New World (1)

"And that's how it is. Get out of my sight and never appear before me anymore."

I had no words in my mouth. Lenin Yulen, the man who controlled the first ten floors of the Tower, the man who ranked in the top ten rankers of all time… my father…

All I could do was keep my head down. His gelid glare made me shiver and tremble to my core but my head was still down. I could not show him the tears he despised the most.

"Hic…"

It was not intentional but the muffled sob flew out of my mouth before I could stop it.

I hurriedly tried to look up, terrified of the ruthless words that felt like blades tearing me up but this time, it was different.

Bam!

Something hit my chin and I found myself flying. The tall ceiling that I could never reach extended in front of my eyes. At the same time, an iron taste flowed through my mouth.

"Gah!"

I was kicked right under the chin. Thankfully it was not too hard or else my jaw would have been in pieces.

"Ugh…!"

It hurt a lot. For a moment, I could not see anything nor could any sound enter through my ears. It was excruciating.

"I am pretty sure I said this before."

But the intimidating voice of my father shook my head like a fierce storm shaking a house. My eyes felt wet as well as my cheeks. Did my tears finally break through the dam I was trying so hard to protect?

Bam!

"Urk!"

It hurt so much. My father's leg was pushing down on my guts heavily like a boulder. Once again, I felt pathetic.

"I told you to never show those tears in front of me, you bitch! You don't even have any talent, and you dare cry in front of me?! GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!"

My father's hand rushed towards my throat and squeezed before I could avoid it with my pathetic speed. His immense strength seemed to suck out the life out of me. I was really going to die at this rate!

But maybe my father didn't want the honour to kill his own son, so he threw me away.

"Get out and never show your face before me. You are not a part of the Yulen from this day onwards."

"Ah…"

Something shattered. Something broke. It was stinging and piercing me like glass pieces. Ah, how fragile it was… I knew it would break someday but I didn't expect it to break like this.

"Hic… hic…"

I came to a realization.

***

I couldn't hold back anymore. I was trying so hard to not tread this path but I didn't have any choice left for me.

Standing on the edge of a nameless cliff, I stared into the distance.

It was desolate and abandoned.

The sky was grey and grieving.

The grass blades beneath my feet drooped low in melancholy.

It was sad… just like me.

"Haha…"

There was nothing left in my eyes to shed. I tried, but I couldn't build the dam in the middle of an overflow. I was just too weak to do that. And now, there was nothing left, just melancholy.

"It hurts…"

My whole body was covered in bruises and some of my bones were in a dire state. They screamed and stung.

"Maybe I should have taken another route here. I wouldn't have gone through that beating otherwise."

Those scenes flashed across my mind once again. The fists filling my vision coming out of nowhere, the cracking of my ribs, the laughs, and the disdain they brought with the fists… all of these came vividly to my mind.

"Ha…"

A dry laugh came out of my mouth but even that was sad.

"It is a sin… I am sure now…"

Being weak and pathetic was a sin. The world is fair. The world gives everyone a chance, a second chance to redeem themselves but… where was my chance? I kept my eyes wide awake and aware of my 'second chance,' but where was it? I could not find it.

Was this what they meant by "the world is fair"?

If that was it, then…

"Hic.. urk… ugh…"

This will be my retribution. I could see a second chance right in front of me. Just one step and I would gain that second chance, I would be free. I…

"Argh…"

'Hold back, don't cry. This is a very special moment, so don't cry. You just have to take a step and it will be over.'

School, family, people, society, rankers, Tower— everything could just go to hell.

I want my second chance.

It will be fine.

No one will even care if I go away.

So, don't hesitate.

Drip…

A water drop fell on my head.

Drip… drip…

Soon, the grass was soaking wet and so was I.

The desolate landscape was now white. Drops were falling and so were the drops from my eyes.

"Hic…"

The sobbings were lost in the loud rain.

"…are you trying to stop me?"

The grim sky replied in silence.

"...are you trying to take away my only retribution?"

The rain only got heavier.

My head drooped low.

"...sorry, but you failed."

I took the step.

An intense gust hit me as I fell down the cliff.

I let my body loose and let it fall freely. Only a few seconds were left before I got my retribution.

So this was my end...

'This sensation... it's despair.'

"...?"

It was a strange voice. Someone was talking to me. Who was that? But there was no point in thinking anymore. I was gone anyway.

"Ah…"

I saw the sky. It was not grieving. It was not mourning. It was just there. But…

"It is beautiful."

Thud!

***

This feeling… I was regressing again.

Only a few moments before I forgot all the things that happened.

Everything was black but I could see my body.

That bloodied room, the blood that splattered all over me as my brain got punctured by a knife... I was completely clean.

"This place..."

I could not remember this but my body was used to it. It knew this empty void better than my mind.

"I…"

I had a desire. This desire was left with me every time I regressed.

"I… want to die. I want to be happy."

But of course, that was not possible for me.

I closed my eyes and fell into the dark pit, hoping that I would not wake up anymore.

***

"..."

Drip! drip! drip!

The sound of rainfall.

Where was this place?

'Wait, I know how to talk?'

This was new. I don't think something like this has happened before.

Normally, only the fact that I regressed would be in my memory.

'But now, I can remember it all.'

I could remember the hole in my heart that was left when my parents left me alone, I could remember the anguish I kept buried inside me as I had my arms and legs broken. I could remember my nails scratching the walls in hopes of freeing myself. I could remember the screams that escaped my throat when my fingers were being severed. And...

'I can remember the knife digging deep in my brain that made me realise the despair.'

I slowly opened my eyes.

Rain was falling and I was soaking wet.

"This…"

This was not the body of a child who was just born but a body of a boy in his late teens.

And this place… I was not familiar with this place.

"Where am I?"

I had a lot of questions.

***