HURTING AND HEALING
This is the last chapter here on Web novel. If you need to contact the author please you can reach out to me on Facebook@ Ode Caroline
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There are other incidents that Might not be able to write about now, times I had fought and won, times I couldn't fight again and I gave in, times I was going to be raped by my church member in Abuja, because I had been fasting and didn't have food tobbreak the fast and I went to the mummy's house for food, but she was not home, and the guy in her house wanted to rape me because of eba and egusi soup with one meat.
How I was raped by a student of the university of Abuja over and over again because I needed a place to sleep until it my own space when I just got admission to the school.
Or how the same guy reported me to the police station for stealing his old crap laptop which I know nothing about because I got my own place and moved from his house and I stopped putting my self in valunurable position so he couldn't molest me again! Or how he went telling people that I was his girlfriend so he could justify his actions. When we both know we weren't dating and I was afraid of speaking up. Was it the times he slapped me or forced himself on me.
And another guy that came and bail me out from the police station with my own money abused me through out the night and I was crying with so much pains and he said he just loved me and wanted to be close!!
Or my ex boyfriend that moved to my house and I begged him not too but emotional blackmailed me till I let him move to my house, plus I didn't have food and he was giving me money to cook so I had to endure all the pains he inflicted on me, even when I told him that we should break up, he beats me even more. He slept with me till I couldn't move, beat me, dragged me on the floor and kicked me. My whole private part was a mess, used so many after morning pills and ended up getting pregnant again? I called to tell him and he said I was useless, insulted me and my whole family together with my precious mother. I couldn't bring myself to keep a child from such person. And I induced the pregnancy again! I was a mess, my life was in shambles, I wanted to just commit and die. But I couldn't bring myself to do it, because we have been told that if you commit suicide you will go to hell. And honestly I didn't want to go to hell after all the traumatic experience, the pains, sufferings and loneliness. I was 18 years old at this point.
Or do I talk about the guy that when I was so broke and broken in 2021 december, he came gave me money to feed for some days and ended up beating and raping me while I was praying and speaking in tongues telling God that I didn't want to go through this pains again! He said shut up and he was like nothing would deliver me from his hand. I cried I struggled.
And he called days later and apologized for hurting me and telling me it was the devil. He even offered to take me out to chicken republic for my birthday which was some days after the incident. Is that how easy it is to let go? After you beat and raped me? Forced yourself on me? And even told me that he has been wanting to sleep with me since but I kept doing shakara. Really?
And that he just wanted to show me that he could get whatever whatever he wants from me, with or without my consent. He even said I must carry his baby. As he was pounding and digging me hebwas bold and proud enough to tell me that he wanted me to be pregnant for him and nothing must happen to hisbaby.That I'm a fine girl so I must give birth to his baby! I have lots of truamatizing experience but this is the most truamatizing experience for me.
Is the aducaity to do evil for me? Icouldn't take it so as he was pounding me I was cursing him and he was beating me at the same time. After 4 to 5 day he called me said ,"it was the devil".He said I should forgive him and I told him that I have. I have sincerely forgiven everyone involved. I'm just finding my healing at this point.
And judging from all that has happened, I feel the best thing I can do for my self and other victims out there is to speak up. Because I know how much evil can thrive in secrecy. This book is one of my ways of speaking up.