Chapter 23

"Rachel, did you know? Nobody really sincere in loving someone."

After a moment of silence, Dimitri muttered under his breath as he stared straight ahead.

"It's not a mistake when you love someone. It's not a mistake to expect the one you love will love you as much..."

"...It's a human instinct, Rachel. No matter how we deny it, the feeling of wanting to be reciprocated and wanting to have it will always be there. It's the ego of the human heart."

Rachel was stunned, felt waked up to hear that.

What Dimitri said was absolutely true.

It would be a lie if Rachel said the desire to have Xavier had disappeared.

Hoping to be with Xavier the owner of the heart, then spend time together until grow old with him? Of course, the heart's desire is still there.

True love without expecting anything in return is just bullshit. If she wanted to follow her heart, Rachel wouldn't have insisted on rejecting Xavier, whom she loved, to this extent.

It's all a matter of choice.

Do you choose to follow the ego itself, or will you choose to stick to the logic that makes you realize that...

Fighting for or even taking something that already belongs to someone else is an unforgivable mistake.

And Rachel chose to side with logic, even though she knew her heart was very, very hurt.

"So yeah… it's kind of hypocritical, Rachel, to say… I don't expect anything from our friendship."

Rachel, who had been looking down deeply, then looked at the man next to her, "but, Dimitri—"

"It's okay." Dimitri cut in quickly before Rachel could finish speaking. "Just let everything flow like that. Ignore all my hopes for you, and let our friendship develop by itself as your wound heals..."

"...we'll never know the outcome until we try, Rachel."

Hearing this, Rachel sighed softly. It turned out that Dimitri was just as stubborn as Xavier. The man still didn't want to give up even though Rachel had openly refused and said she still loved someone else.

"Regardless of whether I succeed or not to become the new resident of your heart, that's my business. Because I chose to keep moving forward, even though I know you haven't finished with your past. So, don't feel burdened, okay?"

.

.

(*)

Rachel was lost in her own thoughts. Dimitri's words just kept bothering her.

On the one hand, she feels uncomfortable if she openly says she can't promise anything more than a friendship, but on the other hand, she also doesn't want to make a man as good as Dimitri end up getting hurt because of a woman like her.

That's why she said everything. About the condition of her heart that is still trapped in the shadow of her ex.

The strong afternoon wind made her long black hair fly up to cover part of her face. The woman looked straight ahead, at Dimitri who was now playing ball with a group of orphans.

The man brushed his sweat-drenched hair and part of it fell on his forehead. His face seemed to glow under the twilight rays, with dimples and a charming smile, and sweat running down his forehead to his temples, which made him look even more charming.

Gone is the formal impression of an office man. The shirt he was wearing didn't look neat. The sleeves of the shirt are folded up to the elbows, the top two buttons are open, and the bottom of the shirt is already hanging down, no longer getting into his cloth pants.

For a moment, Rachel enjoyed the beautiful scenery in front of her. Dimitri with his handsome face is an eye-refreshing dish for women, Rachel is no exception.

Dimitri is indeed a good man, handsome, well-established, friendly to children, and even rich. Then what again?

There is nothing less than the figure of a Dimitri Young.

It's just a matter of the heart.

The heart can't choose where it wants to anchor and settle.

Rachel didn't want to stay glued to Xavier either, but getting out of the shadow of her ex, especially the one she had been waiting for ten years even though there was never any clarity, was not as easy as turning her palm.

Again her little brain focused on Xavier. The man, who is now officially her ex, seems to have been ingrained in Rachel's heart and life, whatever she is thinking without realizing it always ends and is linked to his figure.

The woman bit her lower lip, then blew a few strands of hair that covered her forehead in a huff. Suddenly she thought of one thing,

What will happen if Xavier finds out that she is now friends, even on good terms with his own cousin?!

In her huff, the woman plucked the origin of a tuft of grass in front of her. The woman seemed to be nervous.

"How angry was Xavier when he found out that I was good friends with his cousin?" Rachel muttered as she plucked the grass. "I don't even dare to imagine it."

Meanwhile, Dimitri, who was busy dribbling the ball, occasionally glanced at Rachel who was still sitting on a stretch of grass not far from him who was now dribbling the ball. Looking at Rachel who was still busy daydreaming, an idea crossed his mind.

Rachel's daydream was broken as if she woke up as soon as she felt something touch her shoe.

The woman lowered her gaze, her attention focused on a ball rolling towards her until it touched the end of her stiletto heels. The same ball, that Dimitri and a group of orphans had been playing with, stopped right in front of her feet.

Her hands reached out to grab the round object, then lifted it high into the air to throw it at Dimitri, but she canceled doing so when he found the man waving at him while shouting loudly,

"Rachel! Come on, come play with us!"

Rachel looked alternately at Dimitri and the ball in her hand, the man seemed to be whispering to a child who was now jogging towards her.

"Beautiful aunt, come play with us! My team is short of players because someone stopped playing," said the child as he tugged on Rachel's hand.

"Eh! I can't play football," she said with a small shake of her head and a slightly panicked face.

"That's not a problem. Come on! This will be fun."

Rachel didn't have the heart to refuse. Moreover, there was a sense of wanting to try something new, which she had never done before. Rachel thought this would be fun.

She then stood up, patted her black skirt, then removed the two heels on her feet, and threw them carelessly on the grass. Then trotted after the boy, towards Dimitri and the others, smiling broadly.

That evening Rachel spent smiling and laughing with great children who had a fate not much different from hers. Living alone and longing for parental love. This made the woman forget for a moment her identity, which rarely accepted the presence of other people in her life.

Rachel may never have realized one thing, by getting to know Dimitri more deeply, she was slowly opening herself up to the world.

.

.

(*)

Dimitri escorted Rachel as the sky was already dark with a sprinkling of stars.

An acoustic cover of one of Hollywood's most famous singers played at a low volume in the car on their way to Rachel's house.

Ah, is this a coincidence or what? The song that was playing now was Rachel's favorite song, to be precise the one she had liked the most since Xavier left her. Because the lyrics are touching as if to describe how Rachel is currently without Xavier by her side.

Unknowingly Rachel's hand rose to hold her chest which was now pounding with invisible pain. It felt very cramped in there, remembering how the ten years of waiting were in vain because in fact the one he had been waiting for had continued to live without her.

The next lyric sends Rachel flying into the past. How he tried to survive alone with no one by his side.

How the case of sexual harassment made him fall into a deep traumatization abyss. How all this time she had struggled alone, fell many times, and then got back up even though she had to limp until she bled.

"I guess I need you, baby..." Unknowingly the woman mumbled softly, accompanying in the chanting of the song because she had already memorized the lyrics.

"It turns out you like this song too, huh?" Dimitri glanced at her briefly as he remained focused on the road ahead.

Rachel nodded lightly. "Every time, Britney Spear's song. The lyrics match what I'm going through, so I like it."

"This is also one of my favorite songs, you know!" The man said with a gleam in his eyes.

He seemed to have found something new in common with Rachel, and for some reason, even the smallest thing made him very happy.

They both sing the lyrics of the song at the same time. Seemed compact to accompany the song with the beat of the appropriate tone, so enjoyed the song that they didn't realize their journey was over.

Dimitri's car turned into a large alley as instructed by the woman next to him.

Finally, Dimitri's eyes narrowed, as his car's headlights shone right into a very familiar car parked in front of Rachel's gate with the owner of the car who seemed to be waiting for their arrival.

Rachel's eyes bulged almost popping out of their sockets in shock. Suddenly his chest pounded, he could even feel his heart dropping to the bottom.

Within a radius of several tens of meters in front of her, Xavier's figure was standing leaning on the front hood of the car while folding hands on his chest.

Oh, no! It's a disaster.