17

Chapter 17: Jane is Scary

Notes:

So I'm still riding a relieved high since yesterday.

Chapter Text

Jane Foster was sort of calm. Did this count as her first kidnapping? First non alien kidnapping at least. She'd hit her panic button around the time she'd been hauled out of her favorite coffee shop and into a prius of all things. "You should really let me go."

"We know your boyfriend is in Asgard." The bearded goon replied and his voice was meant to be cruel. "No one is going to save you."

She wondered at stupidity sometimes. But if they wanted to be dumb, why stop them? It wasn't like they'd hurt any of her research. And Darcy did say she needed to get out of the lab more. "It's your funeral."

"Gag her." The goon driving the getaway car snapped.

Jane glared and shoved herself up against the side of the car. "Don't you dare! I have rights!"

He slapped his hand over her mouth. She bit down.

"FUCK!"

And then the world went black.

Jane woke up feeling groggy and disoriented. But she woke up. She winced at the light as she pushed herself up from the cold cement floor so that she was at least sitting. A warm hand settled on her shoulder.

"Easy Dr Foster." Ian's familiar voice whispered.

She blinked and let out a low groan, her right hand coming up to poke at what was going to be a fantastic black eye if it wasn't already one. "Ian?"

"They grabbed me on the way back from the Deli. Don't worry, Darcy will save us." Ian replied with all the faith of a man who'd seen Darcy and Tony whispering about 'personal protection weapons development' and who knew Darcy had Quake and Spiderman's personal number.

Jane was fairly nauseous, and was pretty sure she had a concussion of some fashion. "What do you know about our kidnappers?"

"I think they're AIM?" Ian threw a look at the door over his shoulder. "Nobody's been in to check on us for at least an hour."

Jane looked around the room. Windowless concrete room, single hanging bulb, plastic bucket in one corner, folding chair in another. "Well, we're going to have to plan our escape then."

"But we're scientists!" Ian protested.

She climbed to her feet, ignoring the twinges of soreness in her muscles. "We fought dark elves, I slapped Loki, I'm not sitting around for Darcy to save us from some fascist scientists who think they can kidnap us."

Ian blinked and then nodded. "Ok. What's the plan?"

"Is the bucket empty?" Jane considered there were no cameras in the cell. Whoever came in would be coming in blind. Excellent.

He shuffled over and checked. "Yeah, do you need it?" His face heated up while cringing at the thought of her having to use the bucket for it's clearly intended purpose.

Jane groaned. "Grow up Ian." She picked up the folding chair and snapped it closed. "We're going to whack our captors."

"Oh, wait I don't think the bucket will be a good weapon." Ian picked it up and practiced swinging it unenthusiastically.

She carefully stepped so that she'd be hidden by the door when it opened. "Alright, now we need to get them to open the door."

"Uh… I'm gonna have to scream a lot aren't I?" Ian's shoulders slumped. "This is the weirdest internship I've ever heard of."

Jane grinned, her teeth flashing. "Just think, three more years and you'll be Darcy."

"No offence, but I don't think any internship can create a Darcy. She was born terrifying." Ian took a deep breath and then started screaming for help and a surprisingly broad tableau of profanity.

It took two minutes for the door to open. Ian wheezed and chucked the bucket at the man coming in.

Jane swung the folding chair with all of her weight over the man's head.

He crashed to the ground in a heap that didn't so much as twitch.

Ian lunged over the heap and tackled someone in the hall.

Jane jogged after him, kicked the goon he was wrestling in the head. There was a cracking sound, hopefully it was just his jaw. No time to think about that.

Ian hopped back up to his feet. "Now what?"

"Check the one in the cell for weapons." Jane crouched down and grabbed the taser off the guard at her feet's waist. She paused as she felt the ground shaking. "Rescue party is here. Let's go meet it."

Ian loyally stepped to her back holding his own recovered taser. "Right. But shouldn't we wait for the rescue party to get to us Dr Foster?"

"I want to bust in some prius windows." Jane led them forward. "We didn't even rate a murder van."

Three twitching AIM agents handcuffed to various fixtures and they got to a stairway out of the basement. Jane led them up the stairs, and they could hear the screaming and the vibrations were getting stronger.

Ian laughed nervously. "Well we're headed in the right way."

They stopped at the door out of the stairwell. Jane shared a look with Ian. "Ready?"

"No? I really don't want to die." Ian whimpered slightly.

Jane grabbed the door handle. "Feel free to stay here, but I'm going to go help make some AIM fascists regret their life decisions." She flung the door open and stepped out shooting the first shape she spotted. A dark clad goon collapsing in a twitching pile.

"Hiya Doctor Foster!" Spiderman greeted as he went flying down the hall. He webbed the still twitching goon to the floor.

Ian yanked her out of the way of a bullet, and then the goons bursting out of the door across from them went flying. He panted. "I need you alive to graduate!"

Quake snorted as she walked past them, slightly worrying limp if you knew to look for it. "Darcy's got the get away van if you want to start heading that way."

Jane glanced at the bullet holes. "We might need to make a tactical retreat." She admitted.

"Thank Thor." Ian happily started pulling her back away from the chaos in the direction Spiderman and Quake had just left in.

Jane had to admit the destruction marking the path towards the exit was impressive. "Do you think we should test to see if Quake can recreate the vibrational frequencies of a black hole?"

"I don't believe the world is ready for that yet Doctor Foster." Ian replied.

She patted his shoulder as they stepped through what had been ceiling to floor windows about ten minutes ago. Jane sighed as she saw Darcy sitting on the trunk of the prius, Ironman leaning against the car in full suit. The two were clearly arguing..something.

Darcy popped off as soon as she spotted her. "Hey Janey!" She threw a look at the Iron Man suit. "Told you she was a terrifying tiny package of whoopass."

"I've been conned." Ironman grumbled.

Darcy ignored him carefully checking all of Jane's injuries. Her eyes turned dark. "I hope you made them hurt for this."

"Of course." Jane hugged her best friend. "Kind of surprised you weren't kicking doors in there."

Darcy huffed, the irritation wafting from her. "Iron Dad is here to make sure I stay put."

"Uh...the press is here?" Ian mumbled.

Darcy reached out and patted his cheek. "Don't worry, the whole Stark bastard thing is already half way leaked." She looked up and down Ian. "Good job protecting Janey."

"You two are ridiculous." Jane relaxed, she was safe. She could worry about the whole kidnapping bullshit in therapy tomorrow.

////

Daisy hopped up on the counter next to Wanda. "So, why didn't I know you missed food from your home?"

"I assumed you knew." Wanda looked at her friend curiously. "Doesn't everyone miss the food from their home?"

Daisy absently picked up a potato. "You have to have a home to be able to miss the food. Closest to home I've had is SHIELD and I wouldn't say my feelings towards field rations are fond." She shrugged. "So, need some help peeling those potatoes?"

"Please." Wanda reached out touching her arm. "You have a home now, with Peter, Darcy and May. I can feel your bonds with each other and that is what a home is."

Daisy slid to her feet and stepped to the sink and picked up a knife and began peeling. "Well, I suppose I should be even more sure to learn how to cook."

"You're not that bad." Wanda's eyes sparked. "Well if you don't try to just turn the heat up to make it cook faster."

She laughed. "It seemed logical at the time. And I made some perfectly edible mac and cheese last week."

"You've certainly improved." Wanda flicked her fingers, a bowl floated out of the cabinets.

Daisy watched the red lights as she peeled. "Your powers are quite beautiful you know."

"You underestimate your own." Wanda smiled. "I was reading that air vibrates at different frequencies at different temperatures?"

Daisy hummed, she'd been considering that application as well. "I've been considering attempting that. I'll need Darcy's help to get it right."

"Definitely wise, I'm not sure your idea of experimentation is in any way safe." Wanda mixed the batter of some sort she was working on.

"How's Pietro settling in?" She picked up a new potato, there was something soothing about just sharing space and a task like this.

Wanda flicked a red spark at her. "He is still recovering from being shot, unlike someone who went out into the field despite two bullet wounds."

"Hey now, those wounds were meant to disable, not harm me." Daisy winked. "But also I was careful not to strain my injuries. I still have a good arm and leg. Besides I heal slightly faster than humans."

Wanda looked at her oddly. "Do you really?"

"Not enough to be a power." Daisy felt slightly uncomfortable at the mention of her inheritance from her mother. "Instead of six to eight weeks for a bone to heal it takes four to five for me. So it's not impressive."

Wanda pointed her wooden spoon at her. "So you're definitely breaking your doctor friend's orders."

"I'm fine. I've fought in worse shape than this. I'm just glad I didn't have to go straight into combat after waking from the Framework." Daisy was deeply thankful for that.

Wanda leaned against the counter looking at her with the expression that said she was learning far more than what Daisy was telling her. "What happened in the Framework?"

"It was hell." Daisy focused completely on the vegetable in her hand. "Hydra won, and in that world I worked for them." She found herself talking then. More than she wanted to. "Darcy was dead in that world. She tased a Hydra officer who tried to arrest Jane for failing to report advancements in her work. Peter was on their watch list for dissent. But the worst...the worst part was the people who were alive because I never worked for SHIELD. Trip...he was alive, a hero."

Wanda laid a hand on her uninjured shoulder. "It wasn't real."

"That's the thing...it felt real." Daisy didn't mention the agony of being tortured in a Hydra cell. Of watching twisted versions of her team. In some ways she probably didn't have to.

"Is that why you can't sleep?" Wanda asked quietly.

Daisy looked at her friend. "My powers are fueled by pain. It makes nightmares inconvenient."

"I could help, but…" Wanda looked slightly uncomfortable, stepping back from her. "I would have to touch your mind."

Daisy caught Wanda's hand. "I can't...but it has nothing to do with you. Can you understand that?"

"I do. But it should. I have violated people's minds, your father's even." Wanda looked at the floor.

Daisy squeezed Wanda's hand. "It's not the same. But even if it was they've forgiven you."

"I'm sorry, you're the one who isn't sleeping." Wanda pulled away and went back to her batter.

Daisy began to cut the freshly peeled potatoes, she could understand needing to let something go. And she knew she wasn't the only one who regretted things they'd done. "It's not so bad, there's always caffeine. And I've been working on a program for detecting AI programs. Should work as a forewarning before another murder bot gets built. Not foolproof, but some warning hopefully."

"That would be reassuring. It's...disconcerting that Tony is not the only one who is capable of making one." Wanda scooped up the diced potato.

Daisy downed the energy drink can. She crushed it between her hands with her powers, and then chucked it into a trash can. Pulling her legs up, she folded them under her and readjusted her laptop. Her program was coming along. She ignored her exhaustion, blinking till her eyes could focus on the screen again. An hour or two of dozing before she had her shift at the gym might work. "Self propagating replication maybe?" She murmured to herself.

////

Pepper sipped her mimosa. "It's good to have female friends again."

"I imagine that's difficult when in your position." May Parker replied. And honestly the woman looked rather exhausted.

Pepper looked at her friend in concern. "What's going on?"

"Darcy and Peter went to Michigan and got into a cross city shootout. Daisy went to check something out in LA and now she's got two bullet wounds, has been beaten black and blue, she's not sleeping." May sighed. "And Darcy being announced as Tony's daughter tomorrow? It's just...it's been a lot."

Pepper leaned forward and rested against the table slightly. "In my experience these things happen in waves. But you're not the only adult they have in their corner. In fact I'm fairly sure that SHIELD team of Daisy's is ready to swoop in at a moments notice if needed. Tony was having kittens about how he just got a smile and a thank you while Phil got a hug."

"That tracks." May sipped her own mimosa. "But I don't know how to help with all this…" She waved her hand as if to encompass the whole craziness that was their world.

Pepper pushed the scone plate over. "It's the price of loving people who are going to change the world." She smiled and it felt sad. "You rarely will ever be able to help them. You will pick them up, patch their injuries, and send them back out there. Because they're the type of people who see a brick wall and decide to run at it until the brick gives way. It's why we love them. It's admirable, inspiring to watch them even."

"People will always underestimate us." Pepper continued. "Because we're not the ones who change the world. But they won't be able to change the world if they don't have a safe harbor. So we love them, support them, and we smile and wave when they go out to run into those walls."

May was misty eyed. She sniffed. "I'm sorry it's just… I promised I would take care of Peter. I have done my best and he's such a good kid. But he's fourteen. I'm supposed to protect him and instead he's protecting everyone else. And now I have Daisy? Darcy at least has common sense even if it only exists so she can ignore it. But Daisy doesn't even know how to ask for help."

"She came home to you. Twice now." Pepper smiled gently at May Parker. "I don't know Daisy, but that means a lot with Starks."

"They're kids." May picked up her mug of coffee, clearly done with mimosas.

Pepper smiled. "Believe me, they're lucky to have you. And it's probably a terrible idea, but have you considered board games?"

"Monopoly is already banned." May raised a brow. "I can't see Tony playing a boardgame."

Pepper snorted under her breath. "No, he attempted to use them as a part of seducing women a few times. He's very competitive and turns into a pouting two year old if he loses."

"No offense, but I don't understand what my sister saw in him." May spread jam across her scone.

She smiled. "None taken. He is a difficult man to love, but he can be very charismatic if he wants. That and for a chance at money or fame there will always be people."

"I don't understand, but I do." May sighed, shaking her head. "But then despite the girls's meddling I'm not interested in pursuing someone. That likely makes me a poor judge of it all."

Pepper smiled at that, she'd heard Darcy chortoling over researching the cooking class in Queens with the highest proportion of 'smoking' men. "When you are ready for dating your partner is going to be the most vetted man in New York."

"It'll certainly be something." May took a bite of her scone. "So, I haven't had an explosion in my house for two weeks?"

Pepper felt like pinching the bridge of her nose. "Well, Tony and Darcy have started working on a lower cost version of an electric car. So less explosions, but the lab looks like a wrecking yard exploded. Apparently Dr Foster's machines are all 'certified non frankenbots'."

"I'm dreading the day they start portaling around the universe. Someday I'm going to come home to find out we have a pet bilgesnipe." May just sounded resigned to her fate.

Pepper felt a shiver of fear. "Aren't those the giant Asguardian, horned, lizard monsters Thor brags about defeating?"

"Yes, yes they are. Darcy was very excited to tell Peter all about Thor's feats against them." May and Pepper shared a look known only to those forced to suffer insane scientists.

Pepper was weirdly glad that Tony hadn't had a lot of time with Thor. "Have you considered getting a cat?"

"Peter and I are allergic." May seemed to consider it. "Or well Peter used to be allergic. I'm not sure if he still is."

Pepper enjoyed a bite of her quiche. Excellent food made dealing with Starks, powers, aliens, and whatever fresh crazy was happening easier. "I miss when things made sense."

"Cheers to that." May lifted her coffee cup.

Pepper clinked her mimosa flute against the cup. "Daisy goes to your cooking classes with you doesn't she?"

May hummed an affirmative while drinking her coffee.

"And you go to your self defence classes with Darcy and Peter?" Pepper waited for May to nod curiously. "Do you do anything besides work without the kids?"

May brushed some hair behind one ear. "The life of a single mom."

"I have an art show tonight. Why don't you come with me? I can make sure a competent adult is there to babysit the kids." Pepper offered. "It would be so nice to have someone I can actually talk to at one of these things."

May considered while chewing on her scone. "You think there's an adult who won't let them trample all over them?"

"Bobbie Morse, she just started with SI." Pepper was excited to have a woman working in her office. "She's going to be part of my secretarial pool, mostly running my commitments with the labs while also being added security."

May shook her head. "Darcy being known as a Stark is one thing, but even for someone vetted like that I can't risk my kids."

"She's Hunter's wife." Pepper assured.

May stared at her for a long moment. "Hunter who was strong armed into stealing a jet and then everything in Michigan?"

"He's not the one who wears the pants. And Daisy actually is used to taking orders from her." Pepper was delighted by that fact. Anyone a Stark listened to was worth their weight in gold to SI as far as she was concerned.

May actually paused at that. "She doesn't even listen to the director of SHIELD?"

"I got the Quake stamp of approval when I hired Bobbie. It's one night and Daisy should crash. She's barely slept. And Darcy is still in the blueprint stage of a project." Pepper was used to marshalling a Stark.

May smiled finally. "Alright, I could use the night off. And maybe the kids need some time without me hovering."

"Excellent." Pepper genuinely beamed. She wasn't going to have time for a night out again for a long time once the rumors Darcy was a Stark were confirmed. It was nice to have a friend who understood. "Now how do you feel about smoked salmon?"