Chapter 30: Home Again

Over thr next few days we unpacked and Gavin settled in more and more. We spent our first night at my parents and then unloaded the truck the next day. It was much faster unloading with all the help. My cousins crashed in the room next to Gavin and I took the big one with the bathroom off of it. We saw Jackson a few times, but he seemed to be keeping his distance.

"Where does Dad live?" Gavin asked one morning as we ate breakfast; about a week after we settled in. "I'm not sure, but he set up a home before we left for Ireland. It's the white house by the surf shop. Two buildings down, the one with the big porch." His eyes flashed a golden color. "You mean that monster mansion?" I scrunched my eyebrows, and glanced at Gavin. "That's the one."

He went out back and I cleared the table. "This is harder then I thought." I whispered to myself as Gavin slammed the back door. My cousins came down and ate the rest of the food as I watched Gavin March towards his Father's house. Paco ran out and I laughed as he waved his hands at Gavin. I watched as Gavin shook his head and walked into Paco's. Hopefully he could find the right words to help him.

I cleaned and unpacked as the day went on and I hadn't heard from Gavin. I started to worry as the light dissappeared behind the horizon, so I sent a minslink to Gavin. "Baby you okay?" a grunt sounded back followed by a grumpy Gavin. "Fine Mom, trying to get things in order." I was definitely confused now and I went out to the beach letting the waves hit my toes. "Order? I don't understand, but know I'm here of you need me." I took a deep breath and turned hearing the shifting of sand.

I watched as Gavin and Jackson walked into view. "I know Mom." He smirked and ducked towards the house as Jackson strode towards me. I backed up a bit as he approached and Jackson spread his fingers and put his palms up. "I'm sorry. I really am. After my parents took you and I figured out what he wanted I freaked... When you escaped I was relieved and then all those rumors came up that you had killed my Grandfather." I didn't answer and Jackson ran his hands through his head. "I was mad and I thought maybe you had done it, but my wolf was angry you left him, and that made me on edge. After you rejected me he dissappeared for a while and I knew I fucked up. The pain was worse with the rejection then loosing my first mate. Everytime I thought about you..." Jackson grabbed his chest and looked down. "I knew that you wouldn't come back no matter what I said. A few weeks later my Father said he was coming here and he caged me in the house. He said going to hunt you to the ends of the Earth and my wolf flew into a rage. I broke out and attacked him and my Mom flew in between us. I ended up going into a blinding rage and when I came out of it..." Jackson's face scrunched up and I wanted to comfort him, but I also knew if I moved it would mean I was starting to forgive him.

"I woke up and I was coated in their blood, I had to take control and become Alpha. I left to rule Ireland and it was a freaking mess; sorting out all the shit they had done. I needed time to get things right. I needed you Paisley and it was painful to do it alone. I looked for you had patrols, soldiers sent out here to talk with your family. No one talked or knew where you went... I tore up your old room and Jacob asked me to leave." He nodded and turned towards the sea as he took in a deep breath.

"Paisley I spent the first five years sorting shit and your trail was cold. Seventeen years I searched and reached out to you and you gave me nothing. I was a fool for letting them take you or away my feelings for you, but I want to know if there's a way we can move foward because even after seventeen years I still love you."

As he turned my eyes grew wide and I stepped back a little bit. "Jackson I will admit I still have feelings for you and I probably always will, but that day shattered me. I was just going through motions, and staying strong for Gavin. I don't know that I could or want to go through that again. I don't want to be a Queen or a ruler. I've missed the sand, the sea. I've missed my family, I even missed you... But I can't leave again. I won't, and I'm sure Ireland needs you to be there. Once upon a time I would have moved with no hesitations, but I am not the same." He stepped closer and wrapped his arms around me. sparks flew down my body and tears ran down my face.

"Jackson." He leaned down and kissed my forehead. "I passed the title to my eldest brother. After ten years I moved back home. Back here just incase you ever came back." His grip tightened around me. "I'm not going anywhere and I am not leaving you alone ever again."

Tears ran down my cheeks harder this time as I pulled out of Jackson's arms. "I can't Jackson, I came back for Gavin. He deserves family and friends. He deserved to grow up normal and feel safe. He deserved more then what I had to offer and at seventeen he can definitely handle himself. Be there for him, I've come to terms with being alone."

I turned towards the house amd saw Gavin standing on the balcony. "Be a Dad to him." Jackson's hand ran down my arm. "How about I be a Dad and a proper mate?" I shook my head and pulled out of his hand. "I can't do that again... I went through it twice with Alpha Derek and then you. I am not ready and I don't think I will be ready again."

Jackson spun me and he pulled me to his chest. "I know. I know I fucked up, and I know you don't trust me. But give me a chance Paise." I shook my head and he released me. "I am sorry to hear about your parents. I didnt want it to end that way, but I am glad to see that you are okay." I glanced back at Jackson to see him nodding and looking back at me as if there was more to say. I backed away and rushed towards the house. As I opened the backdoor I closed it and collapsed onto the kitchen floor. Emotions roared through me. Pain, anguish, the feeling of my mate, love, comfort... All things I had lived without for almost eighteen years flooded my body. My wolf rose and I couldn't fight it back down. A howel tore through the house and Gavin ran down the stairs before I realized the hotel came from me.

"Mom? Are you okay?" I nodded and he sat in the floor pulling me in by my neck. "I'm okay Gavin." He shook his head and his heartbeat increased. "Let's go back. We can leave tonight and send for our things. We don't have to be here." I shook my head and licked his face. "This is where we belong, and I should have brought you sooner. I was just scared and wanted to keep you as safe as possible. Running away will not solve anything this time." I messaged him as he put his head down on me. "I know. I just hate seeing you torn. You've always been strong." His arms adapted around my neck again and his eyes gleamed gold. "I was strong because I had to protect you, keep you out of reach. I'd do it again over and over again to protect you. But now there are no more threats, and you are practically a man. One I am very proud of." He kissed my nose and got up off the floor.

"Let's go for a run Mom." He opened the back door and I ran out to see Gavin bounding up beside me. We took off down the beach and howled. Family started to gather and shift as we raced towards the cliff. When everyone was there we all played and jumped on each other. Even Uncle Jacob seemed to be in good spirits tonight. I got a whiff of Jackson and froze. Gavin stepped between us and bared his teeth at the large reddish brown wolf. Jackson's wolf I thought as I looked to Gavin his own wolf looking reddish brown with a small amount of black on his tail and face.

I nudged Gavin and he didn't move. He snarled again and Jackson took a step back. I nipped Gavins leg and he jumped, turning to glare at me. "Let him play, I'm sure it's been a while." Gavin turned and sat down. Uncle Jacob walked up and nodded to Jackson. "Come on everyone let's go home, I'll open the restaurant to for snacks and burgers." Everyone took off except Jackson and I. Gavin turned back and I nodded telling him I'd be okay.

"He's strong." Jackson's voice sounded thorough. I nodded and looked up to see him in his human form. He sat on a patch of grass and crossed his legs. "Can you change back and talk to me. Our mind link is kind of broken." I backed up and changed. My hair covered my breasts and I sat in front of him. "What do you want to talk about?" I said lower then I wanted it to. "Paisley I know I messed everything up, and Paco seems to think I might have a chance if I laid everything out. So I did and it didn't seem to help. So now I am stuck watching you and Gavin grow and play... I want to be apart of it." My eyes flashed and I quickly grabbed hold of my wolf. Her protective side was about to take over. "Gavin can choose for himself if he wants you to be apart of his life. He knows this."

Jackson shook his head and tossed a rock between us. "He won't ever accept help or come to me when he knows you don't accept me." I look over his shoulder to see Gavin peering throigh a bush. "Gavin you can come out now." Cursing lowly he came around and changed sitting next to Jackson and I. "Sorry." He said as he hung his head. "You are sixteen. You can absolutely have a relationship with your Dad and know I will be here for you right?" Gavin nodded and looked up at me. "I do. I just don't know how to trust someone who let that happen to you. Or why he never came for us." I nodded and looked back at Jackson.

"He didn't know about you. I rejected him the day I found out, so even if he smelt you on me he wouldn't be able to. That was my fault. I wanted to keep you safe and from your Grandparents from getting a hold on us. From the pain of possible disappointment." He nodded and looked towards Jackson. "So tomorrow?" Gavin asked and looked back at me before continuing. "Tomorrow want to do something? After I get home from school?" He asked Jackson who nodded. "Tomorrow I'll come by around three. We can do anything you want."

Gavin smiled and got up. "I'll see you tonight Mom." He leaned down and kissed my head. Then he turned to Jackson. "Take care of her and I'll see you tomorrow. And if it's not to much to ask, don't hurt her." Jackson's eyes flashed. "I would never hurt her." Gavin seemed unsure as he walked away and shifted before running off towards Jacob's.