Pansy's Place

Pansy stared up at the ceiling of the infirmary, wishing she could force her body to fall asleep. She was sick and tired of being in this bed. Just her and one other student had yet to be cleared after the attack in Hogsmeade, and she wished Madam Pomfrey would fucking get on with it already.

She nearly screamed out in terror when the privacy curtain surrounding her bed pulled back seemingly on its own, but threw her good arm (the one that wasn't in a sling) over her mouth to stop herself when her late night visitor disillusioned himself to reveal Harry. He quickly pulled the curtain closed again, and then put privacy spells up on it.

"Sneaking into a girl's bed in the middle of the night, Potter?" she teased, raising her eyebrow playfully. She was trying to take her mind off of her own racing heart, and humor felt like the best way to do so. He just rolled his eyes.

"Madam Pomfrey said there were no serious injuries, but I wanted to see for myself that you were okay," he said, walking towards her and crouching down.

"I will be as soon as that evil witch lets me get out of this fucking bed," she snapped. Harry chuckled, and she glared at him.

"Sorry," he said, though he didn't sound apologetic. "I've been there, believe me. She probably has a bed reserved just for me at this point."

"Yes, well, be that as it may, I am okay, thank you," she said, somewhat awkwardly. "I suffered a broken arm and a couple of broken ribs, but nothing too serious."

"Good," he said. "I'm glad."

He was; he had snuck in after curfew to check on her, and he was genuinely relived she was not seriously injured. It warmed Pansy's heart, and for the first time in days (weeks?) she didn't feel so alone.

"I understand I have you to thank for coming to the rescue," she said. "Not the first time either, after the incident with Draco. You're just piling up the favors I'm going to owe you, aren't you?"

"There's nothing to repay," he said, shaking his head. "But do you mind if I ask why you got involved like that? I feel like I know you well enough to say that you're the type who wouldn't rush to help someone else in trouble if there was a chance you might get hurt." His eyes widened and he shook his head quickly. "Not that it's a bad thing. I think most people would have done the same thing. But I had a chance to hear Astoria speak about it a little bit, and to hear her tell it you played quite the hero."

"You're right," she said, not offended. "It was completely out of character for me. I don't even know why I did it; I didn't even think about it. Before I knew it, I was just…moving." She shrugged, frustrated that she couldn't put what she'd felt into words.

"Why don't you start at the beginning?" Harry suggested when she couldn't come up with anything.

"Okay," she said. She wouldn't have told the entire story to just anyone, but she trusted Harry. Besides, it was nice just to speak with him again like this, even if it was about a day she'd rather forget.

"It all started when Longbottom asked me to Hogsmeade…"

--

Pansy was lost in her own little world as she rode a carriage to Hogsmeade. There was a different boy beside her this time, but she couldn't help thinking about a recent trip down to the village, where she and Harry had claimed a carriage for themselves.

"Pansy? What the fuck are you doing?" Harry hissed urgently as she nonchalantly pulled his cock out of his trousers and began to lick at the head.

"What does it look like?" she said, raising her eyebrows before taking him into her mouth.

"You're an insatiable slut, Pansy," he muttered, but there was no heat or anger to it. He cast a privacy spell around them to protect them from prying eyes as she sucked his cock in the carriage from Hogwarts to Hogsmeade.

Personally she wouldn't have minded even if someone had seen them, but as long as he was going to let her have her fun that was good enough for her. She worked quickly, understanding that they didn't have much time even with the privacy spell. It wouldn't be long before they arrived in the village, and she needed to get him off before that happened.

It was a daunting task, but Pansy was determined to make it happen. She bobbed her head on him quickly, took his cock down her throat and hummed, but that was just the prelude, the buildup to the biggest weapon in her arsenal. If she wanted to make Harry cum in her mouth as quickly as possible, she would need to get serious very quickly.

She pulled her mouth off of him and moved her head lower to lick and kiss at his balls, and Harry groaned just like he always did whenever she worshipped his balls with her mouth. She knew his body and his desires like the back of her hand. She'd spent so much time on her knees with his cock in her mouth that she felt like no one could ever know him any better or make him cum any quicker or harder than she could, and she wanted to prove it to him. Whatever happened between them in the future, she wanted to leave such an impression on him that no one else would ever be able to suck his cock as well as she could.

The licking and kissing got him part of the way there, but the real trick was to take his balls into her mouth and suck on them hard. It was a good thing he'd put up that privacy charm after all, because Harry was very obvious in his pleasure once she started to suck on his balls. He groaned and shifted in his seat, and his fingers tangled in her black hair. He tugged on it hard enough to hurt, and it only made her suck harder. She loved that discomfort of him pulling her hair; she loved that big, powerful, famous, heroic Harry Potter could lose control like that, and she was the one to make him do so.

"Fuck!" he groaned. She just kept sucking on his balls, and his cum wound up shooting straight up into the air. Most of it landed on his thighs or in her hair, and she smiled up at him proudly as she finished. The carriage was less than a minute from coming to a stop, which left them just enough time to clean up if they hurried.

Harry cleaned himself off with a bit of wandless magic, and also took care of a few drops that had landed on the seat beneath him. Pansy very nearly told him not to clean her hair off, as she loved the feeling of his cum in her hair. It felt like victory. She'd made the mighty Harry Potter cum in record time while she sucked on his balls in the carriage. Let all of the bitches who looked down on her see her now!

"Pansy? A-are you alright?"

She shook her head, returning to the present and doing her best to ignore the heat in her belly as she thought about previous encounters with Harry. Enjoyable as that time of her life had been, Greengrass and Davis had their claws in him now, and she saw nothing to suggest that they would be going anywhere. She needed to focus on the here and now. If Harry was going to move forward without her, she would just need to do the same.

"Fine, Longbottom," she said, forcing a smile onto her face. "Just remembering some good times on previous trips to Hogsmeade." He smiled back nervously.

"I hope today is just as good a memory for you," he said, his words coming out in a rush.

"I hope so too," she said, nodding at him. That was what today was all about. Today was the day where she would finally give Longbottom the chance Harry had been encouraging her to give him all this time. Harry would probably be so relieved when she told him. Longbottom had only worked up the courage to ask her to go with him the day before, so she hadn't even had a chance to tell Harry yet.

She frowned at Longbottom's obvious timidity. He'd been showing more backbone recently, such as when he stood up to Malfoy, but right now he reminded her of the stuttering wreck he'd been every other year. Why was he sliding backwards? Was he really so nervous to be on a date with her? If it was going to be this awkward between them the whole time, this was going to be a long day. She couldn't even imagine what would happen if she tried to suck Longbottom's cock in the carriage, especially this version of him. His head would probably explode.

She shook her head and cleared her throat to get her date's attention. If she was going to try, she needed to actually try.

"I'm glad you asked me to come to Hogsmeade with you today," she said sweetly, and reached out to pat the back of Longbottom's hand. His entire body froze and he looked shocked before finally managing to give her a nervous smile.

"I'm glad you said yes," he said. And he was glad; that much was clear. So he was nervous, sure. At least he wanted to be there with her, which was more than she could say for pretty much anyone else in her life these days. The least she could do was give him an honest chance.

--

Pansy picked listlessly at the food the barman of the Hog's Head had placed in front of her. Neville said nothing and busied himself with eating, and whenever she glanced over at him she always found him staring straight down at his plate. She bit back the desire to sigh, but it was not the contented sort of sigh she might make after she'd just been giving a hard, satisfying fuck. This was a sigh of boredom.

Was Neville Longbottom a decent person? Yes; she would freely admit that. But his decency had never been in question. It was his timidity, his lack of strength and blandness that had made her view him dismissively when Harry first brought him up as a possible partner for her, and even if he hadn't been quite the nervous wreck of old throughout the date, he hadn't done much to convince her that she had been wrong in dismissing him as a suitor.

They'd walked around virtually all of Hogsmeade, wandering around aimlessly as Neville clearly had no idea on where to take her. She'd made sure to do a bit of shopping when the opportunity arose, but that was the only real highlight of the day. Her feet were sore and tired from all of the walking they'd done, and said walking had seemed even longer thanks to how awkward and stilted their conversations had been. Neville was quiet most of the time, and didn't seem to have any idea what she might like to talk about. When she took it upon herself to bring up a topic of conversation in hopes that it would get things flowing and help him open up a bit more, he was unable to keep it going for more than a few seconds. Eventually she'd given up on trying to talk to him or butter him up as she would have with Harry.

Harry was part of the problem, she decided. As much as she'd tried to forget about previous times with Harry and focus on the present, she couldn't help but compare Neville to Harry in her head. It wouldn't have been a fun standard to live up to for anyone, but Neville was particularly lacking. Aside from the amazing sex, talking with Harry had never been boring. Her life had been much more interesting with him around to talk to and to fuck, and with how poor Neville was at the former she couldn't imagine him being any good at the latter. He would probably be a pushover in the sack, and while she did enjoy being on top and in charge sometimes, she needed a guy who could keep up with her. There was no spark between her and Neville Longbottom either physically or mentally.

By the time they'd sat down across from each other at the Hog's Head she was ready for the day to end, and trying to do calculations in her head and figure out how soon she could bid him farewell without coming off as rude. She didn't really care all that much whether she offended Neville or not, but she knew he was friends with Harry. Blowing him off might get Harry upset with her, and that was something she hoped to avoid. Even if Harry would no longer shag her brains out, she wanted to at least be able to speak with him and be his friend. It was better than nothing, and much better than this tedious date had been. She chewed on her food and counted down the seconds in her head.

"I feel so bad for Neville," she heard a voice say from a few tables down.

"I know," another girl said. "He's so sweet. Why would he be here with Parkinson of all people?" If they were trying to not be overheard, they were failing miserably. Pansy's hands clenched into fists on top of the table.

"She probably sucked him off or something," the first voice said. "Merlin knows that's the only way she can get any bloke to pay attention to her." Pansy glanced again at Neville. Boring or not, he was still her date, and it wasn't like she'd been rude to him at all. There was no way he couldn't hear them just as clearly as she could. He should be jumping to her defense. But he didn't. He just stared down at his half-empty plate of food as if it held the answers to all of life's greatest mysteries, and said nothing as the other girls continued to mock her.

If Neville wouldn't speak up for her, she would speak up for herself. "What fucking business is it of yours who I'm here with, or why they asked me to Hogsmeade?" she snapped, glaring at the girls who had been talking about her. The offenders were a plump brunette girl with a Hufflepuff scarf around her neck and a skinny Asian girl in a hideous jumper, neither of whom she recognized. They looked in her direction, as did people from several other nearby tables. Pansy didn't care. She'd been having a bad day as it was, and she wasn't going to take this shit right now.

"I would insult your character back, but you're both so bland and faceless that I don't even know who the fuck you are," she said nastily.

"You don't know who we are because we're not from some old, wealthy family," the plump brunette girl said. "Money's the only thing you care about."

"Yeah," her friend said, nodding. "Money and power. That's why you hung around with that arsehole Malfoy. You'd probably let every boy in Slytherin run a train on you if they slid you a few galleons. But none of them even talk to you now that Malfoy binned you. If even he's smartened up and stopped hanging around you, it's no wonder no one else would give you the time of day."

"Oh?" Pansy said, raising an eyebrow. "Is that why I'm here on a date, while the two of you are spending your Hogsmeade trip with each other, not a boy in sight?" The date itself might have been a disaster but it was still a date, and he'd been the one to ask her out. It was still something she could throw back in their faces.

"Neville looks like he'd rather be anywhere else right now," the brunette said. Pansy glared at her, but she couldn't' exactly disagree with that. Her 'date' was currently slouching in his seat as if wishing he could disappear, and pretending that this public argument did not concern him in any way. Some help he was.

"He was probably just too nice to say no when you stuck onto him like the leech you are," the Asian girl said.

"The only other person who doesn't keep their distance from you is Harry Potter, and everybody knows that's just because he's so great and selfless that he's willing to help out anyone. Even a bitch like you!"

Pansy knew Harry wouldn't appreciate her mentioning what had led to them beginning to spend more time together, so she bit her tongue on that. That didn't mean she couldn't still use what little information people had on them as part of her argument. "Oh yes, Harry can't resist buddying up with everyone who's mocked him," she said. "I'm sure he and Draco will start an interhouse exploding snap club any day now. But still, at least he knows who I am. I bet he's never spoken two words to either of you."

They both blushed, making Pansy think she'd hit the target on that one. But the brunette fired back to try and save face. "He's barely been seen with you in weeks though," she said. "He probably got sick and tired of you just like Malfoy did, and decided you're not worth his time anymore."

Pansy growled and had to suppress the desire to draw her wand and use her magic to shut these two up. The dig about Harry getting tired of her and not spending much time with her anymore hit too close to an open wound for her, and it made her want to lash out viciously. But it wouldn't do to make any more of a spectacle of herself than she already had today.

"Not that it's any of your damn business, but Neville asked me to come to Hogsmeade with him today," she snapped. Her eyes flicked to Neville, hoping that he might finally speak now to at least confirm that she was telling the truth about this, but he remained frustratingly silent. She rolled her eyes and looked back at the girls. "And if Harry walked in here right now, he wouldn't give either of you a second thought, because you're both nothing. Hate me if you want, and talk about me behind my back if it makes you feel better about your own lonely lives. But the second you leave here, I'll go right back to forgetting that you exist."

She turned back around and viciously impaled her food on the end of her fork, deliberately snubbing the girls. They muttered amongst themselves, but it was only a couple more minutes before they got up and left the Hog's Head, avoiding looking in her direction as they did so. Once they were around the corner and out of sight, Pansy stared at Neville. She'd settled on not drawing attention to how poorly this date was going, but could no longer hold her tongue.

"What the hell was that?" she demanded. He flinched and looked directly at her for the first time in what felt like forever.

"W-what do you mean?" he asked, seeming genuinely confused as to why she might raise her voice at him.

"Why didn't you get involved?" She didn't know why she even had to ask that. She shouldn't have even needed to start biting back at those girls to begin with. "Those girls were insulting me right in front of you! They said that you were only here with me because I sucked your dick so I'd have someone to walk around the village with!" Neville's cheeks flushed in embarrassment at the insinuation, but she marched right past it, too angry to worry about keeping up appearances right now. "You should have told them off, or at the very least told them the truth, which is that we're here together because you asked me."

"I didn't want to argue with anyone," he said, averting his eyes. Pansy had already been pretty firmly convinced that there would not be a second date with Neville Longbottom, and the second those words were out of his mouth she knew it beyond all doubt. He was so timid and so petrified of confrontation that he'd allowed two bitches to slag her off right in front of him! "I already had to deal with people from Gryffindor trying to talk me out of this when they found out I'd asked you to come to Hogsmeade with me. I didn't want to give them any more to say."

That was incredibly pathetic in Pansy's opinion. He was making it sound like he'd done her some favor by agreeing to take her to Hogsmeade and enduring whatever his fellow stupid Gryffindors had to say about it. She had already decided that this had been an ill match from the beginning, and this was just one more example as to why. And on this note, she no longer felt any need to keep the date going. She'd done her time, and if Harry ever asked her about it she could say in all sincerity that she had given it a chance and it had not worked.

"I think it's time for us to go our separate ways, Neville," she said. His eyes widened as if he was surprised by what she'd just said, and she had to suppress a snort. How in the name of Merlin could this be a surprise?

"Okay," he said, looking down at the table and hunching his shoulders in obvious disappointment as he realized their time was at an end. "Do you want me to escort you back to the castle?"

"No," she said, shaking her head. She felt a little bit of her anger ebb away at his offer, and it prevented her from getting truly hostile with him as she sent him away. Despite how horribly this date had gone, he wasn't a bad person. He just wasn't a person who interested her, or a person who could give her what she needed out of a romantic partner or even a friend. "I'll be fine by myself."

Neville scurried away, but Pansy remained in the Hog's Head. She ordered a butterbeer from the old barman and sipped at it as she lamented how horribly her day had gone. But in truth she was already forgetting about the poor date with Longbottom. While she'd done her best to give it an honest shot, she couldn't honestly say that she'd been surprised with how it had ended up. It was the things the two faceless bitches had said to her that were weighing on her now.

They were obviously wrong about why Neville had been there with her. The most physical thing they'd done, aside from that pat on the hand in the carriage, was when she'd brushed a bit of grass off of his shoulder while they were walking around the village. She hadn't needed to suck his dick or even hint at the possibility; Harry had been right about his interest in her, and he'd finally summoned up the courage to ask her on a date. There was nothing more to it than that.

But some of the other things they'd said had been uncomfortably close to the truth. She did feel very alone as of late. In previous years she'd latched on to Draco, and phony though her ties to him and his followers had been, she certainly hadn't been alone. Then it had been Harry, and he'd filled the void in her life in ways she'd never expected. But that part of her life seemed to be behind her; they still spoke, but only rarely. There was an awkwardness to their interactions now that he'd begun dating Daphne and Tracey, and she didn't know that there would ever be a return to how it had used to be.

It wasn't like she really had any other friends to speak of either. She was working with Daphne's group, and while the bit of money they paid her was nice and everyone in the group treated her relatively cordially, there was still a distance between them. There wasn't a lot of trust, and nothing really resembling friendship. As much as she might have hated those two witches who'd been talking about her, they weren't wrong about her loneliness. She'd never felt so isolated, and she didn't know how she could go about changing it.

Pansy was so lost in her thoughts that she was slower to react than just about anyone else when the trouble arose. She was dimly aware of a commotion, and some screams alerted her that there might be something wrong. But she was finally snapped into alertness for real when she saw a man in full Death Eater getup pointing a wand straight at her.

"You daydreaming, missy?" he asked. His breath was foul, and her nose wrinkled. "Up!" he said. "On your feet and over with the others, before I stop playing nice. I wouldn't want to bruise that pretty little face."

Pansy got up out of her seat automatically, and she followed his direction and walked over to stand amongst the group of terrified Hogwarts students that the Death Eaters had rounded up in the pub area of the Hog's Head. There were only nine Death Eaters and at least twice that many students, but even in her rattled state Pansy could tell that no one else was any more inclined to fight back than she was. She couldn't speak for any of the others, but her thoughts were on simple self-preservation.

She got an uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach when she realized the Death Eaters were separating them into two groups, boys in one and girls in the other. She glanced over an saw an anxious look on the face of Padma Patil, and it made her wonder if the Ravenclaw witch was having the same thought she was.

"So many pretty young things on offer for us," one of the Death Eaters said. Pansy's breath caught in her throat and her skin felt clammy as her fears were realized.

"I'm glad I got this assignment," another said. "Let Umbridge deal with the old man, and let the others run around the village causing a distraction. I'd much rather pull on this one's plait and see if I can make her choke on my cock." Padma recoiled and took a half a step back, not that it was going to help her. She would run out of room soon enough if he pursued her.

"Eh, you can have her," one of the other Death Eaters said. "I'm much more interested in getting my hands on these tits. I always thought Amelia Bones would make for a fun shag, but her niece is even better." Susan Bones began to cry quietly as the Death Eater sized her up. There was some disagreement as the group tried to decide who would go first and who would get which witch, but one of them had heard enough.

"You lot can keep talking," an impatient Death Eater said, circling around a clearly extremely frightened Astoria Greengrass. "I'm going to get started."

Pansy's entire body was shaking, and she was breathing so quickly she was hyperventilating. Her body might have been in the Hog's Head, but her mind was back in the charms classroom. Visions flashed across her vision of that fateful night where Draco Malfoy had lured her into what would have been a group violation if Harry Potter hadn't burst in like the goddamn storybook hero that he was and taken them all out by himself. She looked at Astoria's pale, panicked face, and she saw herself. She saw what would have happened to her.

She never made a conscious decision to act. Before she even knew what she was doing, her wand was in her hand and trained on the Death Eater who looked to be seconds away from putting his hands on Astoria. She screamed the first spell that came to mind, and the man dropped like a stone right in front of Astoria. Pansy stared at his fallen form with wide eyes, her mind unable to comprehend what her body had just done seemingly on its own.

The Death Eater who had mentioned wanting to get his cock in Padma Patil's mouth spun around at the noise, and his wand was on Pansy quickly. "Oi, you're gonna pay for hurting my friend, bitch!" he said. Pansy tried to fire a stunning spell at him, but he was far too fast. She might have reacted like some big damn hero, but Harry Potter she was not. She would not be fighting this group off.

He didn't even speak his spell aloud; she just felt a sharp pain in her arm, as if someone had just smashed the bones with a hammer. She grunted and fell to the floor, and the breath was knocked out of her as her ribs smacked down hard. For Pansy, who had preferred to not lift a finger or do any manual labor if at all possible, her body was ill-equipped to cope with such unimaginable pain.

She felt herself about to pass out, but her eyes caught sight of a shape resembling Harry bursting into the pub and doing battle with the Death Eaters. She couldn't have said whether he was really there or if her brain was just latching onto whatever fantasy it could, but she wouldn't be surprised if it was reality as opposed to a desperate fantasy. It wouldn't be the first time he'd rushed in to save the day when she was in trouble.

--

Pansy was fidgeting in her bed by the time she'd finished retelling the story of her day in Hogsmeade. Harry was looking at her with an intensity he never had before, and it was making her nervous.

"You know the rest better than I do," she said, shrugging her unbroken arm and clearing her throat. "You rushed in, did your Gryffindor hero thing like always, and here we are."

"I wasn't the only one who acted like a hero in Hogsmeade," he said quietly, still giving her that unnerving stare, looking at her like he could see straight into her soul. "Astoria was right. You were pretty damn heroic yourself, Pansy."

She snorted. "Please! I dropped one arsehole because he wasn't expecting it. The first Death Eater to aim his wand at me had me on the ground in seconds. And I didn't even think about what I was doing. I didn't choose to be a hero like you always do. My body just acted without thinking."

"That's what I do pretty much every time," he said, smiling. "Especially before Dumbledore started tutoring me. What matters is that you did the right thing and protected someone."

She shook her head. "Tell that to my parents."

Harry frowned. "What does that mean?"

"They stopped by to see me," she said. "Once they could tell I wasn't in any danger of dying or anything, they gave me quite a scolding for getting involved and getting myself hurt."

"That's rubbish!" Harry said heatedly. "They should be proud of you for what you did! I know I am!"

Pansy felt her stomach do a flip when she heard him say he was proud of her, and she tried to laugh her way past it. "That's just how things are with us," she said. "My father's never really taken any interest in me or my life. His only concern is making money and making himself look good. He was pretty angry at getting called here to see me in the infirmary when he was busy hobnobbing with some of the old families trying to advance his ambition of getting a seat on the Wizengamot. To quote him, my actions today may have undone months of hard work."

"What an arsehole," Harry muttered. "What about your mum? She had to be at least a little bit concerned about you."

She smiled without humor. "You only think that because your experience with parental figures is the Weasleys and their mother hen. My mother doesn't have an ounce of concern for anyone else but herself, nor would I expect her to. She is a trophy wife; her only purpose in life is to look pretty, sit on her arse and spend my father's money."

"So you've been trying to emulate her, then?" he asked, and then he flinched. "Sorry, that was rude."

"No, it was accurate," Pansy said with a nod, not offended. It was true, after all, and he hadn't said it to deliberately insult her. She'd been with Draco because she viewed him as the one who could give her that same lifestyle her father afforded her mother, and eventually had come to look at Harry in a similar way before things ended. "That's what I want. Or rather, it's what I wanted. I thought my mother had it great. She doesn't have to work, she does whatever she wants and buys whatever she wants, and uses my father's money to live comfortably. That's always seemed like the ideal life to me."

"Which was why you were with Malfoy," he stated, and she nodded. Then he cocked his head. "Wait, you said it was what you wanted? Past tense? Does that mean you've changed your mind on that?"

Pansy nodded again. "I did. If I'd just been focused on the gold he could offer, I might have overlooked how poorly Longbottom and I fit together during our date and tried to snag him regardless." She didn't see any particular affection between her parents, but her mother was with her father for his gold rather than a satisfying sex life or interesting conversation. "Not so long ago, I probably would have done it. But I was looking for other things from him besides just his gold, and he couldn't give them to me."

"Yeah, it sounds like that didn't work out," he said, frowning. "I'm sorry about that. I honestly thought he'd be able to give you what you wanted."

"That's fine," she said. "At the time that you said it, it was probably true. But I've decided that I don't want my mother's life anymore."

"I'm glad to hear it," Harry said, smiling at her. "I do feel bad that your date with Neville went badly though."

"Don't worry about it," she said dismissively. "I gave it a try, and now we know. Besides, I'm going to need to focus on my schoolwork anyway. My grades are going to need all the help that they can get." She wasn't looking forward to all of the work she was going to have to put in to make up for years of laziness and minimal effort in her studies, but it would be a necessary evil.

"Oh yeah?" he said, looking interested. "What's got you so motivated to work on your grades? You never really cared about that before, no offense."

"None taken," she said. Again, it was true. "It was being in here that changed my mind, actually."

"Being in the infirmary?" Harry said, surprised. "Why?"

"I've never had to stay in here before," she said. "It opened my eyes."

"You want to follow in Madam Pomfrey's footsteps then?" he asked, grinning. "You'll make me deathly afraid of you in no time."

"Not exactly, no." Pansy shook her head. "It was more about the junior healer St. Mungo's sent over to help her treat the high number of students injured in the attack." None of the injuries had been overly serious, but there had been so many students hurt that Pomfrey couldn't split her attention between all of them. "Did you ever meet Bella Farley?"

Harry thought about it for a second, then shook his head. "If I have, the name doesn't ring any bells."

"Not surprising," Pansy said. "She was a 7th year when we were 1st years, and it's not like you were on speaking terms with many Slytherins before this year anyway. But I was so surprised to see her in here, and see how well she did her job."

"I wouldn't think they would send over someone who wasn't any good," Harry said.

"That's not it. I was surprised because when I knew her, she reminded me of my mother. She seemed more concerned with finding a rich husband who could take care of her than she did with her schoolwork, and before her last term ended she got betrothed to the heir of an old family. She was someone I wanted to be like when I was older."

"And seeing what she'd become made you decide you had it wrong?" Harry asked.

"I guess so. She kept talking to me while she treated me, to keep my mind off of the pain of my bones repairing themselves. She told me about how her betrothed had tossed her aside when someone better came along, so she had to work to make her own way in the world," Pansy explained. "It was tough on her, especially since she hadn't taken her classes seriously when she was here. But she's worked her arse off for the last several years, and has finally become a junior healer."

"So you're afraid you'll fall behind if you can't find a wizard to marry before you finish school, or if you do but he changes his mind?"

"That's part of it," Pansy admitted. "But the biggest thing was seeing how much happier she seemed now, compared to the girl I knew back then. Her plans fell apart and she had to work hard to make up for wasted time, but she took pride in what she's accomplished. And when she asked me what my plans for a career were, and I hadn't been able to tell her anything, I felt the need to change things. I can't depend on being a trophy wife for some rich wizard like my mum; I need to make my own way."

"So you want to be a healer like her?"

"Maybe," Pansy said. "That's something I could be proud of." She didn't say the other reason that she was considering it, which was how powerless she'd felt in Hogsmeade. She would never be a hero like Harry, but maybe she could be of use to heroes by healing them, like Pomfrey did and Bella was working to be able to do. Maybe she could even help heal Harry after his battles. She could save him for a change, instead of him always having to save her. It was an interesting thought, however unlikely it seemed.

"I'm not sure if I'll keep on that path, but I know I'll need good grades regardless," she continued. "And I've already wasted five years of school, so I've got loads of work to make up for. I can't get that time back, but I can commit to working as hard as I can for my last two years at Hogwarts."

"That's good that you're taking things seriously," Harry said. "It won't be easy, but I'll help you as much as I can. We can study together and stuff. Having a friend to push you can really help; Hermione's taught me that much."

"A friend, huh?" she said, smiling slightly. It wasn't all that she wanted from him, but it was better than nothing. "I'd like that."

"Let me know when you're cleared by Madam Pomfrey, and we can cram as much studying in as we can before the OWLS," he offered. "And I'll add you to the list of people who can send me letters outside of Hogwarts, so we can write during the summer."

"That sounds good," Pansy said. She'd never had a true friend to exchange letters with.

Harry nodded, and a bit of an awkward silence settled over them where it seemed like neither of them were sure what to say. Eventually Harry looked down at his watch and frowned.

"I should probably get back," he said.

"Okay." She felt lonely already, and he wasn't even gone yet.

He just stood there for a few seconds, and then surprised the hell out of her by leaning down and hugging her. He didn't squeeze her hard, and she could tell that he was deliberately taking it easy on her due to her injuries. Personally she would have welcomed a bit of discomfort if it meant he held her tighter, but she knew better than to suggest it. She put her good arm around his neck and squeezed, wishing her other arm would have been free to do the same.

The hug was broken far too quickly for her liking, but Harry was smiling at her when he pulled back. It was a smile different from any he'd ever given her, and her stomach did yet another flip. "I'm really proud of you, Pansy," he said quietly. "And I'm glad you're okay."

She was so stunned that she could only stare at him as he made himself invisible again, undid the privacy charms over her curtain and left her bedside. Pansy just stared at the spot he'd just been for what felt like hours, and tried valiantly to calm the racing of her heart.

How in the fuck am I supposed to forget about the past and move forward when he hugs me, tells me he's proud of me and looks at me like that?!