Sometimes when I wake up TRIGGER WARNING: Depicts thoughts of self harm

Sometimes I wake up in the morning and wish I wasn't alone

That everything that's happened to me wasn't a reality

That everything around me was a dream encased in a shadow of illusion

Other times I wake up and am full of dread at my reality

So when I get up and look in the mirror, I cringe at what I see in return

SO, so many cuts are engraved in my skin

Or, at least it seems that way.

Only when I realize that they're fake, that I make it a reality

Because I can't resist the possibility of control.

The long awaited wish to have a destiny of my own fulfilled,

The long dead corpse inside me revived every time I pick up that cold piece of thin, sharp steel.

That pain, incredibly euphoric  and irresistible.

That euphoria became the basic requirement of my daily routine, and I slowly realized that I wasn't okay.

Yet I continue on, riddling my body with physical scars to erase the psychological ones, sometimes when I get up in the morning.

- A.E.R.