18 18

Katsuki's valedictorian speech was, in his not-so-humble opinion, a piece of shit.

He wrote it, re-wrote it and re-re-re-wrote it. Nothing felt genuine. He couldn't stop himself from writing cliched words, unable to reach any part of himself that had sincere laments to the rest of his shit-ass graduating class. He had no intention of seeing any of these fucks ever again. He was going to break free from this shithole any moment now, and short of rubbing that in those extras' faces, he didn't have much to say.

Deku was different. His heart lurched in his chest when he thought of those sparkling emerald eyes, that vibrant smile, that bashful blush that graced his dimpled cheeks even now when they met eyes. It's this image that he conjured in his mind when he finally wrote it. Of lashes that fluttered like hummingbird wings. Of curls rustling in the wind like wings. Of wide open skies, twinkling stars, of laughter like windchimes. Of freedom.

Reading over it as he stood before the stage made him just about balk and run out of the place.

What-the-fuck-ever. He doesn't give a flying (hah!) fuck what all these extras think of him. Even so, his cheeks burn, his tongue feels heavy and sloppy in his own mouth, and Katsuki's sweating bullets through his graduation gown. Years later, when he watched the home-made video his father exuberantly recorded of the moment, he's surprised to find himself sounding calm and composed.

"In her poem, 'Caged Bird,' Maya Angelou concludes: 'The caged bird sings/ with a fearful trill/ of things unknown/ but longed for still/ and his tune is heard/ on the distant hill/ for the caged bird/ sings of freedom.' With this graduation, many of us are stepping outside our cages for the first time. This is the first step outside our comfortable, safe nests – the first step to flight, of reaching heights unknown. The next years of our lives are filled with uncertainty, but know this – "

He remembers meeting Deku's eyes in the crowd, somehow finding him among the hundreds of students in the auditorium. Somehow, in that moment, he feels like he's speaking directly to the freckled wonder. Somehow, in that moment, it felt like he was saying goodbye.

"Nothing can be gained without taking risk. If you find yourself flying south for the winter, do. If you find yourself building your own nest, do. If you find yourself with an itch to come back home after going where the wind takes you, do that too. Letting go is the first step to growth. I have no doubt that we'll find our way… to where we belong."

The applause was stupid. The tears in Katsuki's eyes were stupid. The after-party, where he drowned himself in whiskey as some of his classmates tried to shoot their last shot to get into his pants, was monumentally stupid. The fact that there wasn't a head of curly green hair anywhere within his reach was the stupidest thing of all.

He stumbled home, half drunk and miserable. What should have been one of the best nights of his life felt like closing a door. A door that he was ready to slam shut for most of his life. What changed?

Katsuki knew, of course. Knew even more so as his heart jumped when he saw that familiar silhouette sitting on his porch in the dark. The sight of this short nerd, hunched over, hands on his knees and cheeks resting in his palms, almost made Katsuki cry.

"Deku." He states, and Izuku looks up, surprise painting his freckled face in the barely-illuminated darkness.

"Kacchan," Izuku responds breathlessly.

"Sorry. I, uh." He looks around, as if realizing for the first time where he was and what he was doing.

At one in the morning, their neighborhood is eerily quiet, punctuated only with the light thrum of crickets, the soft summer breeze rustling the leaves atop the ancient trees.

"I… wanted to see you," Izuku finally says. With rapid steps, Katsuki approaches Deku, pretending not to notice as the thinner boy shrinks back. With a fluid movement, he picks the fuck up by the collar and, more violent than not, slams their mouths together.

Tentative though he is, Deku takes all but two seconds to meet him with equal fury, equal passion, threading his fingers through Katsuki's hair, tongue lapping up each drop of whiskey left on his breath.

"You spendin' the night?" Katsuki huffs out as they break free of their frantic kiss, both men out of breath, panting lightly against each other's lips. In the middle of their neighborhood, the heat between them radiates, and Katsuki all but laughs at the eager nodding of the little green nerd's head.

Despite Deku's protests, Katsuki sucked the nerd off anyway. He couldn't get it up, and he waved it away as a whiskey-dick reason. Definitely not a heartbroken, shit-I-might-be-in-love-with-you reason. He let himself sober up, dread building like poison in his blood as Deku laid on his chest, hands tracing tiny circles against his collar, the easy touch only intensifying the ache in Katsuki's heart.

"I liked your speech, Kacchan…" Izuku's little voice whispers. Katsuki doesn't know why his dumb hand caresses down Izuku's back, but it does. Doesn't know why his traitorous fingers card through his soft green curls, but they do. He can't find the words, though. Instead, he fidgets with his phone, setting the alarm early enough that Deku can sneak out without rousing anyone's suspicion.

"You were surprisingly… poetic," the dork continues.

"Hah? You fucking think I can't be poetic, shitnerd?" Katsuki jumps back to a familiar territory, rage, indignation, soft and comforting against the backdrop of melancholy threatening to smother him alive.

"…. It sounded a lot like you feel like you're trapped here," the tiny voice adds.

"Yeah. You fuckin' don't?"

"I don't know, Kacchan. I just… don't see it like that."

Deku's not the only one. A ton of their classmates were going to college in their home state, not an insignificant amount of the smarter ones following Deku an hour north to that engineering college. Katsuki was one of the few that decided to leave. Everyone else is just too small minded, too comfortable in their monotony, Katsuki boisterously concluded. Katsuki's different. He has aspirations. Dreams. He ignores the voice in the back of his head telling him that maybe, just maybe, he's running away. From the hurt associated with his home. From the angry, shitty person he was. From Deku, and the way he feels about him.

This is different, Katsuki tells himself. This isn't cowardice. This isn't running away. Katsuki did the right thing. Deku is being naïve, is all he's doing. What, they're gonna overcome the challenges of life with 'the power of love?' Spare Katsuki the melodramatics. Life isn't that fuckin' simple. Love is just a primordial soup of chemicals, all about fucking and procreating and using the other person to your benefit. Love is about survival. It doesn't mean shit.

Really, genius? Then why the fuck have you loved him for the past six years of your life, huh, dipshit? Katsuki has a mantra, of course. The clouding of his brain, not being able to sleep, the helpless yearning, the fact that his frayed nerves can only be settled by that dorky little laugh – that is temporary. Right? The way he feels is… its going to stop, right? The hurt is going to eventually go away, right?

It's been weeks.

It's been weeks, and they haven't spoken. No dumb squealing 'Kacchan!,' no excited rambling against his ear lulling him to sleep, no pictures of dorky smiles and sunshine-freckles. Nothing.

Katsuki fucked up. Katsuki fucked up so hard, he's not sure how to un-fuck it up.

What is wrong with him? Why couldn't he just fucking come out and say it? Fucking move in with me, Deku. Fucking I love you, Deku. Shit that he knows that he wants. Shit that he's admitted to other people. Things that he can't fucking choke out of his idiot throat, no matter how hard he tries. The shame associated with it, the fact that he's fucked up so royally, the fact that he's hurt Deku a-fucking-gain, that he's this pathetic, and insecure, and fucking scared shitless, has left him in a state of constant misery.

It's over. It has to be over. No normal human person would put up with Katsuki's bullshit for this long. And Deku's been patient. So fucking patient.

He tries not to dwell on it. Tries to stop his shitty thoughts, which crawl up his throat and dig their claws into his mind as he tries to fall asleep. He's picked up his phone more times than not, finger hovering over Deku's number, but. But.

If he calls, if they talk again, that's it, isn't it? Deku's just going to break up with him. No, Katsuki can't do it. He'd rather stay in this limbo. He'd rather never know than lose him.

And he knows he's a goddamn coward for it. He knows it, and even so, he can't face it.

Its fucking him up even more now that the medical school acceptances are coming in. Each letter feels like it's been dipped in cyanide, and every time he touches a new one, his throat closes up and his skin burns. Each one used to mean something exciting – of a potential future, one that he was foolish enough to imagine with Deku.

I'm not going to wait forever, Kacchan.

His thoughts grow progressively more frantic as graduation approaches. As if he wasn't already drowning in dread, imagine his fucking surprise when that fated text from his mom came in, confirming that she's going to be attending his graduation. Ya know, meaning that this will be the first time they've seen each other since he graduated high school. On top of that, Inko Midoriya and Masaru Bakugou are coming, too – Deku in tow.

He considers ditching out on his own graduation. Just fucking off somewhere to Mexico, drowning himself in tequila, and falling off the face of the Earth. It sounds so much more preferable than wading through that mountain of shit. The tension between Masaru and Mitski was so fucking palpable during his graduation – his idiot parents couldn't put away their shit for one minute then. Katsuki has no reason to believe it would be any better now.

Fucking off to Mexico is a non-option, obviously. The second easiest thing to do, Katsuki figures, is nothing. Katsuki's been happy enough here for the past 4 years, with the idiot brigade, with Denki as his roommate. Why change anything? And, shit, if Deku changes his mind in the next four years, he'll know where to find him. Stasis is the only real solution here. Katsuki grabs one of the dishes in the sink, lathering it up, fingers already pruning under stream of water. Yeah. He'll stay at Harvard for medical school. He's just overthinking everything.

"Dumb-shit, ya wanna renew our lease for next year, or move to a new place?" Katsuki calls from the kitchen to his roommate, lounging on the couch, playing some dumbass video game Katsuki isn't familiar with. When he doesn't get a response for a few minutes, Katsuki huffs and turns off the water, turning towards Kaminari.

He doesn't expect the blonde to have stopped his video game and to be staring at him from over the couch, his expression knotted in concern.

"Hey, dude, um, I didn't know how to tell you…." The serious tone makes Katsuki knit his eyebrows together in confusion.

"I'm not gonna renew the lease. I'm gonna move."

Katsuki nearly doubles over.

"HAAAH? Where to?"

"I'm moving with Kyoka to New York." Kaminari gives him such a sheepish, delighted glare that Katsuki almost thinks that the motherfucker is joking. Almost.

"Wha?" Katsuki stands, stunned.

"Isn't it…I don't know, early? You're fucking moving across the country with someone you fuckin' met less than a year ago? What the shit you two gonna do for money with two musicians?"

"Yeah, well," Kaminari smiles even wider, threading fingers behind his neck casually. "We'll figure it out. I'll take up a serving job. Or go to grad school. It doesn't matter, as long as I'm with her."

Kaminari tilts his head at Katsuki's incredulous look, something sympathetic in his innocent expression.

"Look, I know it seems crazy, but, I love her. Sometimes it's worth it to take the leap. Can't be afraid of everything for the rest of my life."

Katsuki finds himself speechless. His friend looks exuberant, joyful, and for once, his stupidity doesn't seem so stupid.

For once, it seems freeing.

For once, Katsuki's the one that feels trapped, tethered by his own preconceived notions of what is proper, what is right.

"How about you and the bro-yfriend?" Kaminari asks, good naturedly.

Katsuki wipes his hands against the kitchen towel and trudges over to the couch. Why he feels even more miserable than he had a moment before, he's not sure. But for some reason, he wants advice. For the first time in his entire life, he wants that advice from the personification of the Garfield in Paris movie, Denki fucking Kaminari.

"We haven't spoken since he visited." Katsuki admits.

"What? Why the fuck not?"

"… He told me he loved me."

"So? You love the ever-living shit out of him. What's the problem?"

"I didn't say it back." Katsuki says, and it stings like a brand. He flinches as Denki jumps off the couch and gets into his space, eyes wide with shock.

"WHY?!? What the fuck, Dr. Dumbass, why wouldn't you…"

"Look, fuck, idiot, I'm – I don't do shit half-assed, okay? If I tell him, then I'm in all the way. We tell our parents. We take the fallout from the rest of our families. I tether him to me. There's med school, residency, fucking fellowship. If things go south, he might not have a place to return to. How would I do that to him? I can't… ruin his life because I fuckin… can't live without him."

"Dude." Kaminari actually puts his hands on Katsuki's shoulders, and Katsuki fights the impulse to push his roommate off of him. Amber eyes stare into his seriously, unafraid. It makes Katsuki feel small, for some reason. It's like one of those moments in the movies, when the comic relief character comes out with some swath of wisdom and blows everyone away.

"…If you don't lock it down, I will. Your boy is fine as shit. Me, him and Jirou? Hottest throuple in Manhattan, I'm fuckin' telling you."

Katsuki rolls his eyes, pushing the shorter man off him. So much for that. Kaminari just laughs.

"I'm kidding. But, shit, KitKat. Watcha gonna do? Become a big, famous, successful doctor, go to a family reunion in 10 years, and fuck him behind a tree while your respective wives and kids and shit play together? Is that the future you're looking for?"

"…No. No. I don't want – "

"That would be kinda hot, actually…"

"Kaminari!" Kaminari actually stops, thrown off by hearing his real name.

"Hey, man. It's never not going to be scary. There's no such thing as falling in love without some kind of risk. But isn't he worth it?"

Katsuki finds himself smiling.

"…Yeah. Yes, he is."

Katsuki checks his phone anxiously. He's spent the last hour between Kaminari, Kirishima and Sero, adjusting their gowns and graduation caps, Ashido taking way too many pictures of them in their regalia. They're going to need to line up in the next few minutes – he was going to just wait it out with the rest of the idiots, but the text from his mom made his entire body thrum with anxiety.

It wasn't much. Just said, "I'm here, Katsuki! Left side, row J. Find me when you can?"

She probably meant after he walked and received his diploma. It would take way more than fifteen minutes to unpack the years of resentment and mistrust he has for the woman. But his feet move, and he's making a beeline straight to row J, ignoring the incessant hammering of his pulse.

He knows it's her right away, her short crop of platinum blonde hair standing out amongst the sea of black and brown.

"…Mitsuki!" Katsuki calls out, feeling odd for not calling her 'mom' instead. But she turns her head anyway, and tears spring to Katsuki's eyes immediately. The wide gleaming smile, the red eyes that he's seen in the mirror too many times. And, uh, the… woman sitting next to her, dark skinned and gorgeous, hair near white, their fingers intertwined.

Overwhelming understanding crushes over him.

The late night screaming matches between his parents. His mom staying out late on 'girls nights.' She did cheat. Just not in the way he always assumed. Fuckin' takes one to know one. Holy shit.

The blonde woman says something to her partner before she squeezes through the seats, jumping on Katsuki with an overly-familiar hug. Warmth spreads through his chest, and he's hugging back, hugging her so hard he's sure he'd crack a rib or two if she wasn't squeezing him just as hard.

She pulls back and holds her hands on Katsuki's face, grinning, red eyes glossy, and Katsuki bites at his lip to prevent it from wobbling.

"Mom," he says. "Its, um. Thank you for coming. And you brought…" He darts his head towards the woman his mother is with, pointedly ignoring the sheepish smile on her face.

"Um, that's, Rumi Usagiyama. My, um. Friend." She looks young. Gleeful. Showing him a smile that he doesn't remember ever seeing when he was growing up. A smile that his dad has with Izuku's mom.

It's like a switch flipped inside Katsuki's head. Like he can finally see his mother not as just his mother, the person that hurt and abandoned him. But as a human being, who makes mistakes, who did the best she could. Who deserves to be happy.

"It's okay." Katsuki says, emboldened, hoping that word conveys a lot more than 'just this situation' is okay.

"Me too," he adds, as cryptically as possible. His mom raises her eyebrows.

"I knew it. Is there…"

There's hundreds of people piled up in the chairs along the quad. The chance that Katsuki would be able to find his father, and in turn, Deku, were near impossible. And yet, as Katsuki's eyes dart through the seated crowd, he finds verdant green on him almost instantaneously. His body floods with relief.

His mom follows his gaze, frowning as she finds Masaru and Inko, apparently unaware of their impromptu staring match.

"Wow. Katsuki… I'm sorry." She laughs. "It makes a lot of sense. You couldn't separate the two of you when you were kids."

"This is fucked, right?" Katsuki's eyes tear away from Deku's and he stares at his mom, hoping for an answer. She smiles sadly and, once again, brings him in for a hug, this time gently, more understanding.

"Honey. God knows I'm not the right person to give advice on relationships. But I know that I want you to be happy. Your dad does too. Love isn't always linear. It doesn't always make sense. But it's worth fighting for."

Katsuki inhales the sweet vanilla of her perfume, feeling like a little kid again, warm and secure. Reluctantly, he pulls away, knowing that time is running out prior to lining up to get his degree.

"Thanks, mom. Thanks for coming."

He shoots one last poignant look to Izuku, who hasn't stopped looking in his direction. Something hopeful springs in Katsuki's chest. The look wasn't malicious. Maybe he can still fix this.

Deku's worth fighting for. He's scared, sure he is, but isn't he worth it?

"Katsuki Bakugou is graduating summa cum laude with a dual degree in biology and chemistry. Katsuki spent the last four years playing baseball and has been accepted to over ten of the top medical schools in the country! He's just keeping us all on our toes with deciding which one to go to – " The dean of his school jokes, getting a tiny laugh from the audience. Katsuki gives the dude a pained smile. Yeah, he fucking knows he's cutting it close. But this isn't just his decision anymore, now is it? He glances into the crowd, finding Izuku. There's someone in his life now.

The rest of the ceremony goes by in a flurry, and as the congratulations ring out, graduation caps fly through the air, the cheers, confetti, beach-ball that someone found?, all flying through the celebrating crowd. After tearful exchanges with his idiots, Katsuki makes his way to Masaru, Inko and Deku.

The air between himself and Izuku is tense. Not bad, necessarily. Just filled with unsaid words, unsaid feelings. But as the four of them start their way back to their parent's car to get ready to go out to Katsuki's graduation dinner, Katsuki's and Izuku's hands brush. And its hope. It feels like hope, blooming and beautiful and endless.

Everything is going really fucking well. Katsuki meets the other three at a too-upscale restaurant downtown, and the conversation is easy. He avoids questions about the future, listens to the plans for Deku's own graduation coming next week, listens with interest at Deku's recount of what all his friends are going to be up to next year.

There's no way that Katsuki, two glasses of wine in, smile playing on his lips, the cute mumbling of his step-brother lulling him into a love-drunk state, could have foreseen what was coming next.

The four of them had just gotten desert delivered, crème brule for Izuku and a port-wine for Katsuki, when, after clearing her throat loudly, Inko Midoriya starts to speak.

"We know about you two."

Katsuki spits out his drink while the custardy desert runs out of Izuku's mouth and dribbles down his chin.

"…know what?" Katsuki starts, locking eyes with his father. His father darts his eyes away immediately, choosing to fiddle with his own ice cream sundae. Bad. This is bad. He doesn't dare look at Deku, either, who is hurriedly trying to wipe the drool off his chin and off his dress-shirt.

"That you two are – "

"Its normal to experiment but – "

Inko and Masaru look at each other, effectually cutting each other off. The two of them take an uncomfortable bite of food and Katsuki, flight-or-fight impulse activated and ready to fucking GO, drowns his wine glass and waves the server down for another.

"You're brothers." Inko Midoriya finally says, bite in her voice that hits Katsuki in his very soul.

"Mom…" Izuku starts, voice high, defensive. "It's not like that at all. You don't understand... Kacchan and I, we…"

"We understand that… hormones… and suddenly living together can… make things…" Inko starts, each word tentative, and awkward, and instilling more and more rage into Katsuki's heart.

Masaru has this guilty expression on his face. Katsuki wonders if his dad told Inko about Katsuki's confession that he loves someone. Wonders if they put two and two together.

"It would probably be best if… if we all didn't spend holidays together anymore. At least for a while. Until one or both of you settle down. Because…."

"No." Katsuki interrupts. Izuku's head spins to him, but he ignores him. This is something he has to do, hell or high water. Something that he should have done earlier. Before shit got this out of control.

"Its either us together, or neither one of us." Katsuki states with finality, emboldened, hand reaching out to grasp at Izuku's. Fear runs through Katsuki. He's sure gonna look like a total idiot if Deku pulls back, if he denies anything happened between them, if he actually wants to break things off.

But you know what? Fuck it. Fuck all of this. He's not going to apologize for loving him. Come what may, that's never going to change.

Katsuki almost can't hear Izuku speak over the pump of blood in his own ears.

"Mom - I love Kacchan. This isn't – this isn't a fling. We're – "

Katsuki takes a deep breath and squeezes the green boys hand, reveling in the squeeze he receives back.

"We were together before you two were. We were together all of high school. This isn't some hormonal-ass experimental bullshit. Sure, we're fucking step-brothers, but – " Katsuki turns an accusatory look at Inko.

"But that's because of you two! If you fuckin' told either one of us before, before getting married behind our backs, it might have been different! You both betrayed our fucking trust! So how is it any of your goddamn business if we're fucking? Apparently it wasn't any of ours when you were! How do you think mom felt about this, huh?" Katsuki turns his accusatory stare to Masaru, shrinking back in his chair. "That you shacked up with her best friend?"

"Katsuki, this isn't – don't bring you mother into this." Masaru Bakugou finally raises his gaze to Katsuki's. His dad's voice is deep, louder, angry, hand gripping against the tablecloth. An unusual flicker or rage runs through his eyes, and with some irony, Katsuki's never been more reassured that this man is his father. The bastard apple doesn't fall far from the selfish bastard tree, huh?

Masaru takes a deep breath and opens his eyes again, previous rage now a steely cold resolve.

"Son, you have to understand how… inappropriate this relationship is. Whether you're happy with it or not, we're a family and you're brothers. We can't condone this behavior. Don't make a scene."

"Behavior? Fuckin' what?" Katsuki's voice raises, and he's too furious to notice the other people in the restaurant giving him tentative, panicked looks. "You're gonna fucking lecture me on how I live my fucking life? You don't know shit about me or Deku. We're adults and make our own choices."

"Boys, this is coming from a place of love… how you think your grandparents will feel? Your friends? Izuku, you seemed so happy with Ochaco, why… You could have a family! Why choose to be with someone… someone like him?"

Deku's hand suddenly squeezes against Katsuki's so hard is aches. Katsuki doesn't know what Inko means with 'someone like him.' But the guilty look in her eyes, the fact that she won't look at him, certainly doesn't mean that it's a compliment.

He should have expected as much. Why would Inko Midoriya ever think Katsuki's good enough for her precious fucking Izuku? She's not fucking wrong. He tortured the kid in middle school. Katsuki can only imagine how many times Izuku came home from school, crying to the green-haired woman about Katsuki's bullshit. All the more reason to keep making it up to him. For the rest of his life.

"Don't talk about him like that! Kacchan's amazing! I've been his since the beginning, and you not wanting that for me doesn't change that!"

Katsuki spins to Izuku, and electric green meet turbulent red, finding understanding, passion, love in each other's eyes. Katsuki doesn't know if its adrenaline, or the relief of finally telling the truth, or fighting side by side with the person he loves against a common enemy, them against the world, but he's ready. To claw, to fight. For anything, as long as its with this amazing little green nerd by his side.

"We're together. We've been dating for a year. I love him. Fucking deal with it."

Katsuki dramatically gets up from the meal. He takes his wallet and throws two hundred on the table, pointedly making eye contact with both Masaru and Inko, before urging Deku from his seat and stampeding out.

With fresh air around them, the walk back to Katsuki's apartment becomes less urgent. They slow down, walking side by side, fingers interlocked. Katsuki glances at Izuku. Izuku's lip wobbles, green eyes sparkling like the Milky Way, and he nudges his head against Katsuki's shoulder, squeezing harder. Any space between them is too much. He leans back, landing a shaky kiss against the boy's green curls. Both of them are trembling, hands sweaty, bodies stiff, but they don't let go.

There's no going back.

That settles in Katsuki's stomach as he opens his apartment. Katsuki's anger morphs into panic, discomfort, fear. He went overboard. He doesn't know if Deku wanted this – he might have severed the connection between Izuku and his mom permanently. He made him choose sides.

Their movement echoes through the overwhelmingly empty rooms. The TV and gaming consoles belonged to Kaminari, along with a bunch of the shitty art that used to hang on their walls. Without it, it feels like something is missing.

He drags Izuku to the couch, and the two of them sit heavily, wordless. The last thing Katsuki expected was to hear that laugh, that crazy, bubbling, exuberant laugh to leave Izuku's lips. Shocked, he glances up. This insane kid – tears are running down his face, but he's laughing, entire body trembling like the little fuck is dying from hypothermia.

"I've never been so scared of anything in my life, Kacchan! Holy – holy shit!" Izuku laughs, hands reaching for Katsuki, as if trying to spread that shake to another body.

"I – shit. I'm sorry, I didn't –" Katsuki stammers, trying to backtrack, placate what he assumes are the first signs of a mental breakdown.

"No, no, Kacchan – that was. That was so dramatic. Its so… so Kacchan." Glancing up from those tear-clumped eyelashes, Deku's gorgeous. The picture of innocence and obscene beauty, those eyes paralyzing Katsuki in his seat. Yeah, this is what he wants. That's the face he wants to see every day, for the rest of his goddamn life.

"Look, I'm not going to apologize for what happened between us, even if this is over. You have every reason to break up with me. But, shit, I just - I wanted them to know. You can just – you can tell your mom that we broke it off after this, and you don't have to fuckin' – "

"That's not what I meant, dummy –" Izuku's on him in milliseconds, tear-slicked lips meeting his, all salt and hot breaths and urgency. Katsuki's surprise dissipates at the feel of that warmth, the feel of the familiar muscles under his fingertips, the tickle of that hair, peppermint encapsulating him unto a cocoon of safety, of joy.

He's not sure when his own tears started to mix in their salty, desperate kisses. Doesn't know when the chaste brush of lips turned into an exchange of apologies, an exchange of desire, an exchange of understanding mixed with saliva and tongue. It sucks all air, all coherent thought from Katsuki's head, until the world is just the feel of Deku, his hands in his hair, the sweet groans against his lips. Katsuki's not sure how long they stay like that before they finally have to come up for air again, and, with hesitation, they lean back, breathing hard, foreheads touching.

"I'm scared shitless, Deku. But I fucking love you. So much. I'm a fucking idiot, and – " Deku cuts him off again, another kiss, slow, languid, gentle, the slide of their spit slicked lips making his heart do somersaults in his chest.

"Kacchan. I already told you. If you're – if you're sure, and you actually - do you want to try? To make this work?"

"Do you? Your mom was fucking right - Deku, its… it's not going to be easy with me. We'll move a lot. I'll be working insane hours. And its fucking me. I might not… I'm bad at this shit. This emotion shit."

Izuku laughs that beautiful laugh that sets his soul ablaze, his eyelashes brushing against Katsuki's cheeks, the barely-there sensation feeling like tiny shocks against his buzzing skin.

"When have things ever been easy with you, Katsuki?"

Katsuki. The sound of his name coming from those lips draws a growl from the back of Katsuki's throat, and, with a laugh, he tosses Izuku on his back, climbing over him, a predator over his prey. At least, it would be, if said prey didn't have the most joyful smile on his beautiful idiot face. Doesn't he know that he's about to be devoured? Doesn't he know that he's in danger? Doesn't he know that he'll never be able to run away from Katsuki again?

There's no hurry. So many of their times before were rushed, ripping into each other, kisses like committing a crime, each exploration into each other's bodies a heist, wrong and thrilling and ready to be aborted at any moment. But not today. Today, Katsuki leans down and kisses his step-brother's cheeks, licking at the wet streaks that the tears have left behind. Kisses at the man's dimples. Bites at the corners of the man's cheeks, eliciting sweet giggles from his counterpart. Kissing gently along the column of his neck, reveling in the eager tug of the man's hands against his dress shirt. He pulls up, just to appreciate that face. The wonderment in those eyes. His terrestrial green hair spread on the cushions of his white couch. Those breathtaking freckles like butterfly wings along his nose, his cheeks. That smile – relief, affection, understanding, somehow all of this painted on the canvas of the most fantastic person he's ever met. The dork from down the street. His best friend, his step-brother, his boyfriend, his lover.

Love, Katsuki decides, isn't so fucking stupid after all.

There's laughter. Laughter as Katsuki wiggles his fingers under the other man's armpits at they pull of his dress shirt. Laughter as the two of them nearly fall of the couch when Izuku tries to take off Katsuki's pants. Laughter as their naked bodies slot against each other and they kiss, without urgency, Izuku complaining about the hard press of Katsuki's erection into his thigh. Laughter as Katsuki kisses along his hip bones, breaths ghosting against the boy's cock, fingers arching to make the shorter boy yelp and moan against him.

They don't take their eyes off each other as Katsuki enters him. Its intense. A new kind of intense. Not to be a fucking sap, but beyond being like, physically naked, Katsuki feels emotionally naked. For the first time in his stupid life. The whimpering in Izuku's throat, the tears glistening in his eyes, the press of his dumb teeth into his bottom lip – he doesn't have words. Each thrust into his welcoming heat a wave of pleasure. Katsuki distracts himself, peppering Deku with kisses, whispering against the man's skin, words eager, like they've been waiting years to finally spill from his mouth.

I love you, I love you, I love you.

Skin sliding against skin, sweat pooling between the two of them, they smile between moans, pleasure making them close their eyes, arch their backs. Izuku keeps pulling him closer, arms around his neck, keeps kissing his cheeks, the tips of his nose, his eyes. This gentleness is odd to Katsuki – a feeling he's never experienced before, the warmth pooling in his stomach, the wave cresting in the ocean, builds slowly, naturally, welcomingly. If this goddamn moment could last the rest of his life, he'd have no complaints.

Their release comes almost simultaneously, lips locked, moans swallowed by the other, shaking bodies pressed together, floating atop the tsunami that they've built between them. Releasing them down to the safety of those sandy shores.

Katsuki doesn't know how long it takes them to disconnect. They might have been there for hours. He doesn't really care. He could have stayed there forever, listening to the calming beating of Izuku's heart.

Ba-dump. Ba-dump. Ba-dump.

Eventually, after they clean up and they make it under Katsuki's cool, recently washes sheets, Katsuki puts his chin on the other man's chest. Izuku's somewhere else entirely, staring up at the ceiling, fingers absently playing with Katsuki's hair. The movement is so comforting that he might drift off, but he's got something important to ask. Finally.

"Deku, hey."

"Mmm. Hey, Kacchan."

"Move in with me."

Katsuki moves, allowing Deku to prop himself up on his elbows.

"What… like move to Boston?"

"Yeah. Or fucking Los Angeles. Or San Francisco. Or Seattle. Or New York. Or Chicago. I've got acceptances everywhere. I just…" Katsuki looks up to Izuku, and swallows down his own nervousness. Fuck, the dork is supposed to be the one that rambles, but with his heart out in the open like this, he can't help his stupid mouth from going on and on.

"Fuck, I don't wanna be presumptuous, I know you got that job offer – "

"I turned it down," Izuku interrupts, an understanding smile on his face. "Silly. I was gonna follow you whether you wanted me to or not." Izuku jokes, kissing Katsuki's forehead.

"Fucking stalker." Katsuki snorts, but he hugs tighter.

"You're stuck with me now, Kacchan. Hope you're ready for that."

"Pfft. Been ready my whole stupid life, nerd. I've always been yours, and you've always been mine, remember?"

Izuku hums in agreement, and quiet settles between them. Katsuki's on the brink of falling asleep, warmth and Izuku's heartbeat the perfect lullaby to help him drift off, until a rumbling in said chest wakes him.

"Hey. I've always wanted to live by the water." Izuku says, dreamily, almost as if sleep-talking.

"Good fucking place to start, nerd."

Katsuki takes the last of the boxes down from Izuku's dorm down to the moving truck. He makes his way back upstairs and sits down, grabbing a slice of pizza with Ochaco, Tsuyu, Iida, Shoto and Izuku on his empty dorm floor. He waves away the beer – after all, they have a long drive ahead of them. The six of them sit around for a bit, laughing, telling Katsuki all about Deku's college adventures, and he soaks it all in. Deku's smiling, laughter easy and comfortable among the six of them. Even though he's smiling, Katsuki knows that leaving this, leaving his friends, was going to painful, no matter how you spin it.

It was real fucking bittersweet when he had to say goodbye to Jirou and Kaminari, threatening them to send their address so him and Deku as soon as they fucking settle down, so he and Deku can come by to visit. And obviously, vice fuckin' versa.

They're all going their separate ways. Mina and Eijirou are moving to Los Angeles to kick-start the pink-haired girl's fashion design career. Sero actually got scouted to play major league, lucky bastard, and was moving to Philadelphia to play for the Phillies. Katsuki would never fucking admit it out loud, but he's so proud of all these goddamn idiots. He's gonna miss the shit out of them.

He's spent four years in that shitty Boston apartment, and Katsuki has to admit, it was still hard to walk away. But what was waiting for him was so much more – a bright, shining new future. One that he'll get to build together with Deku. And shit doesn't get much better than that.

An hour later, an exchange of phone numbers with Deku friends, because those fuckers are actually awesome, okay?, and amicable prolonged hug between himself and Ochaco, Katsuki and Izuku make their way to the moving truck parked just outside.

There's a sense of deja-vu. The dry summer air. The old leather scent of the moving truck. Katsuki remembers watching green eyes disappear behind him as he left the first time around. But this time, those same eyes are sitting passenger seat, sparkling with a mirth that Katsuki will probably never get tired of.

"I get to play my music the whole way, okay?" Deku says with such a huge smile on his face. Katsuki just shakes his head and rolls his eyes.

It's not going to be easy. Shit with their parents is still fucked, and likely will be, for a while. Katsuki's term starts in just a few weeks, and Izuku still needs to find a job. Plus, the challenge of living together for the first time, in a place neither one of them has ever been, embarking on this entire new journey with no safety wheels.

But whether they succeed or crash and burn, it doesn't matter. As long as they're together.

He puts the truck into drive and gives his boyfriend one last look.

"You ready, Izuku?"