Ch. 8 - Airi's experience.

After we talk about my experience for being too nice back in middle school, she told me to stop cause she doesn't want me to feel sad when I think about it.

"Its fine."

I told her, I didn't want another person to worry and get caught up in my misery again. I only told her bits of my story, its only the surface and she's terrified of it already, I haven't even mentioned the physical pain they cause me. But she doesn't need to know that.

"Are you sure? they're so mean! hearing it just makes me wanna punch them."

She said.

Akagi : "I know, but its kinda my fault for being too weak and unable to find the resolve within my self to say No and fight for myself."

Airi : "No its not your fault, you were being kind to them and they just used you."

Akagi : "It wasn't kindness Airi, its weakness. Being too kind will always get you into trouble and manipulation."

"Thats why you better watch out, remember to stand up for yourself and let them know that they should respect you. If they started trash talking you or complain due to your reasonable change of behavior, Dont get swayed by what others think, just be yourself."

I added, I tend to tell everyone what I experience about it so they will realize something one day.

Airi : "I know it would always be like that, but I just can't help myself, I always wanna be seen as a good person, cause I think no one can ever do horrible things to a kind person."

Akagi : "You continue to believe in a lie, Airi. Kind people get exploited for being nice, people these days took advantage of everyone they can for their own interests."

Airi : "I know, but I dont wanna be alone for the rest of my life."

Akagi : "Im not saying that you shouldn't be friend other people, but im warning you to be careful who you trust and make you realize when its time to stop being nice when someone is clearly using you."

Airi : "I don't know how cause I dont I ever get to that point."

Akagi : "Why don't you tell me what you have experienced? Its your turn now."

Airi : "Umm..okay, but im not good at explaining though."

Akagi : "That's okay, as long as you can say it."

Airi : "Aside from them asking so much of my homework and other things when it comes to studying, I dont really get the some type of exploitation you experience."

Akagi : "Of course not, you girls always have it easy, but I know some boys tease you and some girls too."

Airi : "Well your right, they tease and make fun of what I wear and how I look. But not anything so serious. "

Akagi : "In what way they tease or make fun of how you look?"

Airi : "Well some boys keep bothering me, maybe cause they like me or something. A few boys confess to me but I rejected them."

*Laughs* What a typical moment, I miss seing my classmates do that back in Highschool.

"When did it happen?" I ask.

Airi : "It happens alot back there in my school in Malaysia. Boys would confess to me but I just said, "Your too good for me, sorry." I reject them immediately and avoid them afterwards."

Akagi : "Wow, how do they react?"

Airi : "Well they feel sad and sometimes beg me, but im not interested so I won't change my mind and just completely avoid them."

Akagi : "That's kinda cruel."

Airi : "I know, but I dont regret it."

Akagi : "Well how about in your university here?"

Airi : "Not really, people avoid me and its rare they approach me for something else other than my homework."

Akagi : "I see, well are the boys who confess to you good looking or talented? Just asking."

Airi : "Yes."

Akagi : "I see, but why did you reject them though? do they have something you didn't like?"

Airi : "Well no, its because they're all playboys and something about my father did."

Akagi : "Hmm? why?" what did your father do to you?!"

Horrible, horrible types of images rush through my mind, I feel disgusted and repulsed by what she said. How can a father do that to her own child? What kind of demon he let himself get possessed by? I feel sorry for her, I dont think I wanna continue this topic.

Airi : "My father-

Akagi : "Hold up! let's not talk about it, im sure its traumatizing for you."

Airi : "Well, yes I kinda feel sad and powerless that time."

Akagi : "Maybe that's why your parents separated, cause of what he did to you. I am so sorry about what you've been through."

Airi : "Huh? what are you talking about? They separate cause my father cheated on my mother."

Akagi : "Oh, well I got a little confused about it, I just thought you were...nevermind."

I facepalm as I got the wrong assumption, I seriously thought that she was abused and mistreated by her own father and its seems I have been such a filthy degenerate and my mind is so corrupted. Its embarrassing but funny at the same time, I let out a small giggle and got back to chatting.

Airi : "Seriously what did you thought my father did to me?"

She message me with a confuse emoji.

Akagi : "Nothing, I just went a little extreme about your father's reason to leave your mother. But its kinda close to what you said."

Airi : "Oh, I see."

Akagi : "And you said all boys back then are playboys, what do you exactly mean by that?"

Airi : "Cause they all constantly cheated on the girls they confess to, and they didn't care about they're girlfriends feelings."

Akagi : "Woah- really?"

Airi : "Yes, and they keep making girls cry."

Akagi : "Did this happen in elementary or Highschool?"

Airi : "Both, and its enraging I just wanna punch them all in the face! thats why I keep turning them down."

What the h*ck is happening these days?

Akagi : "That's kinda messed up."

Its kinda messed up that its constantly happening and the ones who initiates it are all teens and kids that aren't supposed to be in a relationship in the first place.

Airi : "Yeah that's why I hate boys."

Thats a natural reaction for someone who witnessed it, but I can't help but kinda feel uneasy knowing im also a guy. However, I kinda understand it, but in my case it was my mother who did the cheating, so im more negative on the girls side.

Akagi : "I understand how you feel, my mother did the same to me."

Airi : "Really? may I ask what did your mother do to you?"

Akagi : "When my father left my mother, although he didn't entirely cut his ties with her, he still sends us money and communicates to us. But my mother lied to me about him, she never talks about him and whenever I ask she just says "He left us for the good of himself" even though its not entirely true, so my mother cheated on my father with 4 different guys and lied to me about it."

"I only learned of my mother's affairs when my grandparents took me in and they told me the truth. And when my father finally took me back he filed a divorce and won. He hates my mother but he never abandoned me."

Airi : "Woah, that's rough, im glad you learned the truth about your mother."

Akagi : "Yeah, so just like you, I despise girls cause I think they're all lying gold-diggers and they always make themselves look like the good person. But I dont think I hate them as much as you do."

Airi : "Just because of what your mother think you developed thoughts like that. But same here, I understand you."

There's actually more reason to why I think like that, but I think its the only thing I would be open about, I can barely escape its dread and it will be a real struggle once I talk about it. The pain still stings in my heart.

Airi : "But you know, I think your different than the other boys."

Upon seeing this, my mind was quickly over taken to wonder what she meant or what she could say next. I forget why I was left like this and I got curious to what she's gonna say next.

Airi : "I think your kind and sweet, I feel more comfortable talking to you and you always understand how I feel, so I think your just the same as me. I want to stay by your side."

Akagi : "Is that why you marry me in the game?"

I finally manage to answer that question. I thrust my hands upward in the air and shouts "Perfect timing!" one of my biggest questions are now being answered, my curiosity will finally be satisfied.

"Yes, when I first met you, my feelings told me to marry you, cause I get a sense that your different and I shouldn't let you slip my grasps. I was unsure as well but I just followed my feelings and it was worth the shot."

Wow, that's kinda sweet. However, I dont think I have the same romantic feelings for her, I dont wanna be in any sort of relationship for now. Im feeling so troubled.

Akagi : "So just because you felt that you shouldn't let me go?"

Airi : "Yes, due to my parents, I have a some sort of abandonment issue's and I feel depressed almost all the time. However, you make me forget all of those and I actually feel happy when im with you."

Akagi : "Im touch by your words, even though you haven't seen my face or met me in real life you already felt like that."

Airi : "Yes, and im glad you say that, cause im dying to meet you in real life. Do you want to see my face?"

This is a bit hard for me to answer, I dont feel the same romantic feelings for her, but if I stay with her she will fall in love even more, but I am also scared that she might shatter if I broke up with her. What did I get myself into? I think its better to keep with the pace for now.

"Maybe not now, Airi. We should wait for the best moment for this."

I simply replied, my mind is so occupied right now I can't think of a much better excuse or pretty much anything else.

"Okay, your right, if we really wanna know each other, we should take it slowly~ And be sure to show me your face as well!"

So it will be an exchange then, I just have to make sure not to initiate it.

"Sure thing love! we'll have to take it slow."

I think its best just to keep with the current pace, but I shouldn't make it too long otherwise she'll be hurt so much. We played for a little bit that night, however I was acting a bit awkward and couldn't concentrate, so she ended up being the one in charge and I just play along with her.

After that, I keep thinking about it and I couldn't fall alseep as I keep finding ways to get out of it, I dont wanna broke up with right in her face immediately. I never wanna hurt anyone's feelings since I know how it feels. In order to get out of this stalemate, my thoughts switch to the catering event that will happen in the next 2 weeks, where I can serve students almost my age and the image of me doing it makes me both nervous and excited.