Chapter 4

Ava

I opened my closet and was about to grab my pajamas, but decided I wanted to feel feminine and sexy tonight. Not for anyone else; just for me. I was back to dressing how I wanted, not how Trent dictated. I could have my hair up in a messy bun if I wanted to. I could leave the house without makeup and not feel naked. Trent used to tell me I looked like death warmed up when I didn't wear lipstick

I slid the lilac silk-and-lace chemise off the hanger, stripped off and stepped into it. The fabric was gentle on my thighs and stomach. It was soothing. I knew I was going to have a good night's sleep because of it.

The fabric just covered my butt. I turned and admired it in the mirror - all that yoga had paid off. The front was loosely fitted but hugged my breasts, giving me an admirable cleavage. I let my hair down and finger combed it from my face. As I looked in the mirror, though, I remebered Trent's reaction to me leaving him, his tight clench around my wrist. The bruise mark was still there, like a souvenir. I felt so lost, I wasn't sure what I was really doing here.

When I was done feeling sorry for myself, I went to the washroom to splash cold water on my face, then brushed my teeth and applied some lip balm on my cracked lips.

"You can do this," I said to my reflection in the medicine cabinet mirror. "You're still young enough to start again." I smiled at myself like my therapist had taught me to. As usual, it felt contrived and out of place.

The man from the store came to mind. I imagined him wondering if I was the same person he'd seen earlier. He would think I was her twin, but washed-out and ready for the reject bin. I wasn't going down without a fight, I reminded myself. Tomorrow I would make myself up again, dress well, and hide how miserable I was on the inside.

I slipped into bed and set the alarm clock for six a.m. It definetly beat my 4 a.m. shifts at the lab.

Another perk.

I switched off the lamp and laid down, trying not to think of the man from the store, but he kept slipping through my restraint—his steel-gray eyes, his taut lips, his sensual mouth telling me to stay away from him as I drifted off to a world of nothing.