34 The Night

It's the middle of the night and you've just finished your last surgery for the day. You know that tomorrow will bring more surgeries and that you'll still need to finish up on Mark's leg. You take off your gloves and mask and wash up. You take a turn at Helena's bed to check on her progress and her vitals. Helena had a serious surgery but she doing fine and should make a full recovery.

Exhaustion overtakes your being and you just want to find a place to sleep. You can't however get the thoughts of you and Nick out of your mind and you know that Nick must be somewhere in the hospital tent. You don't want to face him. You're afraid of what he might say. You're afraid he might say that the kiss you've shared was a mistake. You know it was wrong. You know that it shouldn't have happened but you also know that nothing has ever felt so right.

You remember every scent, every second, and every feeling you've shared when you kissed him. You remembered how perfect it felt just being in his strong arms that wrapped you so tightly around your waist. You're unable to shake thoughts of him but you also don't want to face the truth, you don't want to face him.

You peek through the curtain to see the other side and you find Nick laying on the same bed as he did this morning. The bed is located right next to the opening of the tent and it will be difficult to avoid him. You walk slowly closer and see that his eyes are closed. You sigh in relief and softly make your way passed him to the opening of the door.

You're just about to leave when very disturbing thoughts shoot into your mind.

(What if someone is waiting for me in my tent and he wants to kill me? What if I walk out here and he grabs me by the waist and covers my mouth and I can't shout for help? What if-… Get a hold of yourself Kim. Nothing will happen….right?)

You look back and Nick is still asleep.

(Maybe if I just sleep here for the night? After all, I have to be close to my patients and look after them? Yes, yes that's what I'm going to do, just for tonight)

You're turning around to go back in when Nick opens his eyes.

"Uhm…Kim, is that you?"

(Dammit!)

"Yeah, yeah it's me. I'm just about to head out. Is there something you need help with?"

You keep your distance and tries to sound as professional as possible.

NICK'S POINT OF VIEW

He just woke up and saw you standing at the entrance of the tent just staring out in front of you. He watches you for a while and then he knows what you're thinking. He's seen a lot of soldiers going through the same thing and more than that, he's seen non-military personnel go through some tough times.

He also knows that he hasn't seen you for almost eleven hours and he knows that you've been in surgery all day. He's been asking nurses every hour about your whereabouts and they all gave the same answer. "She's still in surgery" He knows that you must be overtired.

"I just wanted to see how you're doing?"

"Oh, I'm fine thank you. How's your leg feeling?"

"Nita says I'm good, thank you…but are you sure you're feeling okay?"

"Of course, why wouldn't I be? Did you hear about Helena? Did the nurses tell you everything?"

KIM'S POINT OF VIEW

You make sure you don't move closer to him, all though everything inside you wants to be in his arms and kiss those unforgettable lips but you know it's wrong. You fiddle with your fingers and tries to avoid his piercing blue eyes.

"Yes, thank you, they told me everything. I also heard you did a great job. I want to thank you"

"Oh, it was nothing. I'm just doing my job"

"Which you're very good at…therefore, I would like to thank you, so thank you"

You feel a deep red blush creeping up on your cheeks and you turn yourself around, trying to hide it. He has this way of looking deep into your soul with those blue eyes and makes you feel completely naked before him. Like you can't hide anything from him.

"As I said, just doing my job but anyway, I'm happy you and Helena are doing better. I was just heading out"

As you say the words, putting Nick and Helena in the same sentence as if they belong together, a sudden feeling of bitterness pushed up in your throat. You wanted to be the one by his side. You wanted it to be Nick and Kim but it's all a fantasy, a dream that could never be unless by some miracle Nick leaves Helena.

You turn around ready to face the night alone outside. You can't very well let Nick know that your afraid of going out alone to your tent tonight and that you're afraid of every little movement you see. You've always been the strong one. It's now time to be strong for yourself.

"Kim!"

You feel such joy exploding inside yourself as Nick calls your name. You don't have to face the night now, you get to be safe for a little while longer. You turn around not showing any sign of excitement.

"Yes?"

NICK'S POINT OF VIEW

He sees you hesitate to walk away from him and he knows that you can't face the night alone, not after what happened today.

"I was just wondering if you could stay in the hospital tonight?"

"Oh?"

"Yeah, you know…for Helena? To make sure she'll be okay? I don't trust anyone but you to look after her"

KIM'S POINT OF VIEW

You want to explode with happiness. Of course, you'll stay. You'll stay for anyone at this point. You just don't want to face the night alone tonight. You wish that Nick would have wanted you to stay for him but you know that isn't possible.

"Well, I don't know….but if you really want me to stay, I guess I can do that for you? I mean, for Helena? To look after her, I mean"

"Thank you, Kim. I'll appreciate it so much"

"Okay, then let me find a place to make my own tonight and then I'll go and have another look at Helena's vitals"

"Thank you for this Kim"

NICK'S POINT OF VIEW

He watches as you walk away from him and something inside him goes with you. He knows that he's lost his heart to you. He knows no one could take your place in his heart again. He struggles to keep his eyes off your provocative lips that tease him every time you're in his presence. He then moves around to adjust the clear arousal you've caused him, trying to hide it.

It seems that you haven't only stolen his heart but his body has become a slave to you too…