Chapter 60

I thought we could keep my pregnancy at least after the trimester, unfortunately my friends found out.

"Ms. Gab nag-check na kayo?" tanong ni Rhea habang nasa loob kami ng C.R.

"Ha?" pagmamaang-maangan ko, kahit alam ko na ang tinutukoy niya.

"Ibig kong sabihin kung may nabuo na kayo ni Sir Xi," paglilinaw niya.

"Ah, 'yun ba?" alangining sagot ko.

"Yun nga ma'am," pagbibigay diin niya.

"Ah, ehh.. Kasi..." I couldn't answer her straightforward.

"OMG! meron nga? Buntis ka na Ms. Gab?" Bulalas niya.

Tinanguan ko na lamang siya bilang tugon.

"Yes! Buntis na si Ms. Gab," sigaw niya habang tuwang tuwa. Kulang na lang ay magtatalon siya.

"Hwag ka ngang maingay!" saway ko sa kanya.

Mabilis naman niyang tinakpan ang bibig, pero kita pa rin ang kilig sa reaksyon niya. Little did we know asa loob lang ng isang cubicle si Ms. Eva, grinning at us at tuloy-tuloy na lumabas ng CR. Ang ultimate chismosa ng bayan ay nakasagap na naman ng ichichika. 

Since Rhea knew about it, sinabi ko na rin kay Arce at Becca. Both of them were ecstatic and happy for me. Sinabihan ko na rin si Donna sa text.

"Baby h'wag ka maging bugnutin katulad ng mommy mo," bilin ni Becca sa tiyan ko.

"Sinong bugnutin?" tanong ko, kahit alam ko naman na ako ang tinutukoy nila.

Ngunit tinawanan lamang ako nang tatlo. Kung makapagsalita sila akala mo di ko sila naririnig. 

"Basta Ms. Gab, ninang kami," sabi ni Arce.

"Pag iisipan ko," biro ko sa kanila na ikinabusangot ng mga mukha nila.

I just grinned at them menacingly.

Wala pang isang araw ay kumalat na sa buong opisina ang pagbubuntis ko, inasahan ko na yun pero nagulat pa rin ako.

"Thank you," sabi ko. Napabuntong hininga na lang ako nang ibaba ko ang telepono.

Buong araw ba naman na may tutamatawag sa akin at kinukumpirma kung buntis ako. Eventually I informed my parents about my pregnancy baka magtampo sila gaya nang sabi ni kuya. Someone entered my office, I was too exhausted to even look who was it. 

"If you're going to ask if I'm pregnant, yes I am," pauna ko agad.

"What?" gulat na sabi nito at agad na lumapit sa desk ko.

Dahilan para mapatingin ako sa kanya. Kita ko ang gulat sa mukha niya, maging ako ay nagulat nang malaman kong si Nick pala iyon. Wengya, he looked even more attractive than the last time I saw him. 

"Hala! Kelan ka pa dumating? Bakit di mo sinabing dadalaw ka?" Sunod-sunod na tanong ko.

Ilang buwan ko sin siyang di nakita, but I don't know why I feel ecstatic. I stood and immediately hugged him. 

"Gumagwapo ka ahh," pansin ko sa itsura niya.

"Matagal na akong gwapo, but you still didn't choose me," sagot niya.

"Loko ka!isusumbong kita kay Zed," banta ko, saka ko napansin na mag isa lang siya. 

"Asan nga pala si Zed?" tanong ko.

"She's busy," alanganing sagot niya sa akin.

"Tama ba narinig ko? you're really pregnant?" paniniguro niya.

"Yes! Finally," I answered with excitement.

"So when is it due?" tanong niya.

"December or January," sagot ko.

Tumango-tango siya.

"Uy Ninong ka," imporma ko sa kanya.

"Bakit pumayag ba ako?" pambabara niya.

"Ay bawal tumanggi, tatandang binata," bara ko din.

"Grabe, may sumpa?" he asked with sarcasm.

I just laughed at his defeated reaction.

"Anong ginagawa mo dito?" tanong ko sa kanya. Kanina pa kami nag uusap pero di ko pa rin alam bakit siya andito. 

"Dumadalaw, kelangan ko pa bang magpabook ng appointment?" tanong niya pabalik.

I don't know, but I feel like he needs someone to talk to.

"May problema ba?" usisa ko.

"Dumadalaw lang, ayaw mo ba?" tanong niyang muli.

Wala siyang balak sabihin sa akin kaya di ko na siya pipilitin.

...

"Have you seen Nick?" tanong ni Xi sa akin habang kumakain ako ng nachos dipped in peanut butter.

"Oo, gumwapo siya noh?" sabi ko na humihingi nang pag sang-ayon niya.

"Do I need to answer that?" kunot noong tanong niya.

"Ang pangit mo," simangot ko nang di siya sumagot.

He just chuckled.

We both know na hindi siya pangit.

...

Nick

"Anong meron? Why did you ask for me?" nagtatakang tanong ko kay  Gabby.

"Diyan ka lang," sabi niya as she grinned at me while I seat on the sofa in front of her desk.

" You're creeping me out Gabby, stop grinning," I acted nervous.

I can't say no to her.

"Do what ever you want,just stay there," she demanded.

Nagtataka ako sa kinikilos ni Gabby, okay lang kaya siya?

I scrolled through my phone, minsan ay nahuhuli kp siyang nakatitig sakin, at nginingitian ako.

It hurts, her smile, that smile.

I shrugged at the thought.

...

"I dont know, bigla na lang akong pinapatawag ni Gabby. Tapos pag dating ko sa office niya. Pauupuin niya lang ako sa harap niya, tapos ngingiti," pagkikwento ko kay Donna.

"Di kaya sa'yo naglilihi si Gabriela?" sabi ni Donna.

"Eh? Bakit sa akin?" tanong ko sa kanya.

"Aba malay ko diyan?" sagot niya.

"Hayaan mo na, ganun talaga ang buntis at least alam nating good looking ang magiging inaanak natin," pampalubag loob niya sa akin.

...

Xavier

"Naku, mas papasa pang bida si Nick sayo," I heard Gabe bashing the actor on the TV.

I just sighed. She dont only have weird cravings she also loved to see and talked about Nick. If she's not pregnant I'd really be jealous.

I just smiled at the sight of her.

I'm the luckiest guy indeed.

...

Gabe is lying on the hospital bed having an ultrasound.

"Congratulations! it's a boy," the doctor exclaimed.

I was happy to know the gender of our baby.

I smiled at Gabe, she smiled back at me but I could see a bit of sadness in her eyes.

When we arrived at home she cried.

I hurriedly came to her aide.

"Gabe what's wrong?" I asked.

"I'm supposed to be happy knowing the gender of our baby, pero di ko alam bakit nalulungkot ako," she replied.

I tried to console her to stop her crying.

"I want a little girl," she said.

The thought of having a little girl looking exactly like her. Made me happy.

"It's okay Gabe, we could make a mini you soon, "I joked.

She just raised an eyebrow.

" I'm just kidding, you can still dress him up as you wish." I retorted.

She stopped sobbing and thought about it.

"Walang bawian ha," she made sure.

I wanted take my words back now. But I just smiled at her.

"Have you thought of a name?" I changed the subject.

She started thinking.

"How about? Zelig Grant?" she asked.

"Unique, where did you get it from?" I asked her.

It's unusual for me though.

" Surfing the net I really wanted Zelig, it means blessing. Okay rin para di siya mahirapan sa pagkuha ng NBI clearance," she explained.

"It's final then," I agreed. I don't have anything in mind.

We both agreed with our baby's name.

...

Were at the department store shopping for baby clothes and  things.

" Which one do you like?" she asked as she raised her hand holding a blue and white socks.

" We can have them both," I answered.

She smiled at me and immediately put them in the cart I'm holding.  She left and looked for other things.

"Bakit ganun? Kapag kami ang pumipili puro no, sagot mo Xavier?" asked Donna.

"She's my wife, I can't say no to her." I defended.

"Why are we even here?" Nick asked.

"Because she asked you to be here," I answered while smiling.

They both rolled their eyes and just followed Gabe.

***

Everything was fine, Gabe and our baby is fine as per her last check-up.

It was raining hard and I woke when I hear Gabe's cry. With my eyes slightly open I saw her sitting at the other side of the bed. I immediately  stood and sat in front of her, facing her. 

"What's wrong babe?" I asked her.

She looked at me with those watery eyes.

"Ang sakit ng tiyan ko," she said, i feel the pain in her voice.

She's holding on her tummy. Fear crept into my spine, our baby is okay right? I want to think that way but I cant. It's our baby whose on the line. She was just okay this morning. We spend the day as we usually do. I tried to feel her forehead, she's having a fever I have no time to waste I immediately dress up. I just covered her with a blanket and carried her to the car. We were slightly wet from the rain. 

I called her OB, her brother and my parents, to inform them about the situation. Her parents are still overseas and supposedly here nextweek. My mind is clouded,She should still have a month before giving birth. 

"Xi, anong nangyayari? anong mangyayari sa baby natin?" she managed to ask.

I don't know what to say, even I don't know what's happening.

"Everything's going to be fine, just relax and take a deep breath," I tried to convince her.

She tried to be calm but I could still feel her pain.

My heart is beating so hard as I rushed them to the hospital.

...

Gabriela

Kakatulog ko pa lang ngunit agad din akong nagising sa sobrang sakit ng tiyan. Pakiramdam ko ay nilalagnat din ako. Di ko mapaliwanag ang sakit, I can't help but cry. I'm scared.

Naramdaman ko na lang ang pagbangon ni Xi mula sa kama.

"What's wrong babe?" he asked with his worried face.

"Ang sakit ng tiyan ko," 'yun lang ang nasabi ko.

Agad niya akong binuhat papunta sa sasakyan.

He's been calling on his phone but I can't remember who, my mind is in haze because of the pain. Ang bigat ng pakiramdam ko.

"Xi, anong nangyayari? anong mangyayari sa baby natin?" I asked while enduring the pain.

I'm scared, I'm afraid of what might happen.

"Everything's going to be fine, just relax and take a deep breath," sabi niya.

I tried to breathe slower, I want to calm down but the excruciating pain is unbearable.

Normal lang ba ito? 

We've been waiting to see our baby but we didn't expect it to be this early. Wala akong magawa kundi ang mapapikit sa tuwing humihilab ang tiyan ko. Para akong sinusuntok sa sikmura at di ko maintindihan di ko maipaliwanag ang sakit. 

"Just hang in there, we'll both be fine" I assured myself.

It is the longest ride of my life. Binuhat ako ni Xi papunta sa emergency room.I could see how scared, nervous and worried he is. Maging ako ay ganun ang nararamdaman. Kahit nasasaktan ay pinipilit kong h'wag nang umiyak pa, ayaw kong mag-alala si Xi. Pinagpapawisan ako nang malamig at pilit kong huminga ng maayos. 

Di pa din tumitigil malakas na ulan, medyo nabasa kaming dalawa, binuhat niya ako papunta sa Emergency room. Pinaupo muna ako ng nurse sa isang upuan doon but I chose to stand it hurts a little less that way. 

Xavier was talking to the incharge personel. I was left alone on the corner there were a few patients there it's too early but everyone is busy. I saw stretchers carrying unconscious people. I felt something warm on my legs, That's when I saw blood flowing from me. 

Out if shocked I started shouting.

"Nurse! May dugo!" I stood up and shouted at the top of my lungs.

Pakiramdam ko ay namumutla na ako. Hinahanap ng mata ko si Xi, but I can't find him. Natatakot ako para sa baby namin. Muli na naman akong naiyak I feel helpless. 

"Baby, okay ka lang naman diba?" I started talking to my baby.

Bigla na lang nanigas ang tiyan ko. I couldn't endure the pain anymore. Gusto kong umupo sa sahig dahil sa sakit,pero di ko magawa dahil maiipit ang tiyan ko, napayakap na lamang ako sa tiyan ko at napahiyaw ako. That was when someone came to my aide.

I feel weak the pain doesn't go away. Nakita ko si Xi na mabilis na humahakbang palapit sa akin.

I smiled at him, trying to say that I'm okay even if I'm not. I could see anger in his furrowed brows he was shouting,while trying to help me stand. 

I cant understand what's going on with me. Di na ako makahinga ng maayos. It feels like something bad will happen.

"I'm scared," I whispered.

Then i felt my body falling, and everything went blank. I could hear voices, but I can't see anything. I could feel someone's gripping my hand and holding it tight, alam kong si Xi iyon. 

Someone is tapping my cheeks I bet there trying to keep me awake. I force myself to open my eyes. It's a bit blurry but I could see Xi's face. He was looking at me with tears on his eyes. 

I tried to smile, my stomach is still aching.

"Don't ever close your eyes again Gabe," he said.

He was uttering words but I can't  understand them all.

...

Xavier

I was filling up the records when I noticed Gabe loosing her stance and blood on her legs. I was raising my voice at the nurses seeing my wife looking like that. If I didn't do that they will not assist us and my family will be in danger. 

I was glad to see her open her eyes as we took her to the delivery room. I tried to smile at her.

"Don't ever close your eyes again."

Seeing her loose her consciousness brought fear in me.

It felt like forever, when will this end I could see Gab trying her best giving birth to our baby. All I could do was hold her hand.

"I know could do it, your my Silang right," I tried to encourage her.

She just looked at me with those tired eyes.

The doctor kept asking her to push. She cried everytime she's trying to push.

"Konti na lang," the doctor said.

"You heared the doctor right, one more push Gabe," I asked her.

I could her breathing heavily.

The doctor said she can't have the C section since it was urgent and the anesthesiologist might night make it in time. So we must push through with the normal delivery.

I'm scared, thoughts of loosing Gabe and our baby makes me wanna go crazy. I can't lose anyone of them. If I could only the pain I will. The doctor got my attention when she pulled our baby out of Gabe. 

I  was waiting for our baby's cry but I didn't heard any.

The nurse took our baby I couldn't see what they were doing.

I was still holding Gabe's hand, my heart is beating loud i felt Nervous.

"Asan ang baby natin?" she asked.

I couldn't answer her, I looked at the doctor. She looked at me and moved her head, gesturing that our baby didn't make it.

It felt like the world shattered to pieces, I looked at Gabe she slightly closed her eyes and breathing heavily. I don't want her to see me crying.

"Nasan ang baby natin Xi, bakit wala akong narinig na iyak?" she asked, her tears began to fall.

I couldn't tell her that our baby is gone. But I know she saw it in my face.

"No!" she screamed while crying.

"Nasan siya!gusto ko siya makita," she pleaded.

Seeing her being heartbroken is the most painful thing on earth. The nurse carried the lifeless body of our baby to Gabe. 

Gab took her and put her on her chest she began to cry while hugging our baby. The tears that I tried to keep started to pour. 

The sight was painful, it was devastating. I averted eyes and looked at the ceiling trying to stop my tears. My heart is being crushed.

How are we going to start our life after this?

We patiently waited to have a baby but she was taken away immediately before we could even give him all our love.

"Sorry baby," Gabe said while crying, she said it repeatedly like a broken record.

It feels like she's loosing her mind. She's blaming herself.

"Gabe I can't lose you too," I told her.

Please, you healed me, please let our baby live, I'm begging you. Take me instead.

I could still hear Gabe's cry but I can't do anything to help her ease the pain, I feel so useless.

This is scarier than me dying of cancer.

...

Gabriela

Sa Delivery room ay pinipilit kong umire kahit pakiramdam ko ay tatakasan na ako ng hininga. Nakahinga lang ako ng maluwag nang alam kong nailabas ko na ang anak namin. 

Habol ko ang hininga ko, bahagya akong pumikit ngunit agad ring minulat ang aking mata nang mapagtanto kong wala akong narinig na iyak ng bata.

"Nasan ang baby natin Xi, bakit wala akong narinig na iyak?" tanong ko kay Xi.

Saka ko nakita ang balisang mukha ni Xi na nakatingin sa akin. Sa itsura niya ay tila nagkakutob ako na may nangyaring di maganda.

"No!" sigaw ko, di ako nanininwalang wala na ang baby namin.

"Nasan siya!gusto ko siya makita," paki usap ko.

Napahagulgol na lamang ako nang makita ko ang walang buhay naming baby. Para akong pinagsakluban ng langit at lupa. I immediately took him from the nurse and hugged her. 

Ano bang nagawa ko, may nakain ba akong mali? 

Nagpakapagod ba ako?

Bakit kelangang mangyari ito?

Naging masama ba akong tao, may naargabyado ba ako? Bakit sa amin kailangang mangyari ito.

"Sorry," paulit ulit kong bulong sa baby namin.

Di ko alam kung ilang beses ko iyong sinabi.

"Sorry baby, I love you."

I couldn't help but blame my self.

The nurse tried to take my baby away.

"Wag muna please," pagmamakaawa ko.

I looked at his face my tears began to fall heavily he was so beautiful, like a. sleeping angel.

I just wanted to sing him a song, I kissed her forehead and started  humming.

Muli nilang sinubukang kunin sa akin ang anak ko.

"No!" I screamed like a child having a tantrum. Two nurses began to hold my hand. 

"Grant gumising ka na please, maglalaro pa tayong tatlo ng daddy mo... " I cried.

Out of frustration I started screaming none sense and pushed everyone. I know Xi was trying to stop me. Naramdaman ko na lamang ang buglang pag ka antok.

I started cursing at them, they don't know how I'm feeling right now. I just cried until I lose consciousness.

...

Xavier

Seeing Gabe lose herself makes me go crazy.

We have to endure this, I just hugged her tightly until she fall asleep. She'll hate me for doing this, and it will scar her for life.

I took our baby from a nurse and cried as I hug Zelig.

Images of me playing with him started to run in my head.

I already imagined teaching him how to play basketball playing a prank on Gabe. My life dreams were shattered.

"I love you Zelig Grant," I whispered and kiss him goodbye.

Maybe it was really not for us. 

< End of Chapter sixty >

Don't forget to vote

Author's Note

I keep on changing the POV para lang may idea kayo how Xi and Gab feels. Sorry.