Ch 29 - Questions, questions...

~March 08, 2021 5:20 AM~

"Eurgh...oh man, I woke up early again." I said as I got my phone and turned off the alarm of my phone.

"Well...I guess I can make a few beats and try to progress a bit more in the EP." I said as I went to my computer and turned it on.

I turned it on, and had 2 ideas in mind to try. One was something similar to Joyner's and Logic's song called "ISIS". The 2nd idea is something I thought of. A melody of some sort that sounded a bit sad. So, there are 3 songs that are the general rap songs, and then the last is something related to my experience as a soldier. Just a generalization of it.

So I went and did it. I did feel a bit disturbed by the fact that I couldn't put in some effects since I wanted to hurry up and have breakfast, but I felt a bit content too since I got the main foundation down, so I can just experiment and do what I want after I get some free time for myself.

After getting the basics down, I sat on my table, and prepared coffee and bread. In the meantime, I thought of some lyrics.

"Hmm…" I started beatboxing the same drums from the 1st beat I made this morning, and thought of a chorus I could start with.

"Woah. I'mma get the head from the Livers, woah. Leavin' fuckers dead when I'm hyper, woah."

"...Hmm…ain't feeling that. Maybe...Woah. Shiro is a goddamn beast on the mic. Shiro kills all 'dem bitches in the fight. Shiro just comes in. Got the girls coming-Okay, let's go with that, actually!" I said as I went to my computer, made a new notepad in a folder that I called "General EP", and I wrote the chorus that I had in mind.

"Alright...well, I guess I can stop for now."

I took my coffee, ate my bread, and then just in the middle of watching some Vtubing clips, I got a knock on the door.

"Oh? Who is that?" I shouted.

"It's me, Temma!"

"Ah, sorry. Lemme get something real quick to cover my face!" I said.

Even though the Holostars and a few girls know about my scar, I still gotta cover it right now since there could be others near the door that haven't seen it yet.

I got a random hand towel, and I used that to cover my mouth, however, I didn't put it on my face. I just put it a distance away from my face so that it can be covered.

I opened the door, and me and Temma met face-to-face.

"Hey, mind if I go in so that your face can still be hidden?" He said.

"Ah, sure."

'Turns out I didn't need to cover my face anyway.' I sweat dropped.

"Thanks." He said as he quickly did some ninja moves and got inside my room.

"Oh...you're still having breakfast?"

"Yeah...though, if you want me to do something, mind letting me finish my breakfast first?"

"Oh, sorry to disturb you at a bad time. I was just wondering if you wanted to talk a bit with the boys, since we're all the table...I mean, Izuru and Kira aren't there yet, but we can wait there."

"Ah, sure. Just lemme finish my breakfast first. I also write a few words on the computer, then I can come."

"Sweet! See you there in the kitchen, man!" He said as he opened my door, and quickly got out, making sure to keep the insides of my room hidden as possible while I also kept facing my back at the door to hide my face.

"Well...I guess I can continue my business…" I said as I took a sip of my coffee and continued eating bread.

I took a shit, showered, and put on some clothes. The type you can immediately go outside with while also serving as clothes for your home.

I went to the kitchen, and I was greeted immediately by the boys.

"Yo!" They said.

"Yo." I replied back.

"Ohayou!" Some girls greeted.

I put my hand up once and let it down as I said, "Yo." to them.

I sat on the chair, and once I got comfortable, me and the boys started our little boys talk.

"So, this morning when a few of us boys and some girls saw each other in the lounge, I heard them playing your music over and over. One of them is actually Calli, believe it or not." Temma giggled.

"Really? Who are the others?"

"One of them was AZKi too." Temma said.

"Might I also bump in the conversation and say that Aki, Roboco, Marine, Pekora, Rushia, and a couple others, even Risu and Iofi, kept playing your music?" Aruran whispered with his left hand covering the left side of his mouth.

"Oh?" I said as I glanced to my right, seeing the girls look at me.

They all immediately looked at each other and acted normal when I made eye contact with them.

"...I see." I chuckled and looked back at the boys.

I looked at my back to see that the Chinese were chilling and talking to each other.

The JP were at the couches, and the ID were leaning against a wall.

The sun was out, the waves made relaxing sounds as it hit against the pillar of the school, and there were a few clouds in the sky. A fine morning indeed. Might've given me some dopamine in my brain.

"Heh. Still can't believe you guys are fussing over my past persona."

"Bothered by it?" Temma giggled.

"Nah...Just surprised you guys like it." I chuckled.

After I said that, I heard a door open, and most of us looked at it.

"Oh, is that Izuru and Kira?" Roberu asked.

"...Yeah." Temma said.

I widened my eyes a bit as I saw the two.

Izuru was looking at Kira as he supported Kira by letting him put his arm around Izuru's neck. Kira looked so...haggard. He looked like he never got out of his room for a year, and looked like he just went through 10 torture methods.

"Oi, what happened to Kira?" I said as I stood up a bit.

"Ah, don't worry too much...he just suddenly wasn't feeling well last night, so I had to accompany him to the hospital, come back here, and let him rest in his room afterwards. I had to come again early morning to help him with breakfast and getting clothes on. He's more or less fine now though." Izuru said as Kira went on his seat.

"Hey, you fine now, Kira?" Oga said.

"Y-Yeah...oh, and please don't give it too much worry, Shiro-kun. My body sometimes does this, so I have to take my medications and check up on my doctor once in a while."

"I see…" I said as I sat back down.

"Hah...I thought it was a bit life-threatening." I giggled nervously.

'So that's why all of them were more or less not as surprised as me. Kira occasionally gets these attacks' I thought.

"Hope you do get better soon. You seem a bit haggard." I said.

"Well, I did get about...5 hours of sleep last night?"

"...Did you go through your phone last night?" I deadpanned.

He looked away and whistled.

"...No?"

'...Kids nowadays...and I'm even one of them.' I sweat dropped.

"Well, nonetheless, my best wishes for you recovery." I giggled.

After I said that, I heard a whistle somewhere, but it wasn't the usual whistle. It's that high-pitched whistle-like sound that projectiles usually make as they drop the ground…

My arms shook, my body trembled slightly, and my brain replayed the exact memory I experienced before with that same sound...that same sound that was heard before disaster struck.

"...Shiro-kun?" Temma said as he looked at me in the eyes, visibly with widened eyes.

Time felt like it froze, and my mind was thinking of two things at once. The first thing was the vivid flashback to my friend's death. The whole memory played back with no mercy. Constantly giving a "Fuck You" to me as if it wanted to tell me that I was the reason he died. The second...?

'Oh god...the girls are here...they haven't even experienced what it's like to fight against dangerous people...even the boys...Kira is currently suffering a lot...oh fuck...OH FUCK…' I thought as I clenched my fists.

'If I don't act now, we're all fucking dead! I don't care about my life, but the others here, and all the students life are at stake!' I thought.

"EVERYBODY, RUN!" I said as I instantly knocked the chair back and ran towards the outside.

"S-Shiro! What're you doing?!" Temma asked.

"E-E-E-E-Eh?!" Iofi said.

"Wait, what's happening?! Shiro-kun?!" Flare said as she instantly stood up.

"Wait, Shiro-kun?! What's outside?!" Civia said.

I looked outside, and even though the sun sorta hurt my eyes, I squinted it and looked for anything weird in the sky, whether it be a black speckle or whatever the projectile could be.

"Shiro-kun!" Shien said as he instantly ran towards me.

"It's…" I mumbled.

"Hey, what's wrong?!" Temma said as he, and the rest of the Holostars, except for Kira, went to where I was outside.

"...It's not there...?" I said.

"OI!" Roberu said as he grabbed my shoulders.

"E-Eh?"

"Is something wrong?" Roberu said.

"...I-I'm sorry." I said as I gently got his hands out.

"You just suddenly said 'EVERYBODY, RUN!' and went outside."

"Um…" I said as I looked away and scratched my head.

They kept looking at me, but in a way where they were both waiting for an answer and also 'cause they were genuinely concerned.

"...I'm sorry, guys." I said as I ran back to the building.

'Fuck…FUCK…FUCKING HELL! I LET MY BRAIN TAKE CONTROL OF MY FUCKING SELF AGAIN! EVEN THOUGH I TRIED SO HARD TO FORGET THAT SHIT! I CAUSED TROUBLE FOR THE OTHERS TOO! GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!' I thought as I gritted my teeth.

After the door opened, I instantly knelt on the floor, and I put my forehead and hands against the floor.

"I'm very sorry for my actions and behavior earlier, everybody! I can't explain why it happened, but I wish for your forgiveness!" I said as I gritted my teeth.

'That one fucking sound triggered me...where did it come from, actually? Last thing I remember, it was from behind...did it come from the HoloCN?' I thought.

Whatever the case, that can't reverse my sudden attack...

"...Hey, Shiro-kun." I heard a soothing voice.

I looked up to see the blonde vampire, Mel. She looked down on me as if she had compassion for me.

"It's okay. We didn't think of anything about what you just did." She said with a smile.

I widened my eyes a bit with a feeling of some comfort inside me.

"Though...what might've caused you to act like that, if it doesn't bother you?" She asked as she tilted her head a bit.

This made me widen my eyes a bit more, but this time, the feeling of comfort went away, and got replaced with a feeling of dread...a feeling of distress, rather.

I breathed a bit heavily while keeping eye contact with Mel as I did my best to "ground" myself with reality while my brain replayed the memory as she said it. Although it's not as vivid as before, it still played in my mind.

'Calm down...there's Mel here in front of me currently trying to comfort me, the boys are still making their way here, it's Monday today, I have a stream to do this 9-' My thoughts got cut off when Mel replied something, entirely stopping my active thoughts.

"S-Shiro-kun...?" Mel asked.

I clenched my fists, gritted my teeth, and slowly lowered my head as I couldn't control the urge to pound the floor with my palm, trying my best to at least make it so that the floor is still in tact, and then I ran towards my room with my two legs as fast as I could, going past Mel within the blink of an eye.

'I need to calm down...listen to music or something...anything that could make my mind forget this moment quickly.' I thought.

This is a bad PTSD attack...one of the bad ones…

I quickly closed the door and took my mask off as I panted.

"Argh...my head is hurting as well…" I mumbled as I grabbed my head.

I put my mask on the wall, and without hesitation, I dug my face into my pillow on my bed.

"Grr...!" I groaned while clenching my hands hard, almost destroying my pillow.

I kept panting and trying to think of something else, Subaru, Ayame, my music, the Holostars, Nijisanji, rap music, anything that could distract my mind from my current attack, even though I knew that it would do little to no effect on it, and it felt like absolute torture having to fight it.

After a couple more minutes, having to utilize everything I could to put my mind at ease once more, I got a message in my phone.

"Hmm...? Old Man?" I said to myself.

The message read: "Hololivers, please go to the multi-purpose building, and sit on the chairs prepared on the stage. We have a new student enrolled in the school. I sadly cannot go there since I'm gonna have a meeting about something, so I told A-chan to take care of it. Please be there before 8:00 AM."

"...It's still an hour later…"

~~Artia's POV~~

I saw Shiro run immediately towards his room. He was so lightning fast, but that didn't catch my eye. What did was the expression of his eyes. I could tell something was happening to him, but I couldn't put my finger on it.

'...He started acting weird after my phone played that one sound as I watched this Japanese documentary…' I thought and blinked twice.

"Say...do you know what happened to Shiro?" Echo asked me.

"I think...? He started going weird after a certain sound that sounded like a bomb when I was watching the documentary…" I said.

"...Oh? A sound of a bomb?" Civia asked.

"You know...the one that goes 'Dew….PSH!'. Those types of bombs?" I said.

"...I think we need to discuss this with the others. I think I might have some sort of lead here..." Civia said as she stood up.

Civia instantly got out of the table and jogged towards Coco. She also whispered something into her ear, to which Coco responded with a smile and a chuckle, leaving me with wonder as to what Civia might be planning.

~~Shiro's POV~~

"Hah...Finally done dressing for the occasion." I said as I sat down on my computer's chair and leaned back while looking at the screen.

'...I wonder how the others will look at me now?'

They'll prolly think I'm crazy...people can't normally understand mentally ill people after all...even friends...I wonder if they'll start seeing me in a different light...I can't even make friends with the same age anymore…

I clenched my fists, wondering if even the boys and Subaru are getting some ideas right now…

"...Screw it, I'll just run at the last minute-"

"S-Shiro-kun...?" I heard through the door.

"Oh...? Subaru?" I said.

"C-Can I come in? Or am I interrupting something...?" She said.

"Nah...you can come in." I sighed and grabbed the mask off the wall and unlocked the door.

She opened the door, and then closed it after coming in. She then looked at me in the eyes and said, "Say...you mind if we sit on your bed?"

"Oh? Sure." I said.

So we did what she said. We sat on my bed, and the room felt a bit tense. Albeit not feeling like pressure is lingering in the air…

'I wonder what she'll say? A bad thing, or a good thing?' I looked away, heart beating just a bit faster.

"Hey, Shiro-kun...about your outburst earlier…" She said.

"Yeah...? I-I'm sorry for acting like that. I was just…"

"...Um...you see...I want to tell you something…"

"Me?"

"Yeah...you see, I don't know why you acted like that, or anything but...I could feel you were extremely uncomfortable…"

She looked at me.

"We may not be close, but I really care about you. All of us do. We're all practically a family here, so we need to help one another. Just know that we're willing to listen to your problems if you have any, okay? I mean...friends help out each other, after all..."

I looked at Subaru in the eyes, processing what she said.

"..." I instantly wrapped my arms around her, smelling a bit of her fragrance, and tightened my arms a bit. I felt a bit of comfort in my heart, being moved from her words.

"S-Shiro-kun...?!" She said.

"T-Thank you…" I said in a soft tone.

"...Hehe. You're welcome." She said as she hugged me back.

'I don't want to experience losing someone precious again...I know I can't save everybody after experiencing it through my service in the military, but...as much as I can, I want to keep these people alive, and I want to spend time with them...even though I don't know if their words are true or not, the thought of it is too painful to think about…'

"For a tough guy who we initially thought as confident and rather big brother-ish, you also have a soft side too, huh?" Subaru said.

"...Yeah…" I said as I let go.

"Oh? You don't wanna hug for a bit longer?" She asked.

"I-I'm fine…" I said while blushing.

"Really? I can stay here for as long as you want."

"Y-You do know we gotta go to the hall this 8 AM, right…?"

She pouted a bit and groaned.

"But I want you to feel at ease until we go!"

"I-I'm already at ease, you know...?!" I said while looking away and blushing even more.

"Really?" She said.

"Y-Yeah…"

'I just got a really hard boner right now...but I can't masturbate to let it go limp again sadly...ah, fuck it, I'll deal with it if I ever get enough alone time.' I thought.

"...Well, I guess that's good!" She said.

She stood up and went to my front by playfully walking with her two legs.

"C'mon! Let's go early! It's about 20 minutes before the event, so we can converse for a while!"

"Um...is it okay though?"

"Yeah...besides…" She said while slightly looking away with a smile.

"Everybody was worried as to what happened to you...and by everybody, I really mean everybody." She said, looking me in the eyes.

I widened my eyes.

'I forgot...it's not just the boys, but even Rushia and the others...I bet they're there at the hall right now, wondering if I'm okay after what I did earlier…'

"But even then, would they forgive me...?" I asked.

"They can't forgive you if you never did anything wrong in the first place. I already told you, didn't I? We all care about you, and are willing to help you if you feel like you need somebody to lean on. Now…"

She grabbed my left hand and then raised it, making me gasp a bit.

"Let's go...besides, some others are still dressing up." She giggled a bit.

I went from a normal expression to a smile, which also made me chuckle.

"Yeah...thank you so much, Subaru. Those words really mean a lot to me, you know?" I said with a wide smile.

She looked at me with slightly widened eyes and a round-shaped mouth.

"...You really are handsome when you smile, even though I can't see under your mask." She giggled.

I blushed a bit and looked away.

"Oh, shut up." I said as she giggled.

Me and her went to the hall, got greeted mid-way by the boys, and we sat down at the stage. We did also encounter a couple students that also happened to be part of the Shiro Fan Club, so some of them were shrieking like hell among themselves.

"So...you feeling better, bud?" Temma said as he put his hand on my shoulder.

"Yeah...Subaru gave me good comfort." I said.

"...You sure you didn't do anything lecherous inside there?~" He said with a smug.

"Oh, shut up, you white slug. I could never do that." I blushed and groaned as I got his hand off of my shoulder, making him laugh.

"Glad to hear you're back to normal though." He said.

"Yeah…"

"Hey, Shiro-kun. Anything you've been doing lately?" Kira asked, who was to the left of Temma.

"Oh? Well, this early morning, I was working on a few songs. I haven't done everything, but it's coming along."

"Woah, you've been on the grind for quite a short time. You're not burned out yet?" Temma said.

"It's still the start, so I ain't stopping yet." I chuckled.

Me, Temma, and Kira conversed a bit more until it reached 8:00 AM. When it did though, I saw A-chan and one girl come from the main entrance of the building.

This girl...she was rather bizarre in terms of appearance. It was a beautiful type of "bizarre" though. Shoulder-length hair with some black strands standing out from her really eye-catching white hair. Almost as eye-catching as my hair. She also had two contrasting eyes. Her left eye was as red as crimson, and her right eye was as blue as the sky.

"Woah...the new student is rather pretty, don't ya think?" Temma chuckled.

"Yeah…"

"She's so pretty! I'm jealous!" Kira said.

'I wonder who this girl is...?' I thought.

She sat near a girl in the very front row, who I realized was IRyS. She looked at me and giggled.

Once the new student sat beside IRyS, she also looked at me, but this time, she waved. I gasped a bit, and Temma and Aloe, who was sitting to my right, looked at me.

"Woah...you caught her attention, Shiro-kun." Temma said.

"I didn't even do anything…" I said.

A-chan finally went on the stage with us, and got the microphone that was set up in the middle by one of the staff members.

"Testing, testing, one two three...Testing, testing...okay." She said as she inhaled and breathed out with the mic pointing away from her mouth.

"Hello, everybody! Thank you for coming here. Today, we got a new student coming from the Philippines! She's half-Japanese, half-Filipino! You must've seen her as she made her way to the stage with me. If you can't recall, she's the girl here with black and white hair." A-chan said as she pointed at the girl, to which she then looked at her back and waved her hands.

"Now, she's gonna be in the same class as class B2-A. Anybody that's in B2-A, please treat her nicely!" A-chan said with a smile.

"Now...enough with me introducing her. It's time for her to introduce herself! She'll be able to tell you everything she wants everybody to know! So, new student, please go and introduce yourself further!" A-chan said as she put the mic on the stand, and stood at the side as the white and black-haired girl came up on the stage.

"Um...is the mic working?" She said as she grabbed it.

"Okay…" She said as she breathed in and closed her eyes, as if she was recalling what she was gonna recite in mind, making sure she knows the important points.

"Everybody! My name is Maruyama Shiina! As A-chan said, I'm half-Japanese, half-Filipino! I wish to make friends with everybody here, and also show everybody my dancing and singing skills! I can also speak 5 languages. English, Japanese, Filipino, my native dialect back in the Philippines, and Korean! And one more thing from me…"

She looked at me, making everybody look between me and her.

"...Eh? Wait what?" I said to myself in English.

"Hello po, Kuya Shiro. Galak na galak ako na nagkita na tayo! (Hello, Big Brother Shiro. I'm very happy that we finally meet each other!)" She said.

I widened my eyes a bit as people started talking to themselves.

"Shiro-kun?"

"'Kuya Shiro'? What does that mean?"

"Did she just speak Korean?"

"'Kuya'? I think that meant 'brother' in Filipino…" I heard Ollie say a couple chairs to my right.

"Oi, Shiro-kun. What did she just say?" Temma said.

"Even I don't understand what she's saying…" I said.

I stood up a bit.

"Hoy! Ba't 'Kuya Shiro' ang tinawag mo sa akin? (Hey! Why did you call me 'Kuya Shiro'?)" I replied back in Tagalog.

"Oh…! You really can speak it!" Temma said.

"Oh? I forgot that you actually weren't informed by your mom." She giggled nervously, and still spoke in Tagalog.

"Well, if you got questions about our blood relation, I think I'll be free this snacktime and lunch. Remember, B2-A is my class." She giggled.

She faced the audience again, and ended the whole introduction with "That'll be all from me, thank you, everybody!" in Japanese.

I sat back down slowly, thinking back to that one line she said to me.

''Kuya Shiro'? Is she just being polite, and knows me as an acquaintance? No...it has to be something related to blood, since she said "ang ating kaugnayan ng dugo (Our relation in blood)"...but that's weird though, using "Kaugnayan (relation)" instead of the more common word, "Relasyon"...maybe to keep this between us to prevent further information spread? But how does she know me, and I don't know her? Why did mom keep quiet about this though?' I thought.

"Woah, what did she say?!" Temma asked.

"Apparently, me and her are related by blood, and I'm apparently her big brother." I said.

Temma, Kira, and Aloe deadpanned at me with very wide eyes.

"...I'm sorry, what?" They replied in unison.

"Look, don't ask me, okay? Even I don't understand what the hell she means…"

"...If I'll be honest, Shiro-kun." Aloe said.

"Hmm?" I said as I looked at Aloe.

"You two have similar faces...your red eyes also look really similar. I don't know anybody who has eyes more red than yours. I'd say the chances are quite high." She said.

I looked back at Shiina, and squinted my eyes to see her eyes a bit easier.

'Now that she mentioned it, her eyes do look quite similar to mine, if I compare my eyes' mental image to her eyes.'

It's a bit hard though, since she has heterochromia. Only her left eye was red, so her right eye is a bit distracting.

"Well, aside from that weird talk between Shiro-kun and Shiina-chan, I guess she is done introducing herself. Everybody, please treat the new student with kindness! And Shiina-chan, respect your senpais and classmates too!"

"Hai!" Everybody replied.

"Well then, that shall conclude the whole gathering! You all may now go back to your classrooms! Oh, and IRyS-chan, please guide her to the classroom. Shiina-chan is new to our school, so I doubt she knows her way around this school."

"Hai!" IRyS replied to A-chan.

Me and the Hololivers went out the back, and started to go back to the Holohouse. I, however, while walking with the Holostars, slowly stopped in my trails as I kept thinking back to what she said.

"Hey, you're still going with that thing about your possible blood sister?" Temma said.

"Oh? Shiina-san was Shiro-kun's sister?" Oga said.

"P-Possibly." I said while looking away while still theorizing.

"Still can't believe you didn't stutter at all with that language. I assume it's Filipino, since she's from the Philippines...you know her from the Philippines?" Roberu said.

"That's why I'm trying to recall my memories from the past. As far as I remember, I'm pretty sure I don't know any girl that looked like her. She's so unique in terms of physical appearance that I can't miss her if I really saw her somewhere...but then again, she has heterochromia, and I don't know anybody who has that. So all in all, I don't know her."

"Hmm...well, don't fret too much." Astel said.

He tapped my shoulder twice.

"She did say that she's free at lunchtime and snack, and we all know the time of it, right?"

"Yeah...well, I have a stream to do later, so...I guess I'll just worry about it after the whole stream."

~~Shiina's POV~~

Everybody got out of the seats, and you could hear the footsteps and squeaks that the shoes made as we walked out of the building. When we got out, I kept walking alongside the purple-haired girl, which I found out is named "Iris".

"So uh...Iris, nice to meet you!" I said in Japanese.

"Hai! Nice to meet you, too! You can speak in English or in Japanese to me. I can speak either!" She replied back in Japanese.

"Oh, really? Do you mind if we speak English? It's a bit easier on my mind." I said in English.

"Sure!"

"So uh...you talked about something with Shiro-senpai earlier at the stage. What was it about? You addressed him as 'Kuya' or whatever that means."

"Oh? Well, if I'll be frank…"

I looked at her.

"He's my distant biological brother."

"W-What?! Your real brother?!"

"Well...more like my distant biological half-brother. Nonetheless, we're related by blood, and he's my big brother."

"Really? Do you mind telling me more about that at snacktime?!" Iris asked.

"Sure! I'd love to get to know you more too in the process."

"Yeah! Oh, and by the way, my name is Irys! Not 'Iris' as in the part of an eye, but it's spelled I-R-Y-S! I prefer it spelled with all capitals except for the 'Y'!"

"Oh...I thought it was the iris of an eye." I giggled, making her giggle too.

"Yeah...oh, and meet my friends too! They're really good friends! Though, please speak Japanese to them. They can't handle too much English, so go easy on them if you do speak it, please." IRyS said.

"Sure! Yoroshiku onegaishimasu!" I said as I waved at her friends, making them wave back at me.

'Big Brother Shiro...I can't wait to see what our future holds!' I thought in my mind while letting out a small giggle.