Subverting All Expectations

{Author's Note}

What's this!? A chapter coming out only a few days after two chapters came out? Is this a sign of more chapters coming out faster!?

Probably not.

I just have an extra surplus of inspiration that my job doesn't seem to be destroying with the brutal efficiency it always has, so I was able to pop this one out at light speed! (When compared to my usual 'disappear for a few weeks to a month' thing.)

Anyway, I can say with 100% certainty that I named this chapter as accurately as possible. Nothing will go the way you expect it to, and more than a few of you are going to receive whiplash from the rapid and weird turns.

Also, a big thanks to Blue_Robin who gave me the final push I needed to actually start using Google Docs to correct the majority of the grammar and spelling mistakes I make. I won't say I owe you one, because I am a selfish Being, but thanks.

ON WITH THE STORY!

***

Granberia had anticipated multiple different reactions that Kevin could have to her appearing in front of him. They ranged from him outright attacking her, to him accusing her of trying to take over San Ilia, all the way to him simply glaring at her and not saying a word. She was certain that nothing he could possibly say or do would surprise her, as she had prepared a myriad of responses to try and de-escalate the situation in every scenario that played out in her head.

What she hadn't expected was for him to immediately accuse her of being there to ruin his food again. Of all the things he could've remembered from their first battle, THIS was what remained the most prominent in his mind? Not that she was a powerful Heavenly Knight who had almost single-handedly taken over a city and defeated all of its defenders, but that she was the one who knocked his chocolate bar to the floor without provocation?

As such, she was rendered speechless at his question, caught completely off-guard by the sheer ridiculousness of it. Silence stretched on between them as he glared hatefully at her, and she stared dumbfoundedly back. How was she supposed to respond to such an accusation without losing a shred of dignity?

Fortunately for her, Alice was there to break the awkward stare down. "What are you doing here, Granberia?" the Monster Lord asked, crossing her arms. "Trying to take over ANOTHER human city without my permission?"

The Heavenly Knight of Fire internally sighed with relief at the perfect chance to break this odd misunderstanding. "Of course not, Lord Alice. What point would there be in attacking some castle in the middle of nowhere? I came to speak with the boy here."

Alice nodded. "While I agree that this castle isn't worth the stone it's built from, you have terrible timing."

"Why would that be?"

"Well, for one, I just shattered Ilias' precious [Goddess Sword], so the guards were already in an upheaval trying to locate where the 'Monster Lord' went,'' Alice admitted, causing the dragonkin's eyes to widen a bit. "Secondly, from the way Elemental Energy seems to be rolling off him in waves, I don't think Kevin has forgiven you for what you did back in Iliasburg yet."

Indeed, as his cold rage began to boil and rise in heat, so too did the Elemental Energies within him. The frozen hatred he'd felt for this monster girl since the day she murdered his chocolate bar instead ignited in a blazing inferno, threatening to force an involuntary evolution like what happened on that day.

Granberia also noticed the powerful aura the boy was putting off, which was almost identical to that of her teacher. His expression promised her death if she didn't de-escalate the situation as quickly as possible. Luckily for her, she came here prepared to make peace with him, and had the perfect offering to try smoothing things over.

"Before you try to kill me for my previous transgressions," she began, reaching out into the air and pulling something from her personal pocket dimension which, unlike Alice, she didn't keep between her breasts. "I would like to offer you these as an apology."

What she held in her hands was an ornate plate piled high with bars of chocolate, the sight of which caused Kevin to pause. He sniffed the air, and was stunned by the scent he was immersed in.

"Hershey's…chocolates?" he mumbled, his eyes wide as saucers and his aura seemingly disappearing into nothing.

The dragonkin let out a sigh of relief before continuing. "After Tamamo put things into perspective for me, I knew I had to apologize for my actions. So, I had the castle's finest chefs work day and night to try and reproduce the chocolate I ruined that day. Since I only had the scent to go by, I didn't have them stop until it perfectly matched what I remembered from that day."

As if in a trance, Kevin slowly walked forward and took the plate from the woman who he'd sworn to be his mortal enemy. Cautiously, he picked up one of the chocolate chunks and popped it into his mouth…only for a tear to fall from his eye. It tasted exactly the same as the Hershey's chocolate bars from back on Earth! The flavor he thought he'd never get to experience again danced around his tongue as he chewed, sheer elation on his face.

Alice, seeing her travel companion expressing an amount of elation she'd never seen him show before, decided to try some of the chocolate for herself. But, as she reached out her hand to try taking one of the pieces for herself, a hand grabbed her by the wrist. The grip was as solid as steel, and the fingers of the hand were tipped with claws that glowed with featureless Elemental power.

"Touch it and I'll rip your arm off," the boy stated, his expression going from happy to dead-serious in less than a second.

It was then that the Monster Lord was reminded of how even her position as his traveling companion wasn't worth much if she tried messing with his food without permission. The look in his eyes told her that he would throw away their weeks of adventuring together the moment her fingers touched the delicacy. As much as she wanted to taste it, she also didn't want to have to go through the trouble of regrowing her arm if he ripped it off.

With that intrusion out of the way, the Eevee faced Granberia again. "I will…tentatively accept your apology. I can't say I forgive you, because I still feel the desire to punch your head off your shoulders, but…if you give me the recipe for this chocolate, I promise not to try killing you on sight in the future."

It was obvious to anyone with eyes and ears that it hurt him to let go of this grudge so easily. The internal conflict between accepting one of the treats that he'd thought he'd never get to taste again, and the desire to viciously murder the one who made him lose that hope in the first place, was visibly straining him.

Not desiring for the boy's vengeful nature to suddenly overpower his desire for comfort food, the dragonkin held out the written recipe she'd had the chefs prepare once they'd gotten it just right. "Here."

Just like that, the immediate desire to turn the Heavenly Knight of Fire into a pair of dragon-skin boots was completely gone. He took the sheet of paper, skimmed over it once to make sure that it was relevant, and then slipped it into his backpack as gently as possible. Then, he did the same with the chocolates, including the plate. While he may want to immerse himself in the blissful memories contained in each bite, there were more important things to address for now.

Like the fact that Granberia was still standing there. "What are you still doing here?"

She felt like she should be offended, but at the same time knew that they weren't even close to the level of comfort that would allow them to be in the same room without him wanting to at the very least inconvenience her in some way. So, she replied as cordially as possible. "After the beating you gave me back in Iliasburg, I have been training. I was hoping to have a spar with you to see how my power measures up to yours now. I understand that you are unlikely to accept –"

Kevin raised an eyebrow at her. "Are you seriously asking me that right now? I get that you have this whole 'knightly pride' thing going on, but I only JUST stopped imagining skinning you and making a cool jacket out of your scales. I know myself well enough to say that if we were to have a 'spar' of any kind right now, it wouldn't end until I cut off all of your limbs and threw you into an active volcano."

Despite practically having fire flowing through her veins, the dragonkin shivered as if she was dunked in an ice bath. "Duly noted," she nodded, before turning to face Alice. "I will be returning to my duties, Lord Alice."

The Lamia nodded wordlessly to her subordinate, internally commending the usually-meat-headed monster for backing down. If there was one thing she'd learned over the course of her journey with Kevin, it was that nothing short of immense bribery could save someone from the boy's wrath. She still had a few bargaining chips saved up for times when – not if, WHEN – he would inevitably go overboard with a particularly powerful monster, but she didn't want to waste any of them on the same monster twice. Granberia already got her freebee, as far as Alice was concerned.

With confirmation from her Lord that she was dismissed, she proceeded to leave. Unlike what Kevin expected, though, her departure wasn't as simple as vanishing into thin air. Instead, a two-tone notification sound played in his ears as she blinked out of existence. At the same time, what could only be described as a notification window popped up in front of him.

[Dragon_Knight_Granberia has left the Chat.]

Even when the notification disappeared, the boy continued to stare at the spot she disappeared from. It was one thing for Alice to start pulling random disappearing effects out of nowhere, but for her Heavenly Knights to start doing it too? Someone had to be screwing with him. That was the only explanation he could find for the shenanigan he'd just witnessed.

Before he could delve too deep down the rabbit hole, the unconscious guards surrounding him and Alice started waking up.

"Uuuugh."

"What happened? Did the Hero win?"

"Yeah, let's go with that," Kevin shrugged off their questions, before walking away with the disguised lamia. "So, back to what we were talking about before all of –" he gestured to the recovering individuals around him. " – happened. You said I should meet up with these Four Spirits, right?"

She nodded. "Yes. Their blessings could supplement your own power greatly."

"Something tells me they aren't all just gathered together and hanging out with each other," the Eevee said.

"No, they aren't. They're scattered across the continent, in locations where their elements are the most concentrated," Alice replied cryptically

Kevin groaned. "For fuck's sake, YOU were the one who suggested I go find them. Would it kill you to just tell me where they are?"

"No," she answered, a smug grin on her face. "But where would the fun be in me just giving you the answers outright?"

"You're really annoying when you're like this. You know that?"

"I've been told."

"…"

"…"

He could tell from her earlier insistence that she really wanted him to seek out these Spirits, but he refused to just let her control the flow of the conversation like this. "Look, either you give me a hint, or I drop the quest here and now and we go back to aimless wandering."

Just like that, Alice's fun was ruined. "Fine," she sighed. "There's a book hidden in this castle's underground library that discloses the locations of all four of them."

The boy raised an eyebrow at that. "Really?"

"It's also guarded by special Monsters who lurk within its pages."

"There it is," he groaned.

With that, the duo walked over to the door that led to the basement library. It was guarded by a single guard, but this one was dressed in the same armor as Arthur had been, marking him as a Guard Captain. Considering the amount of knowledge stored within the library, it was no surprise that they wouldn't post some low-level guard outside the door.

"Hold up, boy," the man said, holding out his hand to stop their approach. "You need permission to enter the library. Did you fill out the paperwork properly?"

Not wanting to deal with the delays of bureaucracy, the Eevee decided to say the first thing that came to mind. "I am Kevin, and I speak for the trees. Let me into the library, or I'll break your knees."

"…excuse me?"

The demand came so far out of left field that both the guard and Alice were now staring at him as if he'd grown a second head. What neither of them knew was that while the boy was speaking, he was utilizing a Move at the same time.

[Supersonic – Normal Type Move]

[Description: The user generates odd sound waves from its body that confuse the target.]

The odd statement he'd made was primarily to cover up the sound waves targeting the Guard Captain's brain, sinking him deep into a state of confusion. So much so, in fact, that it barely took any effort for Kevin to move him to the side, allowing him and Alice to get through the door without any further obstacles.

"That…was the weirdest form of hypnosis I have ever witnessed," Alice informed him with a blank face. "And that's saying something, since I've seen kitsunes do so by dancing and shaking their tails around."

Kevin shrugged. "All I did was emit supersonic sound waves that induced a state of confusion –"

" –and covered it up by spouting nonsense about speaking for the trees," the lamia completed for him.

"Details…who needs 'em," he replied, ending the conversation just in time for them to reach the bottom of the stairs.

The library had to be the largest one Kevin had seen in his entire life, spanning even beyond the dimensions of the castle above it. Rows of bookshelves stretched as far as the eye could see, with interspersed desks and sitting areas for the various scholars to sit at and pour over their books. Speaking of scholars, there wasn't a single one in the whole library, all of them likely having evacuated with the whole 'Monster Lord and Heavenly Knight' scare.

Currently looking over the railing, as they had come out on the second floor of the library, Kevin whistled in appreciation. "Wow. I know they said that it's the 'world's library,' but I honestly didn't expect for there to be this many books." He then turned to Alice. "How the hell am I supposed to find the one we need?"

Alice gave the vast room a cursory scan before replying. "There are two ways. The first would be to follow the scents of the monsters in charge of protecting it."

"Yeah, no," Kevin deadpanned at her. "Next option."

"You could also just use that," she continued, pointing off to the side.

Sitting on a pedestal was an enormous book, with a sign that read 'Catalog' over it. Honestly, Kevin was surprised he hadn't spotted it before. He made a point to ignore her smug grin as he approached it and began skimming through it for anything useful.

"What's the name of the book?" he asked idly.

"[Four Animists and Their Sources]," she replied. One would expect her to keep being cagey about the book's information and try letting him find it himself, but the catalog was huge and it could take him an hour to find the name of the book as it is, let alone trying to determine which of the millions of books in there were the one she had alluded to. It saved a lot of time to just tell him. "Just hurry up and find it. I don't want to spend too much time in this place."

The Eevee glanced at her with a raised eyebrow. "Oh? And why would that be?"

"I can't eat books, so I don't like them," the disguised lamia concluded.

"…you really only think with your stomach, don't you?" the boy mused as he returned to reading the catalog.

After about half an hour of reading and flipping through pages, he was able to find it. "Here it is: Bookcase 35, second level."

Finding the bookcase itself was easy, as was locating [Four Animists and Their Sources]. The amount of dust on the book, added to the fact that paper and leather looked positively ancient, gave the impression that nobody had touched this book in decades, if not centuries. Well, rumors probably got around about it being cursed with the monsters guarding it, so it wasn't very surprising.

He carried it over to one of the cushioned chairs that had a candle lamp beside it, sat down, and started reading the first paragraph:

{A long time ago…actually, never…and also now. Nothing is nowhere. When? Never. Makes sense, right? Like I said, it didn't happen. Nothing was ever anywhere. That's why it's been everywhere. It's been so everywhere that you don't need a 'where.' You don't even need a 'when.' That's how 'every' it gets.}

"…"

Kevin knew that there was no such thing as coincidence. He remembered these exact words from the beginning of a YouTube video he'd watched a few years ago, but the question remained: why the hell were they written in this book? Closing the book, he inspected the cover more closely. What he found under the title caused his eye to twitch.

{Written and Illustrated by Sir Bill Wurtz}

Taking a deep breath, the boy closed his eyes for a second. "Just ignore it, Kevin. That way lies madness."

After re-opening the book and continuing to read, he was reminded more and more of the somewhat-famous youtuber. The wording, the 'illustrations' (if they could even be called that), and the way certain pieces of the text were written as if there should be a small jingle playing in the background, honestly led Kevin to have more fun reading than he ever had in his previous life.

Of course, there had to be a kill-joy to ruin his mood. Following an interesting depiction of the world cooling from its molten state, the Eevee flipped the paper in the book to "Page 17." Instead of a normal page in the book, Kevin was met with a living picture. It was of, you guessed it, the torso of a woman with no arms or legs. Instead, there were tentacles growing where her legs should be, and vines growing around her.

[Page 17]

[Type: Normal/Ghost]

"It's forbidden to read this book," the Monster girl stated, looking Kevin dead in the eye.

Kevin nodded. "I get that, but I kinda need to for reasons."

"It's the Monster Lord's order," Page 17 continued, not budging in her stalwart defense of the next pages.

Knowing that trying to ignore the monster and just turn to the next page wouldn't work, the Eevee looked over at his lamia companion. "Hey Alice! Can you tell this…what the hell are you doing?"

Off to the side, in one of the corners of the large room, Alice was piling up books from one of the shelves labeled 'religious texts." She emptied out half of it before she nodded to herself and proceeded to use her magic to ignite the pile, creating a small bonfire. What made the scene even more comedic to Kevin, but would likely make any of the priests above scream in horror and rage, was that the next thing the disguised monster did was pull out a potato, shove a stick through it, and start using the head from the fire to bake it.

"What does it look like? I'm making a baked potato," she replied, raising her eyebrow at him as if he was an idiot. "Don't worry. These are just books about Ilias. It's not like they're important."

Kevin let out a loud sigh. "As much as I would love to sit there with you and cook with the burning texts of a deeply flawed religion, I need your help. This monster says I'm not allowed to read the book because of the 'Monster Lord's Order.' Anything you can do to let me get through her without having to fight?"

She seemed to consider it for a moment, then shook her head. "I could, but I won't. Besides, if I come over there to help, who's going to watch my potato?"

The funny thing is, it was her last statement that made him let her off the hook. After all, he understood the importance of making sure your food wasn't overcooked or undercooked. The fact that it was being cooked by the heat of burning religious texts just made it that much more important to keep a close eye on.

"Fine," he nodded, turning back to look at the page monster who was staring at him expectantly. "Does the fact that I'm also a monster count for anything?"

Page 17 tilted her head to the side, considering the question. "I need to speak with the others about this. Do you mind waiting?"

"Not at all."

With that, the book closed on its own, and if one were to put their ear up to it, they would be able to hear whispers. The Eevee didn't pay attention to that, though. He was mostly wrapped up in the idea that a monster hadn't tried to rape him the moment she had the chance. Normally, he would get maybe a few words in before they ignored everything he had to say in favor of thinking with their lower lips.

"I guess living in a library for hundreds of years made these monsters smarter than the others," he thought out loud.

As if in direct response to him, the book opened up again and popped out three full-sized monsters. "I would say I'm flattered, but having a higher IQ than a feral is not that big of an accomplishment."

Two monsters came out of the book alongside Page 17, both of which were garbed more modestly than any monster he'd seen before. The first appeared to be wearing baby-blue pajamas, including a night cap. Like Page 17, she had no legs, her lower half instead fused with the opened pages of an entire book. Other than that, the one other peculiar thing about her anatomy were the segmented tentacles she had instead of ears.

[Page 257]

[Type: Normal/Ghost]

Next to her, the one who had spoken, was what Kevin assumed to be the 'boss' type monster of this encounter. Considering she was twice as big as Page 257, who was already five times the size of page 17. Like her subordinates, she had no legs, only a large lump of flesh that had a dozen segmented tentacles protruding from it, each one holding a book. Her humanoid half was dressed in a long skirt, a long sleeved white shirt, a brown vest, a blue tie, and glasses. It was safe to say that she pulled off the 'Sexy Librarian' look.

[Page 65537]

[Type: Normal/Ghost]

It took Kevin a few seconds to understand why these three were all Normal and Ghost types at the same time, and the answer he came to was both conclusive and annoying. It was because even though they could possess books like Ghost Types, they were limited to books only, which was pretty boring. So, the Eeveelution System classified them as Normal types.

'Am I in the ballpark, System?' he thought.

[The Host is Correct!]

"Page 17 informed me that you desire to read [Four Animists and Their Sources]," the librarian look alike stated, pushing her glasses up on her nose.

Kevin nodded. "Yeah. Alice and I were bored, so she came up with looking for the Four Spirits as something to do."

"By Alice," the boss monster said. "Do you mean Monster Lord Alipheese Fateburn XVI?"

"Yeah. She's over there baking potatoes," he replied, gesturing to his traveling companion.

To say that Page 65537 was irritated by what she saw would be an understatement. She took this position guarding the only book in the world that described the locations of the Four Spirits because the Monster Lord herself had given her the task. She'd grown some more respect for the strongest monster in existence for the fact that she claimed to not like to burn books, and only wanted to make sure that no human would misuse the Four Spirits' power.

Now, here she was, watching the exact same Monster Lord pulling a baked potato off of a stick, sliding another one onto it, and holding it out again over a pile of flaming books. It didn't matter that they were books dedicated to the goddess Ilias and her idiotic religion. All knowledge is important, ESPECIALLY examples of what NOT to do.

Page 65537 closed her eyes, counted to ten to calm herself down, and turned back to the boy standing before her. "We were assigned by the Monster Lord to guard this book against inquisitive humans who might seek out the Four Spirits and try to use their sheer elemental might against the various monster races. You may not be a human, but you are in search of them. Thus, I cannot allow you to access the contents of this book without first overcoming a trial."

"Something tells me that you were going to let me read through it anyway when you confirmed that I was a monster," Kevin sighed, glancing sideways at Alice. "But now you're angry at her, and since you can't take it out on her, you're going to use me as an outlet."

The librarian monster didn't even bother to hide the truth. "Indeed. I may not be able to work directly against the Monster Lord, but I can inconvenience one of her companions as a means of revenge. I hope you don't take it personally."

The boy shrugged. "Eh, I understand where you're coming from. Having dealt with her on a daily basis for about a month, I often find myself taking petty potshots at her. If anything, I'm just glad that you aren't coming after me demanding for me to give you my semen. It started getting old after the fifth monster."

At that, page 257 shyly piped up. "Um…I wouldn't mind having some. I've never seen a male before."

"Try it and I'll set you on fire, seal you in a motionless book, and then set it on fire too."

"That was…an incredibly violent threat," Page 65537 observed, patting her discouraged subordinate on the back.

He shrugged again. "It's how I am. Honestly speaking, if your trial has anything to do with forcing me to have sex with you or your subordinates, I will kill you in ways you couldn't even begin to imagine." The look in his eyes when he implied that his statement took all of the books she'd likely read in the past into consideration.

"Duly noted," the page monster replied. "Fortunately for both of us, the trial is based on knowledge rather than sexual prowess."

Knowing he had the perfect form for this, Kevin smirked. "Bring it on, then."

***

{Author's Note}

So! How did you all like the subversion tactics I supplied?

Were you surprised by the lack of a fight with Granberia?

Did the Page Monsters' desire to speak instead of outright raping our protagonist lift any eyebrows?

And how many of you recognized the genius that was 'history of the entire world, i guess' that I referenced halfway through?

As always, comment on the paragraphs and the chapter itself. Try not to be a dick, memes are appreciated, and correct my grammar so I can fix it for future readers!

See you later!