Instinct 1

The atmosphere was tense before, but now I am kind of enjoying myself! I don't know why, but seeing him being mad with what I said makes me really happy and nostalgic. My legs are still numb and I got used to the idea that they were going to be back to normal with time, and after taking the medicine I feel a little more energetic than before, but can't do much at this point except to look outside the big windows. "Isn't the moon beautiful tonight?" 'The darkness brings back so many sad memories from years ago. Then again, it must have made me a little unstable and scared of it.' But at least I was not alone to talk by myself this time, and his voice become warm while looking at it with me "Yes, it is!" which makes my stay here a little more bearable, but I started to sound more pitiful unintentionally.

From the start, it was difficult to talk to him without knowing where the conversation was leading, and to be honest every time I tried to say something he couldn't hide his emotions properly. At first it was strange because it felt like he could read my every move and know what I really meant by it, but now I got used to it somehow and pretend like it is a normal reaction.

"I am so sorry your highness! I guess I want a little overboard and might have sounded rude in some way!"

'Despite me not knowing why he was mad, it was not like I was referring to him or someone he knew when I said that, but it was better to say sorry before things get worst. I made a mistake before and I was quite lucky that he didn't get mad at me, so I won't push my luck twice.'

"Why are you saying me this?" sad and yet confident, I couldn't get my eyes off him. He looked just like a little puppy that was about to cry, but at the same time it was like he was demanding me an explanation, 'This is so weird, but also cute!'. I looked at him in disbelief, but if I could I would have slapped myself at that moment, because it was definitely weird that I couldn't read him at all, but still get captivated by his face.

"Is not like I am mad at you or anything, but the way that you treat and refer to yourself is so wrong and twisted that it makes me think how have you been living with these thoughts all these years. Have you been suffering by your own mind? Do you despise yourself so much that now it is normal for you to bring yourself down because of a dumb reason like being different? Did you…"

"Your highness, I swear it was just a joke…you know a joke, like telling something funny. Haha, don't take it seriously please!"

I tried to calm him down before he continued to make other assumptions and confuse me even more. Hearing him with such a sad expression turning into a whole new one like he was about to lose it, was getting a bit scary, even more, because he was telling facts. But since I cut him off, it looked like he came to his sense "You better say sorry to yourself and not me then, because as I said…I am not mad at you!"

'Myself huh?! That would be difficult because I don't know where to start. When was the first time I started to have these thoughts? The first time I noticed that I could not feet in…I didn't belong among the others…all alone!? Darkness…despicable pain coming from something I couldn't see, feel or even touch. I got used to comparing myself with the worst and most evil creatures I could think of, because all people could see in me was only that…a monster. And even after I started to get a grip on their hate, I still don't understand their logic.

Those who are weak fear me…and the others who are inside the elite circle don't bet an eye because of their pride. 'What makes them think they are superior compared to them. Are they so confident in the power they possess that it has made them bold enough to challenge mine? Which one is it, their title...the money…their value as a whole… what makes them not scared of me? If I can't intimidate them or make at least a small number of the nobles think that the rapha is going to take everything they have just like before…then, it is all useless!'

While Raelian was focused on her thoughts she didn't notice prince Alastair when he got up and left the room. He walked down the empty corridors, one after the other without seeing anyone around, until he came out of the building where he saw two knights talking to each other. The young one was in his position and guarding the door, while the other one who was older was sitting on a rock next to him, drinking from a bottle tied to his belt.

"Why did his highness order us to guard this building anyway, is not like there is something worth protecting."

"I know, but is not our place to question his decisions either, so do what is assigned to you and everything will be all right!"

The other one was not satisfied and left out a big sigh. He started mocking the young knight and got up for a small walk, "And here I thought that after I finished my duty for today, I would be able to return home and spend time with my family. You may not know this feeling since you are new here, young and naive, but working here is a living hell and I try to do my job because I have a family to feed. I must say, being a knight is honorable and all, but it also pays well for their expenses and for partying once in a while."

After he said that, all it was left was silence. The young one was upset by his seniors' words because it looked like he didn't take his job seriously despite what he said before about his family. And things were getting out of hand for the one who wanted to do his job, when he started laughing loudly and uncontrollably out of the blue. "Now I remember something my friend said when the new recruits joined our division. He said that his highness took a child from a village that applied to be a mercenary. What a joke, like someone was really going to let him do that! But he gave him a sword and a professional teacher to train him. Not only did that child win against his teacher within three years, but he also won his title as a 'knight to be' at a young age." He was totally drunk and turned to the other one sneering and walking closer to him "It is funny to say that someone used tricks to get between us, that will put dirt on our honor. So show it to me, I am not going to tell anyone. What trickery did you use for his highness to assign you as a knight at this young age? Because our prince is so heartless with those who are at his level, that he can't be that merciful to an unknown boy from the countryside!"

He was getting closer "Show me!" and closer, shouting "Show it to me!" with a disgusting expression on his face and his tongue constantly licking his lips, leaving the boy stunned and frozen in shock and disgust. He immediately tried to pull out the sword and stop him from getting closer or bringing him to his sense while fighting, but he noticed it too late…the sword was not there. The other one grinned when he saw that the boy was totally defenseless and rushed towards him not leaving any opening to escape. He was smaller than the other knight which was also under the effect of alcohol, so he couldn't possibly win against him bare-handed, which made him close his eyes on reflex and crouched down to the ground.

To his surprise nothing happened after he tried to defend himself, it was strangely quiet. He noticed another person's presence near him and heard "I-I knew it!" in a trembling and low voice like whispering. He raised his head only to see the sword that he lost was piercing right through the other knight's shoulder.

"This is what you do when you are alone with the young knights. Harassing them and neglecting your job by drinking as if it was no tomorrow?" Alastair's eyes were shining in the dark with intense color. The pupil of his eyes was so small, it was hard to see if it was even there and he continued to push the blade further into the knight's shoulder making him bite his lower lips to hold his pain in. "I am not in the mood to see you playing games right now. I gave you a prior order to guard this building until I said you could leave, but then you create all this mess?"

The boy was witnessing all this from below them, breathing heavily not knowing what to do. He knew that the prince was angry and it wasn't his place to defend the one who tried to do something to him, but he also noticed that when he shouted to the knight, the prince flinched as he recalled something and pulled the sword immediately. The knight fell to the ground and covered the wound with his hand and Alastair turned to the boy giving the sword to him "You were scared right?" he gulped hard and stared blankly at Alastair. "He can't do anything to you, the sword is in your hand and he is sober now, so everything is going to be all right." The boy nodded looking at the blade with trembling eyes "Ye-yes, your highness! I deeply apologize for this whole situation we created. I should have been more careful!" Alastair gently patting his head shocked the boy and also the other knight who was trying to stop the bleeding but it was so invested in looking at them that totally forgot about that.

"Don't blame yourself since it wasn't your fault, to begin with. You did your job well so you can take this time to calm down and enjoy the view, because after two hours I want you to go and bring me a carriage from the palace. Don't tell anyone who tries and asks why I want it, just bring it here when the sun rises, all right?"

"As you wish your highness!"

The boy was still on the ground but he tried to show some respect as a knight in front of his prince by standing on one knee and with one hand on the chest. Alastair was satisfied by that and went inside without another word. 'Tsk, I was out for too long. That room is dark and she can't walk right now, so Raelian must have felt hopeless with no one around.' As he returned faster than when he left the room, he opened the door slowly to not scare her "Raelian, it's me! I went outside to prepare a carriage for you…Huh!?" but she wasn't there, the bed was empty and one of the candles was gone. He rushed to check if it was real and she really was not there.

'It can't be! There is no other exit except the front door, and I was there the whole time. Was she in one of the corridors and I didn't notice her? No, no, no… No! I clearly knew that she was an expert in finding a way to run from me, but I still left her alone. Damn it, I shouldn't have gone out when she was right here! ...I shouldn't have given her the medicine after all.'

"I don't know what to do more at this point!"

"First, why don't you try to blow out the candles and enjoy the moonlight? It's not like they are doing a good job by lighting the room anyway."

Alastair heard her voice and couldn't believe it was true. Raelian was outside but still inside the room, in fact she was sitting down on the balcony, with her eyes closed waving at him who was utterly dumbfounded. She was standing right above the place where the knights were and Alastair was worried if she had heard something while standing there "How long have you been here?" Raelian smiled and pointed at his hand "Well, I have been here for a while now! Before the shouting ... and after I smelled blood!". He immediately took a step back after she opened her eyes 'Why are they so dark and glowing gold only around her pupils?! I don't think that she could do this before.'

"Raelian, you can actually control it, right?" 'Why I can not feel her energy? Mine and her's, work exactly the same, but this is different, they don't emit anything!'

"Raelian?!"

[Who is Raelian?]