chapter 4

I could hardly focus on my work. I can't believe I just did that I said to myself. I had found his social media account 2 years after we stopped talking. He had moved on and the girl he was with was the one from my dream. I tried not to be crushed because I to had done the same. Even though this was true it still tore at my heart like a knife and I pushed him to the back of my mind in the cages I'd put up for his memories. When I found him again this morning she was no where to be found in his bio or his pictures so I saw that as a sign things went wrong between them. This sparked an eagerness in me I hadn't felt in a long time. I kept checking to see if he had finally read my message or not and it seemed like he never would. I wouldn't open it if I were him not after the way things ended. In the midst of my thoughts I didn't hear Jacob come in. "What are you thinking so hard about?" I jumped back at his question. My eyes were the size of the moon and he busted out laughing. "Are you ok sweetie?" he asked wiping away tears. I calmed myself and said with my head lowered in guilt. "I messaged him." Jacob was now stunned. The usual chatty Kathy was silent. I looked up at him and he rushed out, "Did he respond?" It seemed like he couldn't ask fast enough. "No." I said with a heavy heart. He looked at his watch and motioned for me to come on. It was lunch time already. I hadn't realized time had went so fast.

As we walked into our favorite restaurant we ordered our food and talked about our day. "Did you see what Crystal was wearing today? I could have vomited that sweater was so disgusting." He said while pretending to gag furthering his point. I was about to say something when I heard a ding from my phone. My face dropped and I froze. Jacob noticing the sudden change in me became worried. "What's wrong?" He asked almost frantic at this point. I stared at the notification. It was Erick and he simply said back "Hey."

"He messaged me back." I said still not believing he messaged back. Jacob was squealed like a little girl. It drew a few people's attention but of course he didn't care. "OMG what did you say what did he say?" he was growing impatient. "We both said hey to each other." I was still staring at his message. Jacob rolled his eyes and settled himself. "Get to the juicy love story stuff." he pouted. "How? Hey I know I haven't spoken to you in seven years want to ride into the sunset together?" I said sarcastically and rolled my eyes at him. "Yes that's perfect do that." he said with a smirk on his face. I felt a weight I didn't know was on me lift. I can't believe he messaged back. Jacob took care of the bill and we were on the way back to the office. He was babbling about details for my birthday celebration. I myself was running threw memories and only heard very little of what he was saying. Jacob noticed and said "Yea and after the cocaine and strippers we can get Erik to come and have sex with you in his car." My eyes snapped to him as I almost yelled "What?!?"

He looked at me "Now that I have your attention again, we can really talk about plans." I calmed realizing he said that to rattle me so I would pay attention. We settled on going out for drinks and hanging out. When I arrived at my office again I looked at my phone. I still hadn't replied to Erik. At that moment Jacob sent me a message. It was a princess, a prince, a horse, and a sunset emojis. I rolled my eyes and sent back "Haha very funny" and closed his message thread. I went back to Erik and started small talk. He replied to each statement and question like we hadn't not spoken in 7 years. It was like before our vibe never changed and that was refreshing. Before I knew it we were getting into more tense conversation. He finally asked "what made you message me?" I got a glimpse of the memory I didn't want to see the day I seen him last.

After we became close him and Anna broke up because she thought he was cheating on her with me. He was available but, I inconveniently was not. I had started dating a guy in my subdivision and he was the capture of my heart at the time. He also tall and almost my skin tone. He was different though tattoos covered his arms and his eyes were somewhere between brown and black. He was mean and abusive. I left him and Erik swept in and it seemed like I was in heaven. Then my ex came back and I lied and told Erik I wasn't ready for a relationship. I had loved my ex without a clear reason, but it was a lie and he made that perfectly clear by cheating on me. When Erik found out the truth he was crushed. I ran into him a few days later. He looked like he had been up for days and he was blank. We made eye contact and he looked like he was in pain but walked away without a word. Then much like before I never seen him again.

I came back to focus thought real hard and decided to pour my heart out to him. "I messaged you because I don't have the strength not to anymore." as I typed those words I realized how true it was I needed him and I couldn't deny it anymore. He didn't respond right away. When he did he finally said "Mon Avenir you have returned to me." My heart almost exploded when he called me my old nick name. It meant my future in french and it meant so much to me to hear him call me that again. Four o'clock came faster than usual. Jacob caught up to me outside the office at my car. I could tell he was antsy. "So what's been going on tell me." he was practically bouncing at this point. I handed him my phone with the messages open. "Go head" I encouraged. Without hesitation he read threw the messages with a quickness. His eyes stopped scanning and I wondered what had stumped him. As I looked at the screen he had messaged back again while he was reading. "when can I see you?" Erik wanted to see me? Before I could come back to reality Jacob was typing. I heard him sing "and send" and I looked at my messages. I looked at him in horror "You told him to come have drinks with us for my birthday?!?" I loved Jacob but he knew how to poke things that didn't need to be. "Raz you need this, just except it." he smirked and shrugged his shoulder. "You just want this to go somewhere so I will dump Derek." I said trying to get him to admit the truth. He shrugged his shoulders again and grinned an evil grin. I opened my car and got in and he blew me a kiss and winked. I rolled my eyes and blew him a kiss back and left.