Telling them

'It's not like its my place to meddle with this matter, but Fujioka-san , are you going to tell your club mates about the truth?'

Konan rolled over her bed and raised her phone, she stared at the message Rui sent her "The truth huh?". She laid on her side and typed her reply. ' You mean about my condition?'

A minute later her phone lit up with Rui's reply. 'Yes. I think they deserved to know the truth since you'll be working with each other.'

A good point actually. Her condition isn't anything that needs to be hidden, it's just that she got used to people judging and misunderstanding her that she found it unnecessary to explain her side and tell them the truth. She believes that nothing's gonna change even if she explained the truth to people.

' I will tell them. ' She sent her reply and put the phone the her table, turning of the lampshade in the process. She crawled in her bed and raised the duvet to her chest. The warm feeling it brought instantly made her sleepy. Her phone beeped, probably Rui's reply but she's too sleepy to get it and ended up ignoring the text as she slowly drifted off to oblivion. Konan slowly gotten used to Rui's message every night. Unlike before when her phone only rings with the alarm and occasional online notifications, now it beeps and lights up with his messages.

Having a friend really brought changes in her life.

_______

"Okay class, that's it for today's PE." Their young and hip PE instructor yelled, clapping her hands. " Don't forget to dry off your sweats and change clothes."

"Yes ma'am." A chorused shout of her whole section filled the open space. They then went to their respective locker rooms. Konan quickly and quietly changed contrary to her girl classmates who were chattering about

their bodies like it's the first time they've seen it.

"You sure got a nice figure huh Fujioka-san." Konan stopped raising her skirt halfway through her legs when someone talked. Did she heard it right? It was her name. Somebody said her name. As far as she knows, there couldn't be any other Fujioka in her class. She raised her head to see who spoked. A girl with pass her shoulder length hair is standing in front of her with a smile.

Konan pointed her finger to herself. "Me?"

The girl gave her a brief stare and giggled.

"Pffft, "

Konan just watched her as she continued giggling. Some girls also looked at them.

When the girl stopped giggling, she wiped the tear in her eye. "I'm sorry I laughed, i just found it funny. I mean, who else would be Fujioka in our class other than you?" She explained.

'She's right. ' There isn't any other person with the same family name as her in their class. But wait. 'Who's this girl again?' she asked herself. Konan stared at the girl and tried to remember her name, unintentionally staring hard at her.

"Oh but don't misunderstand it, i wasn't making fun of you." The girl said awkwardly which brought Konan back to her senses.

"I didn't take it the wrong way. Don't worry." Konan explained as she raised her skirt up all the way to her hips and zipped it. She forgot that she paused the action earlier.

"Is that so? I'm relieved, I thought you hated me." the girl said and heaved a quiet sigh.

"I don't, I'm just staring at you because i don't know your name."

"Wha--- " the girl looked at her like she can't believe what she heard. Then she smiled which puzzled Konan. " Honestly, Fujioka-san you need to remember your classmates name."

"Right." Konan agreed, nodding her head.

"I'm Rin. Akemi Rin."

"Akemi-san. " Konan muttered. " I'll call you Akemi-san, is that okay?" She asked. The girl nodded. "Sure. Well then, let's get going for our next class." She shut her locker and faced Konan.

"Sure." Konan said as she closed her own locker.

Well that was new. She can't believe someone initiated a talk with her. Konan thought about it the whole class, which is just a self-study since their teacher had an emergency came up.

" So, are you gonna tell them? " Rui suddenly asked in a low voice which disrupted Konan's thoughts. He slightly leaned towards her. She answered him with a lazy nod.

"Good." He said and went back to his seat. They didn't talk after that since Konan immediately went to the clubroom. They've been doing a brainstorming on what event is to highlight in their journal for the upcoming Valentine's event. Their leader Hana have been frantic.

"The events in two days, we need to do our best. I'm sorry to be working you this way guys." She said as she flip over the pages of the previous journals of the previous club members.

"You're really into this huh, club pres. " Ami muttered, her eyes fixed to the journals but unlike Hana, she is leisurely flipping the pages, while she sucked a lollipop.

" Of course Ami, it's our last year at this school, we're going to University next school opening. We need to publish good journals."

"Understood Pres." Ami lazily answered.

"Take this seriously, will you? When Fujioka and I will graduate you're gonna be the next club president." Hana said, rather irritated. The two eventually bickered. On the other hand, Konan is staring at the page of a journal but her mind isn't into it, she is contemplating whether she would tell them today or not. She never told people of her condition, Rui found out through her mother. Is it really a good idea to tell them?

"Konan? Earth to Konan?" Konan jolted back from her reverie and looked at her companions when Ami's voice reached her mind.

"Huh?" She absent mindedly asked.

"Were you thinking something? I was asking you if you have any idea yet but you didn't hear me. Is something bothering you?" Hana asked her. Ami also nodded her head in agreement.

"Oh, nothing. I'm sorry."

"Really?" Ami asked, Konan felt something off with her voice but couldn't point it out.

"Actually, there is." Konan shut the journal she was reading and shoved it aside. She looked at her club mates' eyes. " Will you hear me out?" The girls nodded.

"What do you think of me?" she asked. The two looked at each other's eyes and back to Konan.

"You are intelligent but cold. From what I heard, no one wants to talk to you either because they're scared of you or they found you boring. They call you Dry-ice. They said your heart's as cold as ice and as hard as stone. But I really think you are a good person." Hana spoke first. Konan averted her eyes to Ami.

"You're scary but cool. In books and mangas, I always loved cold female characters but warm- hearted and kind inside. You're eyes really look intimidating and your resting face is scary. But overall, I like you."

"I'm nothing like that Ami, they are right. I'm a dry ice, my heart's as hard as stone and I don't feel any emotions," Konan said, the two looked at her, silently with eyes widen. " ,.. not because I want to but because it's who I am. I am diagnosed with a rare condition called Alexithymia. I don't feel emotions and I don't recognize emotions from others. I can recognize tears as crying, laugh and smile as happy and glare as angry or disappointed and wide eyes as shock."

"You're eyes are wide, are you two shocked?" Konan asked. Hana was the first one to recover, she shook her head and met Konan's gaze. "So that explains it. I was always wondering how you never showed any emotions."

"I can't believe it, no more like I don't like to believe it." Ami mumbled. Konan and Hana turned to look at her.

"Konan-chan, I've seen emotions flash in your eyes. Am I just seeing things then?"

"What do you mean Ami?" Hana asked, beating Konan to the question.

"I've seen how Konan-chan looked at the wisterias by the window. When that guy who's always with you waited for you at the locker, I saw how your eyes widen for a second. As well as when I handed you the invitation form. Tell me Konan-chan, are you really emotionless?" Ami asked, Konan froze at the question. What does she mean? She knew herself too well and she's been emotionless since young. How can Ami said she saw emotions in her eyes when she, herself isn't aware of it?

"You really took a good observation at her huh?"

"Like I said, I like girls with cold personalities so I kinda observed her."

Their voice seemed distant to Konan as her mind is going haywire. How can such nonsense words from Ami mess up her head like this? It feels like she doesn't know herself. Did her eyes really show emotions?

Now her head started to throb. She stood up, her chair made a loud scraping noise and her hand unintentionally slammed on the table which startled the two. Konan also got startled by her own action and immediately apologized.

"I'm sorry but my head hurts? Can I go home ahead of you two?" She said and hurriedly walked towards the door. Before she could open the door and walk out, Hana called her.

"Fujioka?"

Konan halted and turned her head towards them.

"Thank you for explaining to us, it's really an honor." She said and gave a warm smile, only that Konan didn't know it is warm.

Konan nodded and excused herself once again. She hurried home, too occupied to realise that Rui isn't waiting at his usual spot in the locker to walk with her until they separate ways to their homes.

Only when the night came, and Konan is laying on her bed that she realized it. For her, it was unusual since he always wait for her. She checked her phone to see if there's any messages. There really is, but it's last night's. The one she didn't bother to read because of sleepiness.

'Fujioka-san, I can't walk home with you tomorrow since I have a club practice. Be safe on your way home :)'

Konan turned her phone off and opened the window, allowing night air to enter. She leaned at the windowsill, staring at the stars.

Since when did that guy joined a club? She asked herself. She can just ask him tomorrow. More importantly, she needs to understand herself tonight.