Chapter 3

Waking up, I run my hands all over my face. I didn't really sleep that well. I felt pretty crummy, like trying to sleep with a knife in my gut. Whatever the reason, I'm up now and I'm not looking forward to my day.

We don't have anything to film today, which made my day slightly better. Looking at my PC, I debate whether I should stream or not.

Before that though, I should really clean up. Just glancing around my room, it was obvious how disheveled it was. Despite a closet, a bed, and a computer being the only things here, there were clothes scattered everywhere. Not to mention the stacks of uncleaned plates on my computer desk.

Getting to work, I quickly grab all my clothes and start folding them. It only took about 20 minutes before they were all sorted. Grabbing the stack of plates on my desk, I try to open the door which quickly led into me doing a balancing act.

After some initial frustration, I get it open and head over to the sink. In the kitchen, I see Alaya eating breakfast.

"...You ordered pancakes?"

"Hm? Yeah, but they're really bland..."

Looking at the pancakes, I question if her taste buds are okay. There was a mountain of syrup all over it. She picked up on my interest and tried feeding me a bite.

"Aahhh~"

Carefully putting it in my mouth, I take a few bites before questioning her taste buds even more. The pancakes were soft and fluffy. The syrup was also bursting with the flavors of caramel and vanilla.

Putting the stack of plates in the sink, I grab a fork and sit next to her. She quietly rests her head on my shoulder as I begin eating.

With the room being full of awkward silence, I could still feel the tension between us. We were like two belligerent children, refusing to apologize to each other.

While I was eating, I noticed Alaya was constantly glancing back at me, probably still bothered by last night.

I don't know what took over me, but noticing that, I couldn't help but run my hand across her hair.

"Sorry about last night... I'll spend all day with you today, alright?"

Resting her head on my thighs, she buried her face in them. She rolled around a bit before nodding. At least, I think she nodded, it was hard to tell.

I thought my apology was pretty half-hearted. It sounded like what every other person would say. But she looked content with it, which was more than enough.

Spending my morning feeding myself and her, it went by pretty peacefully. I cleaned the dishes shortly after eating.

After cleaning, I turn to Alaya and notice she's scrolling through her phone.

"You know, if you keep doing that, your brain's gonna rot."

"Hm? Uhhh... I'm searching up for new restaurants we can go to."

"You gonna make a reservation on the day of?"

After a brief pause, she put her phone away. Did she really think she could reserve on the same day? We've been to so many restaurants, I'm surprised she thinks she can still do that.

"Maybe we should just...stay home for today, ehehe," she said with a sheepish tone.

Watching her smile, I felt something prick my heart. Quite frankly, my reasons for not breaking up with her were out of selfishness. I just didn't want to lose her, she provides the money for both of us.

Sure, I have enough savings to afford my own place, but it wouldn't be as nice as our room now, nor would I be able to live off it for the rest of my life.

The best case I could hope for is that, after we break up, we can still continue being roommates and co-workers, but the chances of that happening are slim.

It's not that I didn't love Alaya anymore, I do. But having to deal with our situation was...taxing. The experience wasn't ideal, I kept telling myself. I kept trying to convince myself that it would get better after a while. That we'd talk about it and everything would be fine.

But now I'm not so sure. Will talking really make it better? Will she make irrational decisions? Would she hate me? There were just so many things to take into account that I couldn't speak. Every time I wanted to bring up the topic, I would croak up.

"Hey... Are you happy with us right now?"

I stare blankly at Alaya for a moment.

Did I just hear her correctly?

"...Sorry, could you repeat that?"

Slowly wrapping her hands over mine, she looks me in the eyes.

"Are...are you happy with the way we are now, Ayato?" she asked with a shaky voice. "If you need to talk, I'm always here for you. I love you, you know that."

Hearing her say those words, something hit me like a truck. She loves me. I don't know why but I've subconsciously thought she didn't. Why was that?

After asking myself that question, I immediately knew the answer.

It was because of my own inability to communicate. I just wanted to sweep my problems under the rug, just break up so we could end our relationship then and there. But that was just me being scared of confronting her, not wanting to see her face of disappointment. I realize now that's wrong.

"Hey, Alaya?"

"What is it?"

"Can we have sex?"

I could see the surprise on her face. She just stared at me like I asked the most bizarre question. It might have been because of how straightforward I was, or because it didn't relate to her question at all.

"I don't mind, but what's that gotta— AH!"

Grabbing her off her feet, I lead us to my bedroom where I quickly lay her down on my bed.

We stare into each other's eyes for a moment before smiling. We kiss, then we embrace each other's warmth.