Bottle up feeling

I was in my boxer,brushing my teeth facing the mirror when Alex hug me from behind."what is wrong,why are you so distant.Did I do anything wrong?"she ask kissing my shoulder.I wash my mouth and face her."it about us,I only know that all this affection come from your wolf and it scared me.Making me question our future,we didn't even once used protection."I say and she sigh pulling herself off me,standing a good two feet away."I know,the future never come across my mind and why can't we stay like this?"she ask."I can't Alex,you're my mate,we suppose to be in love,not just our wolf"I say in anger."well that suck,listen I can't fall in love because I just can't and if you want my love I have to stop you there.Why can't we just let our wolf be happy"she say and it hurt me more listening to her words."I'm sleeping in my old room tonight"I say walking out her room to my old room across from hers.

I slept with tears,I guess she's a selfish prick.Only wanted to be love but doesn't want to loved.Why did I get a loveless mate,why can't I feel love.Why she only keep hurting me,why can't our love be like Kyle and Belle,why is she so complicated to understand.I huff in annoyance before sleep take over.

The next morning I avoid her at all cost.I make breakfast super early and left for the clinic.I have been absent for a few day now,I only hope Dr Jean won't be angry at me."there you are,how you been doing?"Dr Jean ask upon seeing me entering the clinic."I'm fine,sorry for not turning up this past day"I say."I know,I felt like not going anywhere when I found my mate"she say and I just smile half heartedly.

We then continue what I left off.So far my brain absorb well and I can memorize faster.Being here make me forget about my problem with Alex and I feel happy here.But when it time to went home,I felt heavy because I'm not ready to face Alex after yesterday fight.Maybe I was being immature but don't I deserve some sort of love from her and only her wolf love me not her.

I drag my feet home to only be greeted by Belle eating alone."where is them?"I ask."didn't Alex tell you,Kyle told me this morning that both of them are going to the neighboring pack one after the other,asking about the threat.It will take them months to finally come home,didn't Alex told you or mindlink you?"ask Belle and I started to regret about our fight yesterday."we had a fight and I was ignoring her"I say and Belle only smile,pitying me.

I went to Alex room after dinner,shower and get change.I was ready to sleep when I saw a note tape to my pillow.

Sorry about our fight,My wolf hated it.I will be going away for a few months with Kyle,stay healthy.Stay away from Jack and Tyson,tell me if they hurt you.

Thats all is written.I slept peacefully knowing she still care to write me and worry about my well-being.