone but behind closed doors he was angry at me, and I dreaded to think how much he knew before I had a chance to tell him anything myself. He didn't look at me, or speak a word to me at all. I tried to get close to him but he would then turn the tables on me and demand as much intimacy from me as possible. This war had changed him somehow but he wouldn't talk about it. He made me serve him in every way possible but when we woke up in the morning he was with the men all day until nightfall. This went on for a while until the week before we were both due back in the apace. One night I caught him sneaking out at night to the inn where I was attacked. But when I saw that he was drinking in a gibang that was when I had had enough. He saw me and I couldn't take it anymore. I ran back to my brother's home in the village before I returned to the palace that night. I was still recovering from everything I had been through...I should have known that I could only rely on him so much. And he wasn't the same person anymore, not really; he had become just as stoic as his father had been when he kept me as his hostage. And I needed to get back to what I had to do, to carry out my investigation. If he felt that I was too much of burden on him then maybe I should just leave him alone like I thought I should after I left his father's mansion.

I threw myself into work, more so even when I first came here. I had started receiving letters 'from the army general' but I hadn't opened a single one. And when he returned to the palace I avoided him completely, I even dared to defy his orders as I had long heard roumers of him meeting up with his soon to be wife without telling me anything about it. I was still too numb to soak in his betrayal. When he sent his servants to collect me I always had the Prince Bang-Gan send them away, who I was beginning to spend a lot more time with. He had sensed that something was wrong so he kept me close to him. I didn't dare look at Seon-Ho's face, I didn't want to give him the satisfaction...but when I snuck a look he looked angry all the time. He had started flirting with my colleagues and even sending them presents to show off to me. Some even had the damned nerve to think that they had any superiority over me...well that lasted until they found my fist connected to their faces. In fact, Chun-Ae was the one who couldn't contain her jealousy as she had personally started taking care of every woman who walked into his office. They all stated falling ill or had disfigurements to their limbs...precisely where they placed their new gifts. It was completely obvious but I didn't say a word...and he obviously wasn't happy about that. But what really pissed him off was when the prince actually made me accompany him on a month long trip to another province. He usually left the palace to be around other...tasteless royal/noble people and he insisted I had come along with him. His presence kept me calm strangely enough and I actually didn't mind being around him.i had started keeping him company a lot more as my schedule was already flexible enough. But Seon-Ho hated it, to the point where he would punish me like a common maid, but I didn't refute him even once. Normally I use would every trick I had up my sleeve to get out of any punishment and he knew it. He was beyond furious he saw me kneeling outside his office just like he ordered me to that he started taking his anger out on Chun-Ae and myself. He had her whipped whenever I did something to anger him and he basically emptied out my work room before he knew of my plans to join the prince. But that didn't stop me, I was sick and tired of his cold behaviour towards me. He still found me to do whatever he wanted with me, and that was the only time I couldn't fight him off...it was because I still loved him. I had no idea what he had been through but if he didn't want to open his mouth and started chasing after women I didn't have time to just sit and wait around...although I had suspected that a lot more was going on than I knew. But he had really hurt me this time, and I had things to do before my brother caught on to what I was up to.

He had me in his office one day while I was getting changed back in my clothes and he actually had the guts to ask me if I had anything to confess to him; as if I was the one who had been chasing other men and had shut him out. I told him that I did as I had finally finished getting dressed. He finally...looked relived somewhat but I felt nothing but pain and anger as I told him that this was the absolute last time he ever got to touch me again as I tried to storm but of course he wasn't having any of it. He slammed his door so hard that even I let out a small scream. Heh ad my face in his hands as he dared me to repeat myself. I had never in my life herd him use that tone, especially with me. I saw a dark side emerge out of him as I replied calmly that he should be with the kisengs and maids that the whole palace was taking about. He looked like I had slapped him in the face when he saw my tears and before I could help it I burst out in an angry scream about what I had been through and how much I was looking forward to having him home, I screamed how much I loved him and how I had even shopped for our upcoming wedding...but that the had completely disappointed me and how if this was how he was going to act instead of supporting me like I had alway supported them then I didn't want to see him ever again...and with that I kicked his door down with my foot and I ran as fast as I could just in time to board the ship that the Prince had waiting for me. I hadn't even had time to prepare my brother for my absence but I really needed to get away from the palace right now before it became my end just as it was my father's. And it was Seon-Ho who suffocated me more and more; his behaviour was bizarre and out of control...not to mention what just happened in his office...which was more forced than anything I had gone through before.