BOOM!
1. this chap is only 1200 words, im sorry for that.
2. i hope you have a nice day.
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[an Amethyst!]
Sam: hey-
[no! a ruby!]
Sam: but-
[NO!...a diamond!]
Sam: LISTEN TO ME! i cant just put it in a random jewel, i need to meditate and change it into a lightsaber crystal with the help of "the force"! and im no Jedi!
you are probably wondering what is going on here, right? well, a month passed (TIMESKIP BITCHES!) and Sam finally finished his broadsaber, the only thing missing is a lighsaber crystal.
usually its a kyber crystal, as its very potent with The Force, and contrary to popular belief a kyber crystal is not the only gem that can power a lightsaber. There exists other exceptionally more rare items that can do that. The only requirement is for the item to be a crystal-like and for it to be reflective.
a good example is a "krayt dragon pearl", which is a rock that forms inside a beast knows as (you guessed it!) a "krayt dragon" and if the beast is old enough, the rock becomes reflective.
but enough about that, lets go back to Sam, and his conversation with his system, got it?
[why? its just a rock.]
Sam: just a rock- *offended star-wars fanboy noises* Listen here you little shit! a lightsaber crystal is the manifestation of a force user connection to the Force! its the most important thing for a Jedi when creating a lighsaber!
he screamed at the system, and in response the system let out a heavy sigh of frustration. It has been watching Sam for a Month! A WHOLE MONTH OF WATCHING SOMEONE PLACE DYNAMITE STICKS AND BUILDING A BROADSABER EVERYDAY WITHOUT STOPPING!
after the first week, the system had enough and told Sam every 10 minutes that the amount of dynamite that he placed was enough to make the cave collapse, but the fucker didnt stop and kept going.
*meme here*
him choosing what rock he would put in the broadsaber was the most exiting thing that happened in this month...
Sam: -ery color symbolizes what stance the user has in the force and-
oh cool, he is still on about that.
[SHUT UP!!! I HAVE BEEN WATCHING YOUR SORRY ASS SITING IN THIS CAVE FOR A MONTH! YOU WERE REINCARNATED! THIS IS A DIFFERENT WORLD! WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LIFE?! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO YOURSELF!? BLOW THIS STUPID CAVE AND GO ON AN ADVENTURE! DO S O M E T H I N G ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !]
...
...
...
Sam: but i want to see a big Boom...
[*screams with the rage of 10 billion supernovas]
Sam: i can play a game if you want?
[...]
---4 hours later---
Sam: damn, he sure kicks ass with those robot arms of his.
he said as he was playing Deus ex Mankind Divided. And he just saw a badass cutscene where Adam Jensen just kicked the shit out of 5 or more guns with the help of his cybernetic limbs.
hmm...cybernetic limbs, huh?
soon enough the crucible blade from Doom found itself in Sam right hand.
[what are you doing?]
however, Sam didnt respond, and then slowly started to lower it toward his left arm...
[Wait...NONONONONO-]
---2 seconds later---
Sam: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
screamed the boy in pain, as his left arm was on the floor.
[you absolute dumbass!]
screamed the system, completely dumbstruck that someone would do something so STUPID, as to chop his own limb!
...i think...i think we should go watch How Ozpin is doing...
---Ozpin POV---
*play "Sia - CHANDELIER"*
Ozpin: iiiim~, gonna kiiiiiiiiiiillll~! all the GRIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMM~!!!
he sang as he bonked a beowolf, crushing the creature skull.
...maybe lets check on how link is doing?
---link POV---
Link: Ughh!....AH!
he moaned in pain, making the young sheika girl, Paya, that was attending his wounds to blush madly.
Paya: M-m-m-master link! please dont make such...noises.
it was hard to focus when the boy you like is moaning beside you, after all. Her head showed her countless inappropriate scenarios. AND THEY WERE MORE LEWD THEN HOLDING HANDS BEFORE MARRIAGE!
Link: GAAHH! P-Paya please be gentle.
he said as Paya rubbed his wound a little to hard.
hearing that Paya brain officially overloaded with lewd thoughts and fainted.
Link: huh? Paya?
okay, enough of this, how about eresh? she must be doing something interesting right??
---Ereshkigal---
Emiya: do you want a refill Ereshkigal-sama?
oh yeah, forgot to mention but the chat members can visit each other.
i didnt forgot about it, i just made this shit up right now, and f*ck you if you dont like it, go suck a dick.
...
well anyway! Eresh decided to visit her fellow chat members "the king of England" and "the queen of England". She decided to visit them specifically because they it was blindly obvious that they are from the same world, but apparently in different Era's.
(A/N: this eresh is the one from fate/grand order)
Eresh: yes please~
to be honest it still weird for Shiro to see "Rin" acting so nice. Its like a weird lucid dream.
...its boring here, how about kurama? he probably is doing something fun.
---kurama POV---
Kurama: ...
oh, yeah....
he is stuck in a endless sewage room...while we are on the topic, why is naruto mindscape a sewage?
he doesnt even have anything to do here! except talking with the chat members but he just refuses to. He doesnt even started his quest yet! ughh...why is everybody so boring!
i have nothing to write here!
OKAY fuck it! time to use....MY SECRET TECHNIQUE!
TIMESKIP NO JUTSU!
---timeskip, + Sam POV---
hi...Sam is now a cyborg :v.
and he finally stopped placing TNT! Yaayyyyy!
this took his so long, that when he officially stopped the system shed tears of joy! It cried for 3 hours because of the sheer happiness it felt.
after connecting the explosives with some redstone powder from minecraft and walking a save distance away, the moment finnaly came...
Sam: 5...4....3...2...1....
....
....
....
....
....
....
Sam: 0!!!!
with a push of the button the redstone started to glow red, and a signal was sent toward the wolfskull cave.
SUDDENLY! a loud explosion was heard! in the distance, where once was a mountain, now the only thing visible was a mushroom cloud! the shockwave ripped the trees out of the ground- No scratch that, even the Ground itself was ripped off and flew into the air!
the explosion was so big that the nearby settlements were destroyed and the shockwave traveled even to Solitude! fortunately the walls were strong enough to withstand it.
seeing this Sam said only one thing.
Sam: meh, i though it would be bigger...
i think there is seriously wrong with this guy head.
[YES! finally done! freedom!]
well, the system seems happy, and nobody could blame it.
Sam: okay, so with this the only thing i have to do, to get [Link (botw)] card is go into a dungeon and get a nice item from it at the end. What Skyrim dungeon fits that description?....like 90% to be honest...
...huh, this might not be that hard to be honest.
taking out the Lynel card and summoning the beast, he mounted it and directed it toward Solitude.
Sam: okay system... i need you help.
[with what?]
Sam: how do i get a [cucco card]?
oh....oh no....