The Store
Owen Barlowe: Today was just like any other day. The same drag myself out of bed experience as usual. Getting dressed to go to a meaningless job were I'm severely underpaid like many other, and trudging towards my car trying to find the energy to display the mask I allow the world to see while faking a smile for my neighbors as I waved good morning. Yes, no different than any other day...
Status update
Congratulations on being our very first customer mister Barlowe. We look forward to your business in the future. Welcome to the diamond member shop.
Jumping straight out of the seat, and hitting my head against the roof of the car. "What the hell!" While rubbing the spot on my head that I hit I appeared to be staring at a game like shop icon centered on my dashboard. The strangest part was there were no items in the shop but instead skills, and furthermore the purchase price was in real currency. At the bottom of the screen there was a timer that had 6 days 23 hours and 57 minutes. So I'm assuming that would mean the shop would either disappear within that time or reset. There were 8 passive skills and 2 active ones, but the skills themselves all seemed to be rather strange. Let's see.
Active Skill: Sturdy Grip
As this skill levels you are less likely to drop heavy items, or lose face while shaking your girlfriends fathers hand when activated. Duration: 1 hour
Cooldown: 24 hours
Seriously, I don't even have a girlfriend...
Active Skill: So High Up
As this skill levels you will be able to jump slightly higher than before and maybe even dunk a basket ball or two for once you lose, but only when activated.
Duration: 1 hour
Cooldown: 24 hours
"Screw you!"
Passive Skill: Don't Touch That
As this skill levels people are less likely to touch your stuff.
.....
Passive Skill: Flexibility
As this skill levels you are more likely to become a pretzel.
What the hell...
Passive Skill: Concentration
As this skill levels you might start understanding more than usual.
Does this thing plan to just insult me the whole time?
Passive Skill: Sudden Change
As this skill levels you might be able to change your clothes faster without falling teehee.
"Teehee? This thing is really insulting me on purpose!"
Passive Skill: God's Eye
"Oh, this looks promising."
Passive Skill: God's Eye
As this skill levels you will find it hard to look at unattractive people, or in the mirror.
I guess that means I'm unattrative...
Passive Skill: Harem Maker
"I'm not even going to fall for it."
Passive Skill: Harem Maker
As this skill levels up you are more likely to be a better wingman, but also far more likely to go home alone.
"What the hell! Well thank you for making it possible to be even harder to find a girlfriend..."
Passive Skill: Goblin Makeover
As this skill levels you may become less hideous.
It's actually pretty useful, but why am I not very happy about it...
Passive Skill: Struggle
As this skill levels you will keep trying harder,
but there will also always be an issue to arise. Good luck.
I absolutely hate this store...