The Comparison

Clara's POV

"Alex is breaking up with Fiona again?" I told my roommates. Florence sat upright immediately, her eyes full of hope, before she could say anything I cut her short. "Yes, I know he is going to be single again but you know Alex, in the next few days, he will be in a relationship again. I hated to think Alex would be in a relationship with one of my friends.

The hope in her eyes didn't dim. "Alex listen to you. You guys are best friends, can't you chip in some words for me? I'm sure some motivation from you will make him look in my direction."

I felt embarrassed. I was certain Florence would feel betrayed the moment she learnt about what happened between Alex and me. I tried pushing it at the back of my mind, but I could still remember the smirk on Alex's face that morning.

Florence pouted, "Please, Clara. You know I have never dated any other guy because I have always wanted someone I am attracted to. I'm attracted to Alex and you are the only one that can make it work."

Zara finally spoke after glancing between both of us for a long time, "Forget it, Florence. Alex has his eyes on just one girl, and it's not you."

Florence stood up eyeing Zara badly, "You don't know that for sure."

I was curious too. I wanted to know who Zara was talking about but I didn't want them to know I was curious. They might just know what happened between us. " Anyways, I think Alex is not good for you, Florence. He is the type that carries girls and dumps them anytime. You need a stable man."

She dropped back on her bed. "I don't care if I have to date Alex for just a week. I want to just date him." She sighed. "Is that too much for a girl to ask for?"

Zara rolled her eyes, "It's an unreasonable request. Why will you want to be in a relationship with someone when you already know the relationship won't head anywhere? It makes no sense."

She smiled. "Love doesn't have to make sense."

I was jealous of Florence. She knew how to express herself and fight for what she wanted. She knew about love too or maybe she was just delusional, but it was only Alex she had got her eyes on from the onset. I like Alex but I also hated seeing him with those girls he always dated, yet, I knew I could be nothing more than a friend to him. The only consolation prize was knowing that Alex was going to dump them soon anyways. Even if I was just a friend, I was more precious to him than any of his girlfriends were.

Florence didn't know when to give up, she turned to me again. "When are you going to visit Alex? Can I come with you, maybe he will see me as more than your friend this time."

Zara stood and pick a book from the piles in her small wall library, "I told you he has eyes for another girl. Do you want to be a second option to a guy?"

She swapped her head to Zara's direction with full force, "Will you shut up and stop being pessimistic?"

Zara mimicked locking her lips, and went back to her bed, opening her book and totally forgetting we existed. I smiled.

***

I placed my head on Chris's lap while he smiled down at me. He dropped his head down to place a peck on my lips, I smiled but I also winced when I felt a bit of a headache and a strange memory of someone placing a kiss on my lips, but I grabbed that person and made it into a full section kiss.

"Are you okay?" Chris asked with concern written on his face. I nodded. I wasn't okay, but how was I supposed to tell my boyfriend that I had a flashback about kissing someone that was not him? I sat upright and held my head. I was never drinking again in my life. The first time I got drunk cost me a lot. It almost cost me my friendship with Alex. I frowned at that.

Chris's face covered mine. "Are you sure you are okay? You look like you are going to be sick."

Maybe I was. Yet, I shook my head, "I'm fine. I think I am just having a slight headache."

Chris sat relaxed and picked up his phone back. "Did you use any drugs yet?"

I nodded. Yet, I could not help but compare him with Alex. Alex would have rushed off the chair to find me something to take. He hated it if I complained in any way regarding my health. I don't understand how my boyfriend would just relax back when I was complaining about my health.

I stood up and walked toward the kitchen to grab a bottle of water. I was drinking the water when I heard Chris laughing loud in the kitchen. I couldn't hear what he was saying, but every time he laughed out laugh, it vibrated towards the kitchen and added to my headache. I held my head when I had another flash memory; I was lying on the bed and laughing loud while pulling someone closer to me. Just as painful as the memories had hit me, I held the table for stability,

Being drunk was such a bitchy thing to do.

I walked towards our first aid and took another medicine I thought would help with the headache. I went back to the sitting room to find Chris picking up his things.

Curiously I asked, "Where are you going?"

He stared at his phone and raised it up, "The boys just called me. I need to go."

He didn't ask if I felt relieved or anything. I had left my hostel and come home with him so we could have quality time together, yet he was ditching me for his friends. I sigh. '" Okay, have fun."

He pecked my cheeks and he was out. I sat down lonely and bored. The drugs had helped a bit with the headache and I wasn't having any flashes of memories.

On reflex, I picked up my phone and called Alex. It was ringing when I remembered I was supposed to be avoiding Alex. I cut the call immediately, but a few seconds later my phone started ringing back.

Alex.

I had no excuse not to pick it up because I called him first.

"Hello," I said having no idea what else to say. It had never been awkward between us, but now everything seems awkward.

"Hello, babe. I missed your call. Hope everything is good with you."

I smiled. Alex sure knew how to make me feel at ease. "I'm good. Are you busy with work?"

I heard a low noise in the background, "Not that busy. I can surely make time for my favourite girl in the world."

I blushed knowing I was his favourite girl in the world made me feel things I couldn't explain to myself.

"How are things with Fiona? Did you tell her?"

"Not yet, but we will meet soon. How about we met first? There is something I want to show you."

I didn't see a reason to refuse. I was bored and my boyfriend was away, "Where are you?"

"Meet me at home in 30 minutes."

He hung up.

At home. I felt my cheeks heat up. Was it possible for me to walk into Alex's home and not remember what had happened between us? I had never been nervous to be in his house before. In fact, it was a second home for me, but now I felt embarrassed and nervous just being in his house.

How was I supposed to act in his house? How was I supposed to act in front of Alex?