Drive for the win

Shan was afraid of being out on the stage before. He was usually there alone. All the people were staring at him alone, sitting behind the grand piano. But now, he wasn't alone. So he wasn't afraid.

He and his therapist thought it was an exceptional step towards getting cured. Step by step, he was getting used to things he couldn't do before, without puking his guts out. It took almost five years. But now, he was standing by his friends' side, hearing the cheers from the audience and enjoying it. 

"What's with you today?" Yinli asked, genuinely confused. Shan knew he wasn't anything like he was usual, but this was more like him from four years ago.

"Would it be weird to say that this is the real me?" he chuckled because it was true. He enjoyed social gatherings. He had many friends from all around the world. Now, his world was Zhu long, his eSport team.

"No, I wouldn't be surprised. You always seem a bit restrained." Yixing joined in the conversation, yet his statement surprised Shan. Was Yixing always that good at reading people? As if he knew what Shanshan was thinking, he smiled at him and explained.

"I learned from an early age how to differentiate my father's moods, read every movement of his body to control my reaction, so he would be calm." 

Now, it all made sense to Shan. Why was Yixing so subtly complying with everyone's mood? Trying to hype them up or be happy, knowing how exactly they felt. And to Shan, he was always soothing. Yixing always made Shan calm down. Yitian did too, but that was different.

When Shan learned what happened to Yitian, he knew it was similar to his trauma. That's why it felt comfortable to be around him. He wasn't making any sudden movements. Yitian always spoke softly and calmly. Never raised his voice or never forced him to do anything he didn't want. 

That was his mother's problem. Han Eunji became so overbearingly protective of him. It was hard to take. Shan got it, he almost died. And now that became her biggest fear. But Shan and his father were sure she needed therapy as much as Shan did. But a huge problem was getting her there. 

A prime example of her overprotectiveness was the number of calls he had on his phone from her. Fifteen calls since he finished his game. He came down from the stage, had water, and watched Huobai's interview, and she called him fifteen times. And it was becoming gradually worse because he was in South Korea. 

But now, there was one call in between that surprised Shan. His father, Yang Yuhao. Shan perplexedly looked at the time. It was right when his father was at work. He was a normal white-collar worker, so usually, he wouldn't call during his working hours. 

Shan, who was confusedly staring at the phone in his hands, heard Chao's voice fill the room they were in, so he shifted his attention back to the conversation they had. 

He was surprised that Lei and Lili had already left and Huobai was holding the phone so everyone would see Chao on the screen, and Chao would see at least some of them.

"Shanshan… Can you perform the trick you have been trying for a month?" Shanshan half nodded and half shook his head. He wasn't exactly sure he could do the maneuver. He watched one streamer of a different game and saw something he sent to Chao. Chao liked it and adjusted it to their needs.

"Listen to me. Just don't be afraid. If you lose, just blame it on us being away. No one would be surprised. But, if Hongjie and Shanshan are willing to try something. I can tell you a strategy you could use tomorrow." Everyone nodded and waited. There was silence for a few moments before Shanshan spoke up first. He was… willing to try it. He just wanted to be up on the stage. So Hyun could see him. Why was he thinking that? Shan still did not know why, but maybe it was because Hyun was really charming. And Shan couldn't deny he was beautiful. Not his type, but beautiful. 

"Are you sure about that being effective? You know that if we lose this time, we will go home?" he asked, just wanting to be sure, but Chao just chuckled. 

"I know losing will be a hard blow, but if you won't regret anything… We are still a young team. We have a long way to go." They could all hear a mumbling next to Chao. He turned to the camera more to the left and showed Yitian snuggling against his arm. 

"I gotta go. I'm still sleepy. But I will say one thing. You don't have to use this strategy. I'm not there to assess the game. I don't know what you will stand against. You need to decide for yourself," Chao said, and then just turned off the camera and hung up. Shan was… pleased? Excited? He felt something he couldn't describe. Was he just allowed to use his judgment? But the last time he did it, his friend died. Shan survived, yet didn't at the same time.

"Did he just tell us to do whatever we want to do?" Yixing turned around to search for an agreement. It was surreal to everybody. Not only Shan.

"Usually he wouldn't let us change his strategy. Do you think he… changed?" Wuchen smirked at Yixing.

"Do you think we can do it?" Hongjie asked, unsure. Huobai nodded. Shan looked at him, done with all of it. Did he just answer instead of Shan?

"You are both very hardworking. I know you can do it. You can try it out now, before yesterday's games. And as Chao said, we can change the strategy according to the situation. As we always try to do. Nothing always goes Chao's way." Huobai stood up from the couch and looked around. 

"I don't know about you, but I'm dead tired, so I'm going to sleep. You can do whatever you want except leave the room before Lei allows you to. And given that Shanshan will probably stay up and train, you can use my room. I got used to Yixing's hand as a pillow," he said and chuckled at the shocked expressions.

"Oh, and whoever will train," Huobai paused, looked at his watch, and then back at Shanshan, "You need to finish by ten. Our game tomorrow is the second one on the side stage. The time limit is thirty minutes and all the morning matches start at nine o'clock. If we win, we will have another round in the afternoon. So you need as much rest as you can. Especially, be careful about your hands." When he finished, Shan had to chuckle. He was too worried. He cared too much, but it was funny. 

"Roger, Mom," he saluted, together with his teammates. And looked at Hongjie.

"Idiots," Huobai muttered and walked to Yixing's room. Shan sat next to Hongjie and looked at him. 

"Are you sure we can do it?" he asked and Hongjie shrugged. 

"What is so hard about me being a trap and a killer? While you are my guard?" Well, when he said it like that, it… sounded easy. 

"Let's try it in the game…" Shan sighed and took his laptop. Hongjie sighed too and joined him.