My mom quite knew what I think about this “Family Thing” but she still proceeded with this engagement and I can’t blame her; he is still the only man who can make her heart flutter even with all the things that happened. I let this thing go on because I know she wanted/will always want to keep this family together as my father has nothing to do with their split and they were forced to do the thing they didn’t want to back then. I want to believe that my father has nothing to do with their split but did he even fight for my mother?
Thoughts keeps on piling in my head that I forgot that both of them are standing beside me. My mom is still awkward having him around but she still want him around. Is that even a thing? “Ian, please look at the camera, darling” mom said. They were standing as I stayed sitting down on my seat but I feel like they like it if I stand up with them. If I take a proper picture with them then this will be the first proper photo with them since my 10th birthday. I am so preoccupied that they waited till I settled down with my decision. I am so irritated with him for some reason and that’s keeping me from taking a photo but thankfully, the camera was owned by my mom so it’s okay.
Finally, I stood in the middle and he adjusted the timer to the camera. The “click” is heard and it says “done” though I wasn’t smiling really, more like posing for the runaway. The food is served and thankfully, I didn’t have to make a secret contract for the people serving us because my father already talked to his friend for confidentiality purposes. I can’t deny how good is he with people. People just love him and his personality but I can’t just understand how he was able to face us without thinking I was never happy to see him but am I now?
The lunch was quite and I am able to eat properly with this awkward and heavy air that is going on in this room. First, mom can’t keep her eyes focused on the food she’s eating because he kept on giving mom his secret glances. I can feel the tension that is happening right now but who am I to judge people who are in love. People have their own ways of showing their love ones their side of romantic things but I don’t really understand is why some people can’t get their happiness even if they fight for it. Conclusions are made based on how you interpret your observation.
Before I left, I asked my mom to go and leave with me but she said that she needs to go to the conference for final attendance of some sort. I looked at her giving her this eyes of concern but she just assured me she’ll be fine on her own but he still didn’t left so I am thinking if I she’ll go with him or she’ll leave here alone go on with their separate ways. I left in a hurry because Eli’s calling me and she’s worried sick but I let out a big sigh and go on without mom and hug her for the last time. “Call me when you arrived in Manila, okay?” she hugged me back and told me she’ll be fine and that I should go but it seems like she’ll be fine on her own.
[End of flashback]
I look at the beautiful sight outside the plane’s window and I get this overwhelming feeling of home. I am finally looking at the sight of my birth place. Manila was my birth place and I grew up here before I moved to the US but I felt very grounded living in Manila because of my grandfather’s strict parenting. He became my father’s substitute when my father left us and I don’t know if looking at this beautiful city will make me happy or reminisce the absolute and strict life growing inside the cave my grandfather build for my mom and I. All people know about are the times I went to the US. Where I went to in high school, and how I was home schooled before I went to a proper school in California before. Yes, I started freshman even though I should have started sophomore in the states as I finished my freshman years in Manila.
I was loved by the two lovely women in my life, my grandmother and my mom. Even though life wasn’t really hard for us as we are provided with the glamorous things in life and I should have known that growing up with my grandfather was the absolute hell for me as I was very young and I, always, been wanted to grow up normal. I guess, some of things they say about are true. I became very nosy about the things I made because I am afraid I might turn like my grandfather. All I could remember in my young self was how I wanted to be away from the reality that I am my grandfather’s grandson. He sticks to the old fashion of raising men in the family. I guess, some aren’t really capable of raising their kids normal. My mom always tell me how she was raised and that I should be very thankful that I was raised this well. “Well” is not really the word I wanted to hear and how I should described my life but some aren’t really blessed with the life I had and still have at this moment.