I Know I Have A Problem

"Are you saying you're not curious?"

The same question kept replaying in Maijima's head, still unanswered, and still being asked over and over again. Was he curious? Well, simply put, yes. In a way, anyone would, especially with how secretive Yuno is. The question there would be, why wouldn't he be curious? Despite knowing him the longest out of all the teachers, Maijima is slowly coming to terms that he truly doesn't know much about the boy. He only knows what Yuno allows him to know. It make Maijima wonder where he sits on the teen's list of people he trusts.

A groan from below him pulled Maijima out of his thoughts. It startled him and he looked down beside him, Yuno shifting around in his sleep. His brows were pinched together and his eyes moved around behind his eyelids, like he was searching for something. His lips were downturned in a slight frown and slightly agape. His bangs were plastered to his forehead, slightly damp from the light sweat.

Maijima, in all honesty, hated this look on Yuno. The boy always looked like this, and that made it even worse. The way Yuno looks now is not how a normal teen boy should look. No, a teen boy should look peaceful when he sleeps and joyful when he's wide awake. He shouldn't be afraid of sleep or scared to pursue his own goals.

Goals, not dreams.

Oh, that's right. Yuno didn't have dreams he'd like to achieve. That decision was made for him long before he was even born. His one and only fate, or so his dear parents say, is to become the strongest, become merciless, and become unfeeling. Feeling only gets in the way, feeling any sort of pathetic emotion is exactly what is described, pathetic.

But it's not pathetic, and it doesn't make a person weak. It makes them caring and kind. So many times had Maijima said that, tried to help Yuno believe that he was supposed to feel these things. It was okay to be afraid, it was okay to feel happy. And so many times Yuno rejected those words, he became angry, responding with words such as "that makes no sense" and "if I feel such humanly crap, I will become vulnerable."

Vulnerability is the essence of human emotion. Maijima had answered, multiple times.

Alas, Yuno would say he hates being vulnerable, it only gets in the way, and confidently, he would end every conversation about emotion with a simple phrase. "I will wipe every single feeling I have across the face of the earth, even if it kills me."

"At least then, I won't be so inclined to make decisions based on my parents."

It all led back to those horrible people, they didn't deserve Yuno, they never did. Nor did they deserve Yume, god, Yume didn't deserve anything happening to her. As soon as they realized how weak and kindhearted Yume was, the parents decided to have another, one more obedient. They'd find a way to make the second child more obedient, one of a more heartless nature.

Yuno…is afraid of becoming heartless.

Despite all his talk about becoming an unfeeling person, he despises any heartless people he comes across. What he describes as heartless and selfish, Maijima knows the boy is talking about his fear of hurting the few people close to him. What if he hurts Kisu? What if he stabs Maijima? What if he leaves Yume all alone?

No, he'd never leave Yume behind, no matter how heartless he might end up.

Maijima shook his head. No more, that's enough thinking about depressing topics. What matters at the moment now is Yuno, who seemed to be somewhat less fitful in his sleep now. His eyes were not as rapid in looking around behind his eyelids, his frown was much less prominent. Maijima used two gentle fingers to push away the bangs still clinging to Yuno's forehead. Like a hen to her chick, Maijima stroked his fingers through Yuno's hair, making sure it was free of knots.

Yuno seemed to unconsciously lean into it as his head shifted under the weight of the large hand, fitting into his palm perfectly. Oh, he feels safe. Maijima smiled, the corners of his lips upturning slightly.

"Why…?" Yuno's groggy voice filled Maijima's ears and he pulled his hand away so fast, he might've pulled something in his arm.

Yuno pried his eyelids open, as if he were lifting boulders off the ground. He squinted, his eyes narrowing into slits as he focused, from the looks of it, a little too hard.

"Hey, bud," Maijima greetly softly. "You awake?"

"Trust me, I'm wide awake," Yuno barked, albeit, rather in a rude way; Maijima blamed the grogginess. Yuno began to sit up, rubbing his temple.

"You sure don't look awake." Maijima said, stating the obvious of the facts. "Answer truthfully, do you need to sleep longer?"

Yuno turned to his teacher, he looked annoyed by the question. "I'm fine," he rubbed his face with a hand, wiping away the exhaustion from his expression.

"Are you though?" Maijima raised a brow.

Maybe he really shouldn't have said he's fine. Fine is dirty four lettered word, everybody knows, and you're entire lie is doomed to be unconvincing when you use that word. Yuno only realized this too late as he looked up at the window, avoiding eye contact. That's just more proof of lying.

Maijima sighed. "Well, at least you managed to get a few hours in. You didn't even mumble, you slept like a baby."

"I'm not a child."

"It's a figure of speech, don't take it too seriously."

Yuno frowned. He's not a child, and yet here he was, being compared to one. In all reality, he knew he really wasn't being compared to that of a newborn. He just hates having anything to do with one, let alone being called one.

"I'm not calling you a child." Maijima stated. "I'm just saying you looked like you actually slept well. That's not a bad thing, to get a few winks. You do understand that, right?"

"Of course." That definitely didn't sound convincing.

"That doesn't sound convincing." He knows.

"You're doing it again." Yuno dug the heels of his palms into his eyes.

"Doing what?"

"Are you dense? You're really starting to push it and I'm not in the mood to deal with prying questions right now."

Maijima flinched away, his eyebrows pinching together and a slight scowl strewn on his features. There's the problem, he's running away again.

"You're also doing it again," Maijima countered. "You're avoiding everything that just so happens to be inconvenient to you. You're staying in your comfort zone like you always do."

"Excuse me?" Yuno lifted his head up to glare at Maijima, his baggy eyes piercing into his teacher's gaze. "Are you implying I'm a coward? What is so wrong with staying in what I deem a safe zone?"

Oh, Maijima struck a sensitive nerve. This was…more likely to piss off Yuno, not help him. He'll most definitely blow up again, and Maijima will be the cause again.

"You're not going to grow one bit if you stay there," Maijima poked Yuno's chest with finger, a little rough, as if he was proving a point. "I never said you're a coward, you're putting that into you're own head. What I am saying is that you are stopping yourself."

"Don't touch me," Yuno shoved the hand away, never breaking eye contact. "I will 'grow' where I feel safe. And I happen to feel safe when I'm not being asked personal questions."

"That's exactly your problem," Maijima threw his arms up, exasperatingly, in a frustrated manner. "You can't mature and grow if you stay there. You're never going to learn more if you don't struggle. Struggle is what humans are supposed to do, it's how we learn."

"I'm not like you!"

The shout caught Maijima off guard, and it seemed to have caught Yuno off guard as well, even though it had come from his own lips. Yuno's throat constricted, leaving him completely silent. He felt if he spoke, his voice would crack, and he'd feel like breaking down again. 

"Not like who?" Maijima asked, scooting closer to Yuno and rubbing soothing circles into his shoulders. "Who are you comparing yourself to?"

"No one!" Yuno's voice almost boomed, filling every corner of the room with his frustration. His voice faltered, and his breath stuttered as Maijima pulled his hand away. "I know- " His breath hitched. "I know I have a problem; you don't need to tell me what I'm like, because I know myself. I know best what my problems are, and I hate that."

Yuno buried his face in his hands, a quiet sigh leaving his throat as he squinted at nothing.

"I'm becoming a problem to others," there was a hint of sadness leaking through his voice.

"No, oh no, no, no. You're not a problem, Yuno." Maijima wrapped an arm around Yuno, reaching over to pull him closer into a side hug. "Believe me, I don't think you're nuisance, I promise. I think, all you need right now, what you've been needing for a long time, is guidance."

"Then why, why is nobody guiding me?" Yuno choked on his words. "Why does nobody want to help me?"

Because you're shielding yourself from them, but how is Maijima supposed to tell him that? Yuno has always isolated himself from others, and for good reason. Maijima can't just tell him to stop doing so. If he Yuno suddenly needed to drop all shields, tear down all walls, and lift all gates, the brunette wouldn't feel safe. Maijima wanted Yuno to feel safe, he didn't want to force those gates up.

"I think," Maijima began as he rested his temple on Yuno's head. "You just need to trust your close ones. Only they can help you as much as you require. Pushing others away will only put you in a place of loneliness."

Maijima heard quiet sniffles, and he saw dark circles staining Yuno's pants. Was he crying? Maijima felt a small ball of panic sit in his stomach, he'd done it again. He'd gone too far and made Yuno upset again.

"Sorry! Are you okay? I didn't mean to make you upset." Maijima was quick to apologize. "I just thought maybe you needed to hear someone say those words."

"It's fine," Yuno brought a hand up to wipe away any tears before they could further stain his cheeks. "I'm just…I don't know what to do."

"That's okay," Maijima said. "It's okay to be confused. Just know, it's okay to lift the gates a bit and ask for help. You won't be problem to me."

The dam had broken, and the walls began to crumble down. Tears spilled over and rolled down Yuno's cheeks, like a glass with too much water being poured into it. Maijima let him, holding him close and comforting him. He was so small and fragile in his arms.

"I'll always be there for you, I promise."

—————

So, exactly where are you when I need help?

Yuno couldn't help but think so intrusively. Well, with two students standing beside him, and a larger student pressing a strong hand into the wall near his head, Yuno couldn't help thinking such thoughts.

All he did was walk, maybe look into his bag for a book, then continue on to a class he would actually take part in. Yet here he was, trapped between a group of students and the wall, losing all hope of arriving on time. If this was to go on any longer, Yuno would end up being more late than he'd rather be.

"I'm talking to you!" The bigger student shouted, his voice boomed through the hall. It hurt Yuno's ears.

Yuno didn't answer the student, only stared up into his eyes with a blank expression.

"Don't want to answer me?" The student scowled. He moved his hand from the wall to the top of Yuno's head, gently patting. A pause went by, and a smile was worn on his face. Before Yuno could even begin to form a glare, the student's fingers tightened into a fist and gripped a handful of brown locks. The student yanked Yuno's head toward him, causing a wince to emit from pale lips.

"I asked you a question." The student said in a stern tone. "Where is my damn wallet?"

"I didn't take any of your values or possesions." Yuno answered. "You're just delusional."

"Oh, I'm delusional?" The student turned to the other two, smaller, students next to him. "You get any of this crap?" The other students snickered like 4 year old girls picking on another girl with glasses. "You sure you aren't the delusional one here? You're the one always slamming desks for no reason and arguing with yourself. You think people didn't notice your little breakdown earlier?"

Yuno chose not to answer again. He knew, he wasn't stupid, he understood that other students saw him having a mental breakdown with Loader. He just hoped and prayed not too many saw him in such a state. Otherwise, they would see him as weak and have another reason to target him.

"There you go again, ignoring everyone who speaks to you." The student smacked Yuno's head back against the wall, rather harshly; it was definitely going to hurt for a while. "What's got you so locked up in your head all the time? Maybe we should break down those walls that keep you so insane. Maybe then, you'd be a little more aware of reality."

I'm not insane, Yuno didn't say aloud, but he sure thought it in an irritated tone.

The student grinned as he wound his fist back, ready to sucker punch Yuno in the jaw, ready to bruise those pale cheeks and have a proud word to say about it. Yuno's eyes immediately closed, squeezing shut, waiting for the blow to come.

It never did make a hit. Instead, a loud voice sounded, it wasn't as loud as the student holding Yuno's head against a wall, but it was loud enough to catch everyone's attention.

"Kindly, let go and stop pulling his hair." The student asked nicely, his voice sounding a bit small now that everyone was looking at him. "I will report you to the teachers if you don't leave him alone."

The large student glared, a thought crossing his mind before he let go of Yuno's hair. Sure enough, he didn't want a teacher catching him acting up, so he turned around and left with the two of his goons following close behind.

Yuno turned to the student who stepped in. He first recognized green and curly hair, and freckles. Then his eyes quickly took notice of another student, half red and half white hair.

Ah, Yuno craned his head back, pinching the bridge of his nose in annoyance. Midoryia and Todoroki.

"Are you okay?" Midoryia placed a hand on Yuno's shoulder. Yuno flinched at the contact and Midoryia quickly pulled away, worried he might've invaded personal space.

"Quite fine," Yuno replied, staring into what Midoryia may have thought was his own soul. "Thank you for that, I'll be on my way now."

"Oh, um," Midoryia tripped over his words, Todoroki tapped his shoulder a couple times to get the green haired boy to calm down. "Are you sure you don't want to go to Recovery Girl? Just in case?"

Even when I'm trying to actually do something in my life, I'm still sent a group of flies to bug me.

"Would that put your mind at ease?" Yuno turned to face Midoryia, his crossed arms resting against his chest.

"Well-"

"It'd make us feel better," Todoroki quickly butt in. "It'd be best if you did check for injuries, just in case. We did see your head get slammed into the wall."

Yuno sighed. "Fine. I'll go. Don't ever bring this up after I leave. I don't need more rumors going around that I stole something."

"Did you steal something?"

Yuno deadpanned at Todoroki; the half and half boy questioned with such a blank face, Yuno thought he was being made fun of. Alas,there being nothing he really could do about it, he just turned around and made his way to Recovery Girl's office. Midoryia and Todoroki took a moment to look at each other, similar thoughts running through their head.

That's the opposite way to Recovery Girl's office.

"Hey! Um, Tsumuyuki-kun!" Midoryia ran after Yuno.

"What?" Yuno turned around after groaning. "I'm going, aren't I? Must you follow me to the office?"

"That's the wrong way." Todoroki pointed down the hall. "Her office is the other way. Did you lie about going to see her?"

"No, I-" Yuno cut himself off, he'd rather not argue about this. "Okay, I get it. I did lie. What, are you going to 'escort me' since I'm not trustworthy to go by myself?"

"That sounds like a great idea!" Midoryia was practically roaring as he spoke, he must've been nervous with the tension filling the air.

Yuno winced at the loud voice, bringing a hand up to hover over his ears. He pressed a palm down against his ear hole, making an attempt to stop the high pitched ringing.

"Stop shouting," Yuno formed a glare and directed it at Midoryia. "It's already loud enough with the school being full of morons."

Yuno began his walk in the correct direction of her office, his gait never changing as he took each step with a long stride. Todoroki followed him; trust is something Yuno did not have right now, so Todoroki would make sure, just for Midoryia, that Yuno would make to the office. Midoryia had thought about pulling his notebook out, so he could jot down any question Yuno might have answers to. Yuno is well known around UA, a little too much so if you ask him personally; even first years are informed of Yuno's, one would say, reputation. Midoryia, being a person who wants to attain more knowledge about heroes and Quirks alike, he had many questions for Yuno. Now, he was here, he knew the Yuno Tsumuyuki, but he's so different from when he's on screen, seen by the public.

Last year, he looked so much more happy, when he won the Sports Festival.

Midoryia decided to leave his notebook, all he needed to do now was make sure Yuno made it to Recovery Girl. He looked up at Todoroki, whom was slightly taller than him. When he gets a closer look at both the boys, Midoryia can see the similarities Yuno and Todoroki share. They share the same neutral scowl and the same "leave me alone" aura. They say the eyes are the windows to the soul, and yet Midoryia can't tell what goes on in those brains of theirs. It just makes him all the more curious.

"So-"

"I'm not going to be interrogated right now." Yuno had cut Midoryia off well before he could even get two words out.

"I wasn't going to interrogate you," Midoryia frowned. "I was just wondering if you were feeling okay."

"I'm fine, you're the one who wanted me to get a check up like a child." Yuno's hands began to fidget with his sleeve, occasionally reaching under the sleeves to pick at the white fabric of bandages.

"Ah, sorry." Midoryia quickly apologized. "Just wanted to check."

Yuno had half a mind to roll his eyes, but he didn't, he would almost definitely be noticed.

'It'd be so much easier to just tell them off.'

"Go away."

'Easier to just shove them away.'

"Stop it."

'So much easier to just…'

Kill them all.

Yuno's feet came to a stop, and his hands found their way to his ears as he stared at the ground. They weren't real, Maijima said they aren't, Kisu told him not to answer them, Yume said he's okay, they're not real. He needs to stop thinking for a few minutes, he needs to go on autopilot and let his mind focus on something useless.

"Tsumuyuki-kun?" Midoryia tilted his head in confusion. "Do you have a headache?"

Yuno felt Midoryia's hand reach before he could see it. He swatted Midoryia's hand away, turning around in a defensive stance. His eyes shook, unfocused and hazy as he locked eyes with Midoryia.

"Don't-" Yuno sounded like he was choking. "Don't touch me, please." His voice sounded desperate.

"What's wrong? Do you have a headache? Is it something I did?"

Todoroki tapped Midoryia's shoulder to get his attention. The greenette turned around to see Todoroki shaking his head silently. Midoryia turned back to look at Yuno, a thin sheen of sweat already forming on the pale boy's skin.

"Goodness, what all this racket?" Like it just appeared out of nowhere, a door opened, a short lady popping her head out.

"Ah," Todoroki exclaimed softly, pointing at Recovery Girl as she looked between Midoryia and Yuno. "Tsumuyuki needs a checkup."

Recovery girl looked up at Yuno, and frown formed in her features. A poor state the boy was in as he couldn't find enough courage to look at her. She opened the door further and beckoned them inside. Yuno did exactly that, moving hurriedly to get away from prying eyes. Todoroki and Midoryia followed suite.

"Come, come, sit down here." She used her cane to point at a bench against the wall. Midoryia and Todoroki planted themselves on the red cushion. "Here, Yuno, sit here." She pushed a chair out toward him and tapped the flat part of the seat.

Yuno only stared at it, his feet stuck to the floor and his hands clammy and cold. Hesitantly, he planted himself on the edge of the seat, placed his hand on his thighs and gripping the fabric of his pants.

"What's wrong, hon?" She put both hands on the handle of her cane. "Can you tell me?"

Yuno's throat constricted, swallowing down the lump he felt, his Adam's apple rolled as he did so. He shook his head side to side, refusing to speak.

Recovery Girl sighed, then she reached into her pocket and pulled out a container of gummies. She poured two out onto her hand and held it out for Yuno. "Want a gummy? It'll make you feel better." She it so encouragingly, it made Yuno feel like a child.

"No," Yuno answered quietly. "No, no, thank you."

Todoroki studied Yuno as he kept saying no to himself. He didn't look like he was answering Recovery Girl as much as he was answering someone else. He sounded small and fearful, as if he was afraid of punishment. Recovery Girl wouldn't punish him, he hadn't done anything. Midoryia, on the other hand, didn't seem to think too much on it, seeing how he had his notebook in hand and was jotting something down. Maybe Todoroki was reading too much into it.

"I can't help if you don't tell me what happened." Recovery Girl said. "Are you hurt anywhere?"

"Oh!" Midoryia perked up at that. "His head, I just wanted to see if you could-"

"My ears." Yuno answered for himself, and everyone had to strain their ears to hear him clearly. "My ears, it's loud, it hurts."

"Your ears? But it's so quiet in here."

Recovery Girl shushed Midoryia. "This is a problem that cannot be solved physically, Midoryia. Let's keep quiet now for Yuno."

"So it's a psychological problem?" Todoroki asked bluntly.

"I'm not insane!" Yuno's head snapped up, his eyes locked with Todoroki's. "I promise, I'm completely aware."

"Calm down." Recovery Girl gently pat Yuno's head, she then turned to Midoryia and Todoroki. "Are there any other problems I should know about?"

"Our original problem was his head." Todoroki answered before Midoryia could. "He hit his head against the wall."

Yuno let a silent "thank you" float in the air. He was grateful Todoroki didn't say he was being targeted, he'd have to thank him personally at some point.

"I'll make sure to check on that," Recover Girl flashed a kind smile. "Last class of the day is starting soon. You lot should get going now."

"Alright then," Midoryia straightened up as he fixed his tie and led Todoroki out of the office. "Have a good day you two!"

Recovery Girl nodded before the door was closed again. When she turned back to Yuno, his eyes were drooping, his head lulled slightly to the side, and his mouth was agape as he drew in soft breaths. Recovery Girl exhaled deeply, grabbing a blanket for the boy and laying it on him. He didn't seem to notice it, the only sign he was awake being the way he flinched at the warm touch of her hand on his head.

"What are we going to do with you?"