1 Despair in Life

In one dimly lit room.

Click.

Click..

Click…

One person is clicking away on her mouse while intensely looking at the screen of her laptop.

Around her are empty bottle containers of alcohol scattered all over the floor. The smoke from the cigarettes adds to the dingy atmosphere of the room. All the windows are closed and the curtains are drawn down, letting the smoke from the cigarettes accumulate in the small room.

The laptop was the only light source in the small room. The person who was looking at the laptop had a haggard look on her face, her eyes filled with anxiety and despair. She kept clicking and scrolling as she looked at the comments of the people on the internet.

She wanted to stop herself…

But she couldn't…

Her whole life was bathing in the limelight as a star with limitless potential, her fans numbering in millions. The people adored her as they called her perfect. Agencies would kneel before her to get her to sign a contract with them. Offers would keep pouring left and right until her schedule was so full, she had to ignore most of them.

But everything changed with one accident.

Her life was turned upside down and she was left with nothing. All her accomplishments and hard-earned popularity plummeted, she had fallen from grace. Her once army of loyal fans had turned against her. The media who were once fawning all over her made a spectacle of her fall. No one supported her, except for one person.

One person stood behind her through thick and thin.

She thought she could live a simple life as a normal person as long as that person stood by her side… forever.

She trusted him with all her heart.

She gave him everything.

But now she felt like drowning in the sea of despair as she looked at the news article in front of her.

She could live and let go of all the bashing and bullying made by the public, as they sully her name and reputation. However, she could not let this single article pass by.

"They're all lies!"

She tried to say to herself as she denied the picture that was in front of her. Tears were already streaming down her face as she could not accept it. She grabbed the bottle beside her and drank all its content.

"AHHHHHHHH"

She screamed her lungs out as she threw the bottle at the wall. Broken glass and shards scattered all around the cluttered floor. There were old posters, news articles and photos scattered all over the room.

"How could you do this to me!"

She shouted once more while hugging herself…

But something felt wrong once she made this action. She looked down and the sudden realization hit her. She was missing one of her arms.

It happened 5 months ago.

Yes, she had been in an accident. It happened so fast that all she could see was the bright lights of the hospital. Once she opened her eyes she was shocked, her arm was already gone, her legs were broken and her head was covered with bandages. She did not feel any physical pain at the moment, the anesthetics were still working. The doctor explained her situation once she opened her eyes but she was not able to comprehend a single thing.

Her mind went blank as her thoughts wandered.

What happened?

She had a dazed look as her eyes looked empty, without life. A man approached her bed and called out to her, "Honey, we will get through this together."

A little life came back to her eyes as she saw the man standing beside her bed. He looked tired, his clothes were wrinkled and his face was covered with facial hair. It seems he rushed over to the hospital without any care for his appearance. He was wearing a white shirt, blue jeans and sneakers. It was the most basic clothes he had in his closet. This was what he usually wears when she was not able to help him pick up some decent clothes. She had always berated him to wear something more presentable but her husband preferred comfort rather than style.

He was her husband.

They had been together since their college days. They went through everything, thick and thin. They started from the bottom but with hard work and determination, they both reached the peak of their careers. They supported each other, understood each other and trusted each other.

She bawled and cried her eyes out as she saw her husband looking at her, full of concern in his eyes. He took her one hand and held it gently, he was afraid to hurt her.

There was nothing more she could do as her arm was already gone. She was a very famous model.

Was…

Yes, everything will disappear as she had this disability. No one would want to hire her in the kind of industry that she had painstakingly worked for. Even if her track record was one of the top and the best, she was worth nothing now. All she could do was cry her heart out until she had no more tears to cry.

Her husband explained what happened.

She was told that her driver died in the accident. Police reports said the car lost control because the breaks were not working. They hit a truck as the car went out of control. The news covered her story as fast as they could while her fans sent her gifts hoping for her fast recovery. Her husband tried his best to act strong to support his wife.

He also explained how they would be spending time with physical therapy as her legs were operated on. She would probably be able to walk, but it would not be the same as before. Her whole body was a total wreck.

"Do you have a mirror?" She asked her husband, with a trembling hand she touched her face. Her husband gave her the mirror. She did not immediately look at herself. She was preparing her heart for the worst.

She slowly lifted the mirror but she hasn't opened her eyes. A couple of minutes later, she decided to slowly open her eyes and see her face.

Slowly she could see her chin…

Slowly she could see her lips, there was a small cut but time will heal it. This gave her hope as she fully opened her eyes. She had a couple of small cuts and bruises but there was nothing wrong with her face.

Was this her only saving grace that her face was still the same?

She did not know.

That's what happened in the past several months of her life.

Falling from grace, once a "goddess now a mortal" she thought to herself.

That was the line of one of the headlines of a news article she had read. There was a lot and she read every single one of them. What else could she do? When she spends her life in their small living room all the time.

She did not want to go out because of the pitying gaze of their neighbors. Her so-called friends stopped contacting her once they found out that they could not benefit from her current status. Her agency told her that they were replacing her with someone younger and fresher. They did not apologize or sympathize with her. That was what this industry is like, cold-blooded. They have no use for her so they dropped her. She had seen this many times but not once would she have thought that the same thing would happen to her.

Her once trending status was nothing more but articles of the past. She was once a big star.

She accepted everything, it took her months and was finally able to move on, even if it was just a little. However, this picture was the last straw. She was one step away from insanity once she read the headlines.

"Husband of a once famous model seen with another woman!"

Highlighted in the picture were two people. A woman was holding the arm of a man while the man was looking at the woman. The picture was not clear as it was taken from far away, the fact that it was taken at night added to the blurriness of the picture, but she was familiar with that building. Her husband is a head of a research department in that same facility.

That woman used to visit their house when there were parties and events. Putting the two pieces of information together, she was about to turn crazy.

The only person keeping her from insanity was also lying to her face. She picked another bottle and put it on her lips. She lifted the bottle to drink but it was empty.

Bang… Clash…

Broken glass and shards once again scattered on the floor as she picks up another bottle beside her.

She took one last glance at the picture on the screen and thought of the memories they had together.

Is that it? She asked herself. She did not know how many times she asked herself this same question.

Over and over again.

She took a puff from the lit cigarette beside her as she waited for the front door to open.

Original novel by Chuchuwachuwa.