Memories Of the Past
Tip-tap. Tip-tap.
The strands of time flow, while the sands of the future shift. Yet Shiji still remains on the same road he had traversed once, and only once, as a child. The asphalt street was strangely vacant, with only a few lamps and shops left open to illuminate it. Seeing his hometown after six years was, as expected, nostalgic, but Shinji felt nothing, but the hollow pangs of his heart swarm him.
It wasn't surprising that the life Shinji was leading was as empty as his brain. He had no friends, no lover, no money, and above all, no gifts. He remembers walking down this road, face filled with optimism, and a heart filled with dreams.
"Nothing remains anymore," Shinji said as he bent down near a small lake and lit a cigarette, the only thing remaining in his pocket.
Sparrows chirped melodies of joy as they swished by the clouds of smoke escaping his destitute face. Humans, animals; almost everyone is happy at least once in their life. Too bad, it never lasts. How many have previously thought in their life that nothing can go wrong? What happens once they reach the apparent end of their road: a miserable dead end?
…
…
…
"So, you came back here to study in a random, rubbish university instead of going to a good one in the capital? Seriously, what the hell?!" A slim, horse-faced boy said, as he looked at Shinji's entrance test results with furrowed brows.
Shinji sipped on a newly-brewed cup of coffee, with a pallid face. He focused on the scenery beyond the rails of the balcony, that resembled jail bars, and smiled towards his horse-faced friend.
"I think that this entire studying thing isn't for me – so why even bother anymore? Since the moment I learned that I could do something for myself through studying, I spent every solitary moment, every single breath of my life memorizing my books in the middle of the night while others were jamming at parties. The end result is before you." He swallowed the bitter tea and returned to look at the vista of urban Hokkaido with an enigmatic resentment.
It wasn't something strange or unheard of. A student would appear in the National Entrance Test and score so low that most universities in the capital region would just reject their applications, no matter how extraordinary their previous results were. Isn't it a bit cruel to decide one's future in a single exam?
Shinji almost felt as if he was rebelling against something; maybe it was just the anger, or just perhaps the helplessness, but he returned back to his hometown, somewhere he had never set afoot before in many years to enroll in a college no one knew the name of.
If it was his older self, he'd cry, but he had already decided to ruin his future the best he could. This was his anger: if he was fated to die poor, he might as well attempt to kill himself earlier.
"Kenji, brother, why? I agree that this isn't that great of a result b-but, why an arts degree?!" Yuuji asked as he shook his head at Shinji's mind-boggling choice.
He looked back towards Yuuji, dressed neatly in a white t-shirt, and smiled. "Oh yeah, about that, I just underlined whatever subject appeared in my vision and mailed it to the uni. Do we really have to talk about this, though? Its been six years, my friend, we have lots of stuff to catch up to!"
Shinji stood up to get a refill but got confused instead when his right arm was grabbed by Yuuji. The guy that was perhaps his only friend chuckled and shook his head.
"Well, I guess it doesn't matter anyway. You do remember what I was like, yes?"
"Of course, you were a perfect A student! I can't imagine how hard you had to study while staying in this city, though."
"No…man. I applied to the same university as you but in the science department. I guess its fate, or maybe I didn't study that hard before the exam, but I got a really low score." He said and gave off a small chuckle.
Brothers till death, once upon a time; now strangers, not even daring to ask further. Time tends to do that. Shinji noticed that his so-called one and only friend was rather uninterested in his story, which wasn't out of his prospects either. His yawns, short pauses, and his texting habit in the middle of a conversation gave his mood away.
"Looks like God doesn't like either of us, Shinji-san. I mean, just look at the others. Remember Fatty Yui? He got a chance to attend a university in Switzerland, and the bastard flew away without even telling me. Mizuki-chan, too, she topped the prefecture and was even featured in the local news!"
The two familiar names rang in Shinji's mind like thunder. Of course, nostalgia wasn't enough to describe the heavy feeling in his chest; most of it was jealousy, anger, and regret…
"Yui, Mizuki… Its been a long, long time since I've heard their names. Damn, you're now making me feel bad about leaving this city." He laughed, trying to hide that in these six years, none of them bothered to contact him.
"Fatty is out of the country right now, so yeah, forget about him. Mizuki-chan is still here in this city if you want to see her again. She lives nearby, and I'm sure she'll be happy to see you again!" Yuuji said while sharing a laugh with him. He could feel the hidden intentions behind his words, but… no, just no. Shinji wasn't in the mood to talk to such a fantastic person right now.
Shinji's eyes twitched as he recollected their memories from the depths of his mind. Friends, he rarely made them.
They talked for a few minutes more and caught up with the latest events. Yuuji had papers to fill regarding his applications to the college; thus, he left the flat with a small smirk. Shinji bid him adieu, and stepped back once more onto the wood-like linoleum floor of his flat.
The living room was small: it had a coffee table, littered with empty cups, a few sofas, and a VESA mounted TV still covered in stickers. He had just bought it a few days ago with his father's retirement funds and moved, accruing disapproval from the rest of his relatives. He was too tired of even think about mundane facts, so with a thump, He sat on the sofa and turned on the TV.
"Tomorrow will be cloudy with small bursts of rain. Please stay inside to avoid a cold, thank you!"
Great; He wanted to watch the weather channel but it had ended just as he turned it on. Damn you to hell, bastards.
Shinji rubbed his forehead in frustration and let loose a whimper in surrender. He had enough today. So, he went to his bedroom and pulled down the curtains, even though lovely dark clouds were brewing outside, and sighed. He sat down on the bed in total darkness, and tried to just find peace.
Of course, he knew he would continue to suffer. Just as he had began to think he'd doze off and forget about all of this, the door bell rang. He facepalmed myself and shook his head like a madman, but went to open the door anyway. Maybe someone came to welcome him since he had just moved in yesterday!
Shinji opened the door, only to be welcomed by an empty hall filled with lights that had began to flicker. He said, "Great. It's just what I needed – another disappointment."
Tears burst out of his eyes. He closed the door with a bang and jumped on his bed, and tried to fall asleep as fast as he could. His wish turned true, because when his eyes closed…
Shinji woke up at 6 in the evening.
As if a bolt of thunder had hit hus ass, he jolted awake. He was beginning to think that he might've wasted a lot of his time sleeping, but realized that he had nothing to do anyway.
There was a slightly bitter taste in his mouth, something he couldn't clearly understand. He shrugged and washed his mouth, and went to take a drink when he saw that my fridge was devoid of anything resembling a cold one. Ok, fuck you.
"God fucking damn this world. Fuck me; now I have to go down to buy a damn can of coke."
Shinji retraced his steps, and took out a few notes from his now-empty wallet. If it was any other time, he wouldn't have bothered but currently, rage was brewing in his mind. While walking down from his floor's cooridor, he walked with such strength that he ended up crushing a metal can of Sprite that was littered on the floor.
"Fuck you too." Shinji cursed as he kicked away the can, and descended down into a small avenue. He scurried towards a store near his house, and bought a pack of cigarettes and drinks with almost 90% of his remaining money.
Alright, now as a legitimately broke man, he wouldn't need to hold back anymore. With a nonchalant wince, he chugged down a bottle of beer and continued onwards towards his house, only to stop, when a lady brushed past him.
A familiar...bitter, feminine fragrance hit him, as he coughed and looked at her, smitten by the oddly nostalgic scent.
Brushing locks of her autumn brown hair behind her ear, a girl walked past Shinji while fiddling with her phone. He frowned, and stepped back a bit when she moved her head up and revealed her face.
Truly; the girl in front of him was a work of God himself. Her beautiful, doe-like eyes bobbed up and down as she focused on Shinjk, and the white bags carrying bottles upon bottles of beer. A small headband rested in her hair, as they swished back and forth behind her waist.
The girl's delicate features, her trembling eyelashes, and the beauty mark above her thin, rosy lips were all too familiar to him. She was donning a yellow blouse and matching skirt, furthermore the aura she had was of a rich young girl.
Mizuki Aira. Shinji Riyama's so called best friend when he was a child...yet the listless, vapid gaze she directed towards him was nothing more than a mystery for him.
A cool, bitter torrent of beer slid down and burnt his throat, as he gulped and watched Mizuki walk past him, not bothered to gaze at him more than once.
Shinji was startled, but did nothing but stare, as she left the area.
It had been years, but by the time they met, they were once again strangers.
Unfriendly nighttime
An eternal girl walks
out of memories