chapter twenty five

"of course, you've known me the longest and you're obviously the closest, if I had one obviously you will know it" she said angrily and annoyed

Nick signaled her to.face him and she did

"ok tell me why do you want me to get you a boyfriend, why not let the right guy propose to you"

"I trust you" Joan said

"thank you but I don't trust myself, so no I won't help you with this"

" please!!!! you have always being there for me helping when I don't even need it"

"yes! helping you when you don't need it, that's my specialty, I will help you when you don't need it so no I won't help you with this and that's because you need my help"

"you're not a good friend"

"you're right I'm not a good friend but an awesome best friend"

"uh!!!!!! you" she said and closed her eyes

"are you upset" Nick asked but it seemed she had fallen asleep

he watched her, got closer to her, removed the hair strands that was bothering her, kissed her forehead and whispered

"I am.sorry you slept off angry, I can do everything for you but not that, I can't give you away with my own hands, I won't be able to forgive myself, let them call me selfish but I can't"

he pulled into a sitting position and watched her.

What did he feel when about their earlier conversation?.

let me tell you, what he felt with every word, sentence and statement

""I want to date someone" heartbreak, that was what he felt but his response was more heartbreaking.

"I want a boyfriend" another heartbreak, if it was dating only he had a hope that all might not go well but getting a boyfriend although that can also break but he knew anyone who gets a chance to be with her will never allow her to go that was how special she was.

at that moment on he didn't want to hear another thing about that. topic because he was dying inside and he wanted to be alive, he pleaded in his mind countless times for her to stop talking about it but then another one came

"i want you to get me one" he can do anything but not that and any other thing that involves him losing Joan, he couldn't bear that.