Vol 2: Chapter 2: Not Worthy

Ram didn't find Em even after he searched amongst the scattered remains of the lab, then at every nook and corner of the lab.

She was not inside the lab in which they hid ever since they appeared inside the Nonliving Soul World after they merged together.

She had made him promise that they will never step out of this lab if he wasn't trained to her satisfaction.

Today was their first day of her training and he must've angered her so much that she broken the rule that she herself had set for them.

The way she talked about The Nonliving Soul World seemed like it was a hell. She was afraid that he would not survive outside.

And she still stepped outside the lab.

God damn it.

He wanted to go search for her. But he was afraid.

It didn't matter. He had to talk with her. Tell her what's been bothering him. Take her help.

Otherwise, they would be stuck inside this lab forever.

Taking a deep breath, he stepped out of the lab only to find a gigantic rundown palace that looked more like a ghost palace than anything he had ever seen in movies or in the real world.

The pillars supporting the palace at regular interval were covered with glowing vines that snaked around them in such a way that Ram felt like the vines were eating the pillar away.

The walls, floor and some parts of roof that were still intact were also covered with mossy flames that were glowing in such an eerie way that felt like it was sucking the light of the world rather than emitting the light at the world.

Ram was getting more scared with each step he took towards the palace.

As he reached the giant stairway, he stopped.

They looked solid enough. Like they were made of perfect wood from his world.

As he stepped on them though, Ram stumbled right through it and fell down.

He felt something sucking his Soulfire and Ram hastily pulled himself up and gotten away from them.

They seemed more like leeches that sucked one's Soulfire.

What about the pillars and other structures he had seen. Were they also leeches that could somehow read one's mind and conjure their imagination as an illusion that looked so real that once they walked closer they would suck one's Soulfire?

Ram didn't know.

What he did know was that he shouldn't touch anything inside this palace.

It's better to be safe than sorry, so he turned himself into dim orange flames and he flew into the palace.

As he stepped inside the room, he found that it was a huge hall. There was a giant statue of a being with glowing skin, horns and fangs, that looked like a devil reincarnate.

For some reason, he reminded Ram of Yama. Or to be more precise, it reminded him of Chandra and he shuddered.

Chandra scared him even more than Yama. After all, he had seen Chandra in action after Ram kissed his fiancée. Even though they are still together after everything, Ram was sure that their relationship was never going to be the same.

He stopped thinking about them and focused on his surroundings. He glanced all round him to see that it was an open area. There were no rooms all around the hall.

A basement?

Ram looked up to see a gigantic chandelier glowing and whistling an eerie tune.

He almost wet himself with fear. He need to find Em, convince her to talk with him, possibly away from here. If not, then they should have their discussion as quickly as they can and get the hell away from the palace.

It was giving him nightmares even when he was awake and Ram didn't dare to imagine what it would feel like when he slept.

He turned his gaze away from the glowing chandelier and towards the floors.

The palace seemed to have five floors. He could also see several rooms in it. But what freaked Ram out was that there were no stairs connecting one floor to another.

What the heck was this place?

Ram didn't know. He didn't want to know.

He had to find Em. As soon as possible.

He flew towards the first floor and started to search for Em.

In the first room, he found a bed that was literately covered in flames all over, weird moans seemed to come from the bed and it was creaking so badly that Ram left the room as quickly as he stepped in it.

He then found another room with it's bathroom wide open. The shower seemed to be turned on and as he moved closer, it was not the water that was coming out of shower head. It was blood. Or something similar to it.

Ram ran out of the room even faster than the first one.

He then moved to the third room to find couple of souls arguing about something.

In the next room he found a lone soul with glowing headphones, shaking it's head to music.

That didn't looked totally creepy at all, right? No. It looked totally creepy. The soul was in a human form and was twisting and turning in ways that would've killed human.

Oh. My. God.

Just what the heck was this place?

Ram shook his head.

He had to find Em.

And get the hell out of here.

He immediately walked out of the room and searched the remaining rooms. He didn't find Em.

He then flew towards the second floor.

This floor seemed to be filled with weird flames, moans and creeks of beds.

Openly.

No room.

Ram then realized that the weird flames were actually the result of passionate sex between two souls and he had witnessed something so private.

Damn it.

It ruined his eyes forever.

He had only kissed Sandhya and that turned into a huge disaster.

But watching all these really messed up his mind.

He didn't linger on the second floor and immediately flew towards the third floor.

He didn't find her.

He didn't find her on any other floor.

When Ram was feeling depressed, he thought that he should just give up. Let Em calm down so that she could come to him on her own.

But Ram didn't know whether he would be willing to talk to her about what's bothering him or not at that time.

He had to find her right now.

He closed his eyes and searched for Em, using the connection that existed between the two merged souls.

And he felt Em.

On top of the Chandelier.

He opened his eyes and really found her sitting on top of Chandelier, or hovering above it. She was in her human form.

She must've felt him watching her because, she disappeared a moment later.

Or more likely she turned invisible.

She knew many such secrets and the part of her training him was to learn those secrets. But he had angered her and disappointed her during their first session itself.

Ram sighed.

He flew closer towards the chandelier, to see it glowing with light.

As if it was alive.

There was a gigantic eye at the center of the chandelier. The eye turned towards him and winked at him.

"Hello, Dear Guest. Welcome to Hotel Pleasure & Privacy. I am the chief of Hotel Pleasure & Privacy at it's Nonliving Division. What do you seek, Pleasure or Privacy?" it asked.

Ram squeaked like a girl.

This was Pleasure and Privacy? Was his mind playing pranks on him? And why was a Chandelier talking? Is it also a soul?

Ram didn't want know and he didn't want to know. He had already seen many weird things. He had even seen passionate sex between many souls. He didn't want to lose whatever sanity he was left with to know more about a talking Chandelier. Now that he thought about it, he had heard The Chandelier whistling a tune.

He just wanted to get away from this place as soon as possible.

The Chandelier hummed. "It seemed like you ruined your date with the weird soul hovering above me. Shall I give you the most private booth we have so you could resolve it out with passion?" it asked.

Ram coughed. "She's more like a close friend to me," he said.

"Friends with benefits?"

"No. Friends like I could die for her if she was in danger and she could do the same for me," Ram said.

The Chandelier hummed. "Then are you Soulmates?" it asked. Before Ram could reply, it continued. "No. There's something strange between the two of you. I don't know what it was, but you are definitely close to Soulmates, but weird. Whatever. It seemed like you want to talk with her, but she don't. Shall I help you?"

"Yes. It would really be helpful," Ram said.

The Chandelier gave him another wink and it closed it's eye, turning to a side, revealing a large mouth.

It opened it's mouth and sucked Ram's Soulfire.

After it almost sucked enough to keep his physical form but not able to do any feats otherwise, it opened an entrance to a room.

It was empty. Without any decoration or comfort. It just felt like storage room that was waiting for the goods to be filled with. But right at this moment, it was empty.

Ram stepped inside and found that he was in his human form. What surprised him even more was that Em also appeared in her human form at the same moment. He felt him losing his Soulfire was worth it.

Em just hovered in the air at the center of the room.

"Em. I am sorry. Can you talk to me please?" he asked.

Em ignored him.

"Em, please…" Ram pleaded.

Em turned away from him.

Ram had no choice.

He wailed like a small child and he didn't care that she get to see this side of him, the one that he had only revealed in front of Aunt El.

In a way, Em had become as important to him as Aunt El and they had only known each other for few days.

Em ignored him at first, but finally, she frowned. "What are you doing?" she asked.

Ram didn't stop wailing. He spoke to her at brief pauses of his wails. "To annoy you? To make you feel guilty? To make you laugh? Or to make you talk with me? I don't know. But it's good that you are talking to me finally," he said.

Em sighed. "What do you want to talk to me about?" she asked.

"About what's bothering me."

"And that is…"

"I started to wonder whether I deserved to be your friend or not. Whether I deserved your sacrifice of choosing to merge with me instead of using The Bead of The Institute for yourself or not," Ram said.

Em flew closer to him, poked him in the forehead.

Ram flew away from her and glared at her.

She chuckled.

"You are not taking this seriously," he said.

"Of course I am taking this seriously," Em said.

"And is this how you are going to respond? By poking my head?" he asked.

Instead of answering, Em flew towards him, threw her arms around him and hugged him.

She felt more like a person was hugging him rather than an illusion or projection. It felt warm.

"Ram, you know that I will be there for you forever. I mean literally since we are merged souls and all. But more than that, you are the first friend that I ever had and I will cherish that forever. If that's not the case, I wouldn't have used The Bead of The Institute to merge with you," she said.

Ram hugged her back with as much as he can. Right now, she was the one who understood him and care about him. He felt a sort of closeness that he didn't even feel with Aunt El. "I know. But don't you see that's where everything went wrong? You could've used the The Bead for yourself. But you chose to save me instead. To merge with me. And look where it landed both of us," he said.

"I know," she said and patted his back.

He loved this. Loved feeling Em against him. He hugged her harder. "Em. You said that The Bead was supposed to transfer us into The Living Soul World, but something crazy happened and we ended up inside the Nonliving Soul World instead. Don't you see the problem here? It's because you merged with me, chose to save me that this mistake happened. Otherwise, you would've been back at The Institute with Powers of Time and god knows what else. Look now. We can't even use Powers of Time. Imagine how easy it would've been for us if we had Powers of Time Inside the Soul World," he said.

Em groaned. "The Powers of Time works at The Institute and Real world of yours because they come under the domain of The Institute. In Soul World, you could be able to use Soulfire and you have already seen how amazing it's uses were.

"And before you could ask, the reason you were almost destroyed was because you tried to use Soulfire in The Domain of The Institute. You have to expand your Well of Soulfire and recharge The Well with Soulfire from time to time to access it outside of Soulworld. In that battle, you have used all of the Soulfire you have and tried to use even more. And you the rest of the story.

"If you have built a Well of Time inside of you, you could use Powers of Time. But you don't have Well of Time for now. I don't know how you managed to build The Well of Soulfire to such an extent that you almost destroyed Veera, an expert from Soul World as well as Hypnotist.

"For now, you just have to stop focusing on powers you are able to use and not able to use. Instead, you focus on becoming stronger. I have all the knowledge from The Institute with me it was more than you can even imagine. I will guide you through every step of the way. You have to trust me and follow my advice. Will you trust me?" she asked, stepping away from him, looking expectantly.

Ram hesitated. Em was on the verge of tears.

"It's not like I don't trust you. I don't trust myself. I fear that if you are with me, you were doomed to fail. Wherever I go, I bring problems and disaster. Look how The Institute had ended up? What Aunt El and others have to face as a result of my battle with Veera? And look where it brought us? I think it would've been better if you had used the Powers of The Bead to save yourself," Ram said.

Em glared at him. "And let you to die?" she asked.

Ram nodded. "Don't you see I am not worthy of your friendship?" he asked.

Em slapped him.

Hard.

Ram didn't even wince. He just stared at her.

"Idiot. You are ignorant of how the world really works. Aunt El must've been so protective of you that she didn't let any sort of problems reach you. No wonder, you thought so immaturely," she said.

"Don't blame Aunt El's upbringing. She raised me like her own son. She loved me so much that she even distanced herself from her sister, whom she loved like her own mother," Ram said.

"She is just like you in so many ways. Or rather, you are more like her. Really, if I get a chance, I will have to teach both of you what it means to love and have friends and all," she said.

Ram glared at her. "Aunt El is the most mature person I ever known," he said.

"That's why she froze in the middle of the battle when Fathima professed her love to her? It was her sister, Elder of Air who took charge. I believe Elder of Air was the more mature and intelligent amongst all of you. At least, it's better than your Aunt El has her sister to take care of her now. She needed it after Fathima's betrayal," Em said.

"The betrayal happened because Aunt El didn't realize Fathima's feelings for her. If only she hadn't devoted so much to me, she would've realized it sooner and would've spent the rest of their lives being a couple."

"Which is pure fantasy. Aunt El doesn't love Fathima. It's Fathima who was in love with her. And don't argue with me about love and friendship with your immature way of thinking. I have more knowledge than all of you combined. I have served many masters and watched wide variety of relationships. It would do you good if you listen to my advice and act accordingly. And right now, you should stop thinking that you are not worthy of us," Em said.

Ram glared at her. What does she know? She was an A.I. Not human being. Human beings are more complex than an A.I.

Ram must've lost control of his powers of him blocking her from accessing his thoughts because, Em was acting as if she had heard him. She glared at him harder. "I have already said I am more closer to being a human as an A.I. can ever get. And it became even more true after I merged with you. I can have my own body, not a projection or illusion. I didn't like to tell you so soon. But I can have a real body not only in The Soul World, but also in any of The Worlds that existed. All of that was thanks to you. It was possible because you allowed me to integrate the Bead of The Institute," she said

"Which you should have done completely. You shouldn't have wasted it on me. Before you could sprout another nonsense, let me show you a solid proof to my claims. After I kissed Sandhya and Chandra, their relationship became even more complex. For all we knew, they could've broken up or in the future, their relationship would ruin because of my mistake. Do you still think I am worthy of being loved?" he asked.

Em sighed. "Look, they are still together even after all that happened and I don't care whether they stay like that or not in the future. If they don't overcome this small problem, then they are not meant to be together. While you, you deserved to be my friend, deserved to be a son for loving mother like Aunt El, deserved to be a good ally for Sandhya and Chandra, which I believe you would be once we get out of The Soul World, and more importantly, there is someone out there, someone the souls of Soul World called Soulmate for you who loves you as much as you will love her. For whom you will be willing do do anything no matter what the cost. When you meet her, I would be like your smug friend and tell you 'I told you'. So prepare yourself to be loved like a friend, like a son, like an ally and like a lover. Stop sprouting nonsense. Otherwise, I will have to beat it into you," she said cracking her knuckles.

Ram hesitated.

Em glared at him. "Looks like I really have to beat it to you," she said, flowing closer to him.

"Wait! Just let me think," Ram said.

"I don't think so," Em said, but she stopped.

If she would've started to beat the crap out of him, Ram would've been fine with it.

But she stopped.

It made him feel even more worthless.

No matter whom he involved himself with, he would bring disaster to them.

He had interrupted Em while she was integrating The Bead of The Institute and she used it to save him, by merging with him. They somehow ended up with them inside Nonliving Soul World.

If Em was alone, she would've already left The Soul World. But she was merged with Ram and the way she had beaten him during their earlier training session, it was evident that he was the weaker one amongst them.

He believed that she was the one to gain eyesight first. For all he knew, she didn't require Soulfire to regain her eyesight at all. She might have hidden that fact for his own benefit.

He needed Soulfire to become strong enough to even see. Forget about getting out of The Soul World.

Then there was Aunt El. Her relationship with her sister was broken because of him, her love relationship with Fathima didn't even start just because she was focused on raising him like her own son. That made them become mortal enemies.

More than that, him kissing Sandhya, and trying to win her love even after he knew that she was engaged to Chandra, messed up their relationship. He didn't know whether they are still together or not.

And Em believed that he was destined to have a Soulmate of his own, whom he loved so much that he would even be willing to do anything for her?

It's one big joke.

Ram didn't think he deserved to be Em's friend. He didn't think he deserved to be Aunt El's son. He didn't think he deserved to be Sandhya and Chandra's ally.

To sum it up , he didn't deserve to be loved in any form.

Ram vowed to search for a way for each of them to separate from Em so that she could still be alive and well. It didn't matter if it would kill him. At least, he would've solved a problem.

He didn't want to be anyone's problem.

So when Em took him by his collar and dragged him out of the room The Chandelier had thrown them into, away from the floor and out of the palace, he didn't stop her.

Even when she started to beat some sense into him, he didn't resist.

He let her use him to let go of her frustrations.