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My teenage high school romance comedy can't be this perverted!

A oreigaru or snafu/DxD crossover featuring our infamous loner Hikigaya Hachiman who for unknown reasons was suddenly ripped from his reality and dropped into this foreign world filled with danger in every corner. And he needs to find a a way to deal with his new overly attached and attention-seeking 'friends'. I primarily focus on fanfiction.net, when a new chapter gets released or I have some important news, I'll most likely post it there first. I'll try to make things work here as well. Also don't forget to review and stuff, I want to know your thoughts on my story! And all chapters are between 2k - 4k words.

NimtheWriter · Anime & Comics
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91 Chs

Chapter 5: Decisions

Beta read by n1ch, Shigiya, Solitary heart and 8kagi.

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-Unknow Location, Hachiman POV-

I never knew what I would do in this new life.

At first, I expected to just go through the regular life cycle, going to school like I was doing currently. After I graduate from high school in a few years, I would then try getting accepted into Tokyo University, always wanted to know if it was worth it or not.

Have a regular job, not something too ambitious but successful enough that it would pay the bills, probably an office worker. Of course, I would still train my househusband skills, just in case, I did find that someone who preferred me more in the house rather than working. I choose not to have any high-reaching dream about my future. In all realities, the pursuit of dreams led to a life so painful and frustrating, that the mere thought of it was enough to merit a sigh. Hard work betrayed none, but dreams betrayed many.

Somewhere along the years, I meet that special someone, we marry, have kids then retire in a penthouse somewhere in the Maldives.

But life sure transpired to be a cruel mistress, at barely 10 years of age I had to deal with criminals capable of wielding magic of all things. Crazy, I know, that was the point where I realized that life wouldn't ever be the same again.

"Isn't that right, Bob?"

Currently, I was not awake nor was I dead for that matter, 'At least I hope so'.

The same wide empty room with two chairs facing one another in the middle. I just sat there for an unknown amount of time, lost in my wandering thoughts. At first, I panicked, I worried about Akeno and her mother, but I had no way of reaching them. I punched myself, banged my head against the floor continuously hoping to wake up from this dream. But a dream it was not, the pain was too real, yet I did not bleed. I then tried calling for help, screaming and begging yet no one answered my plea, or rather there was no being present to hear me out.

I had no option but to wait, which I did.

Didn't know how long I was in this state, with no sun or clock around, my time perception was completely screwed. Furthermore, I tried this one trick I once saw an anime protagonist use with counting every second.

'I think I stopped somewhere around five million...or was it six?'

I forgot.

After that, I just kept staring at the ceiling. Following what felt like an eternity 'which it probably was' something new happened. More accurately, someone else was present in the room beside me.

When I first saw it, I grew shocked, for it was the same being from my previous dream. A blank entity with no facial characteristics whatsoever, almost as if someone dropped a half-done mannequin, completely forgetting about adding any human features aside from its general humanoid shape.

The being sat opposite of me, it never replied to any of my comments, never did it move even the slightest bit... it was just there. Was it mocking me? Probably. Did I become so crazy that my mind created a humanoid shape persona to interact with despite nothing being there in real life? Yeah.

So I decided to call it Bob 'original I know', we talked or rather I talked to it telling Bob my life story, my embarrassing moments, my happy moments, basically everything.

The Hachiman from before would have never done this, but the current me felt that my interaction with Bob was the only thing saving me from pure insanity.

"So Bob, have any interesting stories to tell?"

"..."

It was always the same thing with Bob.

"Probably not, since you are most likely a figment of my imagination, or are you a sign of my soon to come insanity?"

"..."

I asked him random stuff.

"Well, guess we'll never know."

"..."

But no matter what I talked about.

"Are you making fun of me?"

"..."

It never responded nor reacted for that matter.

"If only my attacks didn't just go through you, I would have had a proper way to exercise."

"..." Nothing but just an inanimate untouchable statue.

"You know, I was desperate enough that I thought you were some kind of omnipotent being here to grant me overpowered protagonists powers so that I could crush all the bad guys and stuff."

"..."

But somehow...

"I thought that maybe I needed to accept the fact that I was the main character of the tragedy which is my life. Yet nothing came from all that yelling of me accepting my role sigh another embarrassing moment I need to shelve into the deepest corner of my mind."

"..."

I knew that it could understand me.

"I'm tired"

"..."

And I knew that it was the answer for me to leave this place.

"I don't know for how much longer I'll be able to stay sane..."

Drip Drip

I didn't notice the droplets of tears running down my face.

'Huh, thought I had lost the ability to cry.'

How pathetic I have become, crying over literally nothing.

"Please..."

If Komachi could see me now, she would have smothered me with hugs and compliments, calling me the best big brother.

"Please..."

If Yukinoshita were to witness the current me, she would have probably called me a weakling and told me that I was better than that.

"Please..."

Totsuka would have probably summoned the angels themselves to comfort me, bless his soul.

"Please..."

Yuigahama would have probably cried along with me as well as hugged me at the same time.

"Please..."

Akeno... she and her mother were probably all alone, being chased by those psychos, hating my guts that I abandoned her, just like her father had done so.

"Please let me go."

The sound of a creaking chair reached my ears.

I whipped my head up so hard that I could have cracked my neck in the process. That is to be expected as the most unbelievable sight ever was taking place in front of me, 'Bob is moving!'.

I held my breath, I saw him lean in front, both of its hands extending forwards, handing me something.

"A paintbrush and a sketchpad."

Was Bob truly messing with me? Why hand me those things? He or she can't be expecting me to pass the time by drawing! After everything that I had to endure in this version of hell. Having gone through many stages of depression and despair, this entity had the audacity to hand me a freaking sketchpad— 'No, I need to calm down and check everything first.'

Taking the sketchpad and the paintbrush from his/her hands, I carefully glossed over its content. There were lots of drawings of monsters, beasts of all kinds and even some people or at least humanoid creatures. Some of them weren't even creatures, as there was a drawing of the Sun, the stars, and even just a random dragon arm instead of the full beast.

Many of these were fully drawn and coloured beautifully. One of them was a super realistically drawn red-scaled western dragon with horns and spikes littered throughout its body. It looked both majestic and had an aura of domination coming off a simple drawing. Fire and brimstone surrounded the beast, I could feel the heat from it. I felt that there was nothing else I could add to this drawing to improve it, even if I wanted.

'Kinda reminds me of the dragon depicted in Wales's flag.'

Turning the page, I saw a drawing of another dragon. This one was completely white and had white hair flowing elegantly throughout its entire body. The dragon in the drawing held an aura of power and supremacy itself. It was not as intense compared to the red one, this one felt more silent and in control, but the amount of power rivaled it without a doubt.

And so I flipped through pages and pages, I saw a starry sky, a black wolf, a beautifully drawn mirror, heck I think I even saw Christ himself in some of these drawings. Some of the things depicted with him were a spear, a chalice, and a shroud. I knew enough about history to identify those relics. If I remembered correctly, the spear was used to kill him and his blood came into contact with those three relics. I don't know what they were called individually, but it didn't matter now.

It wasn't until I reached a certain page that something in me told me to stop. Compared to the other drawings that were coloured so perfectly that the image felt like it could pop out, this one was different.

There in front of me was a rough outline of a giant snake/dragon-like creature, asides from its head that was filled in, everything else was blank.

'Jörmungandr? No, this one is also a dragon and doesn't give me the feeling of it being as big as the Norse snake. A Chinese dragon? Again, no, my guts are telling me that it's something else. It wasn't Aztec or even Japanese for that matter. So what was it?'

I looked back at Bob and then at the paintbrush he passed me, "Do you want me to complete colouring some of these drawings?"

I should have expected that but he/she didn't say no, so here I go. Who cared if this turned out to be a mistake, my very existence in this reality was one to begin with. Now wasn't that an edgy thought? But I meant it seriously, if I was truly meant to be reborn here, I was never given an explanation as to why I still held my memories from before.

I started with the dragon's torso which was its entire underside body length 'do snakes even have a torso?' for some reason I already had an idea of its colours and its general appearance. Black smooth scales surrounded by a purple haze.

The more I filled in the colours, the more alive the dragon felt. It didn't even possess a fraction of the power the red one and the white one have previously shown. But for some reason it resonated with me, its presence felt both warm and safe.

I truly felt connected to it.

I had coloured in roughly forty percent of the dragon, I was never an artist, to begin with, so I had to paint every scale as diligently as possible. After I was done with one part, I went to fill in the other areas. But suddenly both the sketchpad and the paintbrush vanished from my hands, returning to Bob and I soon found myself falling through the floor!

I saw Bob waving goodbye, 'I am going to get back at you, mark my words'

"Aaaaaaaaaa" I cried out in fright from my falling only to slowly have my head hazy till I passed out completely.

{Break}

-Hachiman's Room, Hachiman POV-

"Wah!"

I woke up abruptly, looking at my surroundings. Then the lord of all headaches hit me like a freight train equipped with NASA's strongest rockets.

"Hugh, my freaking head."

I had to close my eyes for a few seconds, after feeling the pain gradually lessen, I opened my eyes and surveyed my surroundings.

'I am back in my...room?'

Trying to recall what happened before, I remember running away from those people who burned down the shrine. I had both Akeno and her mother with me, Shuri-san was heavily injured. We got unlucky when one of the pursuers spotted us and chased us down, 'while firing freaking magic arrows, I still can't believe that happened.'

I was hit, the guy was about to finish us and then...and then...I can't recall what happened next...'

That must be the reason why I had such a headache, first thing waking up.'

But seeing that I am still alive and in my room, I can safely say that we got away safely...somehow.

'I need to check up on Akeno and her mother first.'

As I prepared myself to leave my bed, I immediately found myself stuck. Carefully looking down, I saw a pair of arms encircling my stomach and the person holding me was a very naked Akeno.

I gulped, my throat suddenly dry from the sight. What? You expected a violent reaction from me, like an anime protagonist becoming overly flustered and jumping off the bed whenever he sees the slightest bit of cleavage? Hah! Guess again. But my face was indeed full-on red, and my tension did rise to infinity and beyond.

'She really doesn't look like a kid my age should.'

No, she truly does not, her body already had curves in all the right places and her breasts pressed against my side already felt bigger than before.

Fortunately, my body was still young to have any reactions, but that didn't stop my mind from wandering off down the—

'STOP!'

For some reason, my brain decided that it was a good idea to wake her up. "Akeno-chan, are you okay?"

A sensual moan escaped her lips as she stretched her body, waking up from her slumber. The move exposed everything about her, not hiding even the tiniest bit. Her eyelids slowly opened and for a brief moment I felt like they were glowing in an ominous violet light when she saw me, but in the end, it got suppressed.

"Hikima!"

"Oof!"

Her body slammed me back up to the wall, her entire naked self was pressed against me this time, Her hot breath on my neck as she spoke, 'Oh, sweet lord somebody save me!'

"Thank you! Thank you! Thankyouthankyouthankyouiloveyousomuch..." she spoke so fast at the end that I couldn't even understand her words.

"A-Akeno-chan ca-calm down. Wha-what happened when I was unconscious? How did we escape?" I asked her, trying to gain control of the situation.

And also because I was truly curious about it.

"You don't remember?" she said after calming down a bit.

"I wouldn't ask you if I did, right?"

Again, the only thing I could remember was falling unconscious and then immediately waking up in my room.

Akeno looked at me excitedly while saying, "Mother said that you saved us by awakening your sacred gear!"

Sacred what now?

"Okaaaay, um where is she by the way?"

Since she is the one who told her that, maybe she knows of what happened before. Akeno was probably too scared to remember things as they were. At the mention of her mother, Akeno grew wide-eyed and took my hands, dragging me to the door.

"She is downstairs right now, come on, let's go see her! Oh, I forgot to tell you that we also have a guest."

Guest? I wonder who it might be. It truly felt good watching her being so happy after what just happened to her, but I could not follow her for one reason.

"Akeno-chan..."

"Yes?"

"Wear some clothes."

"Oh, I didn't notice!" Please do not become an exhibitionist.

After we got ourselves prepared, we went to the living room. I wonder how my parents reacted to their son coming back home unconscious and injured, with Akeno and her mother. I hope they didn't overreact or something, and I had to come up with a believable story, there was no way they'd ever believe me when I say we got attacked by some magic-wielding bastards. I could lie about how I tried saving them from a burning shrine and while distracted by the raging flames got a piece of wood stabbed into my legs- 'Wait a minute. I DID get stabbed, then why am I able to walk properly?'

Checking the area where I got injured, a faint white spot was visible on my skin, almost like the wound had almost healed up completely.

'How is this even possible!?'

Another question for Shuri-san.

As we came down the stairs and entered the living, I came to face a stranger I never met in my life.

A foreigner, she is a pretty young girl, white skin, blue eyes, and her most distinctive feature is her long, beautiful crimson-coloured hair that reaches down to her back with a single hair strand sticking out from the top.

'Huh, she has an ahoge like me, must be tough combing your hair every day. I just don't bother.'

We just stared at each other for a bit, and she was the one who decided to break the silence first.

"Greetings, Hikigaya Hachiman-kun, I present myself as Rias Gremory, heir to the Gremory clan, archduke of the underworld. Believe it or not, I am the one responsible for your safe return to your house." She said with a polite smile.

Now that's funny, kids now present themselves as nobles from the underworld. The chuuni spirit must be strong with this one. I did not bother her with a reply, rather, I stared at her with my signature dead fish eyes look.

My thinking must have been visible enough for her to guess, "Ara? It would seem that you do not believe my words." she said, clearly amused about something.

"Sorry if my disbelief is that noticeable but an archduke demon clan from the underworld? Really? You could have at least tried better."

What next, will she say that Lucifer himself is her brother or sister?

'I believe Yukinoshita Haruno is too busy with her work to give her role as the devil any attention.'

"How about a demonstration, then?" she offered.

"A demonstration?"

What was she up to?

"If I can convince you of the fact that I am a devil and that the supernatural does exist, then will you hear me out for a bit?"

I would have heard her out anyway, but it wouldn't hurt to see what she would do next.

Flap!

What. The. Heck. Are those wings!? What situation have I got myself trapped into!? My calm face immediately broke into shock and disbelief, which was enough for Rias to know that she succeeded at convincing me.

"So, will you hear me out now?"

"Ara ara, it seems that I am a bit late."

A second voice came from the kitchen, it was Shuri-san who was carrying a tray of hot tea. I remembered something,

"Shuri-san, how are your injuries? Are you okay?" I asked worriedly.

She proceeded to pat my head lovingly and reassured me that she was fine.

"Don't worry Hachiman-kun, Gremory-san over here healed us all up with her magic. Fufufu in fact, she also taught Akeno some healing art that required skin contact." I was speechless, at least that was another mystery solved.

"I believe that I should explain more." Rias Gremory decided to continue on with her explanation.

What followed was a lengthy explanation of how all the supernatural and magic was real. How the three factions of Christianity were in a state of constant, only for there to be an uneasy truce between them right now, as the last war nearly drove them extinct. I really did not want to believe all of this, but then she went a step further and used actual magic right in front of me by conjuring a red sphere that made my instinct go haywire. The power of destruction she called it, a power unique to the Bael clan and made its way to her clan with an agreed-upon marriage and union between her mother and father.

She talked about the peerage system, an invention created by a super devil scientist or something. Made to increase their species population quickly as well as their strength. By using chest pieces 'anime as fuck' they could convert any being into a devil with all the benefits of a longer lifespan, usage of demonic magic, and increase in strength. But there was a catch, there always was one, when someone wants to become a devil they HAD to join a peerage, effectively becoming a slave to the peerages king.

The Gremory heir constantly assured us that her clan was different and how they treated every servant as family.

'Humpf like I would ever believe that.'

Even if it was true it does not change the fact that this system at its core was no different from slavery and the opinion of one good family would not change the general outlook of the entire Underworld on those new devils. There would be discrimination, people would seek to differentiate themselves from the 'less pure' not because they were true devils or not.

But because they were sentient beings who created a society and in the end, these kinds of things always lead to civil conflicts, just look at human history it was pretty similar.

This...was a bit too much to take in all at once. I prided myself on my self-control and self-awareness, but I still had limits. I was given a few minutes to digest everything. But she was not done yet for she had a request for me as well as Akeno apparently. I could already tell what she wanted from us a mile away.

"Hikigaya Hachiman-san as well as you Himejima Akeno-san, I Rias Gremory formally invite you to become members of my peerage. I swear on my family's name and honor that I will treat all of you equally and no different from my family." she held out two pieces, a queen and a pawn.

'A deal with the devil...I don't like it one bit. But she could protect us and my family, like hell I'll take any unnecessary risk but...I need to be more informed before making such an important decision. But for now...'

"I'm afraid I must decline your offer on my part for now."

Until I get to know more about everything else.

'Somehow, I know this is all Bob's faul-'

Wait a minute...who was Bob?

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The next 5 chapters of Snafu, Harry Potter and my 3 other Fate fics (Fate Coiling Sword with 3 chapters, A Fake Familiar Reborn with 3 chapters and To love a sword having 4 chapters) are already available on my P@treon. With 4 more Broly chapters at /NimtheWriter. Also, I post monthly commissioned arts on each story, already posted a few on an Archer's Promise, Broly and Snafu.

Same as always Review, share and comment! I'll be gone for a week but if you want to read till chapter 9 then go to my Fanfiction account same name.

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