My Teachers Suck, No Kidding

Hey dear readers.

Author here.

So, I was reading a really amazing multi-crossover Fanfiction, Logic is my sword, and got motivated to write this book.

The reason for me to write this is rather simple. I just can't get satisfied with any other multi-crossover fanfiction after reading that masterpiece, so I decided to write a fanfic of my own.

I don't know if I will continue this. If you guys want me to keep on working on this one, then I will.

Peace.

~~~

[1st Person POV]

Hello to those who have the power to read minds, because unless you have that power, you can't really hear what I'm thinking. Well, unless you aren't hearing these thoughts but rather reading them in some stupid light novel or fanfiction, which I doubt I'm a part of considering my rotten personality.

My name is Matsumura Yoshihiro. An average Japanese sixteen years old boy with nothing remarkable about him. Seriously, I'm so normal it makes me want to cry.

God, bestow me with some heavenly power so I can finally put an end to this world in your stead!

...

...

...

There is no different sensation in my body. I'm still me.

Well, yeah. Here you go, no powers for me.

"Yoshihiro-kun, are you ignoring me?"

I looked towards the source of that voice to notice a beautiful woman sitting in front of me. She had dark hair with beautiful purple eyes, and if I'm not wrong, she is going to turn almost thirty this year but is still unmarrie-

There was a gust of wind. I felt a small graze on my cheek. I looked to my side to notice that it was a fist; a fist that barely missed my face.

My face paled.

"Uhm, Sensei? Did you just try to kill me?"

"... Oh, I'm sorry. My hand slipped." She shrugged her shoulders in a nonchalant manner before muttering, "I felt you were thinking something rude about me."

"It didn't look that way at all!" I sweat dropped and pointed a finger at her face, "That's why you are still single-"

There was no wind this time, well except for the one that got knocked out of me. She didn't miss this time, it connected with my stomach and damn it hurt! What are your fists made of woman? I pity the man who is going to marry you!

Hiratsuka Shizuka, my Homeroom as well as modern Japanese teacher, is a beautiful woman with dark hair that falls over her shoulders and reaches up to her shins, with beautiful purple eyes to compliment her appearance.

She is very short-tempered, age-sensitive and touchy when it comes to her love life, so much so that she would go so far as to use violence against you if you were to call her out on being single.

My groveling form on the ground is proof enough for that.

"...W-Why sensei?..." I muttered weakly on the ground as the pain slowly started to regress, "..In class y-you said violence is never the answer..." I clutched my stomach with both my hands.

"I know what I said. Violence is not the answer, it's the question. And in this case, unfortunately for you, the answer was yes." She gave me a 'sweet' smile, "I hope you remember this the next time you speak of my marital status." I simply grunted in response to that.

As I was groveling on the ground in pain, my tormentor grabbed a cigeratte from her desk and put it in her mouth. She pulled out a lighter from her coat pocket, clicked it and lit her cigerette. She took a drag and gave me an unimpressed look.

"Look here. I know you are going through some phase, as most of you boys do at this age, I'd still advise you to take your classes seriously. Even Hikigaya is not as bad as you when it comes to troublesome kids. You guys are friends, so I hope you at least learn his philosophy of 'staying out of trouble' from him."

As the pain finally subsided, I got up from the ground, dusted myself off and gave sensei a glare. She simply shook my glare off by taking another puff from her cigerette. Upon finding her completely deviate the topic from the previous 'punching me on the stomach' one, I simply sighed languidly and replied in a bored tone.

"You got it wrong Sensei. We're not friends. Close acquaintance would be the correct word to describe our relationship." I massaged my stomach while wincing visibly, "Hikigaya-san is the only person in this school who is not troublesome to speak with." I muttered as an irritated sigh escaped my lips.

Why do people think we both are friends? This is the fifth time someone got the wrong idea since the new semester began.

We just tolerate each other as far as I know. We both are loners, so there's a sort of kinship among us. We eat at the same spot where nobody comes, so we end up having to converse a little. In the end, we both know that relationships such as friendship are nothing but a farce. It's just another part of the so called 'youth'. I want no part in that, thank you very much.

Sensei gave out a smirk after hearing my words. She twirled her fingers in the air before dramatically pointing them at my direction.

"Heh. Would you look at that? Hikigaya said the same thing when I called you two friends before. You guys are too similar for crying out loud! Welp, except for the eyes. His eyes are rotten. I guess you match that part of his eyes with your personality." Ouch. That hurt my feelings Sensei. I think I'm going to cry.

"...You know, as much as I like the prospect of having this conversation with my beautiful teacher in her office after my classes are over-"

"W-Well thank you I guess-"

"-I'd very much appreciate it if you tell me as to why you called me here." I gave sensei my signature blank stare upon finding her acting timid by my compliment. I might make fun of her for being unmarried at this age a lot, but it still confuses me as to why that is the case.

Like seriously, why the hell is this woman still single when she is this adorable? Men at her age group has no taste in women it seems. If she was ten years younger, or I was ten years older, I'd be jumping at the opportunity to marry sensei myself. Even so, I can make do with not getting beaten up by her. I hate pain.

When I was thinking these useless thoughts, sensei also got out from her stupor and cleared her throat. She massaged her forehead with her hand and looked at me with an expression as if to say 'do I really need to spit it out for you?', to which I gave her my signature no.2 shrug shoulders move. She simply sighed at that and got up from her seat while taking out a sheet from under the table.

Her expression darkened as she gestured for me to take a look at it. I knew what was to come, so I simply bowed my head in apology before even looking at it.

"I'm sorry sensei. I had no inspiration when it came down to this essay."

"Really now?" Sensei's brows furrowed, "It wasn't even that hard! You just have to look back into your time as a highschool student and write it in the paper!"

"That's exactly why it was hard..." I muttered under my breath which sensei heard, as her glare hardened after those words left my mouth.

"Ha? I remember you being some sort of talented writer. Why the hell do you find writing a simple essay hard?"

"Uh, you got it wrong sensei. I'm no talented writer, rather an aspiring writer."

"Doesn't matter. Even Hikigaya submitted his work, which was horrible by the way, but he at least submitted something! I can't understand how you can even dare to submit a BLANK, like completely blank sheet to me."

"Well, when I looked into my previous year in Highschool to find something interesting, I came up with a blank."

"...you are kidding me right?" Sensei's eyebrows twitched.

"No." I replied 'blank'ly.

It was silent for a moment. Sensei kept on staring at me with a scrutinizing gaze. After a whole minute of silence, Sensei smirked devilishly and spoke in a dark tone of voice.

"....I've decided. I'm handing your punishment over to Chihiro sensei."

"What? No!"

I cried out as my face turned pale at the prospect of having to deal with that woman.

Chihiro Sengoku, the arts teacher of my school, Sobu high, is a '29 years 15 months' old woman who, just like Hiratsuka Sensei, is single. Everyone in the school is aware of their friendship, and some people even think that the two of them are sisters. Even so, she is completely opposite to my Homeroom teacher.

Hiratsuka Sensei, despite being a bit short-tempered, is still a very responsible teacher. She cares for each and everyone of her student and tries her hardest to guide them towards the right direction. Even to a kid like me, who has no aspirations whatsoever, Sensei still does her very best to make me more indulge in the school activities. She is also very good at giving advice when it comes down to it.

Chihiro sensei on the other hand, is completely opposite.

She is an irresponsible, lazy and uncaring teacher. Her advice is usually-, no, always terrible. And the only time I see her showing even a little amount of effort is when she is trying to chase after single fathers in the Parent-teacher meeting!

Hiratsuka sensei is really sensitive when someone talks about her relationship status, it is so bad that she sometimes even ends up crying in front of her students! But she is still managable. Chihiro sensei however, is completely desperate!

That trait of her's, despite being troublesome, is still not a problem for me. The real problem is that dormitory she is in charge of.

Sakura dormitory.

Five years ago, my school was named 'Suimei high', but it changed its name to 'Subo high' due to some circumstances that I'm unaware of. This was, and it still is, a high school dedicated to advanced arts study. All students are divided into two major divisions in their second-year, Arts division and Regular division. Me being my completely unremarkable self, am a student from the Regular division.

My school also has two types of dormitory for their students, a regular dorm, where most students can live without much issue if they have come from a different state or a country.

And the other one being the Sakura dormitory.

Sakura dormitory is fairly infamous for having the strangest, most trouble-making students of Sobu high as its residents. Some people would go so far as to say that it is a mental asylum, or 'loony bin' as they like to put it

Those people would be wrong however, partially wrong to be exact, but the real reason for Sakura hall to exist is something different.

The dormitory was initially created for arts students to be able to practice their creativity without the critical eye of society. But due to the "weirdness" of its residents, Sakura dormitory is not really the 'go to place' if you want to have some peaceful time to yourself.

Now, you guys must be wondering. Why am I thinking so much useless thoughts? What is my connection to this 'oh-so-infamous' dormitory? Well, to answer your question, it's because my principal wants me to change from my regular dorm and go to that place.

The weird old man thinks I'm a genius writer, which I assure you I'm not, and wants me to change my dorm and become a resident to that mental asylum. Now that wouldn't have been much of an issue for me, I can handle a few weird dorm mates if I've to, the problem is something else.

There are the regular dormitories, where facilities such as cafeteria and matrons are available. A safe haven for someone like me who is a lazy ass and doesn't want to work.

Then there is the Sakura dormitory.

Sakurasou is different compared to the regular dorms in aspects like, one, the building is not maintained by the school, and two, that its residents do not rely on any employee of the school like the regular dorms do. Which means that everything ranging from cooking, doing the laundry, to cleaning up had to be done by the students there. To a person like me, it's hell.

That's exactly why I don't want to go there. I'm quite content with my current, easy going life.

Chihiro sensei is the supervisor of Sakura dormitory. My principal, that cunning old man, ordered her to persuade me into changing dorms to become a resident of Sakurasou. He even went as far as to promise her a raise in her salary if she were to succeed.

Because of that, she has been hounding me to become a resident of Sakura Hall for the past year! That woman is really stubborn and doesn't give a flying fuck to my disagreement with such arrangement. She just wants that raise in her paying check.

I refuse to be sent over to her for my punishment. You can even hit me if you want to Hiratsuka Sensei! Just don't send me to her!

My desperation must have been visible on my face, as my homeroom teacher's aura turned even more cruel than before. Her lips parted as a smug smile appeared on her face.

"If you don't want me to send you over to her, then you better complete this essay by tomorrow. And it better be good, not some crazy stuff like 'all must die'." Okay, I think I know who submitted that one, but I don't think it's smart to bring that up right now.

Damn you Hachiman, I feel like the reason for her being this upset with me is because of the essay you wrote. Just what did you write?!

Just as I was about to accept her terms, a voice that I so didn't want to hear at the moment, interjected from behind me making me almost jump in fright.

"Hm? What are you talking about Shizuka? Don't you think you are going too easy on him? Just send the kid over to me. I'd straighten him out."

Hearing that familiar voice from behind me, I reluctantly turned around to confirm my fear. Standing behind me was an attractive woman with reddish-brown hair and eyes. She was wearing an outfit unbefitting for someone of her profession, and was looking at me with a smirk on her face.

Lo and behold folks, you speak of the devil, and she shall appear.

I looked in between Hiratsuka Sensei and Chihiro Sensei to notice that even Hiratsuka Sensei was confused by her sudden arrival.

"Since when are you here Chihiro? No, more importantly, what do you mean by straighten him out?" Hiratsuka sensei pointed a finger at me, "You know, it's never easy with this one." My Sensei visibly winced after saying those words.

Oi oi, are you that traumatized with having to deal with me?

"You don't have to worry about it. The kid can be a handful, I know from experience." Chihiro sensei spoke as her expression darkened, "But I've thought of a way to make him motivated. We can make him move to Sak-"

"I'm not going to Sakurasou." I interrupted her with a blank stare.

"Oh, really now? I don't think you have much of a choice kiddo~" The smirk on her face didn't diminish a bit.

"I think I do." I matched the smirk on her face with one of my own, "Hiratsuka sensei is the one giving me the punishment, not you." Ha! You thought you had the upper hand woman? Think again!

Just as I expected, my favourite teacher spoke up while massaging her forehead with a tired look on her face, "Stop it, both of you. I know the two of you have some sort of beef with each other, hell I think the entire school knows about it by now, but I don't want to be a spectator to your petty squabble any longer than necessary."

"Oh, c'mon Shizuka-chan. The kid and I are just that close. You guys take our friendly go-and-forth the wrong way, that's all." Chihiro sensei waved her hand in a dismissive manner before her expression turned serious, "But believe me, I've got an offer that's going to prove beneficial for you, the both of you." She turned her gaze back to me as she said that.

I raised my eyebrow at that. Me and Chihiro Sensei have a sort of history with each other. For the past year, I had the displeasure of having to converse with this woman because of her continuous hounding, but despite my discomfort, I was still able to get to know a few things about her.

When she is making a face like that, then this woman is going to say something really worth putting your attention on. Quite unexpected from her usual personality.

Just as I was about to vocalise my confusion, Hiratsuka Sensei beat me to it as she asked

"Alright, you have my attention. What are you getting at?" Hiratsuka sensei, being friends with Chihiro sensei, also knew what that expression on her face implied. For the first time in a while, she was going to speak something sensible.

Chihiro sensei looked towards Hiratsuka Sensei and gestured for her to hand my blank sheet over to her. Hiratsuka sensei without further ado, very much obliged with her request and gave my sheet over to her. She looked over at my sheet, then at my face then back at my sheet.

....

"I-it's completely blank..." Chihiro sensei muttered with a bewildered expression on her face.

Alright, I'm not dealing with this shit.

I get it, okay? I shouldn't have submitted a blank sheet of paper as my essay. But I had no choice! Sensei was collecting the essays and I panicked. So I decided to just take a page from my notebook and submit it to her.

I thought my future self would be able to deal with it himself. I curse my past self for that decision. It has nothing to do with me!

After a few moments, Chihiro sensei got out of her stupor, then gave me a dubious look as she pointed the blank sheet of paper in my direction.

"Really? You submitted a blank essay? Even I'M not that lazy!" I really took an offence to that one.

"Right? He really is one of a kind, and not in a good way." Oof. That was a critical hit Hiratsuka Sensei.

"Tch, I'll have you know that I was planning on resubmitting it by tomorrow before you interrupted us. I think it'd be better for all of us if you get to the point already."

"... Yeah, you are right." Chihiro sensei put my 'essay' back on the table, then turned her attention back to Hiratsuka sensei, "As I've seen from Yoshihiro for the past year, the problem with the kid is his laziness. Am I correct, Shizuka Sensei?"

"Yup, you are right on the mark on that one. He is a smart one, I'll give him that. But he is really lazy. Even more lazy than you!" Both Chihiro sensei and I got offended by that remark, but decided not to dwell on it as deep inside we both know it's true.

"...I will ignore that last remark for the sake of not taking the conversation elsewhere. So as you said, he is lazy, I have a way to change that."

"Heh. Use that method on yourself then."

"...You said something kid?"

"... Nope. Nothing at all." I sensed the overwhelming sense of danger in her tone and shut up instantly.

Yup, now I know why my fellow classmates think of her as our homeroom teacher's sister.

"I thought so." She squinted her eyes at me before continuing, "So as I was saying, let the kid stay in Sakurasou for a month. Being at a dorm with no matrons or cafeteria, the kid will have to look after himself. That way, he will grow out of his laziness in no time." By the end of her sentence, she was already smirking.

"I guess you have a point, but-"

"I refuse." I cut Hiratsuka sensei with a forceful tone of voice. I glared at Chihiro sensei with unbelieving eyes. Is this woman really serious right now?

Hiratsuka sensei looked between me and Chihiro sensei with a conflicted look on her face. She wanted to say something, but a look from Chihiro Sensei stopped her on her tracks. It wasn't fear that stopped her, rather some sort of understanding between the two of them.

Chihiro sensei turned her attention back to me. She looked into my eyes with a serious expression on her face.

"I know what you are thinking kid, don't worry. It's for your own benefit too." She pointed towards the blank sheet of paper on the table before continuing, "I know you want to just write something on that paper that you don't really mean and be done with it. Is that the type of writer you want to become?"

This woman is really getting on my nerves now.

"It doesn't matter. I still don't plan on being part of your weird scheme to force me into that dorm of yours. I've no qualms with the residents, except for you, but I still don't want to be forced into doing anything."

"Hmm. That's exactly why I said it'd be beneficial to you."

"...What?"

"I guess you didn't hear what I said did you?" Her eyebrow twitched in irritation, "You only have to stay in Sakurasou for a month, after that, I'm never going to ask you to change your dorms. Hell, I'm even willing to give you full access to the art room for an entire week after your stay is over, where you can sleep for as long as you want." My eyes sparkled at the end of her sentence.

Make it two weeks and we have a deal.

"What the heck are you on about Chihiro?!"

"Oh, come now Shizuka. Let the kid be lazy for a week after an entire month." Chihiro sensei winked at her, "Besides, I doubt he would be...." I toned their conversation out as I was busy thinking what my next decision would be.

Should I really accept her offer? Let's think about the pros and cons if I were to accept moving out of regular dorms for a month.

First, let's think about the pros.

If I were to accept it, I'd be free from her pestering for the rest of my time in this school. Moreover, I'd be getting a free pass to sleep in the school art room for an entire week! That's really tempting if I'm being honest.

Even so, there are cons too.

I'd have to cook, do my own laundry, and clean up after myself. Not only that, I'd even have to deal with some eccentric dorm-mates for an entire month. I think I can deal with that. It'd be tough, but it's just a month.

How bad could it be?

I guess the pros of the situation outweigh the cons, so it should be fine to accept her offer for now.

At least, that's what I told myself.

Making up my mind, I turned my gaze back at the other occupants of the room I was currently in, to find both my teachers discussing something with each other. It seems like Chihiro sensei was able to convince Hiratsuka Sensei somehow. I cleared my throat to get their attention. It worked as both of them stared at me with curious eyes.

"...Fine. I accept." I muttered under my breath with gritted teeth. Damn it, I can't believe I'm actually doing this.

"What was that?" Hiratsuka sensei asked me with a raised eyebrow, "Wait, forget it. Listen Yoshihiro, I... guess it's your decision now. If you want to accept her offer then fine. But if you refuse, then we won't force you." She glanced at me with comforting eyes as she said that. She really is a kind teacher.

"Well, you heard her. So, what do you say kid, you in?" Chihiro sensei crossed her arms and smirked, "Just so you know, if you were to refuse my offer right now, then I'm going to keep on pestering you to move over to Sakurasou for the rest of your time in high school. I don't think we want that now, do we?" She smiled cruelly as a dark aura surrounded her figure.

She is a demon, a demon I tell you!

"I said fine. I accept your offer." Hiratsuka sensei looked surprised by my answer, whereas Chihiro sensei just smirked.

"I'll become a resident of Sakurasou."

This sucks, no kidding.

***