What is there to do today?

While walking on the road to the church on the usual path, I saw something very interesting,

it was a cat helping another cat while she was feeding her kittens. Then a thought came to my mind what's there for me in the future. Will I really need someone who'll help me like this. Well thoughts can be quite silly, we never know which one will pop up in our mind and when. Then when I went back home, before sleeping everything was normal but the moment I closed my eyes, a thought popped up, it was like I knew it.

I knew what is there to do today and it was look at what I am doing daily, my nature like putting a mirror in front and having the spotlight only on me or maybe my surroundings as well.

So the thoughts began and now I was like let's go with it. So firstly I thought about my friend or I can say my best one, it's like she's totally with me but she's not. It's like her senses draw her away from me. But yeah it's not like it's her fault, I am the one at fault. But she tries her best, I hope at least, to be with me and we get together very well, I guess.

Then there is the boy whom I have only takes with maybe 10 times in the last two years, I hope. Then my mind started thinking that no he can never be the one because I can't allow myself to be the one with him. I am not judging hum but he makes me feel kind of useless and himself as if the usefull one.

Then I started thinking what I would like to have in a man, and then it was a huge silent even the insects outside the window in the jungle stopped makin any kind of noise.

Then one thought popped up in my mind, and it was...