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Miserable Wanderer

A massive nerd dies and gets reincarnated, his excitement gets the best of him. The first words he hear are "Get to work slaves!" When he looks around and sees grotesque figures mining with oversized pickaxes his stomach drops to his colon. [Multiverse fanfic, starting in Warframe.] "Status." [Status displaying] Race: Grineer[100%] Level: 0 Status points Available: 0 Stats: Vitality: 1 Strength: 1 Agility: 1 Intellect: .3 Mastery Rank: 0 [Inventory] Strength Quote. "USELESS DISGUSTING MAGGOT FILTHY WORM WHY ARE YOU BREATHING MY AIR !"-Councilor Vay Hek The cosmos weeps at this mans fortune. A distant "FUCK MY LIFE" can be heard Cover not mine THERE WILL BE MULTIVERSE TRAVEL JUST NOT IN THE TRADITIONAL SENSE.

SoupHarbinger · Video Games
Not enough ratings
85 Chs

Buying upgrades

Yep.

I'm rolling in credits baby..

Time to go shopping, this crusty grineer armor needs to get off my fucking body. It is starting to smell like corpse starch.

The shopping area of the relay is absolutely fucking gigantic.

It spans for What seems like miles, with grifters at every corner trying to sell some snake oil shit.

Mostly corpus, not to be racist or anything but uhh.

Corpus love scamming the fuck out of people, it's like an elder scrolls racial trait.

Like [50% more likely to scam a retard] or something.

I walk down the hall and many of the merchants are selling guns, rugs, and even floofs.

I almost bought a wisp floof, for umm. Reasons.

Armor is my priority I need to stop looking at random flea market bullshit.

Some of the guns are nice though.. I have enough weapons for now, so I should just stop ogling.

Armor.. Armor..

God mine stinks like rusty onions..

Jesus how many scammers live in this relay?

Tenno need to clean up this stupid ass place.

*bang*

*bang*

Finally a gotdamn smithy.

A small parlor with many futuristic tools lying around burns my eyes with a crusty mist, a shirtless and bald man sits and bangs on a curved piece of metal with a comically large hammer, his legs are completely cybernetic and a firm line stands at his upper thigh where skin and metal meet.

"What is it tubeman?"

He continues hammering, not even glancing at me.

"Hahaha I could smell that shit stain alloy from a mile away."

"That's why I'm here."

The old man lifts his gloved finger to a large rack.

"Take a look."

Racks of colorful and dark armor cover the sides of the shop. Some very grineer, corpus and hybrids.

The price tags on alot of them are way above my pay grade.

Some being 500k credits, the most expensive is 1 million. A sleek white suit of armor with a white goggled helmet with blue glowing eyes and a night vision attachment built int, the arms of the armor have built in knives, and small caliber guns that pop out, the legs have small exhausts that shoot off the fumes from hostile planets and also can function as thrusters for dashing, using only oxygen as fuel.

Badass but expensive.

"Ah, out of yer price range?"

"Yes."

"Haha expected of a tubeman, try that row."

He gestures to my right.

A couple sets of dark armor sit, titled against the wall and covered in dust.

"Even if they are old,. those are still better than that shit the grineer make, all adaptable helmets, could breath on a damm asteroid with those."

I pull out an archaic set of armor, it looks like some kind of steam punk witch doctor shit.

"Ah, I made that one a long time ago for a strange fellow, he died before I could give it to em, 3 shotgun blasts to the stomach I tell ya."

This one would cramp my style..

Huh what about this one.

A black iron looking armor with a huge curved helmet with 3 glowing eye spots.

"Ah, that ones was for some bandit warlord fuck, he got decapitated by a warframe haha. The 3rd eye slot Is something of a hi power flashlight. It also has breathing capacitor for inter space junk."

This one is pretty good..

Its techno punk enough to fit my style aswell.

"How much for this one?"

"Ohh, trade yer armor and 15k credits."

"Sure."

I plop my armor off quickly, all of it I held on by shambles and grineer factory bullshit.

"Woah, yaint grineer son? Tenno? Human?"

"None, dont worry about it old man just give me the armor."

I slap the credits down.

"Sure sure."

He takes the helmet and picks up a red hot brand, the symbol being the head of a bull goat facing sideways.

"Here ya go son"

I strap the helmet on and fit the rest of the armor, it fits much nicer and is nice and toasty in the right spot and cool on my man parts.

The visibility on this helmet is much better than the shit one I had before, and the flexibility is crazy, I can scratch my back now.

"Thanks you old bag."

"Fuck off ye piece o shit."

Phew..

With my new armor and less wealth I walk out of the shop and continue exploring.

This new armor is fucking sick, everything around me is visible I actually have some real spatial awareness..

I steal a few glances at what looks like a strip club but steel my resolve and march away.

No

Prostitutes want your money not your love!

Fake slop..

Interesting that even that kind of stuff exists in this kind of world, I mean a corpus can probably find any girl and get with them just by flashing their wealth, wich I guess is no different from just getting a prostitute.

Grineer are sterile and most Tenno are underage so you would think that kind of stuff isnt that big but alas, people be doing people things.

Ah what was I doing again?

oh right, shopping

I have new armor so what should I look for now?

Feel like I'm missing something..

Damnit. What am I missing?

Guns. Check.

Armor. Check.

There was definetly something else..

Fucking hell who cares, forget about it..

Time to go meet with the others.

The walk to the main plaza is a long one, I'm in the damn trenches right now.

[30 minutes later]

Main plaza, it still just as busy as ever, warframe stomp and mingle among normal people, various mercenaries and merchants pleading for people to buy their products for platinum.

My eyes scan the crowd and I cant seem to pick out the boys from the masses, this is my bad. I chose the shitty meeting spot..

I am dumb as a stone for choosing the most packed place as a meetup spot. Damn my stupidity.

Uh.

Guess I just walk around until I find them.

Toodle doodle doo..

hmm

hmm.

WHERE THE FUCK ARE THEY!?!?!

I told them to meet here.. Did they forget or are they daft?

My shoulder slams into some tard, well more like he slammed me cause I was just standing still looking for my friends.

"HEY DUMBASS!"

The man shouts at me, I ignore him because a fight right now would sour my mood.

"Hey.. You knocked into me jackoff."

I turn and face the man. Red Veil of course.

Dumbass.

"You wanna die merc twerp?"

"Dude, chill out you walked into actually."

"You caught on a bad day fucker."

The red veil guy pulls out a big ass knife and plunges it at me.

Much to his dismay I catch it with my hand and send a gut punch right at him, he collapses backwards and begins violently puking.

Dumbass.

I walk away and continue searching for the gang.

[1 hour later]

There is one last place I can check.

My legs stride a bit faster and until I hit the bar that we regular.

The door slides open and rings with a happy fiddle.

My eyes glance to the barkeep, a young man with a grey tight suit on and some weird space goggles on his face.

Then I scan the room.

Fucken knew it.

Drum and Gome, passed out with what must be 40 shot glasses on their table.

Bastards spent the credits on fucking alcohol, how stupid are they? I expected better.

I kick the bottom of the table and their heads bounce up and slam into the table as they come back down.

"Whad da hel!"

Gome flails his arms hysterically and looks at Drum.

"Ye battard!"

He slaps Drum who wakes up and starts yelling at Gome, soon a slap boxing match ensues.

"Hey."

Gome turns with his hand against Drums face.

"Wha ure are ye?"

"Its me."

"Boss!"

Drum claps happily.

"What's dat shit ya got on?"

"Just a little upgrade, I see you all wasted your credits, dumbasses."

"Sorry boss, I was tired and wanted a good break."

Gome shrugs and lights up a cigar.

"Well.. I don't blame you I have been tempted."

I just took a half year pseudo vacation so I honestly cant blame them for wanting to have some fun for a couple days.

"What now?"

Gome asks me, I reply.

"Well I was thinking of joining a larger mercenary coaliton or getting contracted.. Maybe stop doing merc work all together and just find a better job."

"Hmm."

Gome hums.

"Im sure whatever you choose it will be fine for us."

Hmm.

I have been in this world so little I actually haven't thought of the future since everything is coming so slowly..

What to do eh..

Mercenary work isnt the only thing fighting men can do in this world, bodyguards, joining an army, raiding the void for merchants associations.

Lots of options.

[AN]

Stones... Precious stones..

[New armor]

Chapterly song suggestion: Die by The Blade - Beast in black.