CHAPTER: 1 (DIARY)
"Mom its 2:30am why are you still awake dad haven't came yet?"
Mom (kim jennie): "No he must be busy that's why he is late"...
"He always come late and you always have to wait for him it's not new thing for us let's go to sleep. don't stay awake for long time it's already too late and you are sick, go to sleep mom you'll not feel good then."
Mom(kim jennie): "You go ahead, i'll go to sleep when your dad will be come back."
"Ok mom,then i'll wait with you too."
Mom (kim jennie): "Ahh see he came."
"Ughh mom why he is hitting so hard on the door does he wants to break it or what!?"
Mom (kim jennie):" Wait let me open it,you please be quite don't say anything and make him angry
he must be tired after work."
Dad (in drunk situation): "heyyy open the door are you dead can't you hear i am standing outside"
Mom (kim jennie): "yes i am coming.
(Opens the door with shaky hands and fear in eyes) cc..come in, yy..you must be tired let me bb..bring water for you."
Dad(angryly): "can't you hear i am knocking the door are you deaf don't you know this my timing to come back huh??"
Mom(kim jennie): "calm down, please don't be angry...here, have some water it's middle of night don't shout."
(He grabs the glass from her hand and throw it on the floor.)
Dad: "don't you dare to teach me what to do I am the ceo of Sejong and owner of this house know your place."
"Dad behave yourself she is your wife she is not a servant you can't disrespect her like this. Everyday you came home like this and raise your hand on mom I can't tolerate your this behavior with mom anymore next time if you raise your hand I will call the police and I will case on you for abuse and harassment."
Dad: "what did she said huh what did she said...is she teaching me how to behave in my own house..huh you...you spoiled her, because of you she raises her voice on her dad it's all your fault."
(raises his hand to hit mom)
Mommmm.....
(Woke up suddenly from sleep and saw mom beside)
Mom(kim jennie):" what happened!! Why you screamed?
Ahh my little girl did you have nightmare again."
"Sorry mom for waking you up I just saw a bad dream about dad again."
Mom(kim jennie): "come here my little kid. Don't be scared I am here with you."
Next morning....
Sorah...sorahh
Wake up it's 8am already, I know it's Sunday but wake up soon girl Your breakfast is ready
Sorah: Yess mumma I am up already.
Mom(kim jennie): "Get ready quickly and come here to eat.
Sorah: Yes mom coming ...
Did you take your medicines and
Did coco ate?
Mom(kim jennie): yes I had my medicine
and alsoI fed to coco.
Sorah: where is he does jae took him for walk?
Mom(kim jennie): yes he went just earlier.
Sorah: ahh That little guy act like he is owner of my dog. I wanted to take him for walk
Mom(kim jennie):It's ok you should be thankful that we got such good neighbour...anyway did you sleep well yesterday? after your bad dream?
Sorah: Yeah mom I did.
Mom(kim jennie): Why do you keep thinking about old things, you always tell me to forget everything but you do the same thing please don't think much about that just forget everything now we don't live with your dad so just forget the past.
Sorah: What are you saying mom don't you know why I still get such nightmares. Can't you see yourself what is your situation right now is all because of him.
Mom(kim jennie): Sorah I am all okay. You just take care of yourself and don't think much about past.
Sorah: Mom now I am used to my nightmares, it's just bad dreams nothing else and can we please not discuss about it Everyday. I just don't wanna ruin my day thinking about that man every morning.
OK I won't discuss about it anymore.
(Take mom's hand in hand with tears in eyes)
Sorah: Mom please don't be sad and Move on from the past now, he did what he wanted to and we are living our life not perfect but atleast we can breath freely here away from him. So don't think about that anymore let's just be happy. I can't see you like this mom please get well soon I am always here with you. I promise mom you'll feel well soon and you'll be proud on your daughter one day.
Mom(kim jennie): yes I know my little girl is going to be very successful one day and I'll feel so proud on my baby. (Wipers her tears)
Now go get ready.
Sorah: Yeah.
(goes in room)
after few time:
Mom...mommm....
Mom(kim jennie): Yes what happened??
Sorah: Mom where is my diary??
Mom(kim jennie): Which diary are you talking about??
Sorah: That one mom, we brought it earlier from city when we went for your treatment.
Mom(kim jennie): Ahh that I kept that in 3rd drawer of your table see there.
Sorah: OK mom i'll see
(Opens the drawer and sees the family pictures with her dad)
Mommm what is this pictures are still doing here why did you keep this still I told you to throw this away last time.
Mom(kim jennie): Don't be angry sorah I can't throw it away, it's just the last memory of us with your dad.
Sorah: Mom I don't want this last memory with this man in fact I don't want any memory of him to be in this house if you can't throw i'll do it.
Mom(kim jennie): Do whatever you want just don't get angry, it will affect on your health.
Sorah: And what about your health mom why can't you just care and think only about yourself and your health why you always want to think and care about everyone??
You spent your all life taking care of this man and what did you got in return, love?? no respect?? No atleast good treatment??
not even his loyalty and you still think about that man huh? I even feel ashamed to think that the man like this was my dad he is not even a human.
Mom(kim jennie): I understand how are you feeling Sorah, but don't hate this much to your dad afterall he is your dad I know he always disrespected me he was sometimes rude with you too but he loves you.
Sorah: leave i just don't want to talk on this topic anymore and ruin my every day...anyway am going to the farm i just want to breathe some fresh air and clear my mind
Mom(kim jennie): Ok go and take care
Don't be there for long time.
Ok bye mom have some rest and take care mom. Don't go outside
(Grabs the diary and goes to the farm)
In road
Heyyy jae you kidoo go back to home now and give coco some water
I am going to the farm now. you can come there later we will draw something
Jae: okkk i'll come later soree toree
Sorah: I am gonna complaint your mom I swear
Jae: ohh really soree I am very sorry
Sorah: hahaha very funny go now
(After reaching to farm)
Sorah in mind: how nice it feels whenever I come here and see the crops waving with air as they are dancing with it and how fresh i feel when i see the river, and those sun rays make her shine like a diamond. This is so beautiful
(Take out diary from bag and start writing on it)
26 jan. 9:30am. sun.
Ahh..finally i am writing in my diary. How happy we feel when we do the things we like and makes us happy. Writing is my favourite thing to do I always right everything i think, whenever i feel happy or sad..however i miss my old diary i forgot that in my old house but i am starting my new life with this new one.
This is me kim sorah 18 years old girl who live in little village with her mom. This is my mom's hometown i used to come here in my vacations to live with my granny. But after my mom dad's divorce and After my granny's death we started living in her house. She was so kind and pretty and my mom looks exactly like her. My mom is so kind and beautiful women she is very strong I just want to make her feel very happy and proud on me i wish I will be able to give her all the thing and happiness she deserves.
She used love dad so much but he had affair with my mom's bestfriend. He started cheating on my mom a month after their marriage he used to drink and come very late at home he always abused and raised hand on my mom. Many time times i got hitted by his belt too when i raised my voice. He was very rude with my mom always. I have seen his very rude side I never know how it feels to getting loved by dad. He never spend time with me it was all because of that aunt mei she was always jealous with my mom and for the money she took him away from me and mom.
I also know that I have a stepsister last time when I went to Seoul to take mom's medicine I saw her with dad couldn't saw her face but she was calling him appa so I understood. Hope she is happy with her family and doesn't have to see what I saw in my life. I didn't tell my mom about this because she will get hurt. But I wish could also call someone appa and be happy and feel safe with dad I want know how does it really feels to get loved and care by dad
In my childhood he used to be my idol I also wanted to be as successful as he is I was feeling so proud that i am daughter of the man who is ceo of very big company but now i feel ashamed that he used to be my Idol and I wanted to be like him i will die but i'll never be like him,
Because of him my mom have to go to hospital for treatment every month. When she went to her bestfriends home to meet her and saw her husband and bestfriend together on the bed she couldn't believe on her eyes. She wasn't able to think if that was true or a dream she was shocked after their divorce my mom started to get panic attacks every night she used to go in bathroom and cry silently as i couldn't hear her crying. She pretend to be okay But I can see all her pain
She went to depression because of them.At the same time she got cheated by her husband and bestfriend whom she trusted alot and they both ruined her mental helth as she has to take sleeping pills to stop the her thoughts. suddenly she sees that day in front of her eyes when they were together and she starts to cry and screm alot. She is fighting with her mental health now.
Once she even tried to sucide she ate many sleeping pills at the same time but i am indebted to jae's dad who is our neighbor, he helped to took her to the city hospital
My mom is the strongest women I have ever seen. I will do everything to make her feel better again.
We are trying to be happy here away from noisy world and double faced people.
we live here in little village which is full of peaceful nature and kind people. I started to take tuition of middle school students when we moved here and to be honest it really makes me happy,I don't earn much from it but we can atleast be happy and feel safe.
Here I have many peoples to make me feel loved and happy jae is also one of them, he is 16 years old now he cares about me and always teases me and try to make me laugh whenever i feel low he is like my little brother he likes to teases me because I am shorter than him but he also respects me in my tuition class he is so naughty and don't like to study i scold him alot but he is very kind.
I don't have any brother but he is more than my brother. I have coco too my pet dog he is very naughty too and cute he is my granny's pet.
Also there I have many cute students who are my bestfriends I teach them I learn from them and we play together when their school days are off. I also miss my old school when I was in Seoul. There was a cute guy in my class in primary school I don't remember his name but he used to call me Soso by my pet name then i changed my school later, i tried to find him on social media but i couldn't,
I miss him so much, he was so calm,quite
and cute guy and I used to irritate him alot he was my bestfriend. hope one day I'll meet him again.
I wish I could go to that school again but, I have to take care of my mom so I don't go to school I just study at home and go to school here in village only for exams. My life is very simple here but I am glad that atleast I have some people to talk with but my mom always stays depressed and sad after that incident but I am happy that slowly she is trying to recover and forget him and move on.
Here,jae came and now I am going to draw something to be honest he is very talented he draws very nice and also taught me to draw and because of him I am interested in drawing also it became one of my hobby. When I came here I also started vloging started to record my happy moments with mom, coco, jae and my students.
I just wanted to try something new with the help of it I can forget past things I really enjoy doing vlogs and recording beautiful moments I never post them online but it's also my one of the hobby. This is all for today I know I wrote here alot but Hope when I'll grow older and read this dairy i'll be proud on myself.
Maybe I mentioned all my favourite and special people and also the people whom i hate, in the first page of my diary except my
(Closes the diary and keep it inside the bag)
Sorah: Hey jae come here let's play...