Chapter 3 (9)

The party leaving most of the reanimated corpses behind them, hopefully causing no harm, and with no swigging skeletons this time around the party clears the cave with relatively no problems. Gregor, now his normal diminutive self...continues to swing his glaive at the other party members

Markus: No.

Alex: Hahahaha

Ashe: WHY!?

Gregor: Still kind of mad about what you did.

Markus: It's- It's okay, I can cast it again later.

As Ashe is running she notices something, and tries to stop herself, skidding to a halt, and turning to look at the man on the ground.

Markus begins his normal self slips in the mans blood and falls to his own side.

Wounded Man: Ahuh.

Markus: Ah!

Wounded man: Please... Help me. I.. ohh.. oh it hurts so much.

The wounded man has been divided cleanly in two.

Wounded Man: I...Oh please...

Markus: Woah...

Wounded man: I've gotta...I've gotta message for my friend. He's over by the town... tell him I love him. He has a rat problem!

Markus: What's your name?

The light fades from the mans eyes.

Markus: WHAT'S YOUR NAME?!

Ted: Ted.

Markus: *whispers* Ted...We must go.

Gregor: I think my arms have gone a little crazy, actually.

Ashe: Listen, Gregor. I have NO time for this.

Gregor: I don't either. We're all in the same boat here.

Ahead of the party, on the path-

Markus: NO!

Marcus punts the sheep out of our way. THERE'S NO TIME!

*Smack*

Alexander and Ashe release slightly evil laughter at the sight of our party mage managing to punt a sheep into the distance

Ashe: Markus, I didn't know you had the physical strength for such a feat!

Markus: That thing like, it-It felt like kicking a balloon.

Ashe: They are filled with balloons, yes, this is true

Alex: probably one of my replicas to try in bring down the sheep's kill count *mumbling* though the fake sheep still kill some it's better

The man, ahead of us, in front of his shack, screams, covered head to toe in giant rats.

Markus: Oh god..

Ratman: I.. I HAVE A RAT PROBLEM.

Markus: Oh my god, he actually has a rat problem.

Alex: I told you he did

Ashe: AHHH

Markus: WHAT DO WE DO?

Ashe: I just... AHHHH HELP ME GET HIM INTO THE WELL!

Markus: GO, GET HIM INTO THE WELL!

Ashe: IT'S A HOME REMEDY, IF YOU TOSS A RAT IN WATER IT'LL LOSE IT'S..IT'LL STOP BITING YOU.

Markus: MAKES SENSE, YOU'LL BE FINE.

Ratman: AH.. AHHAHA!

Ashe: Oh wait, don't we have a message for him?

Markus: TED LOVES YOU, TED LOVES YOU!

Ratman: Wha- Oh My God!

Ashe: TED'S DEAD.

Markus: There's no time!

The Ratman disappears below the surface possibly never to be seen again.

Markus and Ashe are in distress.

Gregor: Not...Entirely in control.

Ashe: Gre- AHH!

Ashe runs over and grabs Gregor and start pushing him along

Gregor: Thank you. I think I'm trying to kill you.

Ashe: Yea- I noticed!

Gregor: Nothing personal.

Ashe: I noticed.

Ashe takes away Gregor's glaive.

We finally arrive back into MeadShire.

as we skid to a halt, Ashe kinda stand up straight and looks at Markus.

Ashe: You're not really...You don't do much running, do you?

Markus: [pants]

Markus: I am not used to physical exertion.

Gregor: Guys, this is no time to be stopping.

Gregor spins around and addresses the group, slapping Ashe's face.

Ashe: AHH!

Markus: He's right.

From the town two adventurers run screaming

Adventurers: AHH MONSTER! FUNKY BEATS, OH MY GOD!

The two adventurers sprint out into the wilderness making their death to sheep almost certain but at least they won't be killed by the strange creature

Thog runs forward.

Thog: Okay, so uh, you guys? What is this? What is this shit?

Markus: A monster got out of the mi- there's no time.

Ashe: Listen, Thog. Thog look-

Thog: What?

Ashe: You didn't tell us shit about the monster that we were going to deal with, didn't tell us about the fact that you didn't even have the place cordoned off. Oh signs, "don't go in here, please stay out" Yeah, sure, real helpful, not gonna stop the monster when he tries to run away if we're about to, like y'know, land the death blow or something like we WERE!

Ashe glares at Markus and Gregor.

Gregor: I was about to.

Thog: I thought you guys were professional monster slayers.

Ashe: We are professional monster slayers, but we can only account for so much... incompetence!

Ashe throws both hands towards Thog and then at everything around me.

Thog: You know what I could- I could say the same, I can only account for so much incompetence destroying the town that I just helped rebuild.

Markus: God damnit, Thog! There's no time.

Ashe: Listen, Thog, the fact of the matter is that the creature got out because you didn't take the proper precautions. Now, we're here to deal with it so-

Thog: You guys ARE the proper precautions, come on!

Ashe and Alex join together in glaring at Thog for a moment.

Ashe: We'll get back to that. What we have to deal with now..is the fact THAT THE CREATURE IS RAMPAGING THROUGH TOWN AND GENERALLY MAKING A BLOODY MESS OF EVERYTHING.

Markus: What the hell are we standing around for? Why? Why are we just standing...[panting]

We run back into town, it's uhh.. oh my god, is it unpleasant.

Markus: Oh no..Are these all dead?

The party quickly analyze the situation and realize some guards offer scattered resistance, one clutches at a broken stump of an arm.

Markus *whispering* I'm so sorry.

You see the creature off in the distance, wailing on his drum.

The skeleton in the middle of town, the skeleton of the overlord, steps from it's plinth.

[rattling]

The lonely... shopkeeper, selling his magic gems, stands before it.

Shopkeeper: I.. I have power. Stay back!

Markus stands up from the body of this adventurer which I had duped so recently and break into a sprint, tackling the other man who he had recently duped.

Markus: You mustn't use its power for something so trivial!

The skeleton's palm impacts your back, sending you both skittering across the ground.]

Markus: BRUTHN!

Ashe hesitantly runs after Markus, while shouting at Thog.

Ashe: -of all the things to be real!

Markus groaning in the background

Gregor runs towards his enemy, then realize that Ashe still has his glaive.

Gregor: Ok-Wait right there.

Markus: I thought it was paper mâché.. But its bone fists... are very strong.

Thog: So uh.. I- I think we should get inside.

Thog: I think we should ge-

Ashe: I AGREE! I agree.

Ashe Drags Markus in the bar

Markus falls backwards through the hole which he had already partially made through the wall.

Ashe throws Markus' glaive at him.

Markus: Wha-, Huh?

Markus: What is-?

Markus: I don't-

Ashe takes the glaive back from Marcus and throws Gregors' glaive at Gregor this time, she then begins to push Markus over to the counter.

Markus: Ah!

Ashe: You gonna be alright?

Markus: I am... losing.. blood.

Markus: Aah..

Ashe: You're gonna be fine.

Markus begins to take deep breaths.

Gregor: I've got two giant monsters...

Old Inny: Ah, Aesling! You're back, you want a uh.. you want another dose of the Old Inny special?

Ashe: Not right now, Old Inny. We're dealing with a problem, ok?

Ashe: Just go sit-

Old Inny: AH, I mean..

Ashe: go sit, go sit-!

Old Inny: ..a little bit of alcohol will wash..

Ashe: GO SIT DOWN! GO SIT DOWN!

Old Inny: ..all your problems away!

Ashe: GO SIT DOWN IN THE CORNER!

Old Inny: Okay, well if you need anything you know who to call. It's Old Inny!

The bartender goes and sits down in the corner.

Ashe: [sighing]

Ashe walks over to the table and slam both her hands down.

[slam]

Ashe: Thog?!

Thog nurses a glass of whatever random crap the bartender is willing to serve

Thog: Okay, normally I wouldn't drink this stuff, but uh...

Thog: [sighing]..some, uh, horse tranqulizer would hit the spot right now.

Thog downs the rest of his glass.

Ashe: Look, Thog, right now we're in shit so deep I don't even think there was ever a top. What I need right now is information! What is that thing?

Ashe turns to Gregor, then looks at Markus who's-

Markus: [moaning]

Who's not in too great shape.

Ashe: What was that? It was, it was like this amalgam of flesh?

Gregor: A big ol' skeleton!

Ashe: Ah no, the skeleton.. I don't care, that-

Gregor: You don't care about?!

Gregor: Its hand is reaching through the wall right now.

Ashe: I- I do care, listen!

Ashe: Listen, Gregor. Gregor, I do care. Just we have other, bigger things to-

Gregor goes and smacks its bony fingers away.

Ashe: Thog, what was that creature in the cave?

Thog: I mean you have eyes what did you see?

Ashe: I saw a monstrosity. I saw horror. I saw something reanimating the corpses of the dead, ripping their bodies out and filling a drum with innards. What-

Gregor: It made me noodles.

Thog: Any chance it could be a uh.. sheep gone rogue?

Markus: Uh..

Gregor: See that's what I kind of expected, but.. we made sure that it's not.

Markus flips myself over onto the edge of the table.

Markus: Uhh! I think.. might've been a spirit of- spirit of vengeance. Eh..

Alex: I believe it was a corrupted human likely the result of a curse quite nasty stuff my home country had quite a few like this one though much stronger

Ashe looks at Gregor and then at Thog.

Ashe: Look, Gregor, talk to Thog.

Gregor: We considered the possibility of a sheep, but we're 90 percent sure that-

Markus: 99 percent. 99 percent sure.

Gregor: 99 percent sure.

Thog: Okay, so.. let's uh, I'll do your critical thinking for you I guess. Uh, what- what did you notice about it? If you really were so close as to land a deathblow what- how did you get it to that point? What's- what's up with this thing? Name its characteristics for me.

Gregor: Uh, really clammy and cold.. and slimy. And it's still a little bit on me.

Gregor shivers slightly remembering its terrible touch

Gregor: Oh, and it was making uh.. a smoothie drum.

Thog: Uhh, what was that?

Gregor: It wanted my belly.

Thog: Wait what? Uh how-

ashe begins Laughing as she walks over to Marcus

As Gregor recites the details of our encounter

Thog stares at the other members, his mouth hanging open a little bit.

Gregor pulls up his robe showing Thog his rock hard abs.

As Gregor is talking to Thog, Ashe uh kinda glances at Old Inny, glances at Thog and kind of..sticks her hand into the wound on Markus' back and start knitting the wounds shut.

Markus: Wuh.

Marcus feels an electric charge run through his skin.

Markus: Hmm..

Markus turns around, and his eyes widen. Marcus smiles ever so slightly at Ashe.

Ashe: Wh- Why are you, why are you smiling?

Markus: We- we- we have some things to talk about later.

Ashe: Whatever you want.. just don't tell anybody that I can...put people back together.

Markus: Don't worry. Your secret's safe.

Ashe: I'll-

Markus: For now

Ashe: Good.

Thog elbows Gregor to get his attention

Thog: Do they think we can't see or hear them from over here?

Gregor: Were you not listening to me?

Thog: Gregor, honestly, no.

Gregor: Guys, it looks like we're on our own.

Markus: Now.. ohh that's much better, thank you, Ashe. Thog!

Ashe rolls her eyes Marcus's over the top and unsubtle nature

Markus: What the hell has been going on here?

Thog: Okay, so from what I can tell from uh Gregor's ... language. Something about spaghetti. Logs. Smoothies.

Ashe: Thog, spit it out! I have no time for your drawling speech patterns.

Markus: We don't have the time. Ashe: We need information fast!

Thog: Yeah, and I need actual information and not the ramblings of uh ... that.

He motions towards Gregor.

Thog: Translate. Please.

Markus: Okay. Here's the skinny. We went into the cave. We went into the back room. There was a creature, emaciated and horrific, that was fashioning a drum out of the entrails and guts of several dead adventurers. It tried to steal Gregors guts to put into the drum, proceeded to bring all of the bodies back to life with said drum, and then escaped out of the cave, into the town, where it has been killing everybody.

Gregor: You just repeated everything I said.

Thog: Drum.

Markus: Drum, hhmm, Thog?!

Ashe: Really? Something we should have known, Thog?

Markus: Out with it!

Thog: Well... you know that whole seasonal event we're running? Lair of the pigbat king?

Alex: Sadly yes I do know of it

Ashe: Yeah, of course. That stupid fucking..

Thog: Definitely not that. Definitely has nothing to do with that. Yeah, no, nothing, never mind I'm just gonna-

Ashe: THOG! Thog: You guys have this..

Markus slams his hand on the table.

[Slam]

Markus: Thog! We don't time for this. Do not screw around with us.

Thog: Well, okay we might have given out a reward we found..okay, bought, from a certain trader who may or may not have broken into..some sort of Alarani treasury. We gave it away because we thought it was a useless log, but uh..drum.. you said, right?

Markus: Drum, yes.

Thog: Oh.

Gregor: What kind of a treasure is a log?

Thog: Yeah, exactly. We thought it was worthless. We kept the good stuff for ourselves, but uh..figured we might as well give away the worthless bits, so we gave away what we called the drum of the destroyer to the first adventurer, who beat down the pigbat king.

Ashe just releases a sigh at the name.

Markus places his head in my hands.

Alex goes and take a mug from the bar counter and down it remembering what They did and now understanding it fully

Markus: Uhhh

Ashe: Hh.

Markus: You gave.. a powerful magical artifact to a woefully, woefully unprepared.. adventurer, and you, you didn't expect anything to go wrong?

Thog: Stuff goes wrong on this island all the time, Markus.

Alex: heavily cursed magical artifact...

Markus released an additional sigh

Markus: Can't say I'm surprised, Thog. Can't say I'm surprised.

Thog: Spare me the holier than thou dissappointment, Markus. I hired you to fix this problem, you should go out there and fix it.

Gregor: Actually I think it's coming in here.

The skeleton has reached almost its entire arm, up to the shoulder, into the inn. It's grabbing at the gem salesman.

Markus: No!

Ashe glances over, but ultimately does nothing.

Markus yells 'no' but ultimately steps back.

Gregor: Uh-oh.

Markus: Ooh, oh. Well..

[laughter]

Gregor: Well, you guys- You were both making.. I didn't want to step on your toes. Arghh!

[More Laughter]

Markus: Okay, Ashe. Let's go.

Ashe: Alright, I mean ahh... Huge help, Thog. Huge help.

Markus: Thog, we will talk later. We will talk later. Words will be had.

Ashe makes a inappropriate gesture at Thog as She step out of the building.

Thog: You have to pay for the damages.

Ashe: No we don't!

Gregor engages in combat.. with this huge skeleton and its human club

Markus cast enlarge person on Gregor causing Gregor to inflate to combat the skeleton

Gregor (deep voice): Why would you do this?

Markus: Just evening the playing field, buddy. You got this.

Ashe: Listen.

Markus: Ashe, run!

Gregor quickly retrieves his own meaty club.

Gregor (deep voice): Your death was not in vain.

The other three have fled, throwing themself over the fence, while Gregor engages in gigantic combat with the skeleton.

Markus mutters under his breath "Uh. Strategic retreat, strategic retreat."

Ashe: Listen, Markus. I think, I think I've got an idea. There was lots of talk of drum this, drum that.

Markus: Yes. The creature seems to be.. well I... you know what I'm getting at, right? You're smart. I don't have to spell it out for you. Get the drum away from the creature.

Ashe: Yeah, obvious? Markus: Yes, of course.

Ashe: Okay, good. We're on the same page.

Markus: It seemed to have a pretty strong grip on it though, we can...Sir, get back in.. Sir? No.

Ashe: No, just- just let him..

A man dressed in the robes of a priest wanders forward, mumbling prayers to himself, holding a rosary.

Marcus kind of reach his hand out and I'm like-

Markus: Sir? I- ooh

Ashe puts Marcus's hand down for him.

Markus: What is.. what is he doing?

Ashe: I don't.. know. Markus: Should we follow him?

Ashe: He's a perfect distraction though.

Markus: He really is!

Alex: he is going to die.

Marcus: so are you going to stop him?

Alex: no, you?

Ashe bolts out from around the corner.

Markus takes an imp that he had summoned ages ago, whisper into its ear-

Markus (whispering): Take the drum from him.

and lobs the imp... in a perfect arch at the thing's drum.

The priest wanders forward.

Priest: Oh, free us from..

The creature stares at him, holding the drum aloft.

The imp flies perfectly over.

The creature sees the imp, turns the drum slightly, and the imp slides into it.

imp the imp stops its constant gibbering, and a wet squelching sound is released

Markus: [gasp]

Markus(softly): No!

Meanwhile, Gregor has the skeleton pinned.

[laughter]

Gregor: Well, my club didn't last very long.

Neither club lasted long in the hands of their giant owners

Ashe: Oh, gross.

Gregor: The town is now newly painted.

Gregor starts ripping apart the skeleton, bone by bone. He has bested his foe and also disassembled him, mostly. Gregor is now armed with a new, much more durable club, and turns to face the real threat.

Ashe makes a mad dash for the priest, diving- kind of arching around and diving at him to try and push him out of the way out of the way of whatever the creature has in store for him.

The creature swings its drum, impacting the side of the priest's head. Ashe pushes him barely to the side, stopping the blow from being absolutely fatal. The priest's body slides backwards, nudging against Markus' foot.]

Gregor (deep voice): Not today!

Gregor begins to swings the giant skeleton's femur down.

But just as, he begins to shrink. The skeleton's femur, now too large for Gregor to wield, seems incredibly heavy in his rapidly shrinking hands.]

Gregor: Wuuhhohoh!

With the force of Gregor's magically diminishing body, the femur swings around, flying over Markus and the priest.

Markus: Wyoh!

The priest begins to whispers towards Marcus

Priest: Ye- ye who are blessed by our Lord. Please taketh this.. humble trinket.

The priest holds up the rosary to Markus.

Markus grabs it.

Markus: Hah! Do you even know me?

The priest falls dead.

Markus: Oh.

Markus pockets the rosary...

The creature appraises Ashe.

Creature: Oh so, uh. The smelly one again. Come on..

Ashe: You keep saying smelly..

Creature: I'm not interested in you. I'm not interested in your bits.

Ashe: GOOD! I- that's good for me. Listen. I DON'T KNOW WHY I'M TRYING TO REASON WITH YOU. WHAT AM I DOING?

Ashe pulls out her sword.

[sword unsheathing noise]

Alex once again draws his crossbow from the void petting it slightly

Markus enters a battle stance preparing spell.

Gregor: You want some bits? Have a bit of this!

Markus: Hahahaah!

to be continued