Chapter 1

A young man was bored and depressed with his current life on earth. The expectations of his parents and the thought of living in a society like a mindless clog pressured him greatly.

He started to spend his time in fanfics and novels trying to escape reality, slowly degenerating, but he knew one day he would have to wake up and face society. He started feeling numb to everything except his little fantasy world.

The pressure cracked him one day and he suffered for it. He died by taking pills trying to ease the depression.

…

The relief I felt after death couldn't be described in words. Happiness? Sadness? Disappointment? Euphoria?

The feeling literally couldn't be described in words because my degeneration left me feeling numb.

My feelings numbed themselves so much that sometimes, I question myself if this is how you feel sadness or happiness or anger.

My emotions just got chipped away with each passing day, only finding relief in my reading.

Anyway, I died a dumb way. Taking pills just to relieve my depression and taking a walk at night to soothe myself.

Was I high…? No idea, I don't have experience with that so I can't say what that feeling was.

Now I am wondering where I will end up. Will I end up in hell or heaven? No idea, I just don't want to go to either because it sounds like a pain.

As I wait for my judgment to arrive, there arrives no judgment.

I tried to look around seeing if someone was coming for me or something. I look left, right, up, and down 'I think' but still nothing.

I get a little nervous thinking that maybe I was forsaken or something.

The days pass and I don't know what to do. I've been stuck here in this void doing nothing.

At first, I thought maybe an error happened and they will come to get me, but it seems that it wasn't the case.

Then hope reignited in me thinking that a ROB will come and reincarnate me. I waited patiently for him thinking of what wishes to pick.

Maybe being some OP character and having a harem doing fun things will be my wish. Being some top-grade magician or swordsmen would be nice.

That hope suddenly started dwindling as time passed. At last, that hope just extinguished itself in this vast void.

Now that I have all this time I started to think about my past life and the choices that were made.

I lived a good twenty years and had a loving family. They did make their mistakes, but they were still my family.

They tried to encourage me to live a better life than them, saying, if they got their chance to study then they would have had not many troubles.

Because of that, I felt pressure trying to make them proud, however as I learned more about society, I felt even more pressure.

I realized something then 'how exactly am I supposed to make a living in this forsaken society. It seems so corrupted and am I supposed to be another useless clog following under this society?'

I was horrified of this and scared that I would lose my mind trying to fit in.

So, I eventually turned to novels. They gave me comfort in them, reading about people being reincarnated and doing whatever they wanted.

I dreamt of being like one of them may be finally being something different under no one's authority and being no one's entertainment for their own pleasure at the cost of my own misery.

But that was simply a dream. Now, look where I'm at, floating aimlessly doing nothing.

Anyway, back to me brooding on my past life. Was I anything special? No, I was chubby, socially awkward, a coward, had no friends, forgetful on a lot of things, kind of ugly, and average in the rest.

Man, now that I think about it, that was sad. No friends or anything and a total introvert. But meh, I kind of liked that, to be honest.

And don't get me started on my love life. There was NONE AT ALL. I didn't mind it because that sounded like a huge pain, to be honest.

There was really no love at all. All the girls that I liked were merely out of lust. Also, I didn't find them very attractive because I always felt that their beauty was missing something.

Anyway, that is enough brooding. I kind of find it relaxing in the void. No need to think about things, no need to do things, no need to do anything.

As the days pass things start to get boring. I think I really will go insane in this type of environment.

I always thought I could handle this environment because I thought it would bring me some sort of peace and tranquility. Oh, how wrong I was on this.

It's official I'm going insane from this. What exactly am I supposed to do to keep myself sane?

I… don't… know…

After trying to think of (hahahaha) something I cou(hehehehe)ldn't find anything…

Take deep breaths on this… Breath in (everyone should just die) breath out (why am I stuck here they should all die because of this).

Dammit all, I can't do it (of course I can't I can't I can't I can't…). Screw me, just shut up (hahahahhehehehe).

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP (SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP)!!!!

Who are you you you you you (I'm yourself, you're talking to yourself…) Am I really going insane ARGH (HAHAHAHA you should see ourselves; you truly are talking to yourself? If you had a mirror, you would see our mouth moving on its own. Oh, wait you don't have a mouth HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!!!!)

My sanity was sinking lower and lower (I should get (I should get HAHAHAHA) lower…)

It was getting worse as time went on. Who knows how long it has passed?

HAHAHA (Oh my HAHAHAHA I'm on the verge of 'losing' it HAHAHAH (Oh my it seems so)).

Oh my Oh my Oh my Hi how am I doing (Oh my oh my I am fine (I am (I am fine) fine))?

HAHAHAHEHEHEHE (HAHAHAH (HAHAHAHEHEHE (HAHAHA Hello from the other side HAHAHAHA))).

Once I heard those words, I subconsciously started humming the song because I don't know the lyrics.

After that, silence, all you could hear was me humming the song. Slowly but surely my psyche that was on the verge of collapsing repaired itself slowly. I almost lost it there.