Again

My eyes opened. The afterlife had come to claim me… or so I thought.

"Arthur Blacklight… For your crimes against our village and the heinous murders, I sentence you to death!"

The gavel slammed.

Wait, this wasn't the afterlife! Why was I back in the courtroom? The all too familiar meaty touch of the guards grabbed my shoulders. Faces I knew watched me as if I were a stranger as I was escorted through the courthouse and thrown into the wagon that led to my impending doom. I was wondering if I imagined all of it, but the jail cell that I was thrown into proved me otherwise. I don't believe in second chances, but what was this then? A punishment? For what? I'm innocent after all. Maybe the gods were doing this to me for some reason or another that I can't figure out.

Maybe I was just thinking this looked all too familiar. A jail cell like the one I was given, the one used for the most hardened of criminals would drive any man insane… especially when he is on the edge. I grew restless in my cell, I often found myself walking around my cell. No matter how hard I tried, the gallows were all too real to me. I was wondering if it was a dream, since often it's hard to distinguish them from reality when you're sleeping. You could get angry at a spouse in your dream and bear a grudge in the real world even though they didn't do anything wrong. But the guards came again in the same manner again. The old man watched me again from his cell. I was taken to the wagon, mocked by the crowds, hung, and died again with Orlah's smile haunting me.

And then I woke up. Again.

"Arthur Blacklight… For your crimes against our village and the heinous murders, I sentence you to death!"

This was no dream. This was reality.

*******

I cannot tell you how many times I've died at this point. I've started to lose track, but somewhere over twenty times now. Most of them have become a blur because of the short time of events, so I'm not going to repeat the events of all of them. In one timeline, I was able to perfectly mimic what the judge and guards were going to say. I even got their shocks of surprise perfectly down to the second but that did nothing but waste time. Even then, I saw Orlah's smile. All my deaths had become more frustrating than depressing to be honest. I've started to come to terms that my death is inevitable, but that wouldn't stop me from trying to find a way out. All I could do was think. Yeah, I was strong. I had decent muscles that helped me in battle (I am an adventurer afterall), but no matter what I tried I could not break the metal door.

As I was banging on the metal door one night, I heard something.

"Would you knock it out already? I'm trying to sleep."

It was the voice of an old man. The one I always saw on my way out.

"I know where you're headed, but you could at least just die with dignity," he said.

"You have no idea how I wish I could," I replied.

This was my first conversation in days. It felt relieving to talk to someone.

"You got someone unfinished business or something?"

"I guess you could say that."

"I don't have much time left, so I don't have the time to worry about who I want vengeance upon."

"That's easy for you to say. I'm on death row for a crime I didn't commit."

The old man paused for a second.

"Eh, I don't know if you're telling me the truth or not. I don't really care. Now if you'll excuse me, I'd like to get some more sleep now."

"Wait! Wait! Wait!" I yelled.

The old man sighed.

"What?"

"This is the first time I've talked to someone in days! I don't want to be alone again!"

"Well, you're on death row. Your punishment isn't going to last for too long, unlike mine."

I banged on the door.

"What do you like? Reading? Walking? Nature?!"

For the first time in my life, I had become desperate. I was not letting him go. Not now.

"Fine," he groaned. "If it'll get ya to shut up I suppose I like nature. Now can I sleep now?"

"What do you like about nature?"

"Sheesh, kid. You really want to talk. I don't know, I never really thought about it. I've been in this place for over a year now, I haven't seen a tree since then."

"Well, I like the little things. Like the little squirrel climbing up the tree, or the sound the wind makes when it shakes the trees."

Another pause. I was afraid I lost him until he said, "I guess I like that stuff too. I never thought about all of that crap since my mobility's gone down with my age. I don't like the wind though, it's too cold."

This felt like the conversation I had with Orlah somehow. Except, this time, the person who was listening to me seemed to not just be saying yes to everything.

"I guess that's understandable…"

"Hey, kid. What did you do to get on death row?"

"I told you, I'm innocent."

"Tell me anyway."

I sighed and began to tell him everything… except for the time loop of course. It'd be so long since I let him respond that I was afraid he'd fallen asleep, but thankfully he responded.

"Ya know, kid, I can't tell if you're lying or not, but I'll admit, I have trouble thinking that someone like you would have the guts to kill another man. My name's Remus? What's yours?"

"Arthur."

"Arthur, huh? Would your father happen to be Gallus Blacklight?"

"Yeah… wait, how did you know that?"

"Because I was your neighbor when you were still in diapers. You've grown so much since then. Your father was like you. Hardworking and loved nature. He never wanted to waste a sunny day outside when he was alive."

The village was small, so something like this shouldn't have shocked me. But it did somehow. My father, according to my mother, was an adventurer just like I was. He worked as a bounty hunter of sorts, taking on the most dangerous monsters. He left one day to take on a dragon and never came back.

Suddenly, the old man became a lot more chatty. I was already starting to forget my repeating Doom.

"Hey, Arthur… What do you know about magic?"

"Umm… not much. Why do you ask?"

"Your old man used to cast a few spells in the day, not much. I was wondering if you used them."

"No, I don't… what kind of magic did he use?"

I couldn't see his face, but I felt a smile growing from it.

"Fire."

"Fire? Isn't that stuff really powerful?"

"Yeah, but it's also very hard to use and very unstable. Unless you can dance to the ways of the flame, you will never be able to use it. The explosive nature alone could kill you."

Fire magic. I never knew that my father used it. In fact, I never really used magic at all.

"Well, how do I use it?"

"There are many ways to manifest it. It's be easier if I was with you, but hold out your hand and imagine a flame."

I did so.

"Does it feel warm?" the old man asked.

"No," I said. "Won't it burn me?"

"Use your brain kid. It should feel warm. Focus all of your energy into the palm of your hand, if it starts hurting, ignore the pain."

I tried as hard as I could.

"Control your breathing and mana should flow through your body. Mana, the essence of life and magic itself, will allow you to materialize it into existence."

I tried. It was really difficult. I don't know how much time had passed, but by morning…

A spark. A spark appeared! It was only briefly! But it appeared!

"Hey!" I shouted. "I made a spark! I made a spark, old man!"

No response. He was probably sleeping. I heard the guard's walking down the hallway, until one of them stopped.

"Hey, come check this out," one of them said.

I heard a cell door opening.

"Help me check his pulse, will ya?"

I couldn't hear much, but I heard only the shuffling of their uniforms and boots.

"He's dead."

It was my fault Remus had died. He stayed up too late into the night just to talk with me and teach me how to hone my magic. I knew I couldn't let him die, there was only one way I could save him.

"Hey, guards. Don't keep me waiting, I want to get this over with," I said.

The guards took me away to the gallows. The all too familiar scene taunted me, but I didn't care. As I hung, I could see Orlah's smile once again as my vision faded.