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Mutually Satisfactory Arrangements (Harry Potter Post-Canon)

This is a commissioned story started four years ago. I will be posting a chapter a day on this website until I'm done. Currently, there are 40 chapters over on HF and QQ (links to those sites in my Author's Thoughts) if you want to read ahead. Synopsis: Harry Potter has been the Head Auror at the Auror Office for nearly two decades now. He's done a lot in that time to reform Wizarding Britain's justice system. And sometimes he does a little something for himself as well, when a beautiful woman comes into his office looking for leniency for their husband or family member.

CambrianBeckett · Book&Literature
Not enough ratings
61 Chs

Luna Lovegood

"Thank you very much for agreeing to this interview, Harry. I've heard such concerning… and intriguing rumors about you of late."

Lifting a brow at that, Harry steeples his fingers together as he considers Luna Lovegood for a moment. Well, Luna Scamander technically, but it was all but impossible for Harry to see the blonde witch as anything besides her original name. It was just so… her. Even now, she embodied the extremely quirky young woman that Harry had known in his latest years at Hogwarts.

Still, that had been a long time for both of them. While she might still be eccentric, Luna was very much a woman grown these days… and a mother besides. But then, motherhood had clearly been good for the beautiful blonde witch. She was positively glowing, her serene disposition and immaculate composure giving her an air to her that couldn't be beat by anyone else he knew. Luna was one of a kind, and she always would be.

Still, he'd been surprised when she'd contacted him. They were friends, and they always would be, if perhaps not as close as some others. But Luna had spent much of the last decade with her husband and their children, traveling from this place to that, spending very little time in Great Britain save for events such as the Quidditch World Cup and major holidays.

She'd shown up when needed, taking part in his and the lives of those close to him only fleetingly. In the end, Luna was probably the person closest to Harry that he saw and thought about the least. That thought brings a slight smile to his face, as Harry sits there in the cushioned, high back armchair, regarding the blonde witch. She was a contradiction to the end.

"Well, I could scarcely say no to my favorite reporter, now could I?"

Luna's smile quirks up a bit, but her response is a correction, even if it's delivered with that same serenity everything she says is.

"Editor-in-chief now actually, Harry. You should know that. Ah, but I so very rarely get to get out into the field anymore and stretch my legs."

Harry's own smile fades a bit in bemusement. Luna is as… quirky as ever, that's for sure. But then, yes, he did know that. He knew Luna was both the owner and sole employee of the Quibbler, ever since her father's retirement. He knew she was the editor-in-chief of her one woman 'newspaper', which these days was more akin to a magazine that came out sporadically every few months. He was probably one of a handful of people who knew these things, given that he'd 'earned' a lifetime subscription to the Quibbler for his victory over Voldemort all those years ago.

He was aware that some of their friends had received the same 'privilege', but Harry rather suspected that he was the only one who actually still read each issue of the Quibbler quite faithfully. Some of the things Luna had discovered in her travels and wrote about in the Quibbler were truly amazing, once one looked past the rather silly conspiracy theories.

Still, bowing his head slightly in response to Luna's rebuke, Harry modulates his tone to apologetic as he replies.

"Of course. My bad. Now, what did you wish to discuss in such an official manner, Luna?"

He'd given a couple interviews to the Quibbler, over the years. But those had been fairly early on, back when he was younger, and Luna was still unattached. She'd married later in life than he and Ginny, or Ron and Hermione. For a few years, she'd given her all to the Quibbler, and he'd done his best to help her with that. It'd been a long time since the last though, and Harry couldn't deny that he was intrigued by what 'intriguing' rumors she'd heard about him.

Luna, meanwhile, straightens up the moment Harry says the word official. She sits across from him in the sitting room that came with his private quarters while he stayed at Hogwarts. The fireplace is currently burning brightly but quietly thanks to a silencing charm, and the absence of the crackling of flames on logs is noticeable as Luna pauses for a moment to consider her reply to his question.

That in and of itself is a surprise. Luna has never been a very taciturn girl, especially when a question has been posited towards her. She's always got an answer of some sorts. This time though, she takes her time before answering him with that same smile as usual on her matured face. When she does, it's all business, and she even has one leg crossed over the other, sitting primly on the edge of her own high back armchair as she holds pen and notepad in hand.

"It has come to the Quibbler's attention that you may have come into contact with Heliopaths recently, as part of you discharging your duties as Head Auror. While the removal of Fudge and the defeat of Voldemort has seen Fudge's private army of Heliopaths vanished to parts unknown for the last couple of decades, I worry that they may be trying to influence you, Harry."

She actually sounds concerned. Harry notes that, in the midst of his bewilderment over what she's saying. His first reaction is to deny, as he truly has no idea what Luna is talking about. Heliopaths? Fire spirits? It's been a LONG time since Luna spoke about Fudge's nonexistent private army, that's for sure. Still, taken aback as he is, Harry pauses for a moment to actually parse what Luna is saying.

As he stares into Luna's eyes, looking past her vapid, serene smile for a moment, Harry begins to realize that there might be more layers to Luna Lovegood than even he thought. Blinking dumbly, Harry finds his mind drawn to a pair of witches connected to fire that had come into contact with him in the past year through his work as Head Auror.

Veela were beautiful, charming creatures with intense allures that could convince some of the strongest wizards to drool over them. But when angered, full veela transformed into something more akin to harpies than humans… and they gained the ability to launch balls of fire and flame from their hands when they did so. Harry finds himself beginning to smile as he considers Fleur and Victoire as his own personal 'heliopaths'. A soft chuckle leaves his lips as he shakes his head and shrugs his shoulders.

"I do have to wonder where you get your sources, Luna."

Luna's back is straight, and her nose is turned up a bit, even as she smiles at him.

"A true reporter never reveals her sources, Harry. Nor does an editor-in-chief."

Grinning now, Harry nods.

"Of course, of course. Well, I suppose for you, I can confirm it. I did have some contact with a pair of heliopaths, recently. A mother and her daughter, one might say. But you need not worry, Luna. While they were causing some trouble, it turns out that 'heliopaths' are easily tamed once one knows how to properly handle them."

Luna lifts a brow at that, but she's already jotting down notes, her pen scratching at paper at a rapid pace. Harry is half-tempted to cast a spell that would let him see from over her shoulder. A simple scrying spell launched at the fabric of the high back armchair over her head would give him a nice view… ah, but he refrains. Luna had always been more attuned to magic than most he knew. And besides… where would the fun be in spying?

In the end, Luna looks up again after several moments of furious scratches, her face now actually slightly pensive. Harry's surprised by that, even as she stares at him, cocking her head to the side.

"Now we get to the more concerning rumors. The same sources tell me you've been interacting with gulping plimpies as well. Any truth to that?"

Gulping plimpies… an unflattering comparison if Harry ever heard one. His mind is thrown back to the distant past, memories of where he found Luna during the war, rescuing her from beneath the Malfoy Manor after she'd been imprisoned there for months. If this conversation is innuendo for what he thinks it is, there's really only one group of witches that Luna could possibly be referencing.

Chuckling darkly, Harry shrugs his shoulders once more.

"Perhaps. But I can tell you this, Luna. If I have been… it's to make sure that they don't end up bothering anyone else, ever again."

And he means that, even if his reasons for dominating the female Malfoys (including Draco, or 'Jocasta' as she was now called) were fairly selfish in the end. No matter his reasons, the ultimately result is still the same. The Malfoy family has been reduced to a bunch of women addicted to his cock. Not a single one of them is plotting to take control of the wizarding world, not a single one of them is going to so much as cause trouble at this point. Harry has them under his thrall, and that's not changing any time soon.

Luna doesn't look quite as thrilled as he might expect, given his response. She frowns instead, her brow furrowing as she shakes her head, not writing anything down on her notepad.

"It's not 'anyone else' I'm worried about, Harry. Gulping plimpies are well known for their diseases. I wouldn't want you to catch anything."

She sounds so innocent and concerned, Harry almost finds himself doubting his belief that they're having a conversation beneath their current conversation in this moment. In the end, he just shrugs Luna's words off and shakes his head in response to her concern.

"Not to worry Luna. I'm being very safe."

He doesn't mean to, but his tone still comes off as quite pandering. Yet, rather than grow annoyed or irritated as a normal witch might have done, Luna's concern and frown and furrowed brow melt away just like that, replaced once more by her serene smile and pleasant expression.

"That's good to hear, Harry. Let's continue then, shall we?"

What follows is all sorts of names for all sorts of imaginary magical creatures as Luna practically goes down a list. Harry matches each of the creatures she says he's come into contact with to one of his female conquests over the past year, and regales Luna with references from said conquests. There's some old names that Harry recognizes from his Hogwarts years with Luna, such as nargles and snorkacks. But then there's also some new names that Harry doesn't remember at all.

From blibbering humdingers to umgubular slaskkilters, Harry finds himself trying to assign each of the wildly ridiculous imaginary creatures to a witch he's fucked and dominated in the last several months. Sometimes Luna seems more approving of the 'magical creatures' Harry has interacted with then others, and sometimes she makes more comments about being worried over him catching something.

In the end, Luna puts down her pen and notepad quite abruptly, and a baffled Harry sits back and watches her as she shakes her head in concern.

"All of these creatures… you've been a busy man, Harry James Potter. Best to make sure you haven't been harmed by any of them."

Before he can even react, Luna is up out of her chair and swishing her wand in his direction. Harry tenses in expectance of some curse or hex, his own wand slipping from his wrist holster into his hand, but instead all he feels is a breeze down below, as the skin on his ass presses into the cushion beneath him without any barriers between the two. His pants vanished, Harry's cock immediately begins to harden in the open air, even as Luna stalks forward, an uncharacteristically determined look on her pretty face.

Her hand closes around his shaft as Harry decides NOT to curse the blonde witch from here to back again. Still, even as he makes a conscious effort to set his wand aside, Luna's ministrations are quickly bringing him to full mast as she stares down at his cock.

"Luna, I-!"

Before he can get another word out, Harry finds himself cut off by a hiss that leaves his lips as Luna draws his fingernails along his length, from the base up to the tip. Her eyes finally dart from his member to his face as she frowns severely.

"Shush, Harry. Don't interrupt me, this is important."

He's… flabbergasted. There's no other word for it. This is ridiculous, it's… Luna is studying his cock like she's actually a practicing mediwitch, even though they both know she isn't. Still, he can't deny that it isn't hot. The blonde witch, mother of twins, is bent over at the waist as she 'examines' his member. In truth, it's very obvious she's giving him a somewhat rough handjob. Especially when her free hand comes up between his legs and cups his balls in a rather aggressive manner.

He's never had any witch treat him like this before. As he sits back in the armchair under Luna's none-to-tender ministrations, he finds himself quite enjoying the change of pace. His lips thinned into a line on his face and his hands clutching at the arms of his cushioned seat, Harry holds back his groans and hisses as much as he can as Luna works him over, tilting her head this way and that as she jerks his cock that way and this.

She's really making a show of studying him, of studying his length. As if she actually thinks he might have caught something, even if they both know that's impossible. Harry has always been nothing but careful with his intimate interactions. Magic is quite good at keeping one healthy, and in many ways its even ahead of muggle science still in that field. There's absolutely no, fuck, no chance of him having caught anything from the witches he's dominated and fucked over the past year, but damn is Luna good at working the shaft!

"You really shouldn't be spending so much time with such a variety of creatures, Harry. Not all of them have the cleanliest of habits, you know. They can leave all sorts of things behind once you're done with them."

It's a testament to Luna being Luna that she's able to perfectly do her usual airy, vapid voice while also giving Harry the best handjob he's ever had. And maybe it's a testament to some hidden away part of Harry's psyche that he's immensely turned on by both Luna's usual attitude, and her technique. A groan finally escapes his mouth as Luna's rough treatment of his shaft and balls finally yields results.

His load is as thick, viscous, and large as ever. His seed explodes from his cockhead, and Luna barely has time to rear back before it splatters across her face, chest, and the rest of her. By the time Harry is done cumming, Luna's front is covered in his seed from her head to her toes. Reaching up with one dainty pale hand, Luna wipes his cum from her eyes and mouth. She looks down at his member for a moment, and Harry does as well, both of them acknowledging in that same second that he's still rock hard, especially with the cum-covered blonde cutie standing right in front of him looking so perfectly fine with her current predicament.

"There's still some left, from the looks of things. I'll have to force it out of you."

Harry opens his mouth to respond to that, but finds the words dying in his throat as Luna shucks off her business jacket, followed by unbuttoning her blouse. After that, her official-looking pencil skirt goes to the wayside as well, and she removes her panties, leaving only her stockings and her bra in place as she moves closer in. Most of his seed is left on her clothing as she discards it, and what cum landed on her face is already licked up as she crawls onto Harry's lap without a care in the world.

When Luna's wet pussy lips slide along his cock's length for a moment, Harry finds himself opening his mouth again, even as his hands finally leave the arms of his armchair and latch onto Luna's pale waist. For a mother of twins, the blonde witch looks absolutely fantastic, as one might expect from a life of travel and new and exciting places. It's very clear that Luna has been living her best life for quite a long time now.

Still, Harry's not sure what he's going to say to her when he opens his mouth this second time. He doesn't get to find out either, because Luna places her index finger against his lips, silencing him as her bra-clad breasts hover in front of his face, not quite as big as some of the witches he's been with, but certainly bigger than they were back when she was naught but a young woman still attending Hogwarts. Luna has grown up… and in all the best ways.

"I'm going to have to ask you to be silence for the duration of this procedure, Harry. It's very important."

His look of incredulity must have shown through clearly, because Luna's serene smile spreads a bit as she elaborates.

"You need to leave this to the professional Harry. I wouldn't tell you how to arrest a dark wizard, now would I? Please, let the qualified Magizoologist in the room do her job."

Despite her words, Harry still speaks… though in the end, it's just to say her name in a bit of an exasperated tone.

"Luna…"

However, he barely gets that out before she abruptly sinks down on his cock, her pussy lips suddenly surrounding the tip of his member and then a lot more of it as she descends. Luna's pale face grows ever so slightly red as her lips part, but no sound emerges from the blonde witch, even as she fills herself with his sizable length. Harry, meanwhile, grunts at the sheer tightness of Luna's cunt, his eyes wide as he stares up at the blonde seated on his lap, now impaled on his cock.

She's not just tight, she's unbelievably so. Not just clenching at his cock… but purposefully massaging and grinding at his member. Her pussy seems quite capable of squeezing the life out of him, and Harry's hands on Luna's hips feel most like they're there so he can hold on for dear life, not so that he can control the pace of what's happening.

Oh no, there's no control being exercised here at all, at least not on Harry's end. He sits in the high back armchair and he watches Luna Lovegood ride him like there's no tomorrow, the eccentric blonde witch squeezing and gripping his length with her cunt walls like she did with her fingers. It's almost like her skilled, experienced hand is back on his cock, but a lot wetter, and a lot more pleasurable this time.

It takes all of his willpower to hold back his second climax, despite his first release happening only minutes before. Harry manages it, but it's a near thing… and his hold seems to slip perilously every so often as Luna pants and moans cutely atop him. She never cries out though. Her eyes don't roll back in her head in ecstasy. Her tongue doesn't lull out of her mouth like she's been fucked silly by his cock.

He's no smaller than he was with the other witches. It honestly makes Harry wonder just what kind of man Rolf Scamander is, that Luna takes his length inside of her without question, without problem, and effortlessly rides him straight to kingdom cum. Well, not straight there. Harry isn't that easy, and even if he's allowing this to happen, even if he's immensely enjoying every aspect of this, Harry still keeps a tenuous grasp on his release, wanting to extend said enjoyment for as long as humanly possible.

Luna abruptly growls, and leans forward, planting Harry's face firmly in her cleavage. Her silky, lacy bra rubs against the stubble on his chin, but its her soft boob flesh that runs across his nose. Harry instantly inhales, and finds the smell of Luna's chest, of Luna herself, to be quite heavenly. At the same time, Luna's arms wrap around him, and the same finger nails from before claw at his back. Harry very nearly loses control of himself then and there, but he manages to hold on for dear life a few moments longer all the same.

At the same time, his fingers are digging harshly into Luna's sides, his digits pushing against her pale skin hard enough to no doubt leave marks when they're done. It must be painful, it must be uncomfortable… but Luna never so much as comments on it. She doesn't tell him to stop, hell, she doesn't give him a single command at all beyond telling him to let her do her job. Which… even if Luna is a magical naturalist, there's very little connection at best between her 'job' and what they're doing right now.

Harry isn't complaining though, and he's not going to. Not now, and not after. As Luna fucks him, as she rides him and undulates across his cock, gyrating her hips back and forth along his length, Harry groans into her chest, inhaling her scent and enjoying every bit of her insides. Her inner walls clench down on him in a way Harry doesn't think any of his witches could compete with. It takes him a while to realize it, but Luna has complete and utter control of her body. It makes for impressive leverage in intimate situations like this one, that's for sure.

"Harry~ you need to stop holding back."

Luna's voice suddenly reaches his ears, and his green eyes dart up to meet her blue from where his face is buried in her cleavage. She looks a little exasperated herself now, even if she's redder than when they began, the pleasure of their coupling taking a tole on her as well. Still, she lets out a sigh and pulls one hand back from around him, bringing it up between his face and her bra-clad tits instead.

A moment later, her tits aren't 'bra-clad' anymore as Luna undoes the front-facing clasp on the white lacy undergarment and her bra falls to the sides like some sort of extremely skimpy, extremely sexy vest. Her breasts, the breasts that she no doubt fed her twins on, bounce free of their confines. Perfectly shaped, beautifully supple, and superbly pale, they almost seem to stare Harry in the eye as he leans back to regard them for a moment.

Then, Luna reaches around to the back of his head and laces her fingers through his messy black hair, dragging him in close.

"This is what you want, Harry."

His lips smash against one of her nipples, and Harry finds himself suckling, nibbling, and slurping at it almost instinctively. His cock throbs inside of Luna's squeezing, clenching cunt as she lets out a particularly delighted gasp. Part of Harry thinks it might be what Luna wanted as well, just as much as it being something he unknowingly desired. It's not like she's lactating or anything. There's no sweet, warm stream of delicious milk that hits his tongue for him to swallow.

She just offers her absolutely perfect breasts to him, no barrier between the two of them anymore… and Harry dives in, finding her tits to be just… amazing. And Luna isn't wrong either. As she rides him once more and Harry slurps from one nipple to the next, leaving bite marks on her tit-flesh to match the scratches Luna is leaving on his back, he quickly finds his already tenuous grip on his body slipping fast.

But Harry doesn't mind anymore. In fact, in the end he doesn't try to hold on for much longer. He just… let's go. Well aware that Luna still hasn't cum (or if she has, she's fucking superb at hiding it) Harry allows his second release to arrive. The blonde witch milks him of his seed once more, and this time it fills her waiting cunt, reaching all the way to her womb as he pumps and pumps and pumps. His load is no smaller than it was the first time, his cum filling her to the brim and then some before he's finished.

And yet… and yet, Luna is very clearly not satisfied. Harry is a bit dumbfounded as he comes down from his own pleasure high, but Luna just has this frown on her face that tells him they're not quite done yet. Before the wizard quite realizes what's happening, Luna is using her unusual command of her hot, wet insides to massage his softening prick back to full mast while it's still inside of her. Harry grunts as his length grows thick and hard within her once more.

It's not that he's never gone multiple times at once before, but there's just something different about Luna, like the girl is going to fuck the life right out of him if left untouched. Yet, Harry can't really bring himself to check her. He's having too much fun with the blonde witch, and in truth, he can't wait to see what she does next.

Luna pulls herself off of his erection and at the same time pushes him back into the armchair with some force. Harry hisses as the scratches she's left behind are made readily apparent when his naked back makes contact with the high back of the chair. When… when did he even lose his shirt now that he thinks about it?

He remembers Luna vanishing his pants and boxers with her wand, but he can't quite recall when she did the same with his shirt. Perhaps he was too lost in the pleasure of her cunt and breasts to really notice. Now, he's left just sitting there, staring up at Luna in just a bit of reverent awe. The blonde witch stands before him naked save for her stockings and her shoes, staring at him as if she's still trying to figure out how to 'save' or 'fix' him.

Finally, she turns around and makes a blatant show of spreading her pale butt cheeks wide as she exposes her asshole and begins to 'back it up' in his direction.

"We'll have to resort to dire measures to get rid of all the wrackspurts, Harry."

Harry's mouth opens… and then slams shut. Now did not seem the time to remind Luna that wrackspurts were supposed to float around one's EARS, not their genitals. Especially not when the blonde witch was about to impale her ass on his cock perfectly willingly. As she closes in, Luna pulls one hand away from cheek-spreading duty and grabs hold of Harry's throbbing, messy member. She guides him to her sphincter, causing his breath to hitch as cockhead meets back door and back door begins to give way.

With a growl, Harry's hands come up again and grab onto Luna's hips. In the next moment, the two of them work together to fulfill one single purpose. Slamming Luna down onto Harry's big, fat, waiting rod. Her lily-white behind is almost instantly impaled as she sits back down on his lap, this time facing away from him. Her ass, pristine as one might expect, is even tighter than her cunt… but no less under Luna's control.

Harry's mind is on the fritz at this point, or at least it certainly feels like it is. His thoughts are going haywire, his brain a bit fuzzy. Shit, maybe he does have some wrackspurts to deal with… but no, Harry doesn't think so. He's pretty sure this is all Luna, her amazing body, and her absolutely unique personality contributing to form one fantastic sexual experience that Harry won't be forgetting anytime soon.

He groans as her butt clenches down on him in the same exact way as her cunt did, albeit even tighter. He growls as he digs his fingers even deeper into Luna's sides, beginning to thrust his hips upwards to meet her as she pushes her ass down his length again and again. Her feet are still on the ground, she's not fully seated on him… but Harry doesn't care. As her butt slams into his crotch repeatedly, her pale skin ends up red, and her buttocks soon becomes a jiggling mess of the color as she starts to let out throaty moans.

Perhaps this is Luna Lovegood's weakness. Anal. But no, that almost feels too pedestrian after all that's happened so far. More likely, at least in Harry's opinion, Luna is just finally getting close after already milking two loads of cum from him. With a growl that borders on feral, Harry redoubles his efforts. He pounds his way up into Luna's ass as it in turn descends down onto his thick cock, gripping and squeezing and clenching all the while.

That ferality only seems to grow within the wizard as he gets more and more into it. Part of him is focused on making sure he doesn't cum too soon… but the vast majority of his attention is now targeting Luna for even a single climax of her own! With an aggressive roar, Harry abruptly stands up from his chair, his hands-on Luna's hips keeping her from pitching all the way forward as he rams into her from behind.

The blonde witch's moans grow louder still under his fresh onslaught of thrusting, and her legs spread wider apart to accommodate him, even as she ends up flush against his chest, her head lulling back on her shoulder as she vocally expresses her enjoyment of what he's currently doing to her. Yet, she's still not 'breaking' like so many of the other witches he's met.

There's no eyes rolling about, no tongue hanging out of her mouth, even now. Her mouth is open, and she's moaning, but of course she is, her ass is squeezing down on him and it's clear she's enjoying every last thrust of his cock into her back door. Yet, Luna doesn't beg him to fuck her more. It's as if there's an understanding between them, in which he WILL fuck her more, or there WILL be consequences.

Harry's not afraid though, nor very concerned. He's not worried about any consequences… no, he's more worried that this blonde witch that he's had so little contact with the last two decades will leave here unsatisfied, the first woman to exhaust him without cumming in his entire life. Harry's not about to let that happen. His pride demands he do better than that. Just once… just once he wants to hear Luna's voice as she cums, as she squirts.

To that end, Harry finally moves his hands off of the standing blonde's hips, even as he continues to fuck her as hard as he can from behind, plowing her ass with all his remaining strength. His hands first go to her breasts, his fingers digging into her perfectly shaped tits in a way that adds a certain breathy lilt to Luna's moans.

Eventually, he takes things a step further still, and one of his hands slides from her chest down to between her legs. As he pistons in and out of her ass, Harry fingers Luna's sopping cunt and thumbs at her clit with an urgency he's never felt before, and a ferocity that's rarely been pulled from where it slumbers within him.

He growls into the blonde witch's ear as she moans, thrusting into her oh-so-tight ass again and again with all his might. And in the end… it's still not quite enough. Harry does end up cumming a third time before Luna reaches her first orgasm. But only by about half a second. The moment that his seed hits her bowels, the moment she feels his sticky, hot cum painting her insides white once again, Luna finally cries out and finally orgasms all over his hand and his lower legs.

Harry's seed fills her to the brim yet again, even as she squirts both her own pussy juices and some of his second load of cum out onto the floor of the sitting room. The two of them climax together, ultimately, but when they come down from their pleasure highs, its Harry who ends up falling back into the armchair with a grunt, his cock sliding free of Luna's back door with a pop as his seed begins to leak out of her hole a moment later.

He's never felt like such a… such a sweaty mess. Not once in his entire life. Harry finds himself panting for breath as he sits in the chair, barely even noticing the stinging from the scratches on his back. He's just… tired. Tired in a way that's never truly happened to him before. He's gone longer than three loads before, and with multiple women too. But Luna is undeniably something special. She's completely and utterly outdid every witch that came before her. Three loads with her is like… like a sexual decathlon that Harry is honestly surprised to have finished.

Meanwhile, Luna straightens up as he falls back into the chair. Slowly, she turns around and offers him a wide smile on her perpetually serene face as she closes the distance between them once more with a single step, leaning over Harry with a loving look in her eyes.

"Thank you so much for granting me such great insights to all those magical creatures, Harry. The Quibbler appreciates your cooperation, and your patronage."

Closing the final bit of distance between their two lips, Luna gives him a deep, wet kiss. Harry's tongue intertwines with the blonde witch's for a moment as they kiss, and when she pulls back, their tongues trail a line of saliva between them that eventually breaks. Luna offers Harry another beaming smile as she continues to stare down into his exhausted green eyes.

"I hope that you'll be amenable to offering the Quibble more first-hand accounts in the future."

After everything, Harry doesn't even really know what to say to that. That's fine though, because Luna doesn't wait for a response. She merely straightens up, gives him her usual smile, collects her wand, and prances from the sitting room wearing nothing but her stockings and shoes. A moment later, Harry hears the telltale sound of the painting to his private quarters being opened from the inside, and then a few scandalized shouts from the paintings lining the corridor just outside his room before it swings shut again.

A palm finds its way to Harry's face as he lets out a sigh. Because of course she would. Of course she would do all of that, and then leave her clothes behind while she went skipping naked through Hogwarts. Just like old times, right? A slightly manic, slightly unhinged chuckle bubbles its way up through Harry's throat. He shakes his head at Luna's antics, smiling in spite of himself at the kind of woman she's become.

Then, he realizes something. She only took her wand with her. Her notepad and pen still rest on the chair across from him. It takes some strength Harry doesn't have, but he pulls himself out of his comfortable armchair and stumbles across the room naked to grab the notepad up, curious to see just what Luna was writing down during their 'interview'.

What he finds isn't any notes, or any words. It's… it's a flipbook, if he utilizes it properly. A flipbook of exactly what they just got done doing together. The little drawing of Luna stands up and strips, then gives the little drawing of Harry a handjob before proceeding to fuck him using both of her orifices. Now the unhinged laughter does come, as Harry finds himself falling to his knees before Luna's armchair, making the mundane flipbook spiral through its showing of their activities again and again.

He wonders briefly how she knew how things were going to go. But that's a silly, stupid thought, isn't it? From the very beginning, Luna knew how she intended things to go… and she made them go in that direction, because that was what she wanted from him. Oh, she probably wanted the interview for the Quibbler as well, and Harry would be waiting with baited breath for the next issue of said newspaper, but it was obvious that whether you wanted to call her eccentric or loony, Luna Lovegood had come here with a plan… and she'd executed it perfectly, while giving him the time of his life.

It takes Harry a little while to stop laughing. Tears stream down his face at the absolute absurdity that is Luna Lovegood. But in the end, he pulls himself together and gets cleaned up. A few hours later, he even cleans up the sitting room as well. And the notepad, the mundane flipbook that Luna had been making throughout their interview together… that takes up a special place on his nightstand beside his bed in the private quarters lent to him by the Headmistress.

He's not likely to forget Luna's visit any time soon, that's for sure.

-x-X-x-

About a week later, Harry finds himself reading Luna's article in the Quibbler over a spot of private breakfast. He's glad it's private, because honestly, he's not sure he would have been able to contain all of his outbursts even if he was in the Great Hall with the faculty and students.

"Oh come on! How does she even know about that?!"

Harry's tone is incredulity, and his brow is furrowed in abject confusion as his eyes trace across line after line of the front-page article regarding "Harry Potter's Encounters with Magical Creatures". It's obvious that Luna remembered every moment of their interview, despite not taking notes. But there was the fact that she kept mentioning details from his conquests that he hadn't told her that really had the wizard incredulous.

In the end though, Harry really doesn't have anything to say by the time he gets to the end of the article. Though, Luna's small mention of the "fantastic, wild ride that Harry Potter took this reporter on" does put a small smile on his face. Still, his amusement and satisfaction are vastly overshadowed by sheer bafflement, at the end of the day. He's as flabbergasted now as he was then, and bewilderment feels like a word that describes his entire existence in that moment, as he scratches his head and lets out an explosive sigh over his meal, still staring at the article before him.

Yet, even as focused and engrossed as he is by the article, it still takes Harry a bit of time to notice something. The first letters of the first dozen plus lines or so of the article spell something out. He only really sees it because the first five letters come out to be 'Harry Potter', almost as if they're a clarion call for him and him alone.

The full message on the other hand, is probably not meant for him alone. Harry finds himself chuckling a little, and once again face palming as he manages to figure out exactly what it says along the edge of the article. Luna had done this before, in past issues of the Quibbler. It'd been a long time since she'd hidden an alternative title for her article in such a way though, but then, Harry supposed she'd done it this time to spare her aging father if he read the damn thing.

'Harry Potter, a Sex God?' was likely to give the old wizard a bit of a heart attack, if he didn't already know the kind of woman his daughter was. But then, the more Harry thought about it, the more he wondered if Xenophilius DID know all about Luna. He found himself wondering what Luna's mother was like, back when she still lived.

But ultimately, what Harry found himself wondering most of all was when Luna would come back around again. Hm, he should probably get on collecting a few more stories about 'magical creatures' for her before she came calling once more. Though, he didn't think they'd be doing much talking the next time they met in private. Not if he had anything to say about it.

-x-X-x-

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