4.6

Time: Early Morning, A few days after my... encounter with Odin.

Location: Leaving the village. Hopefully, forever.

At this point I can name almost everyone in the village.

Even a few dogs.

For example that is Garm, guard dog of Hel beside his Father; Fenris being the dog… er... wolf that growled at me… and was kicked by Odin. Explains so much, like why he eventually ate Odin at Ragnarok. I wave good bye as I pass one-handed Tyr, who as the god of Justice lied to Fenris and lost the hand to his jaws. Is anyone beginning to see a pattern of neglect and abuse of power here?

Since I'm unlikely to see these… people… again I pause, throwing a few strips of jerky to Fenris. "I'm sorry about how things ended up for you."

The Great Wolf looks at me long and hard. "Is this a bribe, pitiful creature?"

"Call it an offering. I feel genuinely torn up about how things ended up, all of your family dead." I shrug. "I hate self fulfilling prophecies. Ragnarok is the worst example."

The wolf sneers. "Perhaps you didn't pay as much attention as you think, because some of us didn't die… and all of us end up crashing at my sister Hel's place. So for us it is a form of family reunion."

"Huh. That's a different take on the end of the world..." I replied.

"Please, did the world end? It looks fine to me. No, it was all that stupid prophecy playing us for fools against each other. Odin likes to get his kicks in on me, because I let him. All of us dead gods roam under the auspices of a peace treaty with my sister Hel. The old coot tastes far too stringy, anyway. Once was more than enough, he is probably really gamy now." The Wolf of the river Vann sighed. "But your offering and sentiment is appreciated, we on the other side of the pantheon get a heap of abuse. I'll mention this to father the next time he thinks of playing tricks on you."

"Much appreciated, Greatest of the Three." I nodded to Garm beside him. "Protector of Hel."

"Good day to you." The lesser hound replied, in two echoing voices.

Well, that went better than expected. I played this straight as an arrow, because they're mind-reading gods with no sense of privacy. Always had a soft spot for old Fenris and it seems he's a fairly chill guy when you aren't responsible for killing his mother and chaining him to rocks. That I might have mitigated Loki's inevitable attempt to play me for kicks is just gravy.

The middle-aged lady, Gertrude to my surprise was waiting for me at the town exit to the east.

"Erm… I don't know who you are." I finally admitted.

"I'm glad, my Odin was playing with you, showing clues. I've just been busy supporting you quietly. It is natural that one fails to see Frigg in mortal guise, when her husband is playing the fool." She explained, before coughing. "I mean sage. Now come over here. I have some snacks and travel foods here. Let me fuss over you one final time. I haven't had time to mother someone since Thor was laid up in bed from that Serpent."

She spent a good ten minutes combing my hair for goodness sake… by the end of it I felt like a cat rubbed the wrong way.

"There. Now don't forget to eat and bathe. No more alcohol or I'll get cross. You're still a growing young boy!" She ordered, with a sharp look. "And… so help me, if I hear about you sneaking into a brothel I'll strike you impotent!" She changed into a look of innocence and light. "Now husband, perhaps you should remove the binding you placed on the boy's power? None of us want him here changing events longer than necessary."

"But dear, he didn't know! I wanted to keep it going for a good week or two, to test him against worthy opponents." Odin replied, with a huff. Appearing from nowhere, as far as my senses were concerned. "The whole Dragon Ball Z training arc!"

"What?!" I demanded. "You've been suppressing my powers, for your own amusement?!"

"Not quite." He waved a hand. "Hocus pocus. And your powers are back to full strength. Think of it as resistance training for the mind. You really scared us when you gave yourself a brain haemorrhage fighting it. Poor Frigg had a conniption. Since then I dialled back the restraints to stay at a certain point, rather than grow and neutralise your efforts. Since you seem obsessed with pushing your bounds. Just a reminder, push hard like that again and you'll be feasting in Valhalla or roaming Freya's fields of Folkvangr. You're pretty enough to appeal to her tastes, boy." He poked me. "Yes, an offering directly to Fenris counts as worship."

Oh. So I was Norse Pagan now?

I shrug. Could be worse. Hell exists, after all.

"Yes, never understood the appeal myself, either. All that preaching about forgiveness and then it's into the burning place for agony forever." Odin remarked. "Those angels are pricks too. All heresy this, heathen that, eternity of fire the other. Well, I get the last laugh don't I? None of my followers go anywhere worse than a blizzard."

"Hypocrite." Frigg coughed.

"Which I don't control, Hel does. A neutral party." He added, glaring at his wife as she smirked. "But seeing the future from your eyes, I have to say… all of this Justice League excitement seems like the perfect time to one up Zeus." He grinned. "So should you return to whence you came… you will have a new friend. Someone to take up the slack, so to speak."

"Oh? Which Valkyrie are you going to send, Brynhildr? Leave the poor girl to enjoy her marriage in peace." Frigg commented.

"No, I was thinking Svipul or Gunnr. They are easily bored, you know." He shrugged.

"Svipul is a poor fit, too bloodthirsty. Nice girl. Fights like a berserker." Frigg pointed out.

"Ah, true. Gunnr it is then, I wonder how she takes having the most iconic of firearms named after her?" Odin remarked. "Anyway, off to watch cats doing stupid things."

"Ohhh?! Me too! I'll come with you." Frigg replied. "It's how I spend my free time now, this internet of your world is a miraculous thing." She confided to me.

And so I was left there at the exit to town just staring as I tried to process everything.

What just happened? They have internet access?

Oh right, Odin suppressed my powers without saying a word and this resulted in me nearly dying…

Where did he go? I'll choke him!