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My teenage high school romance comedy can't be this perverted!

A oreigaru or snafu/DxD crossover featuring our infamous loner Hikigaya Hachiman who for unknown reasons was suddenly ripped from his reality and dropped into this foreign world filled with danger in every corner. And he needs to find a a way to deal with his new overly attached and attention-seeking 'friends'. I primarily focus on fanfiction.net, when a new chapter gets released or I have some important news, I'll most likely post it there first. I'll try to make things work here as well. Also don't forget to review and stuff, I want to know your thoughts on my story! And all chapters are between 2k - 4k words.

NimtheWriter · Anime & Comics
Not enough ratings
92 Chs

Chapter 66: Deal

Beta read by n1ch, Shigiya, Solitary heart and 8kagi

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Kuoh-

As soon as the portal opened, I unhesitatingly jumped through it.

I did not worry that Ophis would send me somewhere else and trick me. She was infinitely stronger than myself, so why bother going through any kind of schemes when she could just crush me with a single-finger snap?

And we had a deal, and she seems the type to honor her deals.

As soon as I reached the other side, I saw the familiar figure of Jeanne, any anger slipped through my control when our past interaction started to resurface in my mind and when I saw both heavily injured Kiba, Akeno, and even Xenovia at the corner of my eye, it started to spike. These types of people knew to only cause more chaos whenever they went.

I called out my Prison Wings to accelerate my descent. Both of my arms were covered in shining black gauntlets allowing me to deliver a strike so strong that it created a shockwave on impact and sent the girl plummeting to the ground.

"Revenge really feels good." These words escaped my mouth as I turned my attention to the mage guy near me. "Your turn."

I did not know his identity, nor did I care to know who he was. They were both together and he stood alongside her, so he was an enemy as well. A black sphere of pure darkness magic formed in between my palm, it fired itself straight for his head.

Woosh!

To my surprise, a weird fog surrounded him before swallowing my attack and making it disappear. He didn't block it or make it disperse… it looked like he teleported it away to another area.

"No matter, you both are staying here."

He could block my attacks with a spatial field around his body. But there had to be a limit, I wanted to see if he could move around with this power still active or if he could displace the effects of space.

"[Delete Field!]"

A black dome expanded from the center of my chest, spreading over the entire area till everything and everyone inside this dimension was rendered weaker. My powers affected both my enemies and allies, all the same, Momo fell to her knees, Issei and Saji couldn't keep their Sacred Gears active and Irina used her sword as a support. Kiba and Akeno were already extremely weak and unable to fight—so my field didn't have much of an effect on him.

It seemed like the mage's spatial powers were stronger than I expected, he didn't look as weakened as the rest—just continuing to glare at me from behind the fog.

I tried to use the [Absorption Line] to no avail, the line would continuously fly whilst inside the fog, and it hit no obstacles of any sort. Eventually, it reached its limit and returned to my hand.

"So are you just going to continue hiding?" I taunted the guy, "How fitting of you. I expected nothing less than from you wannabe heroes." My words triggered the man enough for him to throw magical spells at me.

With a single wave of his hand, dozens of multicolored magic circles from different cultures, systems, and elements formed all around him like a spectrum. Even as my enemy, I acknowledged that this was a skilled mage, capable of doing such a thing with a simple wave was an impossible task for me, and probably for most magic users. I could barely cast two simultaneous attack spells let alone half a hundred without effort. And some of these spells I failed to recognise.

"You underestimated me." he said before firing a barrage of spells at me.

"I can say the same for you, did you forget that your spells aren't protected by that fog of yours?"

I stood my ground, having a sheen of blue energy surrounding my head, legs, hands, and chest. "Vajra Sacred Body."

The attacks came crashing against my body, breaking upon impact without damaging me. Though I wasn't stupid enough to just tank everything and fly at him like a juggernaut. I flew around in zigzags, taking some hits and evading others whilst throwing my own attacks. Unfortunately, just like before, most of it would disappear behind the fog. This power of his, a Sacred Gear like that was far more annoying than anything I had fought so far.

The man had a far larger Magical Energy reserve than me, at this point, I counted nearly half a thousand non-stop bombardment of spells and elemental attacks coming at me from all sides.

"Alright, I've had enough." I muttered to myself, rushing next to him and used one of my more basic tricks, "Absolute Silence."

It turned out that the spell was more effective than I expected, the mage felt disoriented at first, created holes in his defense which I capitalized on instantly, and shot a stream of jet-black and purple flames into his little fog bubble.

His opponent proved to be faster than he expected, as the even more dense clouds of fog flooded his surroundings, increasing the intensity of his space manipulation powers but he couldn't disperse all of my fire in time, as a few flames the size of my head managed to lick the skin of his hand.

"Aaargh!" Georg screamed in pain as that little touch of the cursed flames caused more damage than he must have expected. Vritra did not call a version of hell fire for nothing. Even someone like the Phenex family wouldn't mess around with flames that can burn the soul..

"Wait, stop!"

Unexpectedly, it was Jeanne who came in between us whilst still injured from the earlier fall. She was panting heavily, her face covered in dust, sweat, and a bit of blood. Still, she turned her head at me and gave me a wide smile.

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"It's been a while, Tobi… you've grown stronger since the last time we met," she said. Acting like she was talking to a long-lost friend.

'The nerve of this…'

I had so much to tell her right now. I wanted to yell at her, curse her and ignore her attempts at dispersing the fight and just go all out. Vritra was more than ready to do it, he despised the girl probably just as I did.

But I wasn't that kind of person.

I dropped my hands but not my guard, giving her a cold stare that conveyed a lot. Why was the pacifist route always so hard? It would've been so easy to just ignore the consequences and crush both of them without hesitation.

Before doing anything, I had to analyze this situation logically and not be biased. Ophis was still watching the fight, and had already confirmed them being her allies. Even though she was about to kill Jeanne to get me to help her, I declined that offer so I wasn't sure how she would react if I were to take her life—not that I would do it in the first place. If I let them go, I would definitely be in trouble in the future and hold true if I were to kill them as well. More would come and some might even target the Devils just out of spite.

"You haven't changed a bit, Jeanne." I said, my tone neutral "Hikigaya Hachiman, that's my name—not Tobi. Why keep calling me that if you obviously know it?"

"Hmm, to reminisce about old times."

"Unfortunately for you, anything related to you was nothing short of a nightmare."

That comment dimmed her smile, she was acting awkward, not knowing how to handle our reunion.

"So you're still holding on to past grudges."

"..."

Was she serious? Her tone sounded as if she was asking me why I hadn't moved on. This girl expected for me to forget or forgive a backstab so easily!?

"I do, I tried to forget about you, I really did, but it's kinda hard to forget someone like you. But you seem to have a nasty habit of bringing trouble wherever you go."

"Hey, they attacked me first!"

"Yeah, and they forced you to stay and use your Balance Breaker. Don't take me for a fool, you could have easily escaped with that walking teleporter over there, there was nothing holding you back from leaving. You just decided to stay."

"That's…" she was speechless, or rather didn't have any retort for my words.

"Why are you here?"

I already knew why she was here. Ophis, but there was a possibility they also had a second agenda. People like her and her group always have a second agenda. The place had become a hot pot lately of different powers coming inside. Dragons attract power, so for me, Issei, and Vali to be present here at all times acted as a ridiculously strong magnet for trouble. Heck, I could blame the heir's of the 72 pillars' presence here on my own bad luck. Issei most likely attacked Vali due to their mutual rivalry and that white bastard was surely responsible for Kokabiel in some way.

"Ah, we just came to get little Ophis-chan back!" To call the Infinite Dragon like that… I knew she must have had some screw loose up there.

Even if I had to reluctantly agree with her that Ophis was adorable.

"And?"

"And nothing, we really didn't have any plans to meddle with the Gremory group. The Sitri as well, they are not our main targets."

So they were targets nonetheless, it was only a matter of time before their attention would turn towards Rias and the others.

"You know, Dragon-ku—"

"—Hikigaya." I interrupted her. "I would prefer you call me formally rather than create this fake sense of closeness we may have together. And your timing couldn't have been worse, are you perhaps associated with Kokabiel?"

Was I being an asshole? No, she skewered a hole in my chest and left me to get eaten alive, so I believed that my attitude was rightfully deserved. Ophis was still sitting comfortably in the sky, tucking her knees and gazing at our talk like a drama show. Most definitely just curious about how everything was about to go down. I guess this did look like a form of entertainment to some… Scáthach would for sure love it.

…Before getting bored and starting to kick our asses.

"Right, Hikigaya. We want no trouble with you or the Devils. Our sole objective was to secure Ophis-chan and bring her back to base. I just happened to run across your Fallen girlfriend and just immediately went all berserk on me. And, Kokabiel is our enemy just as he is yours, so don't assume we would help him achieve his goals."

Their base… for what reason could these people need Ophis for? Power, duh! She just asked me to help her to remove Great Red from the Dimensional Gap and in exchange, she would grant me power. And seeing how naive she was, I was certain that these kinds of people would take advantage of her gullible nature.

"Why do you want Ophis' power? You called yourself heroes, masquerading as the real deal despite being poor imitations."

"Hey!" Georg had taken offense at my words, but held back as Jeanne gave him a harsh glare.

"That's a bit harsh, Hikigaya. We really seek to bring humanity salvation and place our species at the top. We have been violated by every other pantheon, from the narcissistic gods who rained their wrath on the innocents, to the Devils who take away those gifted with the power to use them as slaves and leave us with nothing to defend ourselves with! Don't you understand? We are humanity's only line of defense and the sword which will cut down our common enemies. You are still human, you haven't joined the Devils for a reason, right? You've seen their unjust system, I know you realize the cruel reality of our current state. We are the good guys, not them!" she shouted while pointing at the beaten Xenovia who had woken up and was doing her best to get up.

Her words weren't false, they held truth in them. Even though it was twisted to some degree, I had to agree with her to some extent. Humans were basically an all-you-can-eat buffet for the many pantheons. Earth acted like a street market where the Supernatural browsed many of us as products and selected the strongest to bring over their side—leaving us with little to defend ourselves.

But she forgot about one crucial detail.

"You talk as if humans are any better."

"Huh?"

"I agree with your words, to an extent at least. But you make everything look so black and white when in reality it is a spectrum of different colors. Even if the supernatural didn't meddle with our people, then we would've divided ourselves anyways. Different groups would come into existence, yours being a prime example. People like you would have done the same as the Devils and kept recruiting those you deem powerful and put them on the front lines to kill other humans for your own ideals. Just admit it, you don't care about humans, you only care about yourselves and no one else. You're merely using these reasons to justify your actions. Hypocrisy at its finest."

Should I do a sarcastic clap for the show?

"You don't understand what you're talking about!" Jeanne shouted, genuinely angry this time. "We don't go around killing our humans like they're some kind of pests. We haven't stolen any of these Holy! If the Supernatural kept their conflicts in their own territory rather than involving everyone, then millions of lives would have been spared."

Her rant seemed like it came from somewhere personal.

"So I guess killing me back then doesn't count." And them not stealing the Holy Sword was another lie on their part. These people just didn't find those weapons worth stealing. If it was the original Excalibur, then they would take hold of it 'for the sake of humanity'. Going so far as to create another war.

"That's different."

"I'm sure it is, Jeanne. And I bet the people behind every single major war since the last century alone had similar thoughts."

That comment seemed to shut Jean up, leaving her stunned at my words.

This time, it was Georg who spoke.

"Humph, you have obviously already been brainwashed by the Devils and Fallens with their lies. It's because of people like you that humanity found itself in such a weakened state. I don't know what Cao Cao and Jeanne see in you."

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. Arguing with someone like him would only serve as a waste of time. He was too delusional to listen.

"Probably someone smarter than you."

I needed to move this conversation along, these idiots would just continue to justify their reasons.

"Your… Hero faction is obviously up to no good. And following every fucking trend from generic villains from every single anime and form of media in all of creation. You're either trying to acquire enough power to run things your way. And to get that power, you'll either use Ophis to keep giving you these snakes. Or…" My eyes sharpened as I knew stared directly into Jeanne's eyes, waiting for any kind of reaction on her part. "... are most likely creating a way, device, ritual, or whatever to steal her powers for yourselves."

"..."

Her face didn't move a muscle, she must have realized that I was using everything under my belt to fish for some information. But her lack of response was telling enough, she focused too much on keeping a poker face and forgot to come up with a reason

She fucked with me in the past, ruining that part of my life and causing me a fair bit of trauma and depression. So I was going to let them go, but without forgetting to give them a special gift of mine.

Dark whirlpools appeared behind them, brought into existence by none other than the goth lolita.

"It's time to leave, do not forget our deal, Black Dragon King." she said in a monotone voice.

"Don't worry, we'll meet each other really soon and give you the same thing as before." Even though she always smiled with empty eyes, the tiniest of sparkle shone inside those dark voids—telling me that she was genuinely excited. "Also, I've changed my mind. Let me cash in on that favor right now."

"What, favor?" Both Georg and Jeanne did not expect such a thing to have happened between me and Ophis. I could see the worry and apprehension rise within their eyes, giving me a fair bit of joy.

"Anything."

Great.

"Ophis, from now on, I want you to stop handing out any snakes or power-ups to every person in that group of hers and anyone else associated with them. In fact, don't hand away your powers in general. Secondly, I have a big house, it has a few empty bedrooms where you can stay for a while. So in the future, if you want some better company or some to just hang out, join me instead."

Both Jeanne's and Georg's eyes widened significantly from the revelation. Distress crept into their being as what I just did was no different than trying to snatch away their main power source. My actions would definitely trigger other groups after this, they wouldn't be happy if the strongest member on their side would suddenly disappear or refuse to give them power and ally herself with their enemies.

I wasn't planning on protecting her, I couldn't with my current strength and didn't need to either—she was strong enough to do so. What she needed was basically common sense and an understanding of certain types of people. If I managed to teach all of that, then no one would be able to use her.

Georg snarled, "Who do you think you ar—"

"I accept." Ophis answered instantly.

Before either could protest, they were sucked up by the same vortex which previously kidnapped me. The dome around the began to break down, shards fell down from the sky as I saw the black night sky with the full moon on display. Huh, I didn't expect so much time to have passed, it felt like a few minutes ago when I found the exorcist duo begging for money on the road.

"There, they're finally gone."

What a day. Man, I needed some SUPER MAXX coffee to calm my nerves. Before the entire dimension disappeared, I flew to Xenovia and carefully picked her up from the debris. I had to be careful to not move her too much, so I was forced to carry her in a princess carry.

"You two really have some shitty luck to have to deal with all this after coming here… are you perhaps holding a dragon Sacred Gear? It's basically our bread and butter in my experience."

To diffuse the current atmosphere, I tried to joke with the girl.

"Not that I know of any." Xenovia said, letting me take care of her without any resistance.

"Now I owe you a favor as well… both you and Sister and Asia."

"No, it's alright. I only wanted you to ask for forgiveness and kneel before the girl. As long as you don't point that big sword of yours at her then we're even… mostly."

Before I flew off, Xenovia used her remaining good hand to grab hold of her sword as I couldn't hold it at the moment.

"What would I need to do to earn your forgiveness?" Xenovia whispered, now that the enemy was gone, she was letting the exhaustion wash over her body. Being comfortable enough to let her guard down around me for now, I guess I earned her trust somehow.

"I want you to act more true to yourself. You like helping people, right?"

I was given a weak nod.

"Then just follow your feelings from now on. Don't involve God and the Church to be the main reason for your actions. Just be a decent samaritan, just like how the Biblical God intended humans to be in the first place."

Xenovia had already closed her eyes, her head resting on my chest. "I'll… try." With those final words, she fell asleep.

"Good, that's all I ask."

And hopefully, this would lessen the impact of God's death when the news will eventually reach her ears. I just wanted her to keep her morals strong enough even after knowing that her patron deity died a long time ago.

"And since I don't know where to drop you off, you'll have to share the guestrooms with Irina till you recover."

The barrier finally broke down completely. The previously destroyed houses returned to normal and the streets were no longer empty.

Momo and others left the area they were at and now rested at the park. Issei was carrying Kiba, already sweating profusely from the exercise of running all the way here. Saji didn't have any injuries, to begin with, so he and Irina ran to this place with effort. Momo was holding Akeno, the latter's injuries were gone thanks to Issei's help but she was still unconscious.

"Is she okay?" I asked as I landed near the group, asking Irina to hold Xenovia. I came next to Akeno's side, checking for any other injuries Momo might have missed.

"Don't be a worrywart, she's fine. I should ask you that instead, you were abducted and we couldn't reach you!"

I explained my encounter with Ophis and how I wasn't in any danger from the beginning. Momo had a hard time believing how I so easily managed to convince a Dragon God to let me go with just a few words.

"Wait… OPHIS IS HERE!? I-I-I need to report Kaichou, NOW!"

As Momo was about to fly away in a panic, I grabbed hold of her collar and brought her back to the ground, and choked her with her collar. She looked at me with tears in her eyes while massaging her neck.

"Cough! Cough! What was that for!?"

"Before you go and give Sona another heart attack, I want you to know that this piece of news can wait till the Kokabiel thing gets taken care of. Ophis is not after our throats, she's just being used and will not come and destroy Kuoh for no reason. Go home, rest, take a breather and rethink that report of yours. Sona already had so much on her plate, wait a few days till things calm down before telling her that one of the strongest beings in existence came to stroll around in Kuoh followed by the appearance of those two heroes."

Momo tried to deny me at first, saying Sona would kill her if she hid such big news from her.

"Look, all I'm asking you for is a few days. You'll eventually tell her and I won't stop you. But for now, please, grant me this one favor."

She sighed.

"... Fine."

With that said, she left with both Issei and Saji—leaving me alone with Irina and Xenovia. The former stayed silent, not knowing what to say at this moment.

"Uh… thank you, again."

She gave a small bow before walking away until I stopped her.

"Where are you going?"

There was no way I was letting them go like that. Xenovia needed Asia's help to heal and Kokabiel still roamed Kuoh. He could attack them at any moment, and with Irina being the only one left, she would lose. Maybe Griselda would come back, but I wasn't taking any risks.

"Back… to our hotel room?"

"No, you're not." I picked up Akeno, and a small smile formed on her face as she somehow knew who was holding her. It was hard to forget that despite acting like a succubus most times, she was still an adorable fallen person when it mattered. I felt the urge to pinch her cheeks like I used to do in the past back when we were kids.

"W-W-What do you mean by that?"

"Stop talking, it's cold outside and you two look like swimsuit models with those outfits. Try to keep up, mom made an Italian-themed dinner, so I don't want to miss it. And you'll probably need Asia's as well."

I could already see my mom throwing a party with Irina and Xenovia around. Dad was having glass ideas about me courting every single girl in my life. I dreaded the day when Gabriel would come to my house to visit Asia or for something else. Knowing my luck, this would definitely happen in the future and I could do nothing to stop it.

"E-E-Eh, I don't know what to…"

She sure was indecisive.

"Then don't talk, stop wasting time and start walking."

Not sure what to do next, Irina relented and began following me back home. The streets we walked through were empty and dim enough for no one to notice our state. And in about an hour, we finally reached my house.

"You're finally back."

In front of the door, waiting with her arms crossed and brows furrowed was none other than Rias. Irina couldn't really wave with her hands holding Xenovia so she had to just smile awkwardly. I saw my father from the window, the man gave me an apologetic smile before walking away while sipping his coffee.

Traitor, how could he leave his son to fend for himself?

Hikigaya Skill number 66, 'Act normal despite being caught red-handed and hope for things to work out.'

"Yo,"

Nailed it!

"Don't 'yo' me, mister! Where have you been?!"

Damn, it failed!

I was getting a strange sense of Deja vu.

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The next 5 chapters of Snafu, Harry Potter and my 3 other Fate fics (Fate Coiling Sword and To love a sword having 3 chapters) are already available on my P@treon. With 4 more Broly chapters at /NimtheWriter. Also, I post monthly commissioned arts on each story, already posted a few on an Archer's Promise, Broly and Snafu.