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Mindless seeking for happiness in an[other] world[s] as [Me] a goblin

A "random" depressed and borderline insane guy is killed in a home intrusion accident and got reincarnated as a goblin. If not for the fact that he's a waste he could've done better in his second life, but oh well, he failed in it too. Then why does he even have a s.t/y?.r/y? W?.h>?Y?. a?m? eh?/r.r/E? Wo? a.R..??r/. y?.y>,o? [Friend]

DaoistBadWriter · Fantasy
Not enough ratings
45 Chs

Norn's personal female.

After some thinking about the meaning behind "Make fire" Norn decided to stop.

He wasn't brighter than those goblins, thus it was hard for him to guess whether or not the goblin knew what fire is.

Or did he mean that once he's fully grown he'll be able to use magic?...

"Stop thinking about it already!"

He said loudly. Many goblins immediately looked at him as if he wasn't the brightest goblin among them.

Goblins had their standarts too, you know?

Norn didn't elaborate and simply returned back to his pile.

He didn't want to eat that pig leg and the little piglet raw, it wat too barbaric!

However, as he remembered that he's a goblin now, he decided to test it out.

Since the piglet was too small he bit on the leg.

It tasted like half-rotten piece of meat with some iron on top.

He almost threw up.

He couldn't eat it raw after all!

Well, he could, but it wasn't tasty!

As such, he needed to find a way to produce fire.

And, since he was just a little internet goblin in his previous life all of his skill amounted to writing insults on the internet really fast.

Other than that he was a completely talentless piece of... human.

As such, even if he was given a full box of matches now it wasn't guaranteed that he would be able to make a proper campfire.

The best idea that came to his mind was to wait until something caught fire on it's own, and then just maintain it...

However, before he could even understand how stupid of an idea that was he realised that he could have a helping hand!

Females! Those might be able to use some magic, right!?

So, he decided to approach one of them and try his luck. Maybe his skill allowed him to talk to all of the sentient things in this world?

It was also a great opportunity to test it out.

As he was about to get even closer to one of the females the big goblin shouted at him...

"No go to female! Mine!"

He sounded somewhat angry while he said it, but Norn thought that he'll be able to outsmart him!

"I go make fire!"

He said confidently, he was sure that if an old goblin knew about fire, then that big one would know for sure!

"YOU NO MAKE FIRE MY FEMALE!!!"

He screamed even louder and ran towards Norn!

Big goblin didn't even bother to think about other goblins, as he just pushed those around if they were in his way!

However, as he approached Norn he got hit in his chest!

Soon after Norn followed up with a punch in the head, after which the big goblin just fell on the ground.

Norn's heart was pumping like crazy now!

It was the first fight in his life... in which he actually struck back, that is.

"I STRONG, I LEAD NOW!"

He decided to follow up with a "badass" sentence right after.

However, none of the goblins really cared, as barely any even looked at the fight itself.

Norn couldn't understand why it was like that, he crearly beat the strongest goblin among them, shouldn't they praise him as their new leader or something?..

However, since he was too hungry to bother about such thing he decided to continue doing what he did before... i'm not talking about embarassing himself.

As he approached one of the "new" females she squinted and tried to run crawl away from him.

Norn could see that her legs were broken, as they were covered in blood and looked somewhat strange, as if someone purposely folded them in the wrong way some time before.

He didn't care too much about it and said...

"Do you know any fire magic? I want to make a campfire."

After a slight pause female's eyes became almost twice as big and she screamed, losing her consciousness.

Some goblins that obsevred Norn giggled after it happened. They thought about a different thing.

Norn, however, wasn't in a mood to to be kind and nice!

He tried to wake her up by hitting her on her cheeks lightly.

He wasn't that evil, so he took a nicer approach.

After some time she finally opened her eyes, but as she saw Norn sitting on top of her she fainted again.

He couldn't understand why it happened once more, maybe she was barely even alive now or something like that?..

But, as he looked down he noticed something that was usually covered between his legs...

He wasnn't wearing any clothes!

"Oh for gods sake!"

How could he forget about it!?

After a brief examination of his new friend he was satisfied, it was of decent size.

He wasn't really happy with him, as he was the reason behind his fail right now!

As such, Norn tried to find some clothes in the cave.

To his surprise none of the goblins, except the older ones, actually wore anything!

He wondered why he didn't notice that before...

After some thinking he decided to take clothes from the female, as she didn't need those anyway.

However, after he touched them... let's just say that his face was full of regret after it.

He then started looking around the place to find anything to cover himself up.

As one of the older goblins noticed that he asked Norn:

"What look"

At first he didn't understand what the older goblin meant, but after some actual thinking he got it...

"Cloth! I want to wear cloth so female look at me!"

It was the best response he could think of at the time, he didn't even lie.

"You want cloth! Take there"

He pointed his stick in a seemingly random direction.

However, as Norn approached the place he found some clothes on the ground!

They were all dirty and resembled something that people wouldn't use as rag to clean dust off the table, but he was satisfied.

It's not like any of those goblins would care about the brand of his clothing, would they?

Even if they did, so what? He could just beat them if they didn't like him!

He finally felt like a predator after beating the big goblin!

He was the one getting bullied before, but it was now his time to shine!

He was bigger and stronger than other goblins, so he could do whatever he wanted!.. Unless they teamed up, of course...

After successfully "equipping" those rags Norn went to the female again.

This time he made sure that he wasn't showing any of his privates.

The female, strangely, wasn't unconscious. Norn thought that she pretended the last time she saw him...

"Can you help me make a campfire?"

He asked her again. This time she didn't faint, but she didn't respond either.

He couldn't see anything strange happening with her face, so he thought that she simply didn't understand him

However, as he was about to facepalm himself and go back to his pile...

"How can you talk?"

The female actually answeed! What a surprise that was for him!

"Answer my question first"

He felt strong, so he acted strong! HE gets to ask questions here!

"I can help you..."

Her voice became fainter, as if she was afraid of Norn.

"Good, let's make a campfire and i'll share some food with you for helping"

After saying so he stood up and started walking towards his pile.

However, after a moment or two he didn't hear any sound behind him, so he looked back.

The female that he told to follow him had bloodied legs. Forget about walking, if she survived another week that would be a miracle.

Norn facepalmed himself. He looked dumb even compared to goblins!

He got back to the female, she was about to tell him something but he picked her up before she could so and she didn't try again.

As he carried her to his pile some of the goblins voiced their complaints:

"Why take female for one!"

"Hey! I find her! Let mine!"

"You too greed!"

He couldn't understand most of whatever they said, but from those words that he did understand he realised that goblins weren't too happy with what he just did...

"MINE FEMALE! TOUCH AND GET MANY HIT!!!"

He even made his voice sound as manly as possible, it didn't work too well and he sounded like an angry 10 year old.

It was, however, enough for goblins to shut up for good. None even dared to look at him anymore!

Satisfied with his strength he placed the female on his pile.

"Dont try to kill yourself, that's first. Second - be a good girl and none of the goblins will touch you."

He explained to her briefly. He would feel troubled if she tried to kill himself.

Not because he was a good guy or something like that, it's because she was on his pile! It was basically his bed!

What if she soiled it with her blood, or tried to burn it?! Where would he sleep? On the ground, like other goblins? Like hell he would do that!

The female didn't respond and simply nodded. It was weak as hell and even Norn could see that she was barely alive.

He then started looking around in hopes of finding something he could burn.

After some walking around the cave he didn't find anything that was dry enough.

Things here were either cowered in blood or in... something worse.

Sometimes it was both, and Norn doubted if that thing actually burned well.

As such, he decided to go out to look for dry branches outside of the cave.

Before doin that, however...

"IF I GET BACK AND FEMALE SAY YOU TOUCH, I HIT MANY GOBLIN MANY TIME!"

He screamed on top of his lungs, if it was his previous world people would think that some angry 10 year old was making a ruckus.

None of the goblins voiced any complaints and he left the cave peacefully.

However, he wasn't going to leave a woman alone, it was too dangerous, as if those goblins "broke" her he wouldn't have a source of information!

As such, only three or so minutes later he was already running back with hands full of dry branches.

They weren't perfect but it's not like he could choose, he wasn't in some "Make a campfire at home!" shop after all.

When he got back he was shocked!

None of the goblins actually touched "his" female!

None were even close to his pile! He felt insanely happy inside, as it meant that they actually listened to him!

After just a moment he made a pile of branches near his own pile of dry plants.

He didn't think too well about it, and since he saw pictures of people making fires in the cave it was a perfectly reasonable idea for him to make it right here.

He wasn't THAT stupid however, he made it somewhat far from his bed.

He then picked up the female and brought her closer to the fire...

"Make some fire"

He told her as he held her in his hands. It wasn't that big of a deal for him, it was surprising at first, but when he remembered how strong he actually was it felt normal.

The female then chanted something Norn couldn't hear properly and a small fire appeared in her hand.

She then blew on it for several seconds and a campfire was made!

It made Norn happy, he could finally cook!... If only he knew how to cook properly...

After some thinking he decided not to let the female lie on the stone floor and brought some dry plants from his bed.

However, as he turned to look at the campfire again, he saw that many goblins were all around it!

They didn't touch the woman nor the flame, but they appeared there too fast! It was scary how sneaky they are!

He didn't bother screaming at them.

After making something that resembled a thing you could sit on he placed the female there.

As he sat next to her he remembered that he forgot to bring his piglet and the leg!

Thus, he stood up and went to pick it up, silently cursing at himself.

After sitting down again he suddenly realised that he didn't know to cook food on the campfire!

As such, the best thing he could think of was... To rely on a woman to cook food! Just like in his previous life!

"Can you cook it for me?"

He asked somewhat gently, considering that he's a goblin talking to a half-naked female.

She didn't respond at first, but then:

"Bring a some good sticks here, i will tell you how to make a... thing that will help you cook it"

Norn was dumbstruck. She said the most obvious thing, but he himself couldn't think about it!

He clearly knew that it was a thing, but why couldn't he think of making it himself!?

His intellect wasn't better than that of a goblin!...

Oh, right. He had Intelligence stat which wasn't taht high... Maybe that was the reason?.. (Spoiler: he's just stupid)

He quickly ran out from the cave again and took some branches from nearby trees.

When he got back he saw that some goblins tried to cook their meat too!

It was strange to his, as they clearly used sticks, how could that be that they knew how to cook, but didn't know how to make fire!?

When he got back he made a thing that held his pig leg above the fire.

It was the one that could usually spin, but since Norn isn't the smartest person in the world it couldn't.

The female beside Norn didn't do anything as she simply stared at the fire.

It looked to Norn like she accepted her fate already.

He, however, didn't know if she was "used" or not, since he could see any sings of her being beaten or anything.

The most obvious thing were her legs, but that's all that was damaged on her.

"What's your name?"

He asked the female. Since he thought of using her later he needed to know at least that!

"I dont have a name."

It was a surprise for Norn, how could one not have a name, thus his question:

"How is that possible? Did you parents not name you or something?"

"They did, but i lost it after an... incident."

Norn couldn't understand it. Was a name something more than just a way to call someone in this world?

A name is a name! How could one lose it!?

"Okay, then what was your name before that incident?"

"Erika"

He finally got her name! Well, it's not like it was a reason to be happy since it was literally useless to him, but whatever.

"Erika, eh? Nice name. Mine's Norn"

He didn't make up a new "badass" name for himself as he was happy with the one he had.

"You have a name? But you are a goblin?.."

She looked at Norn strangely. To her, only "highborn" people could have a name.

Those with a family, people that cared about them and such. She didn't know that goblins had names!

As they weren't alone here, many goblins overheard what Norn said.

They couldn't understand what the female was saying,but strangely enough they did understand Norn, as such:

"Norn! Goblin Norn!"

"NORN!"

Some started crying out his name.

It scared Norn as he shrugged for a second, but as he thought about it he felt somewhat happy.

Those goblins knew that he had a name! Since Erika said that only some people could have it, doesn't that mean that he's a noble goblin now!?

As such, he started screaming along with them...

It laster for a good minute before he got bored of screaming his own name out loud.

When he stopped, he looked back at Erika:

"Since you lost your name i, as your new owner, can name you, right?"

It was a genuine question, he wasnted to know how some things worked in this world.

What exactly will he understand once she answered? Well, he doesn't know either.

"Yes, i suppose..."

Her voice was far from sounding happy or excited, the reason behind it was obvious.

"Then your new name is Erika. Oh, wait, what a coincidence! It sounds exactly as your old one!"

He made a "joke". None of the goblins reacted, even Erika was just silent after he said it.

It was just too funny.