Chapter 10

I was beginning to lose trust in my wolf.

As Ares and I walked the familiar, empty path to the place we had met before, I silently scolded her. She paid no mind to my feelings, though, satisfied with the fact she had suppressed my senses in order to draw me out to the front door, as she knew if I sensed Ares I would not have gone. It irked me, but I could not fault her; her primal urges trumped my emotional needs anytime. And as she was the stronger of us, she could easily do it again and I would have no say.

"...I'd been standing there for a while, I thought you would've come out sooner." Ares voice rang out into the silence, pulling me out of my thoughts.

He had been talking for quite some time, trying to appease the slight tension that tinged the air, but I had been too preoccupied with scolding my wolf and I hadn't been paying attention. I didn't answer him. I didn't want to entertain the idea that I might be doing this regularly, that he could just dismiss me in front of the pack and in secret we would act like mates - that would not be my burden to bear.

"May-"

"So how did the pack react to your father's announcement?" I asked, referring to the Alpha's announcement of his mate ship at the dinner. I knew my tone was sour with malice and that his wolf would hurt hearing me speak that way.

Ares sucked in a breath and turned to look ahead of us, keeping silent for a few seconds. In the darkness of the night, I couldn't make out his expression, but I knew he was feeling guilty...at least, I thought he was.

"How was your little talk with Aether?" He answered bluntly.

My heart stopped. I shivered despite the warm night air and could feel my ears heat up with embarrassment. How did he know about that? Had he been watching us, or had someone else seen us and reported back to him? I tried to rationalise all the questions that filtered through my head, going through all the possible scenarios as we walked in awkward silence, but still the doubt loomed at the back of my mind.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I answered.

That was the wrong answer, I said to myself, cursing in my head. It made me seem guilty as sin - he already knew the truth.

Ares turned to me, anger etched onto his face as his eyes flashed dark. "I saw you leave with him, May, the whole pack did." He scoffed.

I remained silent as we continued to walk, unable to think of a suitable response. Leaves crunched under our feet and the soft sounds of wildlife were the only noises in the night. I was starting to regret following Ares into the woods. After he had greeted me, I should have just turned around and walked back into my apartment. But I knew I couldn't, or, at least, my wolf wouldn't have allowed me. She was still confused about my interaction with Aether, both her feelings and mine were being jumbled up by the new, raw emotion I felt when I was with him.

Despite it being early days, we had seriously only had a few interactions over the past month, I felt as if I could trust him, but I knew my wolf accepting this was going to be a challenge.

"My wolf wants me to hold you...but I don't want to overstep." Ares breathed out as we finally made it to the clearing, we had previously spent time at.

Neither of us had voiced to the other that this was where we would be going, it seemed a sort of unspoken agreement as it was the safest place to be without being seen. It awoke the mate pull inside of me, sent butterflies into my stomach at the prospect of having a secret area only I and him knew about; untouched by the disease of those that objected to us being together.

"You already overstepped when you came to my front door." I muttered quietly, but I knew he heard me.

Ares sighed and leaned against a tree, back sliding down it to sit on the ground. I watched him, slightly angry that he was so relaxed and seemed not to acknowledge how I felt.

"Please, May," He began again, looking up at me with pleading eyes, "Let's just forget about everything for now, let's just...act like mates."

I was offended, shocked that he would even suggest something like that. So, we would act like mates now and then he'd go back to Riven, completely ignoring me until eventually he rejected me. I despised the idea.

But I didn't say anything. The expression on my face didn't even change. Because as much as I hated to admit it - I wanted to be mates too. I wanted to act like on the mating ceremony, all those weeks ago, he had taken me in his arms and had claimed me as his, and this was just one of the many days we had spent together, entangled like ancient branches and enjoying each other's company.

I could see he was hurting too. That his father's instructions had affected him just as much as me. He too was forbidden to make contact with his mate, forced to become intimate with another woman just to appease pack rules. It was eating him up inside too, albeit it in a different way. I just struggled to see that sometimes.

So, I sat.

"May." He chuckled, and my eyes wandered over to his as I pulled my legs to my chest. He was holding out his arms, signalling for me to go into them.

I scoffed, but felt my cheeks and ears heat up in embarrassment, looking away from him and pulling at the grass beneath me. I chewed on my lip, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of making contact with him, still irked at this whole situation. Deep down I knew though, that there was no way I could stay in a perpetual state of anger and grief all the time, it just wasn't healthy. Sooner or later, I would have to forgive him, let go, or give whatever this was a chance.

I heard Ares chuckle again from beside me, shuffling over to me and wrapping his arms around my frame. I didn't struggle or fight, I didn't even shift my body. I just let myself stay there in his embrace, watching the world go by from our little spot.

It was exhausting staying so angry all the time, and I wondered how I even let myself get to this point. The feelings that Ares ignited in me helped but I needed to work out the anger for myself, or it would consume me every time I saw Ares and Riven together. It would sever the mate pull and draw me closer to Aether, which even I was having second thoughts about, much to my wolf's delight.

We stayed there, in silence, none of us daring to say anything that would offend or upset the other. It was dark, but every time I caught a glimpse of Ares in my peripheral it was like the whole world would light up, like I could see every pore on his face, every dip and cut and scar. It was as if my gaze wanted to take in his entire form, scared we would forget what he looked like if I looked away once.

"What are you thinking about?" Ares asked a while after we had been sat there. We had both moved into more comfortable positions, still in each other's embrace, of course. It was surreal, feeling the mate pull so strongly after a while. As if where our skin met, I could feel the pull physically, like a tugging in my heart.

"Nothing." I mumbled, not really wanting to answer him. In my mind, it was still quite awkward and unsure between us. Growing up we had never really had any interactions with each other, and no matter how much the mate pull forced it's artificial attraction upon us, there would still be that disconnect and emptiness from not knowing each other that well.

Ares shifted beside me, placing his hand lightly on my chin and lifting my gaze to meet his. He stared into my eyes a while, as I did to his, before speaking.

"I want to know more about you." He said, almost reading my mind.

I wanted to say something cute, wanted to reassure him that we would get to know more about each other, but the looming fear in my mind that any moment our fantasy would crumble away was just too great to ignore.

"Ares..." I breathed.

I wanted to say that there was no point, I wanted to scream and tell him that there was no point when he was eventually going to run off with Riven after this and I would be left again to pick up the pieces of my shattered heart. But I was tired of being angry, I longed, just as my wolf did, to bask in the mate pull for once, to let it run through Ares and I. So, I told him about myself and what I enjoyed, and what I hated, and about myself. I left out anything that would turn the mood sour, I left out anything that would remind us that we weren't the perfect picture of mates and any moment our illusion could shatter.

And as the sun began to rise on the horizon, the hope that had been crushed on that fateful day began to live again, its heartbeat stuttering to life.