The man from the park

Recently, she met a man. It was worth noting to her, since he was particularly attractive. She always thought Xiao Bai was the most beautiful person on this earth. But this asian man definitely rewrote her idea on beautiful. He was in his early twenties from her judgement. His glasses gave a sense of professionalism and sensibility. But his face. Glowing smooth skin, long eyelashes and eyes that could enter a person's heart and soul.

Her heart would grow curious as to why this attractive man would have idle time everyday to go to the park and feed the ducks. So when she dared to sit next to him, she never expected that he would quietly acknowledge her and continue on his usual pattern.

It was surprising for her, who would be questioned by adults where her parents were if the saw her alone for too long. But this man just didn't care.

She felt that this strange man was surprisingly pleasant to be around. So she would often go and sit next to him. The two silently interacted. Help him feed the ducks and eat the extra portion of food he prepared.

But this small happiness died in the last week of Autumn, when he turned to her.

"Did you want to stay over my place for the winter? It seems that there's going to be heavy snowfall. Let's go home." His mellow voice struck her heart into shock.

The man spoke with her mother tongue. She immediately stood up and backed away from him.

"If I had any strange thoughts. It would've been easier to put sleeping pills into the food than this conversation." He reasoned logically.

She couldn't even find a fault. But her instinct told her to leave. And she followed through with it. The man didn't chase after her. He simply sighed and packed his things before leaving.

Her mind kept reeling back to the untrustworthy adults she's met. Her parents, the people from the orphanage and all her adoptive parents. By the time she walked back to the abandoned warehouse, part of her was in shock. The front gates that had always been locked, now had an additional permit notice for demolition. She was truly going to become homeless this winter.

'Did you want to stay over my place for the winter?' His voice ran through her head, but she pushed it away.

'Adults can't be trusted. He's just like every other adult. Unreliable. Scheming. Evil people.' She repeated to herself.

She snuck through the hole in the back and entered the office. Without proper heating and insulation, the office would always be cold. During the warm months, it was good. But now with winter approaching, she was a bit worried.

'It seems that there's going to be heavy snowfall.' She recalled his statement but she shook her head and patted her cheeks to wake herself up.

'No! I can get through this. I just need to find another place.' She states and packed her things to search for a new place.

She walked and wandered off for half a day with no signs of places she could live in. The more she walked, the more often she would think about that man and his words. Finally her tiny legs stopped. She unknowingly walked into suburban territory. She saw a man carry his daughter on his shoulders. The girl was no bigger than four. But she happily rode on her father's shoulders whilst eating a slice of apple. The sight caused her heart to wrench in envy.

'I don't know where to go. I don't know how to live through this winter. I don't even know if I'll ever see Xiao Bai. I don't know what to do.' She depressingly thought.

When someone is in a state of despair. Their courageous front breaks apart in the form of tears. And she did. She cried. Her heart couldn't hold anymore of the bottled feelings she hid, finally unfurling it to the very surface. When she was abandoned by multiple families. When she was tortured for the entertainment of others. When she had to let go of the person she cared about the most. When she killed all those people in the church. When she suffered to find ways to survive. All those helpless feelings for the first time in her life was let out. She didn't know when she stopped crying. But both her body, mind and spirit all came to a standstill. In her quiet mind, she only had one thought.

'I'm tired.'

Tired of all the things she went through. Tired of trying to become strong for herself. Tired of living like this.

'Let's go home.' His words echoed into her heart like a drop of water in a tranquil lake.

She turned around and walked to the direction of the park.